5I hate this part. The angel alarms sounded, I was taken with Asuka to NERV, we suited up. But instead of being deployed in the city, we were shot up inside the Geofront. I wont bore you with the details. You know what happened, you had first class tickets to the show.
My time inside of Unit-01 was... interesting, to say the least. When Akagi tells you I don't remember anything, don't believe her. I remembered everything, in excruciating detail. It wasn't that bad initially. I got this feeling of euphoria, like I was at last home. All my fears and anxieties were gone as I floated in a plain, while void.
But every time I was thinking about returning something kept me, pulled me back. I heard this voice telling me that all was right and that I was safe. That I don't have to go back. But that was not right, was it? I had to go back. After what seemed like an eternity, I managed to fight off the lure to stay.
I woke up briefly, laying naked on the catwalk right before the EVA, cradled by both Asuka and Misato. I turned my head to see Rei watching from a distance. When she noticed me looking at her, she turned away, looking guilty. I don't remember anything else.
When I regained consciousness I saw a familiar ceiling, the ceiling above my usual bed in the hospital. In times like these Rei used to greet me after waking up. Now it was Asuka, for which I was very grateful. I don't know if I ever wanted to face Rei again.
"Slept well, idiot?" She asked. I have gotten used to the nice Asuka, but now her voice was anything but accommodating. "Didn't you promise you wouldn't do anything stupid? Like playing the big damn hero again?"
"How long..."
"Almost five days. You know how worried we were?"
"Sorry... I didn't think."
"You never do." She smiled. "But it's good that you're back."
"It's good to be back. When can we go?" I asked as I started to get up, but managed to fall back onto the bed. I felt weak, but I didn't intend to stay a minute longer than I needed.
"When I say so!" A woman said from the door in an annoyed voice. It was Dr. Akagi, the fuck toy. I know she's your friend, but that's the truth. I saw her leaving my fathers office once with her clothes and hair disheveled. It didn't take much to put two and two together and get sixty-nine. "For now, you need to stay overnight."
"Not going to happen, doctor. I'm going home."
"Hey!" Asuka raised her voice, not liking where this was going. "Listen to her. You were absorbed for five days in the EVA. A lot of things could have happened to you."
"Smart girl. Listen to her!" Akagi warned me.
"Fine," I said, then whispered into Asuka's ears, "You know why..."
"Don't worry. I'll be near." She replied with a smile. "Won't let the big bad doctor harm you."
After two uneventful days I was released. I had a lot of time to think. While my stay in Unit-01 didn't seem like five days, I still had time to mull over the things I found out. During my time floating in that formless void things were much more clear. Even before I was already trying to find a rational thing to do, but I guess my fears were to hard to get over. Not so in there.
If I did something, what would be the consequences? One wrong step and I could be killed or locked up forever. And what should I do? First I had to get myself in order, otherwise I would turn myself into my biggest enemy. All I knew that I hated Akagi, my father and even Rei.
This was when I decided that they'd need to die. There was no other way. I told Asuka that I would wait, but sooner or later, someone would figure out what we know and would act. I don't think that even being pilots would save us if we became thorns in NERV's side. My fathers side, I have to remind myself. Wouldn't things be better if they'd die, as soon as possible?
I was lying on Misato's couch when I made my shit-list:
K. Itzuki
R. Akagi
R. Ayanami
K. Fuyutsuki
G. Ikari
After a minute of deliberation, I crossed Rei off. I knew that as much as I loathed her, I couldn't harm her. She obviously had some disturbing relation to my father but that was not enough. Since the bastard raised her, she could easily have been brainwashed. It probably wasn't even her fault, she just followed orders and never even knew that they could be refused. Not to mention our history together.
I had thought to cross off Itzuki, since he was only a low-level tech. I only knew that he did the core scan with Akagi, but unlike Rei, he was a grown man who should have known better. He had a family, his own views and his own sense of morality. Obviously killing a 14 year old boy was not at odds with them, since he never told anything to anyone.
"Hey, Shinji!" I heard Asuka yell, "Don't forget dinner! I haven't eaten anything decent in a week."
Grumbling I went to the kitchen. I had to remember that while Asuka was much nicer and less competitive, this was probably only because she didn't see me as a threat anymore. I mean I wasn't the Invincible Shinji anymore, just the boy with the faulty unit. The fact that my EVA went berserk and ate me just added to that image. She could even accept the fact that I lasted longer than her in the battle against the 14th.
I heard her plop down in one of the chairs. I turned back to see her staring at me as I made dinner. She had a distracted look on her face, like she was about to ask something. After a few minutes of zoning in and out, she asked me something.
"Are you still pissed?" She asked cautiously. "I mean, about..."
"Yes," I admitted. "I think I know what to do."
"Okay..."
"You're not going to talk me out of this?" I was shocked that her reaction changed so much. "I mean, you told me over and over again not to do something idiotic."
"I talked to Hikari."
"Oh..."
I have completely forgotten about her. I guess you could call her Touji's ex-almost-girlfriend. He had a crush on her for a very long time, but was convinced that she didn't like him. With all the shit he and Kensuke pulled I was not surprised. Guess they weren't the brightest people I knew. I mean why would you piss of the girl you liked so much?
But Asuka told me that the class rep also liked him since sixth grade. It was all really odd. Touji had a crush on her almost as long. The two of them were totally oblivious about each other. Before Touji's death Hikari almost gathered her courage to ask him out. She even made him a bento and was about to have a nice little private lunch in school with my friend, but he was called into the principals office when Akagi went to recruit him.
