So, You Want Us to Knit Reality?
Ash let Tallin, Inuyasha, Stormy and several other well-armed—and hunky!—guys lead the way out of the ship. She held her knitting needles in a ninja-like grip though, in case any spiders showed up and she could strike an awesome pose before turning tail and running away screaming.
"There's no need to be frightened," the Doctor said, appearing suddenly at Ash's side.
She let out a shriek and brandished her needles at him.
"Whoa there. Sorry." The Doctor grabbed her hands to keep her from putting his eyes out. "Didn't mean to scare you."
"I wasn't scared," Ash fibbed, snatching her hands back. "That was just my lightning ninja reflexes. Hiya! Hoo-wa! These hands are deadly, you know."
The Doctor nodded, deciding—wisely—to let the subject drop.
"So, Doc, who's this Weaver you mentioned?" Kyou asked, strolling up and throwing an arm around the Doctor's neck.
"The Weaver, is basically the Creator of Reality," the Doctor said, grabbing Kyou's wrist and twisting out of the young man's hold.
"Ow! Ow! Okay, I got it! No head locks," Kyou cried.
The Doctor released his arm. "Thank you. Now as I was saying; the Weaver basically weaves Reality. That's why we had to come past the Edge of Reality to find her Web."
"What happened to the Weaver?" Ash asked.
"I'm not sure," replied the Doctor with a sigh. "No one's heard from her in a long time. But since Reality kept being, well, REAL, no one questioned why she hadn't been heard from."
"So, you want us to knit Reality?" Anica asked.
"Pshaw! No!" the Doctor laughed. "You bunch? We'd end up with a gobbledy-gook mess that no one would ever recover from."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Jack said drily.
"If you think we're going to fail so spectacularly, why did you gather us and have Ash teach us to knit?" Tallin asked.
"Ah!" the Doctor cried. "Good point! Why indeed."
"Ah think tha's wha' he jus' asked," Sean said.
"Well, if someone starts messing with the Web, and Reality starts getting all gobbledy-gooky, then the Weaver will appear. At least, that's the theory," the Doctor said.
"So, basically, we're bait?" Inuyasha growled.
"Well—basically, yes. You're bait," the Doctor said. "But the Weaver is peaceful!" he shouted as the natives began to get restless. "She won't hurt you or eat you or anything. I don't think."
"I'm out!" Stormy said. "I don't do gigs with so few perks and a chance of dying."
"No one said anything about dying," Vash tried to soothe.
"I don't wanna die!" Momiji wailed.
"Now look what you've done," Kyou said, trying to comfort Tohru and Momiji at the same time, while glaring at Stormy.
Meanwhile, as everyone is busy arguing about the merits—or pros—and demerits—or cons—of the Doctor's plan, Jay and several other cat-minded people (namely Kyou and Ash herself) headed for a large cylinder-shaped structure at the center of the web made up of fine silky looking threads.
"Soft," Jay crooned, stroking a shimmering strand.
"There's so many strings," Ash said, plucking at the threads.
"I'm not sure if we should be touching anything," Kyou said. Despite his words, he reached out to touch the filaments.
Ash bunched several of the threads up until she had something that looked like a bed made out of clouds. She lay down on it and sighed.
"This is like, ten times better than my bed at home, and I love my bed."
Jay was wrapping himself up in the silky strands. "It's so warm," he purred. "And so fluffy!"
The whole Web suddenly lurched causing all conversation to cease.
"Did anyone touch anything?" the Doctor called. "I told you all not to touch anything."
Ash jumped up off her cozy little bed and kicked at it, trying to make it look like the rest of the silky strands again. Kyou moved away from the threads as Jay tried to disentangle himself.
"No you didn't, Doc," Stormy drawled. "You were too busy trying to convince us that the Weaver ain't gonna to eat us."
"Oh. Right. Well, nobody touch anything."
The Web lurched again throwing everyone to the ground.
"It's a little late for that, Doctor," Bastian said, holding a sobbing Anica.
Everyone screamed—or gave a manly yawp—as the Web shook violently again.
A thunderous MEOW filled the air.
Ash's head popped up. "Kagae?"
The MEOW sounded again and an enormous, long-haired black cat with golden eyes came into view, shaking the Web so badly that it seemed the whole structure would fall apart.
"Giant cat, right in my face," the Doctor said.
"We're all gonna die!" Momiji cried, hugging onto Tohru.
"I'm too young to die!" Jay sobbed.
Everyone was talking or crying or screaming, and Ash couldn't make herself heard over the din, so gigantic Kagae kept coming and shaking the Web and then, with a terrible ripping noise, everyone was suddenly falling.
With a jolt, Ash awoke. Kagae—in her correct, small furry size—was curled up on her chest, purring like an outboard motor. With a sigh, Ash sat up on the living room couch and scrubbed her cat's head.
"I had the weirdest dream," she said.
From outside the house came the screeching vworp vworp of the TARDIS's engines and a moment later Jess walked in the front door.
"Oh, hey. You're awake."
Ash nodded at her roomie, then pointed to the window where the last light of the TARDIS was fading. "Dream—?"
"It wasn't a dream. Stormy rescued you from work and the Doctor enlisted you and several of our friends to save the fabric of reality."
"But the Web . . . Kagae . . . "
"Yeah. The Doctor said you were so scared of the possibility of a spider, as were a few other people—*coughTallincough*—that the Weaver manifested as Kagae. She accidentally put a paw through the Web but luckily the Doctor was able to get everyone back to the ship. Unfortunately, he had to sedate you—you wild screaming thing you."
"The Doctor just dropped you off."
"Ah . . . oh . . . 'kay . . . I guess."
Jess smiled. "You saved Reality. Way to go. The Doctor says you should probably stay home from work tomorrow. He even wrote you a note." She held up a piece of paper. "A Doctor's note. Get it?" She giggled and handed Ash the note. "Anyway, I'm feeling better, so I'm getting Chinese for dinner. You wanna come?"
Ash sprang up from the couch, dumping Kagae off her lap with an irritated 'growff'.
As they left, Kagae stuck out her paw and began washing. Neither girl noticed the fine silky strands stuck to the cat's fur, nor the little gleam in her eye as she licked them away.
. . . Or is it?