It's easy to fall in love, at least for the first time. After that, you either spend your life with them, or you learn to move on. Fall out of love. Rogue mulled the phrase over in her head. It's not the first night she's spent like this, trying to figure out how. It was only 10 pm, but she'd been shut in her room since 7. She just laid on her bed, her mind focusing on his arm around her waist. His fingers in hers. She felt defeated. How many hours had she spent like this?
10 pm on a Tuesday night and she was lovesick. Rogue had a better idea. Because she didn't teach Wednesdays, she decided to go out. She slipped into an old t-shirt and a pair of jeans. She didn't feel like impressing anyone. She left her hair as it was, taking a moment to look in the mirror. Her eyes lingered on the white hair that framed her face. She still couldn't decide whether she liked it or not.
After making sure the hall was clear, Rogue slipped her jacket on and crept down the stairs. She wasn't going to tell anyone she was going out, she'd send a text to Storm when she left. It was easier that way, she didn't have to look anyone in the eye. She took off her flats and put on her old, worn out boots. She fled down to the garage without seeing anyone. She put her helmet on, ready to go.
"Jesus fuck!" Rogue shouted, nearly falling over. There Logan was, sitting on a work bench with a beer in his hand. He was smirking.
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare ya. Didn't think anyone would be comin' out here." He said.
"Yeah, me neither." Rogue replied as she crossed her arms. Bastard.
"I guess. I mean, well, yeah." Fuck. She had no idea what to say. She hadn't been ready to be alone with him.
"Alright then, I won't hold'ya up." He said, staring off the way he always did. He wasn't smirking anymore, just silently drinking his beer.
"I'll see you tomorrow I guess." She added. Hopefully not. She turned away from him and slowly led her bike out of the garage.
"Hey, listen, I'm glad to see ya kid. You look good, healthy, I mean." He said. He was looking at her, but she didn't look at him. There was that word again, kid.
"I ain't been a kid for a long time Logan." She said, refusing to look back at him. The words were cold, unforgiving. Much like their last encounter.
She revved the engine and sped down the long driveway, tears burning in her eyes.
Cold air had never felt better. She drove faster then she should of, like she couldn't get away fast enough. She hadn't even decided where she was going, just that she wanted to get out of the mansion. Logan used to make her feel so happy and safe. She loved to be with him, even if they just sat in silence. They used to have a mutual understanding of each other, an unspoken bond. Now whenever she saw him, all she felt was bitter anger laced with anguish.
She stayed out for hours. Hours of nothing but wind blowing through her hair. For Rogue, there was nothing quite like riding a motorcycle. The world around you is so much better when you are going 100 miles an hour. The air is cold and sharp. Fresh. You can feel the roar of the engine inside of you. It changes the way you breath, the way your heart beats.
The only thing that compared was sex.
She thought of sweet, handsome Gambit. She wished she hadn't screwed things up with him. He was the perfect outlet for her loneliness. If only things had gone another way, she could have been lying in his arms instead of being alone. She didn't even have his number...but she did know his address.
She couldn't remember how to get there, as she was drunk and preoccupied with his mouth on hers. But she did have google maps on her phone. She typed in his address, which was a solid half hour away, but it didn't matter. It did cross her mind that if he was even at home he'd probably be sleeping, but something told her he wouldn't care. So she changed directions, and sped off, thinking about his long, swift fingers.
Rogue arrived at his apartment complex around 2:30. She could see his truck in the parking lot and took it as a good sign. A few moments later she was pressing her finger on what she hoped was the right buzzer. She knew he was on the third floor and that his apartment was the last one on the right, so she took a guess and pushed 312. Whoever it was, they buzzed her in.
The elevator was taking too long, so she took the stairs. She ran up so fast she was out of breath by the time she got to the third floor. She didn't want to give herself the chance to change her mind.
At the end of the hall, leaning in his open doorway was Remy. He was shirtless with sweatpants hanging low on his hips. Low enough that she could see the trail of hair that lead up to his belly button.
"Had a feelin' you would show up sooner or later." He called, flashing that hundred watt smile. She made her way down to the hall to him and smiled back.
"So does that mean you're glad I'm here?" She asked.
"More den glad chere."
"Sorry it's so late, I hope I didn't wake you."
"Remy never minds wakin' up for you, belle." He said, looking her up and down. He grabbed her free hand and led her into the apartment, and shut the door behind her. She put her helmet down on the counter and took her her jacket and boots, almost mechanically. She felt like part of her was glad to be there, while the other was far away somewhere else.
He stood staring, waiting for her to make the first move. She hopped up on the counter and spread her legs, just slightly. He came over and stood between them. She put her arms around his neck and brushed her lips against his. He started out with gentle slow kisses, sucking on her bottom lip. He had one hand on her back and the other on her cheek, pulling her close to him. The kiss grew passionate as his tongue pushed it's way into her mouth. She usually hated the feeling of someone else's tongue on hers, but he was so damn good at it. He wasn't sloppy like the others, and his mouth was salty, tasting like cigarettes.