A day later Hikari found out he died. I am not the most observant about people and we were never close, but I should have noticed that she wasn't present in school. But I spent most of my time wallowing in self-pity to notice it. And most of the students blamed me for his death and avoided me. Even Kensuke kept his distance, though he never accused me directly. I attributed her distance to the same fact.
"She's a wreck. I never even noticed how much she cared about Touji before. I went to give her the school printouts, I didn't even know she was grieving. Call me self-absorbed, but I had my own problems."
Her voice was sad and regretful, which I'm not surprised about. Everyone knew that Asuka's only real friend (apart from me, probably) was Hikari. A while back I assumed the friendship was shallow, seeing how Asuka has been aloof at best and downright hostile at worst to most people. While she was neither to the class rep, I didn't imagine her to open up much to her either. But hearing her I had to reconsider. She must have cared for Hikari deeply if her grief had such an impact on her.
"I want to help you." She continued. "Whatever it takes."
"No." I said.
"If it's some testosterone-fueled male posturing..." She shrieked angrily at me.
"That's not it!" I yelled back. "It's my mess and I should fix it!"
"Fix it? This isn't about fixing it! You'll not get him back that way. And it's Not. Your. Fault!" The last words were said slowly, with the same tone you'd use to explain the Schrödinger equation to a toddler.
"Then what is it?"
"Revenge." She said, her tears starting to well up. "Shit, do you think I want this? I'll lose my status as a pilot at least. But I can't stand this... If it would have been Hikari, I'd do the same thing as you."
"I cant let you get into trouble. You already did enough to get into some serious shit!"
"I saw the core scans, I told you what it meant and now I'm not trying to stop you or report you. Even if you go alone, they'll find out soon enough that I was also involved. I want to help or I'll go crazy."
"Fine." I was exasperated. I could not argue with her. The moment I involved her she also started to live on borrowed time. "What will we do? Grab a gun and shoot them?"
"Exactly."
One of the interesting things about life in NERV's employ was that all pilots were trained to use guns. The purpose was less to give us proficiency with handguns and more to learn about gun safety. The same basic principles were true for EVA scale weapons as with normal ones. And when a stray bullet could destroy a building by itself, you really needed all the training you could get. Factor in that .22 cal bullets were much cheaper to shoot than the HEAA shells or even the simulation time in the MAGI and you can certainly see the logic behind this reasoning.
So they gave us a Walther P22 for training. The small pistol was better suited for us teenagers than something with a bigger caliber as the recoil was easier to manage. While it has less power, it is still enough to kill or seriously injure someone.
Getting such weapons is pretty easy. Gun control after Second Impact is less than stellar. A lot of people are still carrying arms after the chaotic years and the following wars and riots. Before the Impact, the Japanese government was notoriously strict about owning guns. The current one has desperately tried to disarm people, but removing the amount of weapons in possession of the civilian population has been going on for decades.
We just had to find the right people. While I had no idea how to go about that, Asuka knew someone who knew some guy. All-in-all, we ended up with the pistols and about a few hundred rounds of ammo. Somehow Asuka managed to get it all cheaply.
The problem with such small-caliber bullets is that they don't kill reliably. Asuka has repeatedly drilled into me to aim for the head and from up close if possible. The main danger was that the target would still have time to retaliate.
Kazumi Itzuki was living in one of the more populated parts of Tokyo-3. So he didn't notice as an undescript brown haired boy was following him. In the last week me and Asuka have been trying to figure out how and where to do this. The best thing we could figure for now was to simply find out the routine of our targets and wait for the right moment to act.
I feared that I would not be able to go through what we planned. It is not hard to see why, my shy and meek attitude is no act. But the moment I saw the man I was reminded that he knew that Touji would die and my hatred overtook my fears. Even so, hating someone and killing them are two entirely different things. But I already made up my mind.
We were nearing the less populated part of his route home and thus the proper place to act. It was already dark and there was nobody near. I was already only a few meters from him, all I had to do was aim and...
"What are you..." The man started, but stopped when he saw my gun aimed at him. Before I knew how to react to his words I heard three shots. It took me a few moments to realize that I was the one who fired them.
Two of the bullets hit him in the head, the third one missed. The whole affair seemed pretty clean despite the brutality of the act. I expected more blood, but I guess the bullets didn't exit his head.
I saw no-one near us, but I still ran in half-panic not wanting to risk anyone noticing me. At this point getting caught would have been catastrophic. We have long ago decided that whatever happens we need to go through our plans and there were still three people to go. I was not going to turn back. I was already a murderer.
I only stopped when my thighs were screaming in pain. I am a pretty good runner, I have a lot of stamina, partly thanks to the training NERV gave us. This means that I must have ran for at least a mile. Nobody followed me and Section-2 was still probably playing grab ass.
I dropped to my knees and vomited. This was the first time I killed someone intentionally. I looked the man in the eyes and shot him. I felt horrible from the simple fact that I had it in me to do it, not to mention from actually doing it. I hope feeling this way means that I'm still a human being. It didn't matter, because I realized that I'll go through with the rest of our plans, my humanity be damned!
The following part was written by Asuka, I just included it here. I guess she wanted to make her own little confession. – Shinji
Hello, Kaji. I guess if you are reading this you have already found out what we did. It would be pointless to try to excuse myself. I know what I've done and I'll let the moralizing to the dummkopf. You would understand if you have seen Hikari. Or Sakura, as Shinji told me.
Getting the gun was easy. The idiot that Hikari asked me to go out with always flapped his mouth about his connections to some smalltime arms dealer. His uncle or something. I went straight to the arcade he always hangs out at.
"Hey, Shiro!" I yelled when I saw him. "Wait up!"
"What do you want, Soryu?" Okay, he was still pissed that I left him waiting in line for a ride at the amusement park on our date, but it serves him right, boring me with his stupid stories.
