This was going to take some time.
Abbie made a conscious effort to not turn on the tv or the radio. She was a little miffed she was going have to miss the newest episode of Mad Men, but it was better to miss an episode than have the two hundred year old guy living in her apartment freak the fuck out.
But she knew it was going to be impossible to keep so much away from him. Like the colored pictures on her wall, her fridge, her stove, the microwave, the printed books, the light switches, fucking indoor plumbing. When her ipad gave email notification, Icahbod nearly destroyed it by grabbing the nearest thing (a potted plant) and tried to smash it.
Before she let him into the guest room, Abbie quickly disconnected anything that was electronic. She took out the digital clock, shoved the small television set into the closet, and after a minute of consideration, took out her college painting of the dogs playing strip poker.
She left the lamp in the room, not before telling Ichabod the basic mechanics. "Fascinating," he said, turning it on and off. "Who discovered electricity?"
"Um... Benjamin Franklin." Abbie said hesitantly. Truthfully, she really didn't know. She knew the story of Franklin and his experiment with the kite in a lighting storm, but that could've been an urban legend. She made a mental note to brush up on her American history.
"I've heard of Benjamin Franklin," Ichabod said, mouth curling into a grin. "Washington used to talk of him. I heard he was an inventor, but I didn't know his works would take him so far."
Now that Abbie knew Ichabod was telling the truth and was not an actual nut job, hearing him speak of the Founding Fathers in such a casual manner was a bit overwhelming. What was going to come out of his mouth next? James Madison, what a funny guy. Alexander Hamilton? Oh, he was such a ladies man.
"Well," Abbie began. "I'll let you get ready for bed. The-" Bathroom? No, wait, he was British. Restroom? "- uh... the washroom is through here. The knob on the right is for hot water, the left is for cold. I have some spare toothbrushes I can give you."
Ichabod nodded, though Abbie knew he didn't really understand. "What's that strange seat?" He asked, pointing.
"That's called a toilet. It's where you do your... business. When you're finished, make sure you push down on this knob-"
Oh, big mistake. The sudden sound of the flush had Ichabod jumping ten feet into the air and he reached out, grabbing for the nearest blunt object.
"Put that down," Abbie commanded, putting herself between him and her toilet. "Is this going to be a thing with you? I really don't want to find most of my stuff destroyed because you were surprised by them."
"I apologize," he said, putting down the snow globe. He jerked when he noticed the dancing snow and Abbie made a mental note to put it away somewhere else. "I appreciate the hospitality and I promise you I will show... restraint in my actions for the technology."
Abbie didn't entirely believe him but it was the best he could for the moment. "Thank you," she said. She snatched up her snow globe and cradled it close to her chest. "Get some sleep. Tomorrow we'll go shopping for new clothes."
She turned quickly around so Ichabod wouldn't see her face. Fuck, crap, she was going have to take him to Walmart, wasn't she?
Before she left the room, Abbie casually threw a glance over her shoulder and saw Ichabod sit down on the bed, frowning at the Egyptian cotton with its tiny flower designs. Abbie internally sighed and hoped the morning would bring new light.
When she walked into the kitchen that next day, Abbie found Ichabod had destroyed her automatic coffee machine.