Rory sat in her Wizard Economics class, absently taking notes while a few of the Gringotts goblins explained Wizarding taxes and how it is somehow integral to the Muggle economy.

The whole school was abuzz about her antics the other day, most of what was going around were rumors about how she was high off of a few of the things the Joker had left in Wayne tower. Another rumor going around was that she had sex with Voldemort and it made her insane. She had gotten a few glares from the weird kids in his fanclub as well as almost killed by Bellatrix Lestrange when she was showering.

It was a weird week for Rory.

Rory ignored most of it, tuning the comments out with 'Hollaback Girl' and playing the music video in her head. She had most of it memorized by now.

Class had finally ended, and Rory saw that most of her notes were doodles of bananas saying cuss words. She figured maybe Freud would have a helluva time with it.

Out in the hallway, Rory could see Boromir coming down from the direction of Gryffindor tower. He saw her and looked away, Rory turned away and raced out of the building so she could get to her next class at the Opera House, she was sure that the Phantom was going to make them watch the Gerard Butler film and critique everything about it.

Before she got on her broom, she noticed Boromir slip out of Hogwarts as well, heading to the "secret underground professors building". Rory wasn't sure if it had a name. She sighed and flew off for the Paris Opera House.

She met up with Cassie inside.

"Are you feeling better?" Cassie asked.

"Much," Rory said, "Michal brought me more dwarven biscuits and it seemed to help the headaches."

"Good, I was starting to think you were turning into a Skeksi."

"So I've been told."

They both sat down in the back row, the Professor was more likely to pick the kids in the middle, of course which was filled by his adoring students that started to cry when he walked in. He just held his arms up and drank in the attention.

"Where's Michal?" Rory asked.

"I saw her on the way to the professors underground building, I think Glorfindel was grabbing her butt."

"Nice." Rory chuckled, then she added, "How much do you want to bet that today it's Gerard Butler?"

"I'm thinking Patrick Wilson, he seems in that mood today."

"And now!" Professor Erik sang out, "We will watch my movie, and we will write bitchy notes about how much Patrick Wilson can choke on a large purple dick."

"Damn." Rory sighed, "What do you want?"

"I heard you know Wormtail. And he's got some pretty choice pictures of Legolas shirtless and practicing archery."

"That's disgusting."

"So is Patrick Wilson." Cassie said as Erik came around.

"An astute observation, Cassie." Erik grinned.

"Thank you Professor, you're looking extra French and fabulous today."

"Oh wait, that's the same thing." Rory added.

"Why thank you," Erik said, "I did get my suit tailored. Perhaps knowing Bruce Wayne does have advantages."

"Classy as Hell." Cassie said.

"Unlike that Patrick Wilson." Rory chimed in.

Erik grinned, "I think you two are doing very well on the oral part of the exams." Then he added, "But you didn't hear that from me."

Erik walked away as giddy as could be.

"Poor guy." Cassie said.

"It's not easy being the Phantom." Rory said.

"At least he's the easiest final exam. I still need to brush up on riddles before Thursday for Bilbo's Riddlers Exam." Cassie said.

"I have my notes from last semester if you need them."


Professor Erik looked over at them. Both Rory and Cassie put their thumbs down and shook their heads disapprovingly as they mouthed mean things about the movie. Professor Erik smiled and wrote something on his clipboard.

"Easy." Cassie said as she gave Rory a high-five.

"I almost feel bad though," Rory said, "I think I'll give him an essay on Patrick Wilson to make his day."

"You're so charitable, Rory."

"It's a gift." Rory chuckled.

They remained quiet (save a few negative gestures and boos when Patrick Wilson came on screen to try and get Christine from her room) until about the part that Gerard Butler has his roof solo, in which the Phantom had gone on multiple tangents about.

"Hey, Cass. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, I'm just finishing this doodle of Patrick Wilson. You can talk while I do." Cassie drew bulbous blemishes on her portrait.

"Well," Rory hesitated, "Say you were really into someone. But you did something to fuck that up. What would you do?"

"Are you talking about you smooching Professor Boromir?" Cassie concentrated on giving her drawing some old age lines.

"I...wait. Did Michal...forget it." Rory pushed it aside,

"Just. What would you do?"

"Rory, I'm not the person who cocks up and kisses a teacher. I may try...God do I try…" She lost herself for a moment before shaking her head, "But that's not the point. Think of it this way, you'll probably never see him again after this. Why start something you can't undo? Unless you plan on being here forever, and I don't think you do. Or at least you don't know what you want. And my God, is he wearing that shirt with those shoes? Oh Patrick."

They waited for Erik to go back around before talking again.

"So you think I should just suck it up?" Rory asked.