"Hey, it's the girl that stood him up!" I heard one of his lackeys tell another. That wasn't doing much to his fragile male ego. Men can be so sensitive about such things. But you know about that, don't you?
"Shut up!" He roared back at them, trying to re-establish his status as alpha-male. This made him so predictable that I almost felt bad.
"So, can we talk? Privately?" I asked in my sweetest voice. Of course, Shinji knows what it means. I trained him well enough. "I want to ask a favor from you."
"You came back for some lovin'?" Shiro wasn't that smart. "I might be able to add you to my schedule."
"No, never." I scoffed. "I want to talk to your uncle. You know which one." I told him. "So, can you help me out?" My voice was so sweet that I almost went into a diabetic shock.
"What is in it for me?" He asked.
"I'll tell everyone that you've slept with me. And that you are the stud you tell everyone."
"I don't know. Uncle Tamura doesn't like strangers." He said, obviously wanting something more.
"If you don't I'll just tell everyone what really happened."
"Fine." He replied. "Are you sure you don't want..."
"Well..." I said like I was thinking his offer over making his eyes lit up. "I'm sure I don't want you near me." And it was gone. Sometimes I just have to love myself.
Later that day I met him where he told me to. Honestly I was a bit afraid, it was a pretty sketchy part of the city. Seemed like the place Ayanami lives at, but without the construction. He led me into a house and I was seriously considering turning and running. But my pride held me back.
"She's the one?" The man asked. I imagined him to be a big, disgusting man, like those Hells Angels I saw on the TV, but he was just this normal looking, thin man in a dark-blue suit, looking more like a simple salaryman just out of work. That eased my worries a bit, but looks can be deceiving. I mean I don't look line a highly trained, veteran soldier.
"Yep." I heard Shiro answer. "I leave you to your business. See ya, uncle."
"Yeah, tell 'hi' to your mother, I'll be over for dinner tomorrow." He turned to me, "Now, little girl, what do you want?"
"I need two Walther P22's and some ammo." I replied. The man seemed pretty decent for someone selling guns illegally, but I still was ready to run to the first sign of danger. While I lost my Section-2 detail a while back I could easily get a hold of them if needed. I hoped.
"Why? You wanna shoot rats?"
"Something like that." I answered.
"No. Go buy your guns in a store with a permit." He said. "You couldn't even pay for it. It's not cheap."
I took a wad of bills out of my pocket and tossed it to him.
"Ah, so you're some rich kid who wants to protect herself?" He smiled as he counted the money. "You pissed off some guy and now want something to protect yourself with."
It's wonderful how people instantly start to rationalize when they see some money. He went to a drawer and took out the pistol I asked for. It looked exactly like the ones we used at the range for training. I inspected it thoroughly, but nothing seemed to be amiss as far as I could tell.
"To be honest, I have a few of these I cannot get rid of." He told me, rubbing his chin. "Everybody runnin' around with Kalashnikovs, I could sell you those by the kilos."
"This will be fine, thank you." I said and paid the man.
"You know what? Call it 100.000 even and I'll give you a third one. A discount for such a pretty young lady."
I considered that. If that idiot Shinji loses his gun then we'd have a backup. And he was selling these pretty cheap. That meant...
"You wanna get rid of them bad, huh?"
"Well, I didn't get these the best possible way." He answered with a shrug. "Some idiot stole it from a NERV agent and when he realized his mistake, he needed to get rid of them instantly." He laughed.
"NERV agent?" I asked, perplexed. "They don't use Walthers."
"Nah, it was in his personal collection. Breaking and entering. How did you know that?"
"What would you do if I told you I work for NERV?" I asked. "And I'm a pilot?"
"Really?" He said, looking at me closer. "I thought you looked familiar. Tell you what, I'll give you the ammo for free, call it 'save the world' discount."
"Deal!"
That night we found an abandoned apartment near the edge of the city. With the amount of people fleeing every day, breaking into one of them was easy. Of course, I left the dirty work to Shinji. He didn't even whine this time.
He was going through some interesting changes. Ever since our decision he became quieter, which was quite a feat. These days he only seemed to talk to me. It made Misato worry, but there wasn't much to do. In school sometimes he even forgot to answer direct questions from the teacher. The only reason he didn't get in trouble was because Misato already notified the school that he may act weird for a while.
I guess all those changes got written up to PTSD or some other bullshit. But I saw the determination in him, to take action at least once and stand up to his tormentors. In any other situation I'd already be taking credit for his transformation but it didn't seem right to do so now. Still, this Shinji appealed to my baser instincts.
"Are you sure you want to be involved? I can do it alone." He said, but didn't sound so sure. I don't think he could go through it without me.
"Of course, idiot." I said. "We already talked about this."
"So... how?"
"We find out their daily routines and go at it, I guess." I wasn't sure about it either. It's true that I was trained to be a soldier, but assassination was never on the list of subjects they taught. "How hard can it be?"
"I guess."
The next week we sneaked around, trying to find the proper places to attack at. Itzuki and Akagi were easy, they both took the same route to and from work every day. Creatures of habit, I guess. We already found the proper place for both of them. Fuyutsuki and the elder Ikari were harder. They lived in the Geofront and always had a protective detail when they went outside of NERV HQ. We would figure out an answer later.
When I arrived at home after the first shooting I was extremely afraid. Apart from the full weight of what I did coming down on me I didn't want to be caught, at least not before we finished. I had to stay strong or Asuka would get hurt. I never wanted someone else paying for my incompetence again.
Misato was worried lately. We spent less and less time home, using most of our free time stalking our targets or at the shooting range. We told her that with the latest angel we felt we needed more training. She seemed to buy it. Of course, I let Asuka do the talking. I have to admit that I felt much more confident with her by my side.
