"So Cash, shall we answer so more o' them questions?" Gideon innocently asks. Cashmere however is distracted by defacing a picture of Mabel which had slipped out of Gideon's pocket earlier. "Cashmere?"
"What?" Cashmere asks, looking up from her "work of art".
"Questions?" Gideon repeats.
"Yeah sure, though I'm not really that bothered." Cashmere bluntly replies.
Cash, What was the argument you had with your sisters? You are a weird, disturbed, mental, child, but I like you :)
- spooks (Guest)
"Well, I do not care for the second part of your "question" but even so I'll explain the story to you." Cashmere begins. "So four years ago, I was ten and Gideon was five, Gideon and his parents had come to visit my family over here in England."
"Yeah, and the plane ride was fun at all! Stuck between my trembling mother and sweaty father!" Gideon adds.
"Anyway, my twin sister, Gloss, and I were always bickering over stuff and my dumb younger sister Primrose would always try to get involved, being her annoying, pathetic, whinny self. Gideon arrived and I ignored my sisters and just hung with Gideon, as I always did. Later that night the whole family was having dinner, except my father - he was out drinking, my mother then asked what we did today and before I could answer Gloss piped up "Cashmere's just been following Gideon around like a lost sheep. It's awful mother, she's flirty and right all over him, honestly." I then hissed at Gloss to shut her stupid face (before she made the unoriginal remark about us being twins) my mother then told us both to stop it and that she wished Gloss wouldn't over react to everything. I smugly smiled but then Primrose said "I over heard Cashmere the other day talking to herself about whether Gideon does like her or not. She's really strange mummy." Ugh, I hated both my sisters so much."
"Yeah, I never though much of them either." Gideon spoke up, losing interest as the centre of attention wasn't on him.
"Later that night Gideon and I went to my bedroom to chat and be away from my awful family, but then I saw that every picture of Gideon and I had been written on with horrible comments such as "Cashmere is soooo desperate" and "When will she learn he doesn't like her", all in Gloss's handwriting. I was furious! I stormed straight into Gloss's room and before she could even open her mouth my arms were around her throat. I remember how Gideon was freaking out as I killed her but afterwards I pulled him into a big hug and promised everything would be alright, how I would blame this on one of our four maids and that no one would ever know." Cashmere continued.
"You make me sound so pathetic." Gideon complained. "I was only five and had never seen death or violence on TV...much."
"Well you were pretty wimpy back then." Cashmere laughed.
"What ever." Gideon rolled his eyes. "You gonna tell the rest then? About Primrose?"
"Yeah 'course." Cashmere agreed. "So as Gideon and I made our way back to our room we ran into Primrose in the hallway. She didn't know what had happened but I could tell she knew something was up, even if she was only eight. So we walked straight past her but then we saw her walk into Gloss's room, I quickly ran into my room knowing what I would have to do next. I picked up my knife and approached Primrose, who was knelt by Gloss's body. "You killed her?" She asked me. I nodded. "I'm going to tell!"
"No you're not, Primrose!" I threatened her.
"I have too! How could you kill her? You're evil!" Primrose cries. Then I had to stab her, for not just my protection, but Gideon could be arrested for being an accomplice. I then got rid off the evidence by washing my dna off of the handle of the knife but not my sister's blood. I then hid the knife in one of our maid's bags, knowing that she would be blamed." Cashmere then paused and smiled. "And she was. I never liked my sister's anyway."
Gideon: Okay, first of all. Make yourself taller and don't care so much about HAIR PRODUCTS! Seriously dude? I'm giving you tips to be a better villain. That is what you are trying to be, right?
Cashmere: You are perfect. Just make sure you are on the right side, kay-kay?
- spooks (Guest)
"Please," Gideon swatted the air. "I am perfect height and just cause I may be in your eyes a villain doesn't mean my hair shouldn't be gorgeous."
Cashmere then blushed. "Yeah you are. I'm hardly perfect, though I'm sure I am on the right side - we've won!