"Melkor's nipples, Rory," Cassie said, drawing a penis tattoo on her Patrick Wilson, "Shit or get off the pot."

Rory sat back, thinking to herself for a bit before going back to writing her hate essay.

The rest of the exam was uneventful, save for one brave soul saying, "Patrick Wilson was great in 'Insidious'."

Needless to say, orc security was summoned when the student ended up "falling" through a trapdoor that led down into the watery pit that the Phantom Professor was so proud of. They got there before the spikes enclosed on the student, but the worst part was the large F that Erik gave the student.

"For all the FUCKS I give about Patrick Wilson!" Erik screamed as the orcs wheeled the student away.

When he turned back around, Rory and Cassie started a slow clap that led into an auditorium-wide standing ovation for the Professor. Everyone was shouting cheers for him, booing Patrick Wilson. The Phantom raised his arms, drinking in the praise, a small tear falling down under his mask.

When the exams for the day officially ended, Rory and Cassie gave the Phantom their presents.

"I will hang these up on my wall!" He exclaimed, "Golden frames, a red rope in front of them...NO! Red curtains, and spotlights!"

"For the only version of the Phantom we'll ever accept." Cassie said.

"It's been weird." Rory added and she and Cassie left the Phantom dramatically crying over his gifts.

"I feel good." Cassie said, "I think I'm gonna go get a drink, celebrate before I die tomorrow."

"Good," Rory said, "Maybe after we have Sauron's exam we can head over to the Hollow?" She suggested.

"And you can give me that picture of Legolas." Cassie gave Rory some jazzy finger guns.

"You really want it?" Rory asked, scrunching her face.

"Girls gotta celebrate at night with something."

"Jeez." Rory said disgustedly, "What are you gonna do when we leave?" She asked.

"Well I don't even know if I'm graduating," Cassie said, "But if I did, I think I'd miss it here."


"Because, Rory, look at this place." Cassie said, "Tell me you don't think this is amazing. That forces of imagination created this ridiculousness. It's fantastic!"

"I guess…" Rory looked around the large campus, "It's also pretty grueling."

"So? Enjoy the classes, make do, but also enjoy just being here."

"I haven't had the same experiences as you have, Cassie."

"Yeah, whatever." Cassie scoffed, "You're so negative."

They stopped walking, ending back up near Hogwarts so Cassie could walk down to The Three Broomsticks.

"I'm gonna go get a Butterbeer," Cassie said, "Maybe you should work on appreciating the things around here more. Everyone knows you're probably the only one graduating, don't take this place for granted, Rory. You'll miss it." She walked away.

Rory held her books close to her chest, contemplating what Cassie had just said to her. She started to walk away when she saw Peter Pettigrew conversing with Grima. They seemed to be haggling over something. Rory sighed, then went over to them.

"Wormtail!" Rory called.

Grima's eyes went wide and he ran for the Forbidden Forest. Wormtail started to turn, but Rory grabbed his collar and turned him around.

"I swear I burned them!" He cowered.

"I'm just looking to buy a picture...for a friend." Rory felt the heat rise into her cheeks.

"Really?" Peter asked, "Well...what picture?"

"The one of Legolas..." Rory said as Wormtail pulled it out of his very large binder, "She said he was training..."

"Oh, that one?" Pettigrew thought, "I left that one back at my studio."

"Studio?" Rory asked.

"Yeah," Wormtail said, "Word got around and now everyone seems to be wanting it. The original that is. Some few are satisfied with copies, but now the elf found out and didn't go very well at the staff meeting."

"I suppose it wouldn't." Rory said.

Wormtail perked up, "I could get it for you though. Assuming you still want it."

"You would do that?"

"Of course!" Pettigrew said, walking with Rory to the enchanted entrance of the secret underground teachers quarters, "Your date with my Master went so well, he hasn't been in such a bad mood as to make me rub his feet with coconut oil and lavender."

"He makes you do that?"

"Oh yes, every night. He has such glorious feet." Pettigrew lamented.

"And he thinks the…" Rory swallowed her vomit,

"Date...Went well?"

"Indeed he did. He thinks it might have gone as well as to warrant a second one?" Peter inquired.

"For your sake, Peter, I think it's best not to ever ask that again. In this life or the next. Not any." Rory said.

"I figured as much. I bought new oils anyway and I've been wanting to use them. Lestrange has been trying to convince me to let her do it, but she never rubs the heel right…"

"Focus, please." Rory felt close to throwing up again.

They reached the hidden elvish Doors of Durin, Pettigrew whispered a passcode to which Rory assumed might have been 'mellon'. The doors creaked open and they stepped through.

Rory had been led through the door, descending into the earth by torchlight. She had never been into the Dwarrowdelf styled entrance, and she stood in awe of the splendor. Pettigrew seemed indifferent, and continued on his way.

