Red Eyes, Red Blood and Pink Brain Matter

Summary: On the day the genin teams were assigned, something seemed off about Sakura. Unfortunately for him, Sasuke didn't notice until too late.


1. Team 7

SasuYuno. This pairing is so weird and creepy. Why not write a fanfic about it?

Pairings: Technically, none. Just very one-sided SasuYuno.

Disclaimer: Blah blah, nothing belongs to me except this fanfic. Even the title picture doesn't belong to me, since I found it on zerochan . net

Sasuke had always been the type of individual to arrive early. Not ridiculously so, but early enough for him to observe and assess his surroundings to his liking. He always did like being prepared, and being as many steps ahead of any situation as he possibly could.

When he arrived in the classroom on the morning the genin teams were assigned, there were only five people present. Scanning the classroom, he noticed offhandedly that Haruno Sakura, one of his more prominent fan girls, was already seated in one of the front rows. He inwardly sighed in relief when she didn't immediately turn around and breach his personal space. In fact, she seemed occupied, and from the angle of the seat he took, it looked like she was writing down on a small notebook.

Well good, because at least he'll get to have some peace and quiet- a perfect opportunity to let his mind wander.

Sasuke had a vague idea of how the teams were put together; from the looks of it, the arrangements seemed mostly random, but he did know that traditionally, the Rookie of the Year was to be on the same team as the Dead Last, with the third member having their name drawn from a hat or something. And since he had graduated as the Rookie of the Year, he would've guessed that he would be put on the same team as Uzumaki Naruto, that annoying loudmouth who didn't even seem to take the idea of being a ninja seriously. But then, since the blonde didn't graduate...

Sasuke noticed that the classroom was fuller than before; nearly all the present graduates were chatting with each other, and he overheard bits of different conversations.

"Hey! You think that we'll get to be in the same team?" a boy's voice asked excitedly.

"I dunno, I really hope so. I mean, they should put us together with people we get along with, right? Won't we work better as a team that way?" his friend answered in a softer tone.

"But aren't the teams based on our abilities?" asked a girl.

"Well yeah, but it can be this and that too. By the way, haven't you seen all the previous teams? They're all two guys one girl!" the first voice exclaimed.

"Huh. It's just like they're asking for there to be a love triangle."

Of course everyone, including him, was curious about the teams. After all, they were going to be people they had to work with at least until they get promoted to chuunin.

"Oi, Naruto! What are you doing here? I thought this class was only for those who graduated."

"Hey, hey! Can't you see this forehead protector?"

Well, isn't this interesting. Sasuke could have sworn that the idiot had failed the test. But now they're definitely going to be stuck on the same team together. Brilliant. So much for not having dead weights to drag him down. Was it really that much to ask for?

"Hey Forehead! What's with the change of hairstyle? I don't think I've ever seen you in pigtails before."

Sasuke recognised that voice as Yamanaka Ino's, a girl who happened to be yet another one of his prominent fan girls.

"Huh... really? Does it look weird?"

"Well... no. Just different. It'll take some getting used to, I suppose, but-"

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto called, bounding towards the girl. He ignored the scathing look that Ino directed at him for interrupting her, focusing only on Sakura.

"You look even cuter today!" Was his enthusiastic greeting. Sasuke couldn't really see how Sakura reacted to that, but he was guessing that she must have smiled or something, if the blush on Naruto's face was anything to go by.

"Thank you, Naruto-san," Sakura replied politely.

"A-ah, no problem..."

It wasn't as if Sasuke really paid attention to how those two interacted, but it wasn't that hard to know, especially since they sometimes didn't even seem to know what an indoor voice was. Usually, Naruto would just be his usual loud and annoying self, and Sakura, with her short temper, would end up having a shouting match with him. This obviously wasn't the case that morning, so it just sort of stood out. But anyway...

Sasuke snapped himself out of his thoughts when Iruka walked into the classroom. He did a quick explanation on the duties of a shinobi, then began reading the teams out. After lots of moaning, groaning and cheering, he finally read up to Team 7.

"Okay... next is Team 7. Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke. And..."

