A/N hello! its me! themadmanhopes (slash dreamingofimpossiblethings slash redaugust102...im having a pen name crisis but the madmanhope will be PERMANENT I promise).
I'll get right to it, this is a one shot from that scene at the end of Waters of Mars. The scary one. It really resonated with me, so the following was born. Please tell me what you think and thanks for reading!
He was smiling.
The Doctor was smiling.
Why was he smiling? Why was he, of all people, the one who had watched as all his friends were wrenched away from him, who had lived much too long, smiling?
Because he'd seen it, that's why. Because he'd finally realised. Realised who he was, who he could be, what he could do.
Realised that he didn't have to lie down and take it. Realised that he could fight back. Change history. Change the future.
Realised that, if he could do this, he could do anything.
He was smiling. Was he happy?
Snow fell, drifting along to the gentle breeze, glowing against the black, black sky. It crunched under his feet as he shifted, looking around at all the people he had saved.
He loved snow.
He smiled wider. He had not smiled much lately, but now he could not stop himself. He'd won. He'd won.
But no one was smiling back at him.
"Don't you get it? This is the 21st of November, 2059. Same day. On Earth. And it's snowing! I love snow."
He smiled at them again, why weren't they happy? Why weren't they thanking him, shouting in relief, laughing in joy? But they were just staring at him, in horror? In fear?
No, they were shell-shocked. He had saved their lives, they were grateful. They simply hadn't recovered from their narrow brush with death.
"What is that thing?" the young woman- Mia? Yes, Mia- asked, looking at the TARDIS, as if she couldn't comprehend its existence. "It's bigger— I mean, it's bigger on the inside...Who the hell are you?"
She looked afraid- of course she was afraid, she had very nearly been blown up back on Mars, dying so very far from home. And then she turned, and ran, stumbling quickly through the snow.
"Look after her," Adelaide said to the other one- Yuri.
"Yes ma'am," he ran after her, and was it folly or did he look thankful to leave them?
"You saved us," Adelaide looked at him, accused him.
Yes. He had saved them. He had saved Adelaide Brooke.
"Just think about it. Your daughter and your daughters' daughter. You can see them again. Family reunion," he smiled. She had to be happy. He had saved her life. He had ensured her decades to come.
"But I'm supposed to be dead."
"Not anymore." No. No longer would he let Time do what it wished. No longer would he cower before it. No longer would he let it take lives so easily and often.
He was a Lord of Time. The very last one. The only being in existence who could have such control over the passage of days. He could do what he wanted with Time. He could make it obey the rules he defined. Time was his to rule.
"But...Susie. My granddaughter. Wasn't she supposed to become... Might never exist now."
"Nah! Captain Adelaide can inspire her face-to-face. Different details but the story's the same."
Why wasn't she smiling?
"But you can't know that! And if my family changes the whole of history could change. The future of the human race. No one should have that much power."
Perhaps no one should, but the Doctor did. He always had, and now for once he was going to use it. He was going to be the Time Lord he was born to be. He was not going to bow and submit before the universe any longer. He was going to tower above it. Make it obey his will.
"Tough," he replied shortly.
"You should have left us there," Adelaide stabbed back.
Didn't she know the value of her own life? Didn't she realise what he had done for her?
"Adelaide, I've done this sort of thing before. In small ways, saved some little people. But never someone as important as you. Oh, I'm good." He was good. Very good. He'd just saved the brilliant Captain Adelaide Brooke. Defied the whims of Time. He was very very good.
"Little people?! What, like Mia and Yuri? Who decides they're so unimportant? You?" she questioned sharply, she was angry. She shouldn't be angry. She should be happy. She should be smiling.
He paused before answering.
"For a long time I thought I was just a survivor, but I'm not." Just an old man who had managed to live a little longer, outlast the rest of his kind. No. He wasn't that any longer. He was so much more.
"I'm the winner."
He hadn't just survived the Time War. He hadn't just lived through all those hundreds of years. He'd won his way through them. Because he held the power of Time. He alone.
"That's who I am. The Time Lord Victorious."
The Time Lord Victorious. The Winner. The strongest, the smartest, the best.
Nothing, not even the powers of Time, could stand before him.
"And there's no one to stop you," Adelaide said.
There used to be. A long long time ago. But then he'd lost them. Now he was alone. Unrestrained. He could do anything. Nothing, no physical nor emotional bonds, no memories, no loves to hold him back.
And it was better.
"This is wrong, Doctor. I don't care who you are. The Time Lord Victorious is wrong!"
Who was Adelaide Brooke, human, to say whether he was right or wrong?
"That's for me to decide. Now you better get home," he glanced over at her little flat. "Oh! It's all locked up. You've been away. Still, that's easy."
He pulled out the sonic screwdriver and unlocked the door for her.
Adelaide made no move to enter, just continued to glare at him. "Is there nothing you can't do?"
He could do anything now.
He watched as Adelaide turned and trudged over the snow. She had to be happy. He'd saved her. That was good, that was right. Saving lives, especially ones as important as hers, that wasn't a bad thing.
He put his hand on the TARDIS door, then heard the bang. Saw the flash.
From Adelaide's window.
There was no guessing what she had done.
She had stopped him.
She had restored him.
She had defied him.
Another life taken in his name.
The Doctor. The Time Lord Victorious. The winner.
He'd won this time.
And then lost even more.
Still the snow fell, drifting onto his shoulders. The silence whispered to him. Told him what his mind already knew.
"I've gone too far," he choked, to the empty air.
He cast his gaze around, searching for something to justify himself. He'd gone too far. He'd done too much. No longer a Lord of Time.
An enemy of it.
He saw, standing among the snow, an Ood. Looking at him. Unmoving, unspeaking.
"No, but you be careful, because your song is ending, sir!"
"It is returning. It is returning through the dark, and then Doctor...oh but then... he will knock four times."
"Every song must end."
"Is this it?" he croaked. "My death? Is it time?"
The Ood flickered into nothing, leaving behind the black and the snow and the sky.
Something else of his winked out along with that Ood, and then something else began to grow. Or perhaps it was just revealing itself.
Back, then, somehow, in the TARDIS, the low hum, the golden lights, the million corridors.
And he said a word.
He didn't want this.
He was the Time Lord Victorious.
The Time Lord Defeated.
And he said it.
He wasn't smiling.