A Beware the Batman fanfic – Bring on the Badguys!

Written by WDCain Man

Disclaimer: Batman was created by Bob Kane and owned by DC Comics, which is owned by Time-Warner. No money