The events that occur in this 'what ever this is' takes place three years after The suite Life on Deck Graduation

"Dear Maddie, I am still living in the Tipton alone I went to Bunker Hill Community College but I graduated early yeah I know how that sounds like. Mr Moseby got married apparently Cody and Bailey are moving to the tipton Yes they are still together engaged, London gave us two suites in the hotel for our birthday 2330 and 2222 I got our old suite mom went to California to become an actress apparently a TV show writer has seen her commercial, any way London still lived here she is the same person she didn't change a bit by the way I am now working at your Candy Counter I even work for the Cluck bucket and Camp Tipton man that chicken suite was terrible well anyway I got promoted to the cashier eventually looks like I am working all your old jobs it must have been a nightmare to be you, Estaban is the night manager his wife yes I she is still not running for her live, chef paulo had a heart attack Cody is going to be the new chef Arwin got married to some one hard to believe but true, Maddie please come back there is really some thing I need to talk to you about with out this I don't think I can move on with my life. Zack Martin"

This was the first letter I got from Zack after a long time we haven't made contact in any way since I went to see him on the S.S Tipton but I was happy to hear everyone was doing great I went to the tipton in the bus I had no money since I dropped out of collage

When I arrived at the tipton my eyes went straight to the candy counter I saw a man standing there it was Zack he was wearing a dark blue tipton shirt and beige slacks I went towards him he turned around and said "How may I help you to- Maddie?" he looked at me surprised "I will have a thousand dollar bar and the Explanation for this" I slapped the letter he sent on the counter

"What are you doing here I thought you were in collage I am sorry I didn't keep in touch with you but after Lichtenstamp I couldn't" he replied

"Zack why did you sent me this letter" I demanded, That's when he took the letter and started reading it after he read it he said "Maddie I didn't send you this letter" he answered "Then who did" I pointed out

"It was me I sent you that letter" a very familiar voice spoke from behind me I turned around it was Cody "Cody why in the world would you bring me here" I asked him

"Maddie I am sorry I need to work I am sorry but if you need a place to crash you can stay in my suite I have to go pick mom up from the airport anyway"

"Zack I dropped out of collage My parents died I don't have any money it cost me everything I had to get here I came here to talk to you I wont leave until we work things out" I stated

"There's nothing to talk" he went out with a tear in his eye I asked Cody "Cody why did you get me to come here?"

"Maddie after you left Zack loved a girl her name was Maya they stayed together until graduation then she dumped him to go to Chad" he answered

"Cody why did you bring me here?"

"She died her plane crashed on her way back ever since Zack wont talk to us not even me"

"Cody I wish I could stay but I don't have the money"

"You can stay with us"

"oh pishh possh Maddie you take this and try to get Zack out of his funk" Mr Moseby handed me two key cards one says 2330 and the other is 2331 I thanked Mr Moseby and left to my room it was right in front Zack's I wondered why Moseby gave me a key card to his suite and I went in to mine and fell asleep


Carey came to see me she was exited "oh Maddie how are you I am soo glad you are here" she started "Maddie did you talk to Zack he was upset when he came to pick me up well more upset" she added

"i tried to but he didn't want to" I replied

"Maddie after you left him on the boat he met another girl he loved her but before graduation she broke up with him to go to Africa her plane crashed and she didn't make it after that he was heart broken never talked to anyone even I couldn't get through to him he has built a wall around his heart but we hope you can break the wall because I know you still have feelings for him and he still loves you" she left

It was morning Zack was getting the Candy Counter ready in his eyes was depression I went to talk to Moseby "Mr Moseby can I have my job back" I asked him "Madeline I am most certainly happy to give you your job back"

"thank you Mr Moseby"

I went to the candy counter and started "move over its my job now"

"Maddie stop this I don't want to talk to you right now" he pleaded

"well you are gonna have to talk to me" I murmured Zack left again I didn't know why he didn't talk to me just as he left Cody came over

"He will open up to you when he is ready" he spoke

"yea I know"

That Night Zack was sitting in his 68 ford mustang London bought him I saw him reading a letter and crying to the steering wheel I walked over I opened his door and sat in his car

"Maddie I am not going to talk about this" he started

"then I will talk you listen" I spat "Zack I know about Maya I know what happened after I left Cody told me"

"then talk to Cody he is the one who brought you here" He yelled at me with a tear in his eye

"Zack please hear me out"

"no I cant talk to you now just leave please leave"


"Maddie leave"

"dammit Zack listen to me"

"just leave please" he sobbed

"no Zack I wont leave you have to talk to me" that's when he slapped me and said "Maddie leave I don't want to hurt you please leave"