"M-Misato, I-I'm home." I called out, but no answer came. At least, not from her.
"Hey, idiot, come here." I heard Asuka. "How did it go?"
"Where is Misato?" I asked nervously. While she is a pretty competent and versatile girl of many talents, subtlety was not one of them.
"Sleeping while holding Pen Pen..."
"Go figure," We both chuckled. "Yes, I did it."
"Is he dead?"
"I think head-shots will kill a man even with a .22" I said.
"How does it feel to be a murderer?" She asked with a sad smile.
"Not good." I answered honestly.
"Yeah, I figured."
"What did you do today?" I asked her.
"I went to check on Akagi a last time. We can do her together..." She said a bit more agitated than usual. But it was understandable. "Could you make some food? I'm hungry."
"Fine. If you wake up Misato. I want to see her before she finds out about Akagi."
"Are you sure it's a good idea? We should avoid her as much as possible. Neither of us are good actors."
"Doesn't matter. We'll be done in a few days, before anyone could figure out what's going on."
She just nodded and went to Misato's room. I didn't really feel like cooking so I heated some of the leftovers. Asuka is not going to like it, but I guess even she will understand. I wasn't so hungry after all.
"Hey, Shinji!" I heard Misato greet me. "What's for dinner?"
"Just leftovers."
"What?" Asuka shrieked. "You made me wake up Beerzilla for some leftovers?"
"Didn't feel like cooking." I answered sheepishly. "We could order in, if you want. I'll pay."
"Nah, I wouldn't survive that long." Misato told me. We heard some low grumble from Asuka's direction. "And I guess you wouldn't, either." Misato said, poking at her stomach.
"Okay, fine." She was cute when she blushed. I served them the reheated leftovers and sat down to watch them eat.
"What did you two do today?"
"You know," Asuka replied. "Go to school, shoot a few rounds at the range, kill a man, study for the exam next week." If I would have had some drink, I would have made a spit-take.
"Good one." Misato replied chuckling. "Shinji, are you okay?"
"Yeah, just... Asuka surprised me with that joke." I answered nervously while shooting daggers at the redhead. "She is pretty funny today. Haha." If looks could say 'what the fuck,' Asuka would be pregnant by now. With twins.
"Yes, she is." Misato smiled, oblivious to anything but the food. "There's a sync test tomorrow."
"I don't feel up to it." I said.
"You never do." Misato said. "But this is not negotiable. Both of you go." I looked at her with a bit of a pout (that usually works, so sue me). I received the stern visage of the tactical officer in return. "Not negotiable." She repeated.
"Fine. But don't be surprised if Akagi becomes pissed that my scores are down."
"Pffft, yeah," Asuka said. "Like your scores would ever go down, Wonderboy."
While Asuka was known as a notorious nicknamer, this one hurt for the obvious reasons. She must have noticed me, because she mouthed a simple sorry. I just sighed and went to the kitchen for a drink.
"Shinji, are you okay?" Misato asked after my fellow conspirator went back to her room. "You could still speak to a pro."
"No need, but thanks."
"Shinij, it's better to deal with these things now and not let them fester."
"I won't live long enough for it to fester."
"Shinji!" She was worried. Of course I know why I said that, but she probably guessed I meant the angels. With the last one, this was not a big stretch. "Don't be so pessimistic. We'll all survive, you'll see."
"Thanks, but I have a bad feeling."
"We all do." She replied and gave me a hug. "But we're here for you. Even Asuka. Don't you forget that."
"I won't. Promise." I hugged her back awkwardly.
The sync test went as well as you can imagine. My scores fell since the last test. I knew the reasons, but Akagi didn't. So she became pissy, of course.
"Shinji, concentrate!" She almost yelled. I guess such a test is frustrating for her too. And she'd be the one to explain this to my father. "You are down five percents."
"Sorry," I replied. 'Fuck you!' I added mentally. I continued and concentrated as much as I could. Asuka must have had similar problems.
"Asuka, you are down almost ten points! What the hell is wrong with you two! Only Rei kept hers steady!"
Ah, Rei. I couldn't stand the sight of her, even if I decided not to kill her. When I saw her again, I couldn't even talk to her, so I ignored whatever she wanted to say before the lockers and went straight to the EVA cages.
Asuka, on the other hand looked ready to go nuclear. I couldn't forget the glare she shot her when we met up before the security checkpoint. At first she looked surprised but soon it changed to a look of pure anger and hatred. I didn't know her hate for the bluehead went so deep.
"Shut up you blonde bitch!" She replied. "Come sit here if you can do better!"
"What was that?" She asked outraged, but calmed down. I guess it was thanks to Misato. "If you don't get your sync score up, I'll have your piloting status revoked! And next time I won't overlook your insubordination."
"Fine," Asuka grumbled something in German I couldn't understand but sounded like something an irate German trucker would say after being pissed of severely by a French customs-officer. Apparently Akagi let it slide. I didn't like the tense atmosphere and wanted out as soon as possible. We still had a job to do tonight.
After finishing and exiting, we went to the locker rooms. To my biggest surprise, Asuka came to the mens part instead of the womens. I just gawked as she started to remove her plugsuit. Mine was feeling pretty constricting at the moment.
"A-Asuka!" I said, "You came to the wrong side!"
"I don't want to be near that bitch." Then she turned to me and asked, "Can I ask you a favor?"
"Y-Yes."
"Kiss me. Properly this time." I was mesmerized. I felt I couldn't move an inch to save my life. I looked at her as the plugsuit was depressurized and hung on her limply. From my point I could see the top of her breasts. I tried not to linger my eyes on them too much lest I'd be called a pervert again. Her voice brought me out of my reverie. "Well?"