Hey Cashmere I'm just a guest but I do have something to ask you. In some countries its normal for people to marry their own cousin. Pakistan is an example. (Not a very good example but true...) So it's okay to like your cousin as more than family. Do you?
By the way Gideon, I know how to reach the portal. BUT I'M NOT TELLING YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE EVIL!
"Well, uh, you see..." Cashmere then nervously laughed. "I'm a bit young to be thinking of marriage...Don't you think?"
"Uh Cash, I think-"
"Shut up, Gideon!" Cashmere quickly interrupted as Gideon scowled.
You ever seen Futurama? Good show right there. Gideon acts like he's distantly related to Mom, I wouldn't be surprised if he were.
Cashmere then genuinely laughed. "Oh that would be great!"
"I don't get it! It's not funny!" Gideon sulked.
Cashmere, why do you like Gideon? Maybe it's because you have a different way for thinking or something... because most people like Dipper and Mabel better, but can you blame us? And seriously, I wouldn't really mind as much if you only kept her brother hostage like seriously? She doesn't have a mom and now she's lost her brother. Imagine if you lost Gideon. Think about it. That's probably how Wendy feels, if not, worse.
Gideon, Mabel doesn't like you! Try to find a girl who actually does instead of chasing down some girl that hates you.
Gideon, Dipper and Wendy getting together is far more likely than you and Mabel you know?
Cashmere, HOW COULD YOU KILL WENDY'S BROTHER?! YOU DO REALIZE HER MOM IS ALREADY DEAD AND YOU KILLED OFF ANOTHER ONE OF HER FAMILY MEMBERS?!
"Well of course I'm going to like Gideon more than those evil Pines twins, Gideon is my cousin! I love him unconditionally! Besides, I didn't know it was Wendy's brother when I killed him - that was just the cherry on top!" Cashmere evilly laughed.
"Mabel does love me, what is wrong with you?!" Gideon argued. "And Dipper and Wendy? Please!"
All right, Gideon, you wanna know what Reverse Pines? Well, first let me crack one of the codes in the journals:
THE PORTAL WHEN COMPLETED WILL OPEN A GATEWAY TO INFINITE NEW WORLDS AND HERALD A NEW ERA IN MANKIND'S UNDERSTANDING OF THE UNIVERSE. PLUS, IT WILL PROBABLY GET GIRLS TO START TALKING TO ME FINALLY.
All right, now down to the nitty-gritty. My research indicates there are 4 (5 counting Genderbent where Dipper is a girl, but I don't count that) alternate realities from yours. The following is a list of them:
Reverse Pines: In this AU, you and Pacifica take Dipper and Mabel's places respectively, and Dipper and Mabel take yours as Tyrone "Li'l Dipper" Gleeful and Mabel Gleeful. Also, Cashmere, in this universe you are a perfectly sane little angel.
Depravity Falls: Basically a darker, noir version of Rev!Pines.
Monster Falls: Everyone is a monster. Dipper is some kind of deer-centaur thing and Mabel is a mermaid. Not sure what you two are. Probably goblins or gremlins or something.
And Finally, my personal favorite, one I may or may not have accidentally invented…
Dipper Cipher: Basically, Bill Cipher possesses Dipper.
Enclosed with this message are pictures I took of each person in each universe. Now, then the big question. Now that you know about Rev!Pines, would you actually date Mabel Gleeful? I checked the rulebook, so she's fair game.
"Alternative universes? INteresting." Gideon smiled.
"Wait, what do you mean "Goblins or Gremlins"?!" Cashmere questioned.
Cashmere: Did you know that cashmere is a type of fabric made from goats hair? Were you like raised by goats or something? Also please tell me all about you and Gideon fancying each other, all the readers want to know. Pretty please?
Gideon: Tell me about when you moved to Gravity Falls and why? Also did you have any brothers or sisters? Like were any lost... or killed..?
"Don't even go there with the fabrics, girl! Do you know how much I've dealt with people laughing at my name Cashmere? And it doesn't help my middle name is Velvet?!" Cashmere moaned. "And no I was not raised by goats!"