I got out of his car and ran to the elevator Carey was in it

"Maddie he will talk to you I am sure of it you are the only one he will open up to I know he will just give it time" she comforted

"its hard to see him hurt like this this is my fault"

"no don't say that its not your fault you know" she added

"yes it is"

"Maddie you don't know that"

"it is my fault when I went to see him on the ship I kissed him then I said it was a mistake and tried to brush it off he asked me to look him in the eye and tell him that I had no feelings for him you know what I did I I looked him in the eye and I said it how could I have done such a thing I broke his heart its my fault" I sobbed then we got off the elevator and went to Carey's suite she had been given another suite she sat me down

"Maddie Zack loved Maya but he is in love with you I can see you still love him too and you deserve to know what happened"

"Zack doesn't want to talk to me anymore I don't think he forgives me for what I did I don't think I can forgive me for what I did to him I should have been the one on that plane not Maya"

"no honey don't say that Zack is just afraid to love again he is afraid he will loose you do you know why Zack took all your old jobs?" she asked


"he didn't need money he had money he wanted to feel close to you he loves you that's why when he received a letter from Maya's parents he was devastated but he calmed himself down with a picture of you and there's even a part Cody doesn't even know yet but I am sure he will talk to you sooner or later"

I went to bed that night but I couldn't sleep I heard an argument from Zack's room I stood there listening

"Cody if you tell anyone what you saw I will kill you"

"Zack she deserves to know"

"yea and you deserves to snoop around my stuff"

"Zack the door was open the letter was on the table I just let curiosity get the best of me"

"curiosity is what killed the cat"

"Zack you have to tell her its not fair to her"

"well life's not fair screw you Maddie can go to hell for all I care"

A tear formed in my eye

"Zack you don't mean that"

"get out of my face"

Cody opened the door he saw me standing there

"Maddie how long did you stand there" he asked

"long enough" and I went to my room I fell asleep

The Next morning I didn't get out of bed I stayed in my room till night I saw Zack going to his car from my window and ran down as fast as I could I opened his door

"Zack what's wrong" I asked him

"its none of your business just leave"

"Zack no you can hit me all you wont but I wont leave"

"Maddie I am sorry please leave"

"dammit Zack I love you too much to leave you like this" I blurted out and tried to cover my mouth with my hands

"well I don't leave me alone"

"Zack you don't mean that"

"go to hell Maddie"

I started to cry I ran out of his car and in to my suite I was crying my way into sleep

Zack's Point of view

What have I done I began to think to my self I went to the hotel I pushed the button for the elevator to show up my mom was standing behind me I went into the elevator she stepped in

"Zack what's going on" she asked me

"Maddie told me she loved me" I replied

"So what's the problem" she asked

"I said I don't and I said go to hell"

"why did you do that" she asked again

"i don't know I do love her but I loved Maya too I don't want to go out there and get hurt again I put my self out there and I got hurt twice" I told her trying to hold back my tears


"I loved Max before I went off on the S. S. Tipton and I loved Maya and fate killed her I don't want to loose Maddie she is the only one left"

"Zack if you hadn't noticed Maddie is very thin she hasn't eaten in days her parents died she dropped out of collage and the other day she said she made a mistake Zack I think the only reason she keeps her self alive is you and you said it your self you loved Max you loved Maya but you love Maddie"

"Mom you don't understand what if fate decides we shouldn't be together"

"you will only know if you take a chance"

"i guess you are right"

"i know sweetie just sleep on it don't try to make a decision right now"

"thanks mom" I got off the 23rd floor and went to my room I took out the letter Maya sent me before she died

"Dear Zack I am hoping you remember me I am leaving Africa today I am coming to see you I hope you can forgive me any way and don't bother writing me I am getting on the plane tonight I have some thing important to tell you love Maya"

I fell asleep

The Next Morning I woke up I realized I had hurt Maddie I knew my mom was right I had to let go Maya and move on with the Next chapter of my life

I took a shower and went to see Maddie I knocked on her door

"Whaaaat" she groaned


She opened the door and slammed it in my face

"give me a sec" she said in a groggy voice

Maddie's Point of view

I brushed my teeth and opened the door

"Zack what do you want" I asked him

"Maddie I didn't mean what I said last night"

"yea I know"

"Maddie I have been thinking I do want to open up"

"Zack come inside you can talk while I do my hair"

I welcomed Zack in to my suite he sat on the couch I sat beside him with a mirror and he started

"Maddie this isn't some thing I can tell you its something I have to show you but its in Pittsburgh"

"wow Pittsburgh is like what five hundred miles away?"