I went over to her and this time we kissed the right way. It was extremely sloppy and amateurish, as expected from two inexperienced teenagers like us, but I never felt this excited before. Feeling her lips on mine, the touch of her soft arms around my neck, the heat of her body against mine. I could have died happily.
This time everything felt completely different. It wasn't like our previous one done because Asuka was bored. We kissed for what felt like eternity. We looked each other in the eyes in silence. What happened after the kiss I won't tell you, because I'm a gentleman.
Asuka again. She asked me not to read this. I wanted to, but since she insinuated that some pretty horrible things would happen to me if I did, I had to obey her. – Shinji
I finally did it! With Shinji, no less. I guess I should explain why. The idiot still thinks we'll come out of this unharmed. Well, he thinks I will, at least. I cannot see how, but I didn't want to agitate him anymore. I figured that if something goes bad I don't want to die as a virgin. While I hoped you'd be the one to do the honors, I'm running out of time. And lets face it, Misato has the end of your leash. Such a shame.
I trust Shinji. I was afraid that he'd end up chickening out, but he came through with flying colors. I guess he is the best I can get on such a short notice. And I have to admit, he's kind of cute. But before yesterday I pegged him as totally spineless and that is not my type. Not so spineless anymore.
Do I love him? I don't think so. I don't know whether he feels the same or not, but I have suspected for a long time that he had a crush on me. I cannot say the same. He will leave me like everyone before. But I guess ever since we decided to go through with our revenge we've been living in the moment, never knowing what the future will bring. And our concept of future could be measured in days. But forgive me for rambling.
He noticed how pissed I was at the sync test. I don't want him to know what I did yesterday, while he hunted down Itzuki. You see, while he would never actually hurt Ayanami since they had some history together, I would. All that talk about following orders and not having any choice doesn't sit well with me. I'm German, you have to remember. I cannot tolerate that excuse out of principle.
The funny thing is that she doesn't have a security detail. While at least three Section-2 goons are watching us when we're at home or school, she didn't have one. Wouldn't have been hard to spot them, I guess. They aren't exactly that competent. Shinji is pretty proud how he can evade them so easily, but it's not that hard. I managed to do that all the time back in Germany whenever I wanted to sneak out to have some fun.
I saw the place she lived at and for a swift moment I had some sympathy for her. The whole place is a shithole. Shinji said how bad it was but I couldn't believe it until I saw her place. I went up to apartment 402 and stared at her door. I tried to push it and found it open.
When I went in I saw her sitting on her bed. She didn't even have a chair. When she noticed me I could see the shock on her face, but when she saw my gun, she calmed down. I will never understand it. Before she could say as much as 'hi,' I shot her point-blank. She fell to the floor, dropping a piece of paper. I only saw two words on it. 'Gomenasai, Shinji-kun' I quickly took it with me.
The next day I was happy that the bitch died, so you can guess my shock when I saw her meeting us at the security checkpoint. I guess you could see that one coming, didn't you? And the worst part was that she wasn't even injured. I put the bullet right between her eyes and added a second one just to be safe.
You can guess how good the rest of my day was. I got into a spat with Akagi, but seeing how the bitch would be dead by the end of the day, I tried to let it slide. I even recited some Goethe poem in German to soothe my mind, a bit of a concentration mantra if you will. It was funny, Shinji thought I was swearing. I didn't want to correct him.
After leaving the locker rooms I knew that despite what happened and what I wanted to do (curl up in my room and grin like an idiot for at least two days) I still had to do Akagi. No, not that way. I suck at speaking this way. Anyhow, the plan was simple. Wait until she's home, knock and shoot. Then run like hell.
I think even the fact that I was walking around free was thanks to the fact that Zeruel convinced a lot of people to leave. The city was built to be the home of several hundred thousand people, but barely twenty thousand remained after the 14th. It was almost expected by now: an angel attacks and a bunch of people decide to bail out. By now most of the town started to look pretty empty. This meant less witnesses were around. I am pretty sure no-one was near enough to hear the shots when I killed Itzuki.
Akagi, as the head scientist of NERV lived in an upscale part of the city. Fortunately rich people were some of the first to bail out so the complex only had a few occupied apartments. I was lucky, I figured I could get away before anyone would notice that something is amiss. Not to mention the fire exit next to Akagi's window also provided some emergency measures.
When I reached her door (she lived on the first floor, in apt. 107) I knocked. "Who is it?" I heard her call out. Time to put my acting face on. I had to be careful so she didn't notice the bulge in my pants. No, not that one.
"Hello, Akagi-sensei. It's me, Shinji Ikari."
She opened the door and stared at me. "What do you want?" Her question was a bit raw, but I did not expect more from the woman who authorized the death of my best friend.
"I... I wanted to apologize for Asuka. She had a rough... well... life. And I wanted to ask a few questions. About Unit-03."
"Oh." She said, a bit anxious. "Come in."
I went in and the first thing I noticed was a shirt on the floor. A mens shirt several sizes too big for her. "You have company?" I asked, pointing at it. She blushed before answering.
"My... My brother was here." She didn't have a brother. And even if she did, why would he take his shirt off? It was almost laughable that my father would forget such an item. I could imagine the mighty Commander wandering around in a coat, without a shirt underneath it. "What did you want to ask? And thanks for the apology. I guess I shouldn't expect Asuka to do it herself."
"No, not really. I wanted to know how the infection happened. I was too... preoccupied to ask before."
"Well, it happened when the EVA was in transit from Detroit."
"I thought the core was infected first."