"I think Velvet is a pretty middle name. Better than Charles anyway." Gideon complemented Cashmere. "Brothers or sisters? No..."
"I thought you did have an older sister?" Cashmere said with question evident in her voice.
"No, never." Gideon quickly answered, breaking out in heavy sweat, before turning to a seductive tone. "I think there's still part of your question you didn't answer."
"Shut up Gideon! Let's just get on with the next question." Cashmere moved along.
Gideon, just stop! Mabel is never going to date you. In fact, Mabel loves a merman named Mermando. She told me she doesn't want to date an ugly, fat, malicious psycho like you.
Deal with it!
"How dare you!" Gideon shrieked.
"What is wrong with that brat, talking to you like that?!" Cashmere comforted Gideon, although she was quite happy that it was being brought to Gideon's attention that Mabel was the wrong girl for him.
Cashmere: Do you secretly love Dipper, but you hate yourself for it, so you want to inflict as much pain upon him as possible? I think that would be kinda adorable!
- Constellation Temptation
"No!" Cashmere quickly replied. "No I do not fancy Dipper Pines!"
"Awww! That would be adorable!" Gideon purposely tried to annoy Cashmere. "Imagine, we could go on double dates with the Pines twins.
Cashmere then looked Gideon up and down, disgusted, then hit him in the arm.
Cashmere: What would you say to my friend Danny if he told you-true story by the way- that he shipped you and Dipper? Apparently Dip likes the fact that you uh...never mind...
"What is all of this about Dipper and I?! Don't you people know I love Gid- Uhh, I mean that Dipper loves that dirty ginger Corduroy?!" Cashmere sneered.
Gideon: what the hell is the matter with your mother? she's constantly shaking, terrified and get's worse when you come in the room. did you nearly kill her or something?
cashmere: Who were you hoping you killed when you shot at Wendy's brother?
Gideon: are you gay? the reason I ask this is you were acting flirtatiously when you were with that man in prison. also Mabel is really just an excuse isn't she? I mean you nearly killed her on multiple occasions without any remorse so there's your question GAYdeon.
well it's been fun considering I've been asking questions to 2 psychopaths. well I hope you both burn in hell, bye!
"Hmm, that's actually a good question." Cashmere began. "Well it would of been a nice surprise if it was one of the Pines twins, or Wendy or Stanford."
"Ugh, I don't what's wrong with my mother. She's probably crazy or something." Gideon bluntly answered.
"Suppose it runs in the family then Gideon?" Cashmere laughed.
"You're a Gleeful as well Cashmere." Gideon snaps back.
"Whatever, I still think there's a question left for you." Cashmere smiled.
"What?" Gideon looked confused. "Oh right. Am I gay? Well, you know, I don't like labels."
To Gideon: would you confess that you love like not cousin love but relationship love cashmere if someone had a plan to help you kill dipper?
To cashmere: who do you hate the most in gravity falls?
"Well, we do have a plan to kill Dipper, so I wouldn't have to confess anything." Gideon answers as though it's nothing, however Cashmere smiles as Gideon is not denying he love-likes her. "Err, Cash?"
"What? Oh right. Well, if it's not obvious: Mabel, Wendy, Stanford, Dipper - the list goes on." Cashmere lists. "Oh look, one more question."
Well, my final question would be, Cashmere, honestly, do you love Gideon as more than a cousin? Do you want to have his kids or not? XD Everyone wants to know. :D
- Alisi Thorndyke :)
"Do I love Gideon?" Cashmere then paused, going bright red and dripping with sweat. "I don't...uh...I..."
"Cashmere, do you like me? Like me-like me?" Gideon pried.
"Of course...not..." Cashmere trembled. Gideon then looked at Cashmere suspiciously before rolling his eyes at her. Cashmere breathed a sigh of relief.
Hmmm, so that chapter was longer than I thought it would be. Soz :) But anyways after much thinking, I'm not going to stop this asking fic :) It's fun, however the next few chapters will be set out differently (You'll understand once you read the end of It runs in the family) for starters Gideon and Cashmere won't be together so only submit a question to either one of them not both in your review :) Thanks :D