They stayed like that for a while, his hands roaming along her body while they kissed. Quickly, Rogue opened her eyes to look at him. He was so beautiful and passionate, and still she felt out of place. His eyes flashed open to look back at her.
"Are you ok chere?" He asked.
Instead of answering, Rogue hopped off the counter and sauntered into his room, peeling her shirt off as she went. Remy followed suit, scooping her up in his arms.
He laid her down on the bed and climbed on top of her. Remy removed her bra, and began to suck on her nipples. He bit at one lightly as his hand massaged the other, causing Rogue to let out a small gasp. His mouth made it's way back up her jaw, sucking briefly on the sweet spot on her neck and began kissing her again. This time it was feverish, his mouth devouring hers. One of his hands was unzipping her jeans while the other kneaded her breast. His touch felt so good. His skin burned on hers, setting her whole body on fire. She could feel how aroused he was, and how aroused she was as well. She pulled away and removed her jeans and underwear, laying naked under him. He stood to take in the sight. His eyes trailed down to the dark curls between her legs. His eyelids hung low, like he was in a trance.
"Mon dieu." He whispered.
"Is somethin' wrong?" Rogue asked, anxious.
"Non, belle. I've just never seen a woman as beautiful as you." He replied, his voice low.
"Oh." She mumbled, blushing.
He took of his sweatpants and climbed back on top of her, this time leading a trail of wet kisses down her belly to between her legs. He smelled like cinnamon and sweat. He licked at her playfully, and she let out a small giggle. She never really got used to being touched, especially like that. His tongue was cool and wet on her, she couldn't help it. His breath her inner thighs made her crazy. His tongue glided against her skin, making her squirm. He moved expertly. It made Rogue wonder how much he did this. As soon as the thought popped into her head, she cried out. He'd moved on her sweet spot, confirming, that he was in fact, very experienced. It didn't surprise her.
It only took her a few minutes before she was about to climax. He brought her so close to the edge, then pulled away.
"Not yet, chere." He murmured. He quickly stepped over to the bedside table and ripped open the small foil package. He rolled the condom on slowly as she watched, enthralled.
Not a minute later and he was hovering over her again. He brought his hand to her chin and raised her face to meet his gaze.
She nodded, breathless.
Hours later, Rogue lay sweet and sticky under Remy's sheets. He was blissfully asleep next to her, his chest falling up and down lightly. He'd fallen asleep pretty fast after ward, he nearly passed out.
The room smelled of sex, that salty, luscious smell. Rogue reveled in it. She been denied for so long, her skin forbidding her to anyone except herself. How nice it was to be there, spent and satisfied, even if...no. Forget him.
She looked over to Remy. He was so kind to her, so... generous. And here she was, lying in his bed (again), thinking of Logan (again). In an effort to forget, she curled herself around Remy, and even in his sleep, he pulled her close to him.
I don't deserve that.
Somewhere between feeling happy and feeling guilty, Rogue fell asleep.
Rogue awoke to the smell of bacon. Remy was out of bed, shirtless in his sweats, making her breakfast.
"Mornin' chere." He said, giving her a lazy smile. He walked over and kissed her lightly on the head. "Usually girls don' stay the night-"
"Oh, uh, sorry, did you want me to leave?" Rogue interrupted.
"If you'd a let Remy finish, I woulda said I was glad you stayed."
"Oh." Rogue felt a pang of guilt. She'd showed up there looking to indulge her sorrows. He was just happy she was there.
"You ok petite?" He asked from the kitchen.
"Yeah, I'm fine sugar. Still in a bit of a daze is all." She said jokingly, appealing to his ego.
"Well, I can have 'dat effect on des filles." He replied, wiggling his eyebrows.
Rogue laughed. She pulled on one of his t-shirts and wandered into his small kitchen, sitting on a barstool across from him. She noticed he was wearing a strange watch. It looked very expensive, high tech, and familiar. She'd seen similar ones, but couldn't remember where. It striked her as odd. Now that she was thinking about it, he was always wearing it, even all last night.
"That's a fancy watch. Where'd you get it?" Rogue asked.
"It was a gift from an old friend." He replied, suddenly closed off. It made her curious, but she didn't want to push him.
"So what brings ya up here from New Orleans? If I was from Orleans I'd never leave." She said in an attempt to steer the conversation away.
"I woulda loved to a' stayed 'dere, but see Remy got a way a' makin' trouble. Y'could say dat I'm not welcome 'dere anymore." He said it playfully, but actually looked kind of sad. "An' you chere? What made you leave 'da sout' ?"
"I guess you could same the same thing. I ain't welcome there no more, at least not at home. I got into trouble too, and had to leave, fast." She shared.
"Chere, I had a feelin' you were trouble."
"You got no idea Cajun."