"Who told you that?" She looked at me, but then sighed. "Doesn't matter. No, the EVA was infected, the core was only infected after it went on a rampage." That was, of course a lie.
"Why didn't anybody check? I heard that an infection is pretty evident from a core scan."
"Shinji, I know it hit you hard, but hindsight is 20/20."
"That's the same thing Misato told me."
"Because it's the truth. Do you want something to drink?"
"Water would be nice, thank you."
As she went into the kitchen I decided it was time for the truth. I didn't give Itzuki a chance to explain himself, but Akagi would have her chance. I knew I wouldn't have the same reservations about killing her. I was already pissed how she treated us like disposable components for her precious EVA's. I bought my gun out of my pant and checked it one last time.
"Here you are... Shinji!" She dropped the glass when she saw my gun pointed at her. "Put that down!"
"No. Shut up and sit down or I'll shoot you!" I said, motioning to the chair she sat on previously.
"What... what do you want?"
"You knew, didn't you?"
"Shinji, you are..."
"Paranoid?" I asked, louder than I intended. "Crazy? Out of my mind? Now answer me!"
"We didn't..." I interrupted her by shooting her in the leg. She screamed and clutched the wound.
"Every time you lie about something I already know I'll shoot another part of you. Want to find out what I already know?"
"Ow, fuck. It hurts like a bitch."
"Wanna make me stop it?" I asked, aiming for her head. To be honest, I was a lot less hesitant to kill someone in cold blood than before. I didn't have to act too much. And as much as I hate to admit it, it felt great to have some power at least once in my life. "Just say the word!"
"We knew. We did a core scan with a guy called Kazumi Itzuki. Why don't you ask him?" She groaned in pain, trying to sell the lowly tech out.
"I didn't have the time to talk with him when I saw him."
"You..." If her eyes bulged any more, I think they'd fall out. I almost had to laugh at that.
"Yes. Now answer this. What is my father planning?"
"No." She answered after a few seconds. "I don't care what you do but if he finds out I talked he'll do far worse things than whatever you have planned doing to me."
"I could ask Ayanami." I shrugged.
"Hah!" She snorted. "She's less likely to talk than I am!" She answered. I must have been distracted because she reached for her pocket and fired a gun.
Thanks to my training I reacted instantly and shot her in the stomach, making her fall down from the chair. I saw her clutching the new wound so I raised the gun and fired again, aiming for her head. She died this time.
After the adrenaline wore off I felt a pain in my sides, making me fall back on the chair. I saw that my left side was bleeding heavily. I couldn't stay longer so I made a beeline towards the exit.
I guess nobody has heard or seen anything, so I could make my escape unnoticed. My wound hurt pretty bad, but I could make it to our hiding place. Asuka was already waiting there. When she saw the blood on my shirt her eyes widened in fear.
"What happened to you?" The worry was evident on her face. It actually made me forget the pain for a second. I couldn't say this was the worst I felt. The 5th boiling me alive was far worse.
"Akagi was not unarmed." I replied and sat down the ground groaning. I saw Asuka go to the kitchen (or what used to be the kitchen) and brought a first-aid kit. "I still killed her."
"Let me see it." I raised my shirt so she saw my wound clearly. She cleaned it, which hurt more than being shot. Damn iodine. "The bullet only grazed you. You are extremely lucky."
"But that means evidence..."
"Yes, I know. You probably left enough that in a few days they'll know it was you."
"We don't have enough time to go after my father. I mean, how will we get into the Geofront with these?" I pointed at my gun. I feared we would not be able to finish it. Damn Akagi had to shoot me!
"I have an idea." Asuka said and I was already feeling better.
That part was the last that Shinji wrote. You know why. I guess I'll have to finish the confession. Ayanami somehow survived and I was livid. Is she an immortal? Is she a highlander? It's outrageous. I guess there must be a conveyor belt turning out new Ayanami's every time one of them dies. Or maybe there is a big, creepy aquarium... brrr, I don't even want to think about it.
She probably doesn't remember our last meeting because we're still free. If the Commander already knew, we'd be locked up or killed. There is definitely something rotten in Denmark, but I have no time to mull it over.
I had a serious case of deja vu as I stepped into her apartment again. She sat at the exact same spot as yesterday. It was creepy enough. You know I was never one for talk and subtlety but I had to know something. So this time I gave her a chance to talk. Looking back I don't think it was a good idea, seeing how Shinji ended up after talking to the blonde bitch.
"Hello, Wondergirl!" I greeted her. She looked up from her place and looked at me surprised. "Didn't expect me, did you?"
"Hello, Soryu. I expected Ikari-kun." She replied.
"I guess you don't get what you want." I spat at her. "Why didn't you tell him? Or me?"
"I was under orders from the Commander not to tell anyone." She replied, cold as ever. Then I saw a piece of paper in her hands.
"Gomenasai, Shinji-kun." I repeated and much to my amazement she looked at me shocked.
"You killed me..."
"I don't know what you're talking about." I replied. "You are sitting here, completely unharmed. However that spot looks like blood." I pointed at her bedsheets.
"I see." She told me. Shinji is such an idiot. He thinks the girl is even more socially inept than him... well, she is, but she's also pretty observant. I took my gun and pointed it at her head.
"Tell me, how did you come back from the dead?"
"Another clone was activated."
"How many of you have been active?"
"I'm the third."
That was a shocking thing to hear. I guess someone beat me to the punch before. "How many are left?"
"I do not know. There are hundreds of clones." I must have looked pretty shocked myself, since she looked at me questioningly. The way she tilted her head, like a sad little puppy made me realize why Shinji has a crush on her before. Well, had is the proper tense here.
"Who knows about this? Who could... reanimate you?"