"Cassie would kill me." Rory said, admiring the never ending columns, goblin free...for the most part.

"Technically you shouldn't be in here, but what the hey." Pettigrew said, leading her to a side path that opened up into a monstrosity of a library which was essentially modeled after the library at Sunnydale High.

"I didn't know there were Buffy characters here." Rory said.

"There aren't." Pettigrew said, "We had a bit of a crisis since the vampires wouldn't take the training courses with the orcs as to behavior on campus. This was built before the contract was voided."

"Fascinating." Rory said.

Wormtail let her into a single white room with different carved wardrobes lined along each of the walls. Peter muttered to himself, going to the cherry wood wardrobe, carved with drama masks and all sorts of creatures wearing togas dancing in hearty revelry. He opened it up, Rory only seeing the darkness of the void.

"Come in." Pettigrew beckoned.

Rory hesitantly stepped into the wardrobe, coming into a Theatre. She could see Erik crying over his gifts still, showing them off to an unhappy Uruk janitor.

"This is the Opera House." She said.

"How else do you think we get around?" Peter asked, leading Rory backstage.

"I assumed like the rest...but that would mean…"

"It would mean the pretty ones get mobbed." Pettigrew said as Rory followed him into a dark room that he unlocked, "We use the wardrobes to keep the elves from getting torn apart on their way to classes."

"Gotcha." Rory said, her eyes adjusting to the red lights of the dark room.

Peter walked over to a filing cabinet and pulled out a very large 10 inch binder labeled 'L201'.

"I get a lot of pictures of the elf." Peter explained, flipping to the middle, "Here." He pulled out a picture.

"Thanks…" Rory took the picture between her forefinger and thumb, noticing now that Legolas' pants had fallen down so that one could see the top of his buttcheeks, "Oh God…"

"Almost got shot because of that one." Wormtail said, "But that's the business."

"Right." Rory held the picture away from her, "How much?"

Pettigrew shrugged, "Just don't tell anyone about the wardrobes, and that I showed you, and we'll be even."

"Really?" Rory looked at him, "You know you're a very underrated character."

Pettigrew waved her off, "I'll take you back to the wardrobes, you can get to Lothlorien from there without walking all that way."

Rory started to ask how he knew where she was rooming, but she knew better, remembering he did at one point take a few snaps of her with the Mouth.

Wormtail walked with her back through the portal and into the wardrobes room.

"Thank you again, Peter." Rory said, bending down to hug him.

She heard a snip.

"Are you serious?" Rory backed away, seeing an inch of her hair missing from her ponytail.

Pettigrew ran off, Rory chased after him back through the Sunnydale High library and out into Dwarrowdelf. In the darkness, Peter disappeared.

"Damnit." Rory said angrily, almost crumpling the picture in her fist, but remembered it was for Cassie, "Son of a fucking bitch…" She muttered.


Rory froze.

"Oh no." She felt her stomach drop, turning around to see Boromir.

He wasn't dressed in his usual canon attire, instead wearing a dark blue embroidered velvet tunic, dark trousers, and his usual black boots.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, trying to see what she was holding.

Rory hid the picture behind her, her face turning as white as Grima, "Hair." Was all she said.

"Your hair?"

Rory nodded, "Bye." She tried moving past him.

"How did you get in?" Boromir stopped her.

Rory sighed, "I was just here to get something for a friend, and now I'm leaving."

"Rory, just stop." Boromir said, "I need to talk to you anyway…"

"We have nothing to say to each other; that much I'm sure of. I'd really just like to pretend I was never here. Sweet and simple."

"Alright, if you're going to be stubborn about it. At least let me take you home."

"I'll walk."

"You probably don't want to go that way," Boromir said, "Classes are officially over for the day so a lot of the students crowd around the door. The orcs like it when they try to push through because then they can use tasers."

"Shit…" Rory muttered to herself.

"I'll take you the back way." Boromir said, leading her back to the wardrobes.

Rory started to cackle, "Anal is a little forward I think."

"What...OH! Oh my…"

"I'm sorry." Rory's face went red she was trying to pull her bangs down over her whole face as if it would have magically lengthened for her to hide, "I still have the mentality from spending an exam with Cassie. I'm a horrible person."

"I don't really know how to answer that so I'm just going to open the Lothlorien wardrobe." Boromir laughed, opening a silvery golden door adorned in carved elves and tall flowering trees.

Rory stepped through first, now used to the stomach fluttering feeling as she entered through a hidden door that had been put high up into a mallorn tree. She instantly recognized that she was on a flet that led down into the main common area where the students who lived in Lorien would post about upcoming events or if they had problems with their rooms.