"five seventy two to be exact"

"Whats in Pittsburgh" I asked

"I am going to close a chapter of my life there and I'd like you to be there when I do"

"are you sure you want me to come along" I asked

"I am positive I have kept this bottled up too long you are the first person I want to open up to"

"Zack why me" I asked again

"I trust you I love you I loved Maya I loved Max but I love you"

"when do we leave"

"when ever you are ready" he replied

"okay I will go change we leave before night okay?"

"yea okay" he replied

He went to work he needed the money for gas I was happy that he decided to open up and I was happy to know that he was still in love with me I changed into the clothes London gave me and went see Carey

"Hi Maddie" she exclaimed

"We are going on a road trip" I started

"who's we" she asked

"Zack and I we are going to Pittsburgh" I replied

"whats in Pittsburgh" I asked

"Zack will tell you I think he is trying to move on"

"yea that's what he said"

"I always knew he would open up to you I knew you would get him out of his funk"

"i just hope he could get me out of mine" I wispered

I left to the lobby I saw the candy counter empty I asked Mr Moseby "have you seen Zack?"

"yea he went to the cluck bucket in a chicken hat" he chuckled

I mentally kicked myself for forgetting he worked at the cluck bucket and I went to the Candy Counter

A few hours later Zack comes home and I asked him "Zack ready to go"

"hang on I need to get out of my uniform"

Mr Moseby who overheard came to me as soon as Zack left

"so you cracked his code" he asked

"no actually he decided to open up we are going to Pittsburgh" I answered

"we knew you would be the one to get him out of his funk" Cody said from behind

"Cody thank you for getting me here"

I thanked him and left with Zack

On the way to Pittsburgh Zack turned on the radio It was playing REO Speed wagon's Back on the road again Zack was singing along he was kinda happy after a few minutes in I asked him "What's in Pittsburgh?"

"Maya" he replied and handed me a letter he had in the glove box I started reading it

"hey Zack its Maya remember me I am the girl who took your virginity anywho I am assuming you remember me so here it goes Zack remember the night we had sex your condom broke and we thought it was no biggie since I was on the pill well I wasn't I lied see this is why I am writing you I am pregnant you are the father OK I hope you got over the shock by now I am coming back to see you I hope you forgive me for the break up any way its a boy and also don't bother writing back I am leaving today Love Maya P.S this is the important thing I mentioned in my other letter"

"Zack I am sorry about what happened between you guys but why did you break up"

"No I didn't break up with her she broke up with me to go to Chad" he replied

"Zack do you want me to drive" I asked

He said "yes" and pulled over we switched I drove I could see Zack trying to hold back tears

"Maddie this is the first time I let some one else drive my car"

"wow you must really trust me then"

"its not that I don't trust anyone but I consider this as my personal space you are the first one I wanted in here"

"Zack I am flattered"

"Maddie what happened to you"

"what do you mean" I asked

"look at you you look like you haven't eaten in days"

"that's probably because I haven't" I replied

"what why" he asked

"Zack its nothing"

"No I want to know why you haven't eaten in days"

"Zack its hard to explain"

"Maddie I love you too much to take no for an answer"


"dammit Maddie I deserve to know"

"Zack its not a big deal just forget about it"

"stop the car"

"what" I asked

"stop the car Madeline" he demanded I pulled over he never calls me Madeline

"Maddie tell me what happened to you" he asked again

"fine so when I got off the boat I went straight to collage you know that right I couldn't live with my self after what I did to you I started drinking every night and some one got me into drugs then one day I got caught I was taken to jail I spent about four years there then when I was released I got kicked out of collage I didn't have any money my sisters didn't want me no one took me in I stayed on the street for about three years I had no home I slept on bus stops and pavements people kicks me when I am sleeping I begged for food and money I was raped about two times then my roommate found me she gave me the letter Cody sent and some money and food that's when I took the bus here" I blubbered

"Maddie oh my god I am sorry this is all my fault" he said with a tear I his eye

"Zack its not your fault"

"Maddie you went to jail you got raped all of this is because of me I don't know how I can forg-"
I cut him off and said "Zack its not your fault don't blame yourself none of this is your fault I was the one who broke your heart in the first place I was the one who started doing drugs I was the one who got drunk its not your fault" I told him

"Maddie I am sorry please forgive me"

"No Zack you didn't do anything"

"I did"

"stop Zack seriously you cant keep piling this on you I made some bad choices I suffered the consequences you never did anything other than help me so stop blaming your self"