Naruto immediately objected, saying 'What? Why him?!', but Iruka paid no notice and continued on reading out the names of Team 8. Sasuke wasn't too happy with the arrangement either; it was just his rotten luck that he got placed in the same team as the dead last and a fan girl who probably spent more time fawning over boys than training. Oh, he could already tell that they were going to get along just fine.

"Well why don't we introduce ourselves- how about our likes, dislikes, dreams for the future and things like that," Kakashi suggested.

"Hey, why don't you introduce yourself to us first?" Naruto all but demanded.

"Yeah, just to give us an example," agreed Sakura.

Sasuke wasn't particularly impressed by their jounin sensei. First of all, the man was two freaking hours late. That alone had already pissed him off to no end, though he was much better at hiding it than Naruto. And then the supposed jounin had somehow managed to fall for a prank that even civilians can manage to avoid. What the hell.

"- let's start on the right."

"Yosh!" Naruto exclaimed. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto. I like cup ramen, and what I like even more is when Iruka-sensei pays for my ramen. What I dislike is waiting three minutes for the ramen to cook..."

'...and your dream is to become a ramen chef,' Sasuke finished sardonically in his head. 'Hooray for you.'

"...and my dream is to become Hokage, and then have everyone in this village acknowledge my existence! And hobbies... pranks I guess," Naruto finished.

Kakashi looked at the blond for a moment, before saying, "Next."

Sasuke sighed and began.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. There are lots of things I dislike and I don't really like anything." More like he just wasn't bothered to tell them the specifics. "And it's not exactly a dream- more of an ambition. It's the resurrection of the clan..." Though it had a really slim chance of happening. "...and to kill a certain man." Which was top priority.

"Okay..." Kakashi said, eyeing Sasuke warily. "And lastly, the girl."

Sakura smiled and began her introduction.

"My name is Haruno Sakura, though I'd prefer it if you called me Yuno."

"Wait," Naruto interrupted. "But no one ever calls you Yuno!"

"Oh, it's... my parent's special nickname for me. Not everyone gets to call me that," she quickly explained. "And well, I like the colour red- and also this person who is special to me." A small hint of a blush appeared on her cheeks at this. "And my dream for the future is to become the bride of that special person. My hobbies are reading and writing... and what I dislike..." Her expression immediately darkened at this. "Is having a rival."

There seemed to be something rather ominous about the way she said that last part, but it was quickly handwaved by the other three, and Kakashi told them that they had a survival training lesson tomorrow. After their jounin sensei left with a 'Don't be late!' and disappeared, Sasuke inwardly scoffed and shoved his hands into his pockets, heading back to his home.

He did not notice a pair of green eyes following him, watching his every move.

"Come here and fight me!"

'What even...' Sasuke fought the urge to facepalm as he watched his idiot of a team-mate stand a few metres in front of Kakashi, brimming with arrogant confidence. He watched their exchange right up until the part where Naruto got ticked off by getting ignored in favour of an erotic novel, when he heard some leaves rustle behind him. Sasuke instinctively grabbed a kunai from his pouch and whirled around to face the intruder.


To Sasuke's slight disappointment, Sakura- no- Yuno hadn't even flinched when he almost attacked her. Geez, what does she want?

"Sasuke-kun," she repeated, "I have a plan for us to each get a bell."

'Che. You'll just get in the way,' Sasuke thought. On the outside he just "Hn'ed" and ignored her, like he had done many times back in the Academy. Maybe her confidence will wilt and then she'll leave him alone.

But unfortunately for him, she interpreted his wordless grunt as a sign to continue, so she remained.

"We'll use Naruto-" She pointed a finger towards the one-sided fight below them. "-as a bait or distraction, and then we attack while our sensei's occupied. You'll confront him in direct combat, because you're the better fighter. I'll join in the fight as well, and after you've sent some big and flashy distraction towards him, I'll snatch the bells for us."

Despite being annoyed at her company, Sasuke found himself considering her plan.

"You haven't really put much thought into Naruto's role," he finally said. "What if he pulls off something that ruins the plan?" 'He is pretty unpredictable sometimes.'


They both looked just in time to see Naruto literally flying towards the river, clutching his ass. Meanwhile, Kakashi was half-reading his book and half-watching his student dive head-first into the water.

...What just happened.

