Note: I don't own Harry Potter. Unfortunately that idea belongs to J.K. Rowling or else I would a pretty awesome author.

I stared at the body laying in front of me. I could feel my aurors shift uneasily as the green robed Unspeakable shoved away those holding him and ran towards the body. It was the responsibility of the department, the bodies of their men.

"Captain? Captain?" the green Unspeakable cried, sliding to his knees next to the body and pulling it into his arms. He shook it gently and it flopped about. "Please captain! Captain! Cap - Evan! Get up!"

"Evan," I murmured, that name so familiar. That was the name of the Unspeakable last week. From the coffee room. The one I made laugh. I swallowed and nodded to an auror. "Deal with the scene, get the healers in and start clearing the rubble. Start collecting the bodies."

"Sir?" he asked, turning to the green Unspeakable who was hysterically shaking the body of his comrade.

"I'll... I'll deal with the Unspeakables - Unspeakable," I corrected before turning on heel. As I got closer, the shouts became more and more angry than sad.

"Damnit Evan! Get up you lazy ass! On your feet soldier!" He yelled into Evan's face. "You're tougher than this! This isn't the worst! What about that time you were in a coma and you f-ing woke up and said goddamnit why didn't you wake me up for waffle breakfast? Huh? Where is that? Get up!"

"I'm sorry for your lose," I murmured, squatting down next to the Unspeakable. He turned furious eyes to me.

"You don't get to say those words. You didn't stop him from doing this stupid-" He began.

"I'm not dead yet, but I will be if you don't let me breath, mate," was whispered into the night.

We both snapped our heads to regard the body and were astounded to see a mouth smiling at them sardonically. The fingers of the hand that happened to be laying on the green Unspeakable's legs tapped slowly to get their attention.

"Merlin, how are you still alive?" hissed the green Unspeakable.

"Remember my bottlecap spider?" asked Evan.

"You mean you're failure of a first attempt at transfiguration and animation?" asked the green Unspeakable, a grin on his lips. The grin faded when Evan slowly shifted his shoulder, causing his cloak to fall open a bit. It revealed a spider transfigured from bottle caps laying dead on his chest. "Then you really did plan to die. You're not alive because of an elaborate plan, but sheer dumb luck!"

"Does it matter, as long as I'm alive?" Evan retorted, a weak grin on his lips. "I expect you to keep your silence, Auror? If the death munchers and snake face find out I'm still alive and they spared a group of civilians, I'm sure you understand the consequences. Better to keep your silence."

"Of course," I murmured. "Thank-"

"Don't bother," Evan interrupted, "Just get me out of here, mate."

"The department of the man down will handle the body," the green Unspeakable turned to me, his eyes sharp. "There's no need for the Auror's Department to play any part in the contacting of family and such. We'll deal with it."

"Of course, I under-" before I finished, the two had already apparatated away.