A.N.: Hellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllo there people! This is Kittywizarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! This is going to be a really short story... And a not so good one either. -_- I apologize if it isn't the best, but I really wanted to post up something!

In case u don't no know Secluded Hermit is, he's a raising YouTuber and has over 3,000 subscribers. He usually likes to do vlogs and talk about how he feels bout certain stuff. He actually pretty interesting and I would like to see grow into something more! :D So go check him out and (if u like him) subscribe.

I also believe this is the first ever Fanfic bout him and I'm not so sure how he'll feel bout it. But still, I very wanted to make something bout him and since I only how to write in stead of drawing... I think u understand.

Also, watch Birdemic if u haven't cauz it shall change u r life 4-ever!

Anyways, Hope u Enjoy

Disclaimer: Hermit's lifestyle reminds a mystery to me and his subscribers. The infamous Birdemic is own by James Nguyen.

Part One: Ass Checks are NOT amused

5:44 PM, Starting the Movie

"So, Hermit, do you know what this movie is about?" asked his cat, Flash, as she finds a spot on the couch.

Hermit, the ½ hermit, ¼ bird, and ¼ ninja cross-breed shook his head, "No, but I have heard it's pretty bad." He in inserted the disc into the movie player and grabbed the remote.

"Oh, I see… Hey, what's it called to again?"

"Birdemic: Shock and Terror," Hermit answered, sitting next to Flash, "It was directed by… Some person covered in ass checks."

The greyish black cat laughed, "Well, don't just stand there," she said impatiently, "Let's start this movie already!"

"Did you guess the popcorn first?"

Flash pulls out a huge, red bowl filled with white and flaking popcorn, "Yep!"

"Alright then," Hermit press the start button once the movie was ready to begin.

5:49 PM, Beginning of Birdemic

Very drowsy music begins to play and a blue car appears. Driving the vehicle was a man who seems to be the male lead. Already, it seemed to be a bad movie because the camera was held very lazily. Dropping up and down as the car moved. The opening credits rolled on…

"This is how Birdemic begins?" Flash yawns.

"I guess so," answered Hermit, "Wonder how long it is?"

The opening took up 2 minutes of the movie before it ends.

5:51 PM, The Waitress's Voice

It takes the protagonist another minute to actually park his car. Then he walks to the restaurant, which took even longer.

Our poor heroes in real life were nearly falling asleep.

Finally, the protagonist goes into the restaurant and the camera switches off to a waitress that was going to take his order.

"HI!" the waitress meant to say quietly. But the audio made it sound like a screech.

Hermit and Flash scream and held on to each other for comfort.

The protagonist showed to his seat and takes it. He and the waitress looked at each other.

"Here is your menu," She told the protagonist, lending him the menu.

"Thanks," he responded. The waitress nods to him.

Long silence.

"I'll be right back." And with that, the waitress leaves the scene."

"Can we both agree that the waitress was the scariest thing ever?" asked Flash, still clawing on Hermit.

Hermit nods his head in agreement.

5:54 PM, The Love Interest

As the protagonist waits for his food, he then sees a beautiful and sexy woman standing by the window. Because she was finished with her meal, she decided to leave the restaurant. Shocked by her beauty, the protagonist chases after her.

"Isn't that stalking?" questions Flash.

"Ha Ha," Hermit laughed, "I think you're right about!"

Once outside, the protagonist taped on the woman's shoulder. "Hey," he said to the woman.

She smiled, "Hi."

Then the protagonist went on and asked her questions. Like 'do you live here' or 'have we met before.

Hermit groaned, "Ugh, just kiss her already!" he yelled at the top of his voice, "Or better yet, ask her if you can touch her nipples!"

His cat began laughing like made. Then she got serious, "Hey, how long has this going on for?"

Hermit looked at the clock behind him. When he first looked at it, it was 5:49 PM. Now it's 5:54. How long is the movie going to be? I thought. Then he realized… This is gonna be the longest movie he and Flash will ever watch….

End of Part 1

Part 2 coming soon

A.N.: Yeah, sry if it was very short. But this is only part one so hold on to your popcorn and get ready cauz it's going to get worse! XD And his cat doesn't talk, it my idea to have her talk because Hermit and Flash are good friends. X3 Again, I hope u enjoyed and the next part shall come soon.

Also, plz check out my other story cauz they are better in some. :/ For now, I'll see Ya'll in my writing!

Kittywizarrr OUT!