Boromir came up behind her just as she got down on her stomach to see if there was anyone down there. They both saw an oncoming slew of students returning to Lothlorien to change outfits to either go to local clubs or to stay in for a night of intense studying.

A few crying students sat on one of the lounges, Rory couldn't make out what they were blubbering about, but she assumed exams didn't go very well.

"You can go back now." Rory said to Boromir, noticing he was now next to her, "I'll just climb down when they leave.

"I would like to make sure you get to your room safely."

"What the Hell is coming for me that you feel obligated to keep me safe from? Is it a raging teenager confused from the hormones? Or maybe a middle aged woman who writes disgusting smut-filled fanfiction that is littered with contracts for unsafe sex acts?"

"She flunked and you know it..." Boromir said.

They watched the students leave the common area, slowly moving to the rope ladder to climb down. Rory waited until she was all the way down to talk again.

"I can take it from here." She said, hiding the picture as she walked past the commons and up a spiral staircase to get to where her room was.

Boromir followed after her, "Can I please just talk to you?" He asked, "You keep avoiding me, and I know I've done the same to you and that's unfair, because I really think we need to get this out…"

"What is the point?" Rory interrupted, fumbling with her keys to open her door, "Are you just trying to get time with me so I can apologize for what happened that one night? Okay. Yeah I'm sorry, I was so drunk and it was stupid. I didn't really mean it. Is that what you want me to say? Well, I am really sorry that you had to see me like that and that I came on to you..." She went into her room.

"Rory, stop being so stubborn for one second and let me say what I need to say." Boromir closed the door behind him. He looked around, "Where's Linus?"

"He went back to the Hollow." Rory told him, "He said he was tired of hearing me talk in my sleep. Which is stupid...I don't talk in my sleep…"


"What?" Rory snapped.

"I know." Boromir said.

"Know what?"

"I know you found out about the bet." Boromir said, "I came here trying to apologize and come clean to you, but Linus said to stay away…"

"You son of a bitch." Rory's voice broke, "Why did you wait to tell me? Why not when we were at the Hollow? Or when we were in the Library? Or when we took those walks around Black Lake? Why?"

"Because that was before. Please, Rory..." Boromir pleaded.

"Oh fucking...before what?" Rory yelled, "Before you decided to get close and really fuck with me?"

"Before I fell in love with you."

Rory dropped all of her books, the picture as well, thankful that it landed face down.


"I love you."

Rory shook her head, "You can't say that."


"Because you can't." Rory said, "You can't come to me just before graduation, after six months of being in this fucking school. After I've been tormented by everyone here because of some stupid and sick joke you were a part of…"

"I never wanted part of it, Rory."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not. Why do you think I kept pulling you away out of weird situations with other professors? At first I thought I was just trying to keep them from you because they're idiots. I sat with them and figured out their plans so I could make sure you weren't there. And then...then I got to know you. They think you're just some student who can be easily manipulated given time, but you're not."

"Stop." Rory said.

"I need you to know the truth." Boromir frowned.

"Well the truth sucks. I hate the truth. Lie to me. Please. Tell me you think it's stupid that I get all this attention, that I'm too much like the character from a really bad story and I should leave before it gets worse."

"I'm not going to."

"Christ, I really wish you wouldn't say those things to me." Rory said.


"Because I'm so stupidly in love with you too that I can't take it." Rory admitted.

"Really?" Boromir asked in disbelief.

"Yes." Rory said, almost angrily.

"Good." Boromir said.

"I guess." Rory threw her arms up.

"Well," Boromir said after a long silence, "What do we do now?"

"Boromir, if you don't kiss me soon, I'll punch you in the face I swear to god." Rory said.

Boromir grabbed her, holding her face up so that he could kiss her. Rory stood up on her toes to reach him. When they pulled away, there was a moment of silence, both of them stunned by what they just had done.

Rory jumped on him, wrapping her legs around his waist. Boromir sat on her bed, Rory's tongue in his mouth. His hands went up her shirt, touching the soft skin of her bare back. Rory tossed her sweater to the floor, Boromir pushed her onto her back, kissing from her collarbone down to her black bra. He moved away, standing up to take his clothes off. Rory took the opportunity to throw her bra to the floor. She was halfway through struggling to take her jeans off when Boromir pounced back onto her. One hand on the bed and the other one grabbing her butt.

His hand slipped off the edge of the bed and he started to fall, taking Rory with him. He landed on his back with a loud thud. Rory let out a yelp as she landed on his chest.

After the initial shock, Rory started to giggle. She set her head on Boromir's chest, moving slightly to kiss his neck, then back up to his lips. Boromir grabbed her hips, his fingers pressing into the soft flesh.

Rory giggled as she pulled the blanket from her bed.