"Dr. Akagi, Sub-commander Fuyutsuki and Commander Ikari."
"Then it doesn't matter." I replied. "There wont be anyone to do it tomorrow."
"Thank you." She said before I killed her again. I could take a guess why she would say that. If Shinji's depressed then Wondergirl is a Kafka-novel on heroin withdrawal. I guess I should feel a little sympathy for her. Too bad it had to end like this.
Before going off to our last targets, we went to see Sakura and Hikari a last time. We asked them to meet us at the mall. The problem was that the idiot still had a pretty big wound on his left side. It made him wince every now and then. But I took pretty good care of it, considering the circumstances.
"Hello," I greeted the girls. "Thanks for coming."
"Yeah, hi." Shinji added, not daring to look at them.
Hikari and Sakura must have been talking about Touji because both of them had tears in their eyes. Hikari looked better than the last time we've met, but she was still pretty shaken up. She must have really loved that idiot.
"We were friends ever since first grade." She said like she was reading my mind. "He was one of my closest friends, and..." She stopped when she saw Shinji.
"He knows." I said to her offering an apologetic smile. To be honest, she never asked me to keep it a secret from Shinji.
"I'm sorry," He said, trying to smile. "I just... I guess we won't meet again for a while." I wanted to admonish him for being so pessimistic, but I didn't feel much better.
"Why?" Sakura asked.
"Don't ask." I said. "I'm Asuka, by the way. I'm the friend of this one." I pointed to Shinji. "He's my accomplice."
"In what?" Hikari asked with wide eyes.
"You'll find out soon enough." This time Shinji replied and looked at me like yesterday after I made that stupid joke. "I have to tell you something. I guess in a way it's also a goodbye.
"I know we didn't know each other that well, Hikari, but I knew Touji. I..." He stopped and looked away. I put my hand on his shoulder to help him steady his resolve. "I have to tell you that Touji had a crush on you. Since seventh grade, but didn't have the courage to tell you."
That sent Hikari in a crying fit again. I hated myself for talking Shinji into this. He wasn't the best person for this sort of thing, but this was his duty.
"Sakura, Hikari..." I turned towards them, since Shinji didn't look like he'd be able to continue. "Take care of each other. And watch the news tomorrow." I stood up and so did Shinji. "We have to go."
I looked back and saw how Touji's little sister tried to comfort Hikari, who in return would comfort her. I guess at least they should be able to come out of this unharmed. I hope you will not betray our trust. Help them in any way you can! They deserve a better ending.
We walked away pretty quiet. Shinji was moping again and for once I couldn't fault him. He still felt that it was his fault that Touji was killed. Of course he knew that it wasn't, but his guilt didn't fade a bit. I must admit in the end that I have my guilt too.
It's pretty hard to write it down, even for someone such as me. Shinji assumes that the only reason I went along with his idea is because of him and Hikari. It is not the whole truth. At the beginning of his confession he said that inaction can kill as much as action. But he tends to forget that the 13th defeated me and Rei before he got his chance. I didn't like the stooge, but that was a far cry from wanting him dead or not feeling bad for it happening.
I was too caught up in my own woe, that the Invincible Shinji defeated me once again, but a look at Hikari back when I saw her first after the battle made me realize that my "inferiority" wasn't the most important issue. I'm far from being the sociopath everyone describes me.
Please, visit the address below and get the rest of this document. It is important that you read them first. In the end, this is the story of Shinji Ikari. I just told the parts of the story he doesn't know or didn't have the time to write down. – Asuka
"Do you know where we're going?" Shinji asked me.
"Of course I do!" I told him. "And if you look up I'll... well, nothing you haven't seen."
I turned back and saw him blush like crazy. He was cute that way, I know why Misato teases him all the time. We continued crawling through the air vents. It's a pretty good way to bypass the security of NERV. I remembered how we did the same when the 9th attacked, but for different reasons.
Soon we reached the one place where there weren't any security cameras: the womens restroom. Even that paranoid bastard Commander Ikari wouldn't put any here. I left Shinji to open the grate before we exited. About damn time, I was pretty cramped.
He tried to climb down, but the klutz managed to fall down and land on his ass with a pained yelp. I landed next to him in an elegant and ladylike manner. I guess I shouldn't have laughed, his wound was still probably hurting. I barely managed to stop the bleeding and it could have opened up again. I checked to be sure, but I guess the dummy was hardier than I figured.
The first logical place to search the Commander and the Sub-commander was the command center. We made our way there, hopefully missing any security guys. Or Misato. We were lucky enough, even the agents we passed didn't spare us any glance.
We were greeted by the sobbing of Maya Ibuki. The Lieutenant was not on Shinji's shit-list so I let it slide that she did nothing to stop the dummy plug. We peeked into the command center to find the two other idiots trying to console her.
"She was shot dead!" Ibuki cried out. "Someone broke into her apartment and shot her in the head."
"Sssh... calm down." Idiot #1 patted her back, "They'll find out who did this."
"Yes, Maya-kun, don't worry." Idiot #2, the long-haired one added his two cents.
Shinji looked at me with a bit of panic in his eyes. I just shrugged and mouthed him 'Don't worry.' Then I decided to step in. That made Shinji duck behind the door.
"What happened?" I asked with as much fear in my voice as I could fake. "Is..."
Idiot #2 came over to me and whispered. "Someone shot Akagi-sensei. The criminal investigators are going through the scene right now."
"When did this happen?" I asked.
"She was found only half an hour ago."
"Shit... What now?" I asked.
"They'll have to bring in someone from Germany to continue her work..."
"That's not what I meant!" I answered, yelling at the idiot. "Will this happen to me?" I hated myself, but I had to play the spoiled, selfish bitch now. I guess I don't have to act that much. Sorry, I'm starting to sound like Shinji now.