They ate together, joking and making stabs at each other. The whole time, Rogue had a nagging feeling that she shouldn't be there. He enjoyed her company too much, and she didn't enjoy his enough. Her drove her home a little while later. It was around noon by the time she got back, and kids were out on the basketball court, as well as others running around the property. Remy pulled up to gate, a glimpse of some of the kids with more...obvious mutations.
"You teach at a school for mutants." He stated. He didn't seem very surprised.
"Is that a problem?" Rogue asked coolly.
"Not at all." He said, his hand flicking to his wrist, pushing buttons on his fancy watch. Rogue then remembered where she'd seen it. The X-Men had quite a few of them, as wearing them could disguise physical mutation. They didn't like making anyone hide, but it made it safer for some students to be out in public. She tore her gaze from the watch to Remy's face, now looking into different eyes, his real eyes. They were remarkable, red irises on eye whites that had turned black as night.
"Dey used to call me Le Diable Blanc. I never used to hide, but you kinda gotta be under the raydar 'round here. Ain't safe no more." He murmured.
"You don't gotta tell me sugar."
"Don' ya wanna know what I can do?" He asked playfully.
"Save it for next time." Rogue said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. If he started talking about his mutation, he'd want to know about hers, and that usually didn't go well. She didn't want to ruin things with him...yet.
She hopped out of the truck and punched in the passcode, the gates opening wide for her. She gave Remy one last wave and headed up the driveway. She should have showered, she knew she reeked of sex (and bacon). She was almost proud though. She, the once untouchable girl, had gotten laid. Rogue had caught Logan so many times, slipping in to the mansion in the early morning hours, smelling like booze and sex. It was her turn.
She was disappointed to enter the mansion and see no one around. She had wanted to gloat so badly. She headed up the stairs to go to her room, and she hit the jackpot. Logan was exiting his room, and he immediately turned his head to her. The thing about him, is he'd smell her coming from a mile away. He narrowed his eyes and sniffed the air, frowning. He looked at her, taken aback. Rogue nearly burst out laughing. Instead, she held her head up, and sashayed past him into her room. Suck on that Logan.
Rogue emerged from the shower an hour later, feeling refreshed. She actually felt good. She felt like she was full of energy, even after her long night. She had the day off, and nothing to do. She'd finished all the marking she'd needed to do, and had her lessons all planned out. She enjoyed being a teacher. When she was a little girl, she used to play school with her friends, bossing them around and handing out "homework". She hadn't ever really thought of actually being a teacher (and technically she wasn't) until she joined the X-Men. She felt it fit her well.
Around 3, there was a knock on her door. Rogue opened it to see Carol, stunning and towering over her, dripping with sweat.
"Hi, Rogue, is it? I'm sorry to disturb you, but my room is just down the hall and I can't figure out how the shower works. Could you help me? I would ask Logan, but he is still down in, oh, what is it called? The Danger Room? Anyways, I could really use your help. I'm desperate for a shower." She said, her words coming out smoothly and articulate.
"Uh, sure thing. When I first moved up to this floor I couldn't figure out how the damn thing worked either." Rogue replied, trying to be friendly. She didn't want to hate the woman, it wasn't her fault that Logan was an asshole. Even so, she did feel slightly...frigid towards her. "So you were in The Danger Room with Logan? That's rough for your first time. His drills are insane. Everyone's always achin' for days after." Rogue said, trying to make light conversation.
"He certainly was vigorous. He actually seemed quite angry. And you especially, know how Logan can be when he's upset..." Carol replied. Rogue laughed a little, unnerved.
Rogue showed her how to run a shower and made a quick escape. What the hell did that mean? She couldn't tell if Carol had said it purposefully, or it was just one of those comments that slipped out. Either way, it was a strange comment to make.
Rogue headed back in her room and laid down on the bed, locking the door behind her. She tried to recall the giddy feeling she had felt earlier. She couldn't. For some reason, she thought of home. Her first home. She wondered how her mama and papa were doing. She hated them and hated herself for still loving them and missing She would never forget the looks of their faces when they realized what their precious daughter was. A freak. Everything had fallen apart so quickly, years of love forgotten in a minute.
"Please, daddy, mama, where will I go? Please! How can you do this to me? I'm still your little girl! How can you do this to your own child?"
"You are no child of mine."
She still remembered her daddy's voice, cold and sharp as glass. Her sweet, Christian momma, was standing behind him, cowering. She wouldn't look at Rogue, even though she screamed, cried and begged for her to do something.
And yet Rogue couldn't stop herself from wanting her mother and father to wrap their arms around her again. She wanted her daddy to tuck her in at night and kiss her head again. She wanted a piece of her mommas pecan pie and go play in the deep Mississippi mud.
Maybe Logan was right. Maybe she still was a kid.
A/N: I am so sorry. I know it's been weeks, maybe even months, I can't remember. I hit a really bad writing block and sort of lost faith in my writing ability. I hope to update more often now. Please review, and don't forget I love constructive criticism as much as praise! Thank you for reading. :)