Dear Kenny,

Today was a good day. It's too bad that you couldn't be here. I woke up and my mom made donut pancakes! Then, I went to the bus stop, and Kyle was standing there, so I decided to make fun of him! So fun. I even got to make him cry :D!

Then, Stan came along and ruined all the fun. I AM NOT FAT I AM BIG-BONED GODDAMN IT. Today was kind of like any other day, except you weren't there. Butters was pissed off today, and none of us knew why, so I guessed that he was on his period! Hahaha!

Well, at recess, I sat on the ground with Stan and Jew, and it was boring. At least you livened up the conversation. I mean like, why couldn't Kyle die? Nobody would miss him. I wish that you could've lived, but I also like Shakey's Pizza.

Seriously though, why you? Really, God honestly should've taken Kyle, he sucks. A lot. Then, we would've gone to the hospital and made fun of him! Stan probably wouldn't join in because he is stupidly friends with Jew, but you and me would've made fun of him!

Damn Kenny, I can't believe you're dead. Seriously, it sucks.

Your BIG-BONED friend,


A/N: This was the last and shortest letter, because it's Cartman. What would you expect? See you later with another fic!