A/N: Finally I finished! Whoo! Any way this ends with fluff. Poor Eddward.

Third Chapter Summary: Kevin had left Eddward in a rather uncomfortable position, perhaps now Ranger K can finally get his revenge on his raven lover. Or will Double D deny such an endeavor.


Edd sat on him bum, knees to chest, desperately rocking back and forth in mock imitation of riding that stupid, mother fucking toy that Eddward swore on ever deity that has ever or will ever exist that her will destroy that… that pulsating, wonderful, pleasurable – you're drooling Eddward.

Edd had no clue how much time had passed, only that no matter how hard he wiggle, pried and stretched, he hadn't the strength nor the skill to escape his confines. Only succeeding in lodging it more securely inside him. Though Double D couldn't curse Kevin completely, he had made sure the rope didn't chafe him too badly. His sweater protected his arms while his thin yet durable socks protected most of his legs.

'I'm going to be so sore.' Edd whined. No matter the position he struggled into, the toy would not ease up, nor slip out. Whatever he did only ended on irritating his cock and anus further.

Feeling very overwhelmed, he could feel tears prickling at the corner of his eyes. 'Don't you cry Eddward!'

The toy turned off, 'Oh thank goodness!' he was starting to drool through the gag. Edd lay on his side now, facing the door and praying that his evil red-headed lover would come back. 'My arms hurt.'

Just as Edd caught his breath the dildo jumped to a level five without any prior warning, scaring the shit out of him and making the tears he tried too hard to hold back spill.

Ages went by – well at least it felt like ages to him – with the random rests and level jumping. Edd decided he no longer liked sex. It was bad; very very very bad for his health. He'd die of heart failure, or blue balls before an 'accident' on the job.

Even more time went by before our tortured Edd heard booted feet, his heart leapt in pure unadulterated joy. 'Please be Kevin, please be Kevin, please –' Edd chanted, the door lock jingled, 'It has to be him, it has to be him –'

The door creaked open. "Gotta fix that." Kevin's voice commented, Edd sheepishly looked up to see Kevin testing the creaky hinges. Done – or having lost interest – Kevin jumped upon spotting Edd, "Whoa." He licked his dry lips, "Hot."

Edd sent the meanest, scariest glare he could manage at Kevin.

Kevin had prepared himself for what he knew to be a delightful sight – or so he thought. Suddenly his black skinny jeans felt entirely too tight.

Edd was sweaty, shoulder-length hair matted to his head but still maintained the 'I just had amazing sex dishevelment'. His blue-green eyes lifeless – till he sent that glare. 'Wow, these pants are really uncomfortable.' The cactus green sweater had ridden up to reveal seashell pink nipples, most likely from rolling around on the floor. 'Geeze, why did I leave? I could have stayed to watch, damn.'

Kevin fumbled with the remote – which was on a gentle two – pulling it out none too gently from his back pocket, accidentally turning the dial as he did so.

Double D screamed – well sorta screamed, it was hard to tell with the gag in place – and curled into a fetal position to sob. "Oops. Sorry." Kevin mumbled frowning at the level five it was currently on. He turned it off watching Edd sag like wet paper.

While poor Double D caught his breath, Kevin unlaced his boots to slip them off. While poor Double D shifted trying to find a more comforting position (and failing), Kevin made the rest of his clothing disappear leaving him in his undies. While poor Double D worked on his gag accidentally flipping himself onto his stomach, Kevin crouched down and yanked the fake dick out of his exhausted lover.

Edd gave a yelp in surprise having not notice him come over at all. God, Edd was so red and embarrassed and wanted to crawl in a hole and wither away till he was nothing but dust particles. His bones and muscles ached. Double D couldn't remember anything, everything was a fuzzy picture of blobs and barely recognizable shades. Briefly he wondered, at what point does staying hard become dangerous? He knew he knew the answer, but no answer came.

Kevin untied his legs and chest, leaving his wrists alone. Gently he slipped the soaked gag off, tossing it to an unknown corner. The gunner grabbed his discarded shirt to wipe the drool off his rag doll of a boyfriend's face.

"You want relief Babe?" Kevin whispered into his ear. It seemed to get Edd out of his stupor because he spun around violently on his knees (Kevin had sat him up), socks and sweater gliding down to yell at him.

"Of course I want relief you – you – you ass! You left me alone for god knows how long with no hope of any help. I'm uncomfortable, sore, and filthy and I'm fucking numb from my elbows to by finger tips Kevin!" Edd wanted to add more – a lot more – but he suddenly had no strength to do so. What could he say? Beg his cruel husband to unlace the corset so he could cum and then pass out for a few days? So the surgeon sighed, "Just hurry up Kevin I'm sore and so very tired." His stomach growled. "And hungry."

