10I don't really know what going to happen with Ezra, if he's really A, working for A, trying to thwart A. So in this he is A. That is all.
Aria stared down at the test in her hands, praying it wasn't true and willing her unwanted result to change. No matter how many times she squeezed her eyes shut and prayed, she would see the same result when she opened them once again.
This was bad.
It doesn't matter if she and Ezra were together or if they were in love. Those details could slightly improve the chances of this turning out alright, but they did nothing to help ease the nawing dread that constricted around Aria like a vine. She was still a teenager. She was still in high school. She was still living under her parent's roof. Ezra was still a teacher at her school.
A was still a threat to her friends and herself.
This was very bad!
At this moment nothing mattered beyond the fact staring straight up at her face. Maybe the reaction of her parents mattered too-she hoped they would still support her. She wasn't worried about her friends. Didn't care to think about them at the moment. Most of all she didn't want to think of Ezra. He didn't matter, she didn't want him to. She didn't want to think about this giant mistake that could claw itself between them. This mistake that could ruin both their lives, and create hardship for the people closet to her heart. At this moment, she wanted to get rid of it, anyone else's opinions be damned. She wanted to take the easy way out, she wanted to hide. Hide from the monster in her closet. She wanted to be that little kid whose biggest fear was a monster, back when her problems could be solved by swaddeling herself in her nice warm, cozy blanket. She wanted this to be a lie or a mistake. She wanted this scary threat gone. Nevermind was she would actually do back in reality-she was stuck in her mind where she could do whatever she wanted. It was safer here, where she could pretend nothing was about to change. Right now, her mind was a safer, warmer, more inviting place than reality.
Getting rid of it was the safest option, especially if her parents-and Ezra, especially Ezra-never had to find out. Adoption was the second best option because the less people who knew about the baby the better for Ezra's job and her if she could find a way to hide the pregnancy from everybody once she started showing-maybe go back abroad until the baby arrived and was given away. However, Aria knew she couldn't give up her own child without regretting it at some point in her life. If she was going to have the child then she was going to raise it! So option two wasn't an option at all.
The last option made her stomach clench and her heart shrivel up in fear. Having this child would mean owning up her mistakes, changing the lives of her and Ezra for better or for worse, growing up, taking care of a life more fragile than a pet, telling her parents, risking getting abandoned by them and facing Ezra. She could always just start showing and let Ezra figure it out. But they were in a relationship and she couldn't lie to his face every day until her bump got too big to hide; or she could and risk Ezra's inevitable rage at her having hid this from him. Avoiding him would then best the favorable option but of course it was also the least possible path of action.
Aria already knew she was keeping the child, which is why she was so scared. This was one of those life changing moments and she wasn't married, wasn't out of college or living on her own, didn't support herself, hadn't even finished high school. Like many unfortunate girls, this was not how she had ever thought her life would go. At least this wasn't a one night stand from something like a drunken trist at some party. At least Ezra had a job and a roof over his head and was capable of being a father-a really good one at that-even if he wasn't quite ready. She wasn't ready either, so at least they were on the same page. Kind of.
Taking a deep breath, Aria stood from where she had been perched against her tub for at least a good half hour. Her body screamed in protest and she moaned as she stretched out the kinks that had formed in her body. Wiping the few tears that had sneaked down her face, she walked toward the counter where she took some paper towels and wrapped the test up, and then stuffed it in a plastic back that she tied shut and buried in her trash can. She did not need anyone (her mom) finding it by accident, before she was ready to come clean.
As she turned to leave, she accidently caught her reflection in her mirror and her breath caught. Her face was puffy and her hair was a mess from where she had constantly run her hands through it in her despair. With tired eyes, Aria turned away from her reflected clone, too emotionally exhausted to care about her appearance. Without another thought to the world around her, she made a beeline toward her bed, seeking the comfort of her warm, fluffy sheets and promptly fell asleep in the toasty bliss while she tried to deny reality for at least a few more hours.