I started the car and we continued to go

"Maddie I ruined your life" he started

"dammit Zack stop it"

"Maddie I ruined your life I don't know if I can ever forgive my self"

"Zack I love you okay I love you more than life itself I knew you were the one for me since you danced at my prom but I didn't want to disappoint you that's why I never dated you and besides I broke your heart the last time I saw you I was soo stubborn I was being a bitch if any thing you should forgive me for what I did to you so stop please" I finished

Finally he stopped and went to sleep I was driving

After a few hours we were in Pittsburgh

"Zack wake up"

"Zack come on we are in Pittsburgh wake up"

I had no response

"wake up sweet thang" he woke up

"where are we" he asked

"Pittsburgh you wanna drive I don't know where you want to go" I asked him

"yea okay"

"he started driving he took me to a cemetery"

"Maya this is Maddie" he started talking it was Maya's Grave

he looked at me and said "Maddie this is where Maya is buried"

He took his lighter out of his pocket and he took the letter he showed me

"Zack are you sure" I asked

"I have hung on to this memory for so long but now I know its time to let go" on that note he lit the letter on fire we watched the ashes fly away a tear fell from my eye as he said "Good bye Maya" and we got back in the Car and left back home

On the way back I asked him "Zack how are you feeling"

"I think I am okay" he replied

"Zack I think I am going to sleep but drive care fully" I said as I went to sleep my head rested on his shoulder the car had bench seats so it wasn't a problem shifting gears

A few hours later

"Wake up sleeping beauty"

"Wake up Blondie"

I woke up and smacked his head

"I guess I deserved that for waking you early"

"Zack where are we" I asked

"out side a diner I thought you might be hungry" he replied

"oh god yes" I replied

"i got you breakfast" he gave me a bag I saw the receipt

"Zack we cant afford all this how did you get this"

"I saved up some money" he said


"I didn't eat" he mumbled

"Zack what did you eat" I asked


"Zack I want to share this with you"


"Zack you can't drive on an empty stomach"

"Maddie don't argue with me you need food"

"Zack I can eat when I get back to the tipton besides I am not that hungry" I lied

Zack started the car and drove

"Zack I will eat this but I will save you half okay"

"no Maddie its not okay you haven't eaten much in the past two years so its no argument eat everything don't worry about me I can skip a meal"

"fine" I groaned

A few minutes later I ate every thing it made him happy

"thank you sweet thang it was the best breakfast I had for a really long time" I used the old nickname he had for me to thank him

"OK now get back your beauty sleep Blondie" he said

"Zack aren't you hungry" I asked

"No seeing you happy makes me full" he replied

"Zack when I was in jail I realized two things" I confessed

"yea what" he asked

"i realized mixing cocaine and marijuana is a terrible idea"

he laughed

"and after I left the boat I was either drunk or high to think but when I was in jail I was sober I knew I made a big mistake trying to hide my feelings for you it was the moment I realized my life was over I mean all my life I have been looking for Mr Right and he was standing right under my nose and when I had a chance with you I blew it I was being a bitch that's when I realized I loved you since you were at my prom"

"Maddie I am responsible for all of this I don't know how I can forgive myself" he started

"Zack bring it up again and I will kick you" I said playfully

"Maddie how long were you in collage" he asked trying to keep a tear inside

"a day" I replied

"Zack you want me to drive its okay I slept good"

"thank you Maddie"

We switched again and drove back to the tipton Zack fell asleep on my lap

At the Tipton I parked the car and tried to wake Zack up

"Zack wake up"

"Zack wake up"

"Zack wake up"

"Zack wake up"

"wake up sweet thang"

He woke up and asked "you drove all the way back?"

"uh huh" I replied

"Zack you need to eat"

"look who's talking" he replied

"OK Zack we need to eat"

Carey was there she was smiling

"wow I wont believe what I saw if I didn't see it" Carey spoke

"What" I asked

"you got Zack to wake up without splashing water amazing" she replied

We went to the lobby Zack went up to my suite I stayed down because Moseby wanted to talk

"what happened" Moseby asked

"Zack said good bye to Maya" I replied

"no I meant are you guys together now" Moseby asked

"of course they are I saw Ms Maddie driving his car" Esteban said

Moseby gasped "he let you drive his car

"well yea we took turns" I replied

"Maddie he never let anyone drive his car I guess you guys worked things out" he finished and left

I went into the elevator with Carey

"Maddie did he tell you" she asked

"yes" I answered

"see I told you he would open up to you eventually"

