So, doing character work my director and the girl playing Tricia and I decided that it was us that had the eating disorder instead of Frieda. That was the hardest thing for me to deal with in my role. And this is just how I h=think Marcy thought about her bulimia.
Disclaimer: I own nothing Dog Sees God…I wish I did though. It's pretty much 100 types of brilliance!
Okay, just do like Tricia told you. It can't be that hard if Tricia can do it. I mean, she is the stupid one. She's said so herself, Marcy thought as she made her way into the bathroom. After checking to make sure she was alone, she chose a stall and locked the door behind her. Am I really about to do this? she continued to think as she looked down at the toilet. She took a deep breath and decided, I have to. It's the only way I can be pretty enough for guys like CB to wanna date. CB likes skinny girls so…I gotta be skinny.
With her mind set, she knelt down in front of the toilet and leaned her head over. Afraid she was going to lose her nerve again, she just kept remembering that stupid tater tot she just had to eat off Matt's plate.
God, how could I have been so stupid? she scolded herself. She also remembered how Tricia berated her after lunch for doing such a thing.
"Marcy, you keep complaining about how CB won't give you the time of day. And you think you can solve that by getting fat and eating?" her best friend had told her.
"But Trish, it was just one-"
"One too many. Look at me, I'm a skinny-minny and I have Matt worshipping the ground I walk on."
"But you eat. I've seen you eat lunch."
"Yeah, and do you see where I go after lunch each day?"
"But what does that have to do with anyth-" Then it hit her. "You-you mean you…"
"And just look how fabulous I look. It probably just makes that fat-ass Frieda even more jealous. And she could be jealous of you too."
"Tricia, I don't know. I mean, I've never-"
"Look, it's simple. All you need to do is lean your head over the bowl and stick your finger all the way to the back of your throat to that little ball, hangy thing."
"You mean the uvula?"
"Whatever. All you need to do is touch it and bam! It's like you never ate that tater tot."
"And then CB'll like me?"
"He won't know what hit him when he sees you."
And now here Marcy was, on the floor of the bathroom about to do something she had never done before. And to be honest, she was terrified.
Look Marcy, just do it before you chicken out. Just think of the results.
Before she could give it another thought, she leaned over the toilet, opened her mouth and stuck her finger back as far as she could. She started to gag, but she kept going. When she finally reached her uvula she felt all the pressure from her shoulders rise up as the contents of her stomach fell into the bowl. She kept going until she was sure she was empty.
When she was done, she took out her finger and took a few deep breaths as she stood up and flushed the toilet. She slowly unlocked the door and walked over to the sink to wash her face and rinse her mouth. She looked up at herself and was surprised. She expected that after she did that she would feel happy and proud that se was taking control of her life and was finally going to get to guy of her dreams. But looking at herself in the mirror, she actually started to cry. She was so ashamed that she had just done that and she tried to promise herself that she never would again. But she knew that was a lie. She knew that this was going to happen again.
It'll get easier, she thought. It's easy for Tricia, it's easy for me.
She wiped her eyes and walked out of the bathroom to where Tricia was waiting for her.
"So?" Tricia asked.
"Easy as pie," Marcy lied.
"Pie? Really Marce?"
"It's just an expression Trish."
The two laughed and walked off.
So, yeah…this is definitely the hardest story I've ever written. But I've wanted to write a story like this for a while. Even though it was sad, I hope you liked it. Please review!