Just a short OS that I rattled off in about half an hour.

Sorry if Feli seems a bit ooc, but this was too fun to pass! It's only rated T because of the insults and swearing, but otherwise is entirely clean.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, Feli or Ludwig. Mary is mine though.


She was a sweet girl.

She had a charming personality

A pretty, single woman was sitting there talking amicably with red curls falling over her shoulders and a smile that made dimples appear in her freckled cheeks. Her name was Mary, a wholesome Christian name, and if the cross hanging around her neck was any indication, then she followed the faith.

Feliciano had no reason not to like her.

But he still didn't.

He knew his smile was plastic. And Ludwig sitting beside him had picked up on it. But Mary hadn't. She was still sitting there, chatting away and batting her long eyelashes.

He knew he was the one that had invited her to sit with them because he thought she'd looked lonely sitting there all by herself and it was horrible for any young lady to be sitting alone. It would be downright rude to tell her to go away now that she was getting on his nerves and he just wanted to walk away. So he had to grin and bear it.

And maybe he could find a more discrete way to dismiss her...

Ludwig took his hand under the table and gave it a firm squeeze, clearly trying to distract him from his thoughts of her demise. He squeezed back, forcing himself to laugh at a joke with that stupid smile plastered over his face.

"Oh, Ludwig, dear." Shut up. "You're German, aren't you?" No, really. Shut up. "You just have to come with me to this delightful restaurant I found the other day." Oh, Girl, you did not just ask him on a date. "It has the reputation for the best sausages in the city." You're pulling that trick? Really? "I've just been dying to taste them." I'm sure you have… "I like sausages, don't you?" I'm sure you do like sausages… Whore!

"Ludwig doesn't really like them that much. Right?" He glanced up at Ludwig, daring the blonde to disagree.


"Oh, what a shame…" Stop...twirling your hair like that."I'm sure there are other things on the menu." Of course there fucking is…

"We're actually going away with a group of friends this weeken-"

"It doesn't have to be this weekend if you're busy." Don't cut me off. Just… don't. "Give me a call when you're free." You did not just put your hand on his arm. You did not just touch my man, bitch!

"Well, he can't."

"Oh, why not?"

"Because he's…" Uh... uh... excuse... excuse... "Oh! Oh, look! There's Francis! Francis!" He may or may not have bumped the table as he'd stood quickly. And he may not have accidentally on purpose knocked her elbow so she spilled hot coffee in her lap. And he may not have been entirely sincere when he said "Oh, I'm so sorry!"

"You blithering idiot! This was my best skirt!"

"Hey…!" Good, God, girl. Don't shout.

"I'm sending you the dry cleaning bill, you clumsy oaf!"

"Excuse me." She turned to look at him as Ludwig stood. All muscle-bound six-foot-two of him towering over the pair of them as he pushed himself up to his full height. "Feliciano may be slightly ditzy at times and he may be a klutz…" Yeah, Ludwig, I may love you, but don't push it…"But he's still my boyfriend."

And when Ludwig wrapped an arm around him and kissed him like that, he couldn't help but smile as he caught sight of the girl's face out of the corner of his eye. He chuckled as Ludwig pulled back after breaking his own 'No PDA' rule.

"I'll… be going, shall I?"

"I would."

She nodded and shakily walked away, tottering on her stilettos. Feliciano couldn't help but call after her "Ciao, Bella!" as he sat down and leant against the other man.

He always liked getting the last word…

What can I say?

Bitchy Italy is bitchy...

Ciao, Bella/Bello!