"I hope he doesn't drown," Yuno murmured, furrowing her brows. "Sensei will just deflect our attacks if we don't have the element of surprise."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at this, but didn't say anything.

"So..." Yuno refocused her attention on the boy next to her. "He can pull off anything he wants, as long as it distracts our sensei enough for us to attack him and get the bells."

Sasuke remained silent, watching as Naruto, still underwater, threw two shuriken at Kakashi, who caught them easily.

"Please, Sasuke-kun? I promise that I'll get us the bells," Yuno begged, looking at him with pleading eyes.

Sasuke immediately regretted not outright discouraging her company when she had first approached him. But since it did sound like a reasonable plan that might actually work...


Yuno's eyes widened, then she blushed and smiled shyly at him.

"Thank you," she said quietly as she turned to watch Naruto resurface and argue with Kakashi.

Great. In fan girl language, he might as well have just proposed to her, or something equally ridiculous.

'Just this once,' Sasuke told himself, intently watching Naruto and Kakashi. His eyes widened when he saw eight more Narutos resurface from the river.

'What jutsu is that...?'

Next to him, Yuno tensed.

"Those aren't illusions..." she whispered, narrowing her eyes.

Suddenly, a Naruto appeared out of nowhere and grabbed Kakashi from behind. Two more Narutos dove down to grab the man's feet while another one yelled at him.


The following fight that ensued was a rather new experience for Sasuke. For one, just like everyone from the Academy, the only fighting experience he'd ever had outside of his daily training sessions was the occasional one-on-one spar against a fellow classmate. Who, more often than not, in his opinion, sucked. But all in all, he had never fought with another before, so this whole 'working together' thing with Sa-Yuno- well… he'll stick with her plan and see what happens. If it doesn't work, then he'll just go back to doing his own thing, just like how he'd planned to from the start.

But maybe that wasn't necessary, since Yuno's plan actually seemed to be working so far. Kakashi, who obviously wasn't going to let himself continue being trapped by the Narutos, used the Kawarimi and replaced himself with a Naruto clone. However, the jounin had essentially just teleported himself closer to his other two students, something that Sasuke took advantage of. The two of them engaged in a taijutsu fight (in which Sasuke felt like kicking himself afterwards because he had actually managed to touch the goddamn bells) and, true to her word, Yuno joined the fight at a time when she thought Kakashi wouldn't notice her.

And it turned out that Yuno was a competent fighter, which was surprising, because as far as Sasuke was concerned, the only skill she possessed (and was better than him at) was her scholastic aptitude. Seriously, since when was she so skilled in kenjutsu?

"I can't trust Academy Reports now, can I," Kakashi stated, his expression almost deadpan. It wasn't unusual for a few students to take the lesson of 'using stealth' and 'blending in' to heart, to the point they hide their abilities from their Academy instructors. This sort of thing happened every year, and sometimes it even turned out that it was the parents who had instructed their children to dumb themselves down. Hell, he had even managed to get- and fail- some of those particular students.

But what actually managed to surprise Kakashi was the possibility that these three were already –sort of- working together. Did they figure out the true purpose of the test already?

And when Sasuke sent a Katon jutsu hurling towards him while he was preoccupied with avoiding the blows of Yuno's katana, Kakashi wrote a quick mental note telling himself that yes, amazingly enough, they probably did.

After the smoke from the attack cleared, Sasuke quickly noticed that Kakashi had seemingly vanished into thin air and instinctively tensed, waiting for any counterattack. From the corner of his eye, he could see Yuno doing the same. A quick passing thought noted that Naruto and his clones have also vanished somewhere- although that was something he didn't care about right now.

Sasuke wasn't sure how much time had passed until Kakashi had returned just as unnoticeably as he had disappeared, by suddenly popping up in Sasuke's peripheral vision while he was scanning his surroundings for the nth time. And, to the Uchiha's surprise, he was standing next to Naruto, who was gagged and tied to a tree.

"Pretend that this is a real life situation, and that I am an enemy ninja," Kakashi began once both Sasuke and Yuno noticed his presence. He whipped out a kunai and held it in a threatening manner (but a safe distance) at Naruto. The boy's eyes widened, but otherwise didn't make any move.