"Gosh you're no fun." Kevin stood, "Get up." Kevin hooked his thumbs around the elastic band of his boxers and pulled them down in one fluid motion.

A tick appeared on Edd's forehead at the 'no fun' part. "What, you're going to make me suck you off again?" venom dripped from those pale lips.

Kevin snorted, "No, I'm gonna fuck you up the butt genius. Get up." Another tick formed. "Maybe if ya do a good job, I'll let you cum." Okay, now he was just being an ass.

Double D followed him to the bed on weak legs. Kevin crawled on and lounged on to his back patting his thighs in invitation, a cocky smirk on those tan lips. 'So I am to ride him huh?' Edd thought.

The raven stared at the height of the bed. There was no way he could get up there without his hands. The bedframe was mid-shin, the box spring at his knees, the mattress mid-thigh and the memory foam pillow-top mattress at his bum. Hey they like extra comfort. He sighed a defeated sigh.

"Pumpkin, I do believe I will need help; for you see our lovely bed is quite tall and I'm a little tied up at the moment." Before Double D knew what hit him, Kevin bridal-style tossed him onto his side of the mattress. Edd would be embarrassed to admit that he let a rather girly yelp escape. He landed with a bounce.

By the time Eddward righted himself, Kevin had scooted himself to the middle and resumed his previous position. "So?" Edd prodded all too aware of his little 'problem'.

"So, climb on and ride me Dork." Kevin felt giddy, Edd formed a third tick.

"Can I at least have my arms back?" Edd beg – asked.

"No."

Eddward sighed once more. With a tight-rope walker's balance, he swung a long leg over to straddle his evil partner. Kevin held his himself steady as Edd slowly lowered himself on his throbbing erection (both had forgotten about lube). Despite being adequately stretched, K was still thinker than the dildo. Edd paused for a breath when the mushroom head slipped in.

"It would be easier if we did it doggy Kevin."

"Yeah it would. But I'm kinda tired." That damn smirk turned into a grimace when Edd squeezed his inner muscles. "Just hurry up and fuck yourself. " Kevin growled.

Eddward inched himself downward till his bottom landed softly on Kevin's muscled thighs. Both sighed/groaned.

"How's it feel D?" Kevin whispered he could feel his heart soften at Edd's peaceful expression.

"Wonderful," he scrunched up his cute button nose and wiggled a little. "and uncomfortable."

"Take your time. I go-AH-t all day." Kevin panted as Edd shifted to find a more comfortable position. Both were panting by the time Double D settled himself on his knees. He shuddered.

"K-AH-vin it hurts." Edd began drooling again, "Please. Ta-take it off."

"I'll take it off when you finish your job." Ranger K sat up, placing his feet flat on the bed so the raven was cradled between knees and chest.

"UNG." Without further ado, Edd lifted himself and lowered slowly; legs shaking.

"Th-that's it Babe." The red-head closed his eyes, hugging his man-wife close.

Eddward faltered often; he blamed it on the lack of blood and oxygen making it to his brain and also his inability to use his arms. Each falter had Kevin choke on his saliva, "E-Edd. NGH."

"It hur-NGH-ts Kev." Edd was in tears, his bottom was sore – like an over worked muscle, and his member throbbed both painfully and deliciously.

"Sh-sh." Kevin muttered, tweaking erect nipples and kissing away salty tears. "AH-lmost the-there."

Kevin's thrusts deepened, Edd's lifts became slower and shallower, till he could no longer support himself on twitching legs. "Ke-EH-vin I-UH can't." Kevin simply held onto pale hips to continue.

"Yes you can." Kevin grunted. Edd collapsed, he didn't possess the strength to hold himself up anymore, "It's OH-kay." Kevin trembled himself when the raven fell forward, his head resting on the red-head's shoulder.

K was close, Edd had given up, being too exhausted to continue. He could feel tears and drool drip down his front and back. It was kinda gross.

Edd could only breathe; the pleasure was starting to sear his nerve endings. 'I'm never gonna have sex again.' Edd wailed to himself.

Kevin's crushing hug knocked the eager breath out of him. "Eddward!" Kevin cried as he came. He slowed to a stop, his partner being envious of his orgasm. Everything hurt now – it felt so good. Gently Kevin slipped out and rolled Edd on his side.

"Kevin." Edd looked as if he were in pain, "Please, I'll do anything. It hurts."