The door opened I and I went to my suite to see Zack he making my bed I left my room a mess but Zack cleaned it up since the hotel hasn't

He said "Maddie I know you are tired so order room service I have some money I saved so order anything"

"Zack you haven't had any breakfast so we are going to order something and I am sharing it with you don't argue with me" I demanded

We ordered the cheapest thing on the menu Zack wanted me to get what ever I want but I didn't want to waste his money

"Zack I want you to stay over" I asked him

"thanks Maddie I will sleep on the couch"

"i don't want you to sleep on my couch you can sleep here with me"

"Maddie are you sure"

"yes Zack I want to sleep next to you"

"if it makes you happy" he replied

"it does I want to snuggle up with you and sleep"

we slept together on my bed

The next morning Zack Woke up early because he slept on the way back he didn't try to wake me up he left me a note "went to work breakfast in the fridge"

I took a shower and put on my old tipton uniform and I ate the breakfast he made me it was good and I went to see him

I went over to the candy counter and said "hey sweet thang"

"hey Blondie how was breakfast" he asked

"Zack it was amazing"

I gave him a kiss on the lips and said "Zack don't worry about it this time I am not going any where"

I gave him another passionate kiss and this time he kissed back the next thing we know we were making out in the candy counter everyone was looking at us

someone said "okay you two that's enough there are kids out here" Mr Moseby and Carey pulled us apart

I said "wow that was amazing" trying to catch my breath Zack was still going through what just happened

Carey said "we need to talk"

"about?" I asked

"you" she replied

Zack smiled and said "i am having the best dream ever no one pinch me" I pinched him

Carey took me to her suite Zack followed but the elevator closed

In her suite she sat me down on the couch

"so are you going to tell me what happened with you" she asked

"his lips was soo sweet I just couldn't resist" I replied

"no not the kissing I meant what happened to you" she asked again

"what about me"

She showed me an email on her laptop "Hi I am Maddie's friend Margaret I heard Maddie was in jail I just wanted to know if she came to the tipton her roommates said she went to Boston reply fast"

"sweetie why were you in jail"

"i got caught" I was trying to hold my tears back

"you got caught doing what"

"drugs" I replied hesitantly

"DRUGS" she yelled

"i am sorry" I blubbered

"Maddie why did you do drugs" she asked again

"it was my fault" Zack walked in

"what do you mean" she asked him

he started "if I didn't ask you to look me in the eye and say you had no feelings for me you would h-"

"no Zack stop piling crap on yourself I made the choice to do drugs I choose to get drunk" I cried

"you choose to do that because of me"

"dammit Zack I choose that because I was a dumb blonde whore"

"Zack its not your fault its mine" I added

she stepped in "OK alright Maddie you are not a dumb whore OK Zack its not your fault Maddie just made some bad choices if I knew something about this I would have bailed you out honey you could have called me"

"Maddie I am sorry I feel responsible it was supposed to be the best seven years of your life"

"Zack if I could go back I wouldn't have lied to you I would have looked you in the eye and said I that love you"


"yea Zack I love you"

"I love to you too Maddie"

A month later we were driving to see my little brother Liam who was in California Zack was driving I was sleeping on his lap when a drunk driver hit us

"Maddie are you okay" he asked and pulled me out of the car it was leaking gasoline and it exploded he tried to cover me some thing hit Zack in the head

We were taken to the hospital I was fine just a little gash in the head but Zack was in a coma I spent every second waiting for him to wake up

"Zack wake up"

"Zack I love you wake up"

I kissed him he responded but he didn't wake up

"wake up sweet thang I am here"

"Zack please wake up" I pleaded

A few days later

Zack woke up and said "Ma Maddie I love you"

"Zack I love you" I replied then it happened he died I felt like my heart was ripped out of me I started to cry"

At his funeral I jumped in after they lowered the casket it took nine guys to get me off him

I kept repeating "its my fault" and crying I never spoke to anyone I saw Zack every time I closed my eyes I barely ate I wanted to kill my self I tried a couple times but ended up living I kept blaming my self for his death

A few weeks later I started doing drugs again I started drinking I started having sex with every guy I saw I did that for about a year

Now I still live at the tipton I live in Zack's suite I don't work I have no money I surround my self with Zack's stuff looking at pictures I talk to a teddy bear with Zack's picture taped to it I was insane

One day I stopped eating I stopped drinking I stopped everything I wrote a note "please bury me next to Zack" on a photo of me and Zack when he was 12 and laid in bed looking at old photo albums until my candle blew out

all right I know its not fair they should have gotten married I know OK but life ain't fair but I probably will write another one where they get married please review