"What if I told you 'Make any move to get the bells, and I'll kill Naruto'?" Kakashi continued, his eyes trained on Sasuke and Yuno, waiting for their reactions. He knew that he was being a bit too blunt, but he wanted to test their character.

Yuno's apathetic expression and tightened grip on the hilt of her katana didn't go unnoticed to Kakashi, but unexpectedly, Sasuke reacted first.

"Would you let him go if I forfeited my chance to get a bell?" he said, surprising even himself. "In this hypothetical situation" he quickly added, because as if he would actually do that for his team-mate. Either of them.

Nevertheless, Kakashi is understandably surprised at the display of seemingly out-of-character behaviour, but after a few thought processes, he wondered if it's because Sasuke didn't want to see anyone else die in front of him. Maybe it's a trait of someone who has witnessed the death of loved ones… or maybe a virtue that Uchihas subconsciously possess…


Kakashi turned off the alarm clock and slid his kunai back into his pouch. Then, he surprised both Sasuke and Yuno by dispelling 'Naruto' in a cloud of smoke and letting the ropes simply fall onto the grass.

"What-" Yuno began to protest, but was cut off by Kakashi.

"That was just my shadow clone under henge," he dismissively explained. "Let's go back to the tree stumps to have lunch."

As they all walked in silence, Yuno found herself questioning the purpose of the bell test.

'Something is off...he knows that we're outmatched by him, so he's trying to get us to work together.' Yuno frowned at Kakashi's back as if the answer was written there. 'But he didn't pass Sasuke and I…what is he trying to do?'

Arriving at the tree stumps led to two sceptical genin when they found Naruto tied to the middle stump.


"… Is this the real one?" Sasuke finally asked after an awkward moment of staring at the blond in disbelief.

They ignored Naruto's "Whaddaya mean by that, bastard?!" and Kakashi's eye's closed into what could only be interpreted as part of a smile when he replied "Yes, of course it is. Now have your lunch, but don't give any to Naruto. That is an order."

"WHAT?!' Naruto yelled. 'That's… fine! Who needs food anyways?"

"I'll give you guys another chance, but after lunch, the bell test will be even harder." With that, Kakashi left.

Meanwhile, Yuno waited until she could no longer sense his presence before drawing out her katana and swinging it back. Both Naruto and Sasuke's eyes widened as they watched the blade rapidly slice through the air, and towards… Naruto?


The sound of something being sliced filled the air, and it took Naruto a second to realise that he was still alive.

"W-what did you do t-that for?!" he demanded shakily. He had not quite recovered from the feeling of almost being sliced apart by his crush.

Yuno simply twitched her lips up into a smile that did not quite reach her eyes.

"Kakashi-sensei only told us not to feed you. He never said anything about cutting your ropes and freeing you."

There. She did it- she helped Naruto.

'The only way for both Sasuke and I to pass is for Naruto to also pass, right? He's definitely going to pass us now, isn't he?'

Suddenly a cloud of dust picked up and Kakashi was right in front of them, standing menacingly with his hands on his hips.

"Loophole abuse!" he accused, pointing at Yuno. She stared back at him with an openly confused expression that mirrored both her team mates'.

"Which was clever though- you all pass."

This was the moment that Sasuke had waited for and expected; he was already five years behind his brother, who became a genin at the age Sasuke enrolled in the Academy. But ironically, this was also the day his life had taken a drastic turn for the worse.

If there was a message his future self would relay to him right now, it will be:

You shouldn't have encouraged her.

Things I would like to say:

*Before you put something like 'How the heck couldn't they have seen that Sakura is not Sakura, but Yuno?!' in your review, here is my reasoning: The pink-haired girl in this story is physically Sakura. It's just that Yuno's sort of possessed her in some way. Or maybe they've merged together. Okay, I'm not really making any sense, am I? Geez, it's just hard to explain properly. x_x

*Gah! Sorry if the second half of the bell test was weird. Immediately after outlining that part, I tried ignoring it and imagining if there was another scenario which would make more sense. But I ended up mind-screwing myself instead. OTL. You can PM me about it if you're confused.

*I don't actually ship this. Really. I wrote this for the hell of it, because the entire idea is weird and I like weird things.

*Feedback and constructive criticism is much appreciated, so please review.