Still breathing harshly Kevin motioned for Edd to follow, "Come on Double D, lets' not ruin our good sheets." Dazed, the raven slid out of bed, tumbling forward. The red-head caught his arm before he could fall and half dragged him back to the floor where it all began. Kevin then untied his air-headed wife. "Take the sweater off D." he commanded.

Seeming not to realize that he had his hands free, Edd struggled to lift his arms; finally the surgeon managed to wiggle out of the green thing. Edd sat on his sore bum, knees bent and desperately trying not to die.

Kevin smirked in satisfaction as he watched Edd stumble off the bed, the sticky white substance that trickled down the man's leg made him all the more smug, though he's gonna hear about the mess as soon as the neat-freak is coherent. He laughed a little when Double D struggled with the sweater – which earned him a very weak glare. Finally, Kevin kneeled down a hand gently and caringly squeezing the skinny one's shoulder. "You ready Edd?"

"!" Edd was unable to reply as Kevin had kissed him, slow and steady, effectively distracting him from the vile corset being removed. When they separated, there was a pregnant pause as K leaned back and D moaned in relief. Kevin was a little frightened as hos boyfriend fell back, landing roughly on his back. It wasn't that he fell, rather than a lack of response.

A shaky hand swayed toward his member. He didn't even give himself half a stroke before he was cumming. "AH!" he moaned long and low.

Kevin watched fascinated as his surgeon's back arched into a perfect "U", cum squirting – actually squirting – all over his chest and abdomen. 'Glad I told him to take off that sweater.' Kevin thought. A pale hand was tangled in sweaty locks, the other twitching at his boney hip. His bright red socks had slipped to his knees, his pretty aqua eyes shut tightly. Then the giggling started.

"Edd… you alright?" Kevin asked concerned.

Double D didn't answer, he felt giddy and brain dead. On cloud nine you could say. He felt as if had been electrocuted then left in a hot bath for too long. Everything felt heavy and light as a feather at the same time. "What was that Pumpkin?" next thing Edd knew, he was dropped in a pit of pitch blackness.

After Edd had passed out suddenly and Kevin assured himself that he was alright Kevin sighed a sigh of relief. Maybe he did go too far. That was probably only the third time he's ever passed out after an intense orgasm. Kevin was not looking forward to the bitching he was sure to receive from his sass master.

Kevin left Double D on the floor where he had passed out in favor of cleaning up the place, so as to lessen the nagging when everything goes back to whatever they considered 'normal'. Even after an hour of cleaning Edd had not moved from his spot. Picking him up bridal-style K made his way to the bathroom where a warm bath lay in wait.

Kevin washed Edd first of course, gently and with enough love and care to make you puke rainbows, so as not to wake the sleeping beauty. While drying, Edd stirred, "Mmn… Kevin. Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy…" he breathed in a sigh of relief when Edd slept once more.

By the time he made it into the bedroom with dead weight, he was tired and didn't feel like doing anything else. However, he had to dress his Dork because he was prone to night chills and had this thing where he couldn't sleep without socks on.

The gunner felt as if he was dressing a doll. Not that he ever had experience in that field. *cough* *cough* Queue dramatic flashback of Nazz and him playing with dolls as toddlers – Kevin shivered at the memory.

Ranger K tightly tucked his favorite 'E' into bed before leaving to go locked down their house. A safe opened to reveal Kevin's favorite pistol Edd had designed and built himself for Kevin's birthday a few years ago; kissing his metal child he placed it on the bedside table for protection. Double D was uncharacteristically sprawled out all over, which annoy the tired man still awake. He was forced to rearrange them till the sniper could actually lay in relative comfort.

Nestled in close to his shark Kevin felt content. In many way's Edd reminded Kevin of a shark, not like the viscous Great White or anything, more like a Nurse Shark. Relatively harmless unless provoked. Kevin giggled – er chuckled… manly – at the image of sweet Eddward Vincent as a string and powerful entity like a shark.

"Mostly harmless." Kevin exhaled grabbing his dead-to-the-world lover to hold him like a precious teddy – which in many ways, he was.

Despite the never ending danger and constant threat of death, Kevin couldn't help but wonder what life would be like if all this 'Assassin' mumbo-jumbo never happened. Would they have still ended up together?

Perhaps maybe Edd wouldn't be so angry and frustrated all the time. For now though, Kevin was glad that he knew how to quell an assassin's anger.

Besides, everyone knew that a simple 'I'm sorry' doesn't cut it for them anymore. After all assassins never apologize.


A/N: Boy that took longer than expected. Any way it's done!