In the Swamp, Hawkeye and BJ had been drinking from the still and talking about Keith and his strange arrival. They continued to speculate because it was mysterious. Then, the scenes after their meeting with him was nothing more than unique. Margaret disappeared with him into the colonel's office. Then, Keith came out alone and walked around the compound with Rifkin on his ass. Finally, Klinger and Goldman got him to play a basketball game and the former made Keith disappear elsewhere.
Hawkeye and BJ spoke of the many ways they could help Keith, but none of them specified who they had to jump over to escape the Army nonsense. Worse, they had yet to see Klinger return. This was worrisome to them. BJ voiced a concern that Klinger and Keith might have run into some trouble. Hawkeye felt the same way, but tried reassuring his friend. He was sure Klinger kept Keith out of trouble.
"Klinger is the fastest orderly on heels," he declared to BJ. "There is no way anyone could have caught them."
"Can he tackle a platoon of them with a single parasol?" BJ asked.
"With a flock of seagulls on his back too," Hawkeye replied.
As they imagined Klinger a superhero in skirts and how they will be part of the story plot sometime, Margaret abruptly entered. Initially, she appeared to be looking for someone to talk to. When she heard talk of Klinger from the pair, she grew stern. To her, this was not the time to joke around. Someone was in dire trouble and she felt they had to help him!
"Is this all you two clowns can think of?" she demanded. "How Keith can fight off his enemies with Klinger in heels?"
"Keith doesn't have enemies really, Margaret," BJ replied. "They're just…parasites."
"Annoying ones, at that," Hawkeye added. "Poly-ticks."
Margaret rolled her eyes. "Well, we need to think of something."
"Who said we had to?" BJ sat up. "We can't do much to save Keith unless he tells us what happened. I think the colonel can take care of this one."
"Where is your sense of spirit anymore? I thought you two wanted to help those in need."
"We do, but not when treason is supposedly in the cards."
"That is an ace of spades I can help with."
"How, Margaret? How will Donald and his army of officers help you from Tokyo?"
The mention of her husband in Tokyo made Margaret beam. "Well, Donald does know a few people that can expediate Keith's report, if he chooses to make one."
"How do we hide him in the meantime?" Hawkeye inquired. "There are just sick people here. Sick of their wounds, sick of the war, sick of the Army…"
"And sick of being sick," BJ finished.
"Leave it to me." Margaret's eyes gleaned with a plan. "I will take care of Keith. You two just follow orders, if you can."
Tired from the nonsense (and not bothering with waiting for a response), Margaret left the Swamp. She had every intention of finding Keith. There had to be some reason he could not talk yet. She named every reason in her head, from fright to timing. She knew Keith very well. She had no doubt that he was telling the truth.
There was something else that bothered Margaret. It was the possibility that Keith went over the deep end. Many soldiers experience fatigue from the battlefield. Even so, that did not feel right to Margaret. Keith was cool in action and better when he was wounded.
No. Keith is not crazy.
Without looking, she soon bumped into Klinger. "Watch where you're going!" she yelled at him.
"I thought you were the distracted one, Major," Klinger replied, rubbing his nose. "You're mumbling to yourself."
"I am not, Corporal! Don't you dare accuse me this anything! Now, get out of my way."
"Most certainly, Madam, if only you can tell me what else I can do for you."
"Nothing that your little scheming pea brain can't handle."
"Oh, Major Married Goddess of Beauty, let me –"
Margaret grew angry with the compliments. "Klinger, if you don't get out of my way and let me through, I will see to it personally that you are part of this court martial."
"What court martial?" Klinger drew to one side, but was still curious nonetheless. "Who's getting arrested?"
"Nobody," Margaret immediately denied. Then, she sighed and changed her answer. "I am worried about Keith Miller, Klinger."
"Yeah, his screw is a little loose," Klinger replied.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, he's been saying some strange things, like his CO talking with the enemy and stuff."
"Well, that is an accusation that needs to be investigated. Where is he now?"
"I left him under the camouflage."
"I'll try talking some sense to him."
"I don't think you can, Major. I hoped that Captains Hunnicutt and Pierce can help."
"I doubt it. Those doctors don't understand military law." Margaret waved the suggestion away. "Let me take care of this. You keep those goons out of this."
Klinger heard the order. He backed away a few more steps and went in the direction of the Swamp, regardless of what Margaret was going to do. The head nurse was happy for it. She did not care what the fools did, as long as it did not affect what she was doing. She had a plan in mind, where she and Donald will ensure that Keith was safe and not considered AWOL. Then, they would have a top psychologist check him. When that was cleared, Margaret imagined Keith writing down his report, thanking her all the whole for covering her bases. Finally, justice will be swift and Keith's CO will be arrested and tried.
Initially, Margaret did not see Keith where Klinger indicated. Then, when her eyes roamed around the netted area, she saw him. He was wandering around in circles, hands behind his back. He was disoriented and confused. When he realized where he was and who had arrived, he sat down in the dirt.
Margaret joined him. "Keith, how are you?"
The smile on Keith's face warmed Margaret's heart. He recognized her voice. "Major, it's been horrible lately. I don't know what to do."
"Why don't you start at the beginning?" she urged.
This is when Keith lost his words again. He tried telling Margaret something about Rifkin. She saw it. It was a struggle to tell her anything. Then, he stopped and sighed.
"It was easy telling Klinger," he said. "I don't understand why I can't say anything to you."
"You said that your commanding officer committed treason," Margaret said. "What happened? How did he consort with the enemy?"
Again, Keith had no words. "Major, he – he – oh, I don't know."
"You don't know what?" Margaret asked softly. She put a reassuring arm around his shoulder. "You don't know if it is treason or not?"
"No, it is," Keith insisted. "He tells me that I am the one who is disloyal."
"I cannot believe that. You are a true American."
"I am, Major. I can reassure you of that. But Colonel Rifkin has other plans."
"Can you tell them to me? What are they?"
Again, Keith could not find the words. He thought that the silence was his best answer still. Things will play out the way they need to be, but even he had doubts. Margaret Houlihan had her confidence and her lovers, including her husband. There were ways she could help.
But even Keith distrusted the officers. They will find a way to cover up what Rifkin did and the colonel will get away with it. He'd be in the one in trouble and the one sitting in a cell, waiting for an execution. Surely, Margaret had her heart in the right place. It just did not mean that Rifkin will see the inside of a cell or the end of a firing squad.
Keith fiddled with his dog tags, thinking. There was no time for playing around, he knew, but for action. As his eyes swept across the lines across the metal identification, he caught his religion, C for Catholic. Faith was something he hardly held onto, but always one he fell back on.
Then, he struck upon an idea. "Is Father Mulcahy in the camp?" he asked Margaret.
"He should be in his tent," Margaret replied. "Why?"
"I think it's time for confession," Keith told her. "I think the secret will be safe with Father Mulcahy."
Margaret understood his reasoning a little. "This will not buy you some time."
"I think it will," Keith reassured her. "You'll see."