"No, it won't!" He said. "This was a one-time attack done by some amateur!"
"I... I need to speak with the Commander. Where is he?"
"Soryu-san, the Commander is very busy. He and the Sub-commander are in his office having a meeting." He replied.
"I have to talk to him."
"You can try, but..."
"Thank you," I said, ducking out of the command center. I couldn't stand Ibuki's cries. While I could understand why she was so shocked by her death, I also had to remind myself that the victim was the woman that knew very well, no, expected much in advance the infection of Unit-03. If she did the 'illogical' core scan right before the activation then she must have at least had a suspicion.
"How are we going to meet them?" Shinji asked once we were clear of C&C. "I mean..."
"Easy. I'm going to throw the temper tantrum of the century." I looked at him proudly. "And the best part is that the Sub-commander is with him."
"Let's go!" He nodded with conviction.
Things were coming to an end. I didn't even have to ask Shinji which one I should take. I knew he wanted to kill Gendou himself and I would not deny him the honor. But Gendou is a dangerous man, so we'll have to act instantly. I hoped that Shinji understood this and wouldn't try to give some stupid one-liner before pulling the trigger.
We reached the office pretty soon and saw the doors closed. I walked to his secretary.
"The Commander is busy, you cannot go in!" She said preempting my question.
"Let us talk to him!" I said. "Dr. Akagi was killed and I fear we'll be the next." I pointed to Shinji. "You know who he is? He's the son of the Commander. He'll be pretty pissed if you don't let him in."
"Yeah, right." The secretary scoffed. Shit, she knows about their relationship. Their distant, uncaring attitude was legendary through NERV, I don't know why expected something different.
"Do you know who I am?"
"Yes, you are the Second Child. You still cannot go in."
Shinji walked behind the womans desk and pulled his gun out. Before the secretary could react he shot her in the back of her head. This wasn't like the Shinji I got to know. But I guess that Shinji Ikari was finally gone. I could say it was an odd feeling to see this budding young spree killer, but I was too shocked by his last action. I guess he had it in him to do anything to reach his goals. Too much like his father, but I wouldn't have told him that comparison.
"Your method wasn't working." He must have seen how surprised I was. "But thanks for the distraction."
After a moment of thinking he pressed the call button on the desk. "Commander!" He yelled. "Someone shot your secretary!"
Soon we heard hurried steps and the door opened. And there we saw the antagonists of this little tragedy. What followed will be with me for the rest of my life. Everything seemed to go in slow motion.
I saw Shinji slowly raise his gun at his father. I remember doing the same to Fuyutsuki. They had no time to react but the utter shock on their faces will forever be etched in my memory. It still brings a bit of warmth to my heart when I think about it.
We opened fire the same time and saw them fall to the ground. Shinji didn't even stop, he was pulling the trigger even when the gun was empty. Miraculously they found that all nine rounds hit the man square in the face. I only shot the older man a couple of times myself. Shinji reloaded the gun and I instantly knew what would happen in a few seconds. Call it a premonition, womans intuition or just an astute observation, but it seemed so obvious.
"Drop your weapons!" As expected I heard a Section-2 agent yell. For a moment I considered making a last stand with Shinji, to go out in a blaze of gunfire, but reconsidered. I guess I chickened out. In the end, the boy everyone considered a wimp has chosen the 'honorable' option. Damn Japanese.
I turned and let the gun fall out of my hands. I still had some hope that Shinji would do the same thing, but I guess the ending is a foregone conclusion. Shinji turned and raised the gun with shaking hands. Before the agents shot him he glanced at me. The way he smiled, apologetic and sad. Guess it was like his life.
Sorry, this part is the hardest. The Section-2 agent opened fire, hitting Shinji two times. After what seemed like an eternity he fell to the ground. I kneeled next to him just in time to hear his last words.
"We... did it. Asuka... thank you... I love..." And he was gone, just like that. I saw tears dropping on his face and it took me a few moments to realize that they were mine. Shinji was dead.
Everything after that is hazy. I remember that I was cuffed and thrown into one of the holding cells. A Section-2 agent came and interrogated me. I got a few hits and kicks. I guess since his Commander died he felt he needed to take out his frustration on me.
If you could ask me whether it was worth it, I couldn't answer. It wasn't justice or doing what the true murderers of Touji Suzuhara deserved. It was revenge, simple like that. They killed his friend, we killed everyone involved. While our memories will be tarnished, I'd like you to remember that the boy and girl who did this also saved the world a few times. And if I'm right, I'll have to do it again. I wonder what the 15th will be like.
Guess this is the end. I don't know what else to say. When I asked to see you they agreed on the condition that I would confess and tell them everything that happened. They even gave me a pen and some paper.
I should say something profound but all I could come up with was that maybe I should have taken that last stand with Shinji. Will I spend the rest of my life in prison for the murders we committed? Or will they take my previous service in account?
A/N: This was the most fun story I've ever written, despite the ending. I was always worried that I like the characters too much to kill them off or do anything to hurt them, but I guess that's not true. It was also an exercise in writing something darker.
Also, an apology is in order for the fans of Rei. I have to admit that includes me, but the reason she became a 'villain' is that this was seen through the eyes of Shinji and Asuka. And I still probably managed to make her a touch too sympathetic.
And if you think this is a happy ending, try to consider the true consequences of their actions. What will happen with only one pilot left? A pilot who is an unstable spree killer (how many times does Ayanami count)?
Despite this intermezzo, Peacetime Warrior is still on, the next chapter is all, but ready. But since something doesn't feel right, I am going over it with a microscope. And expect a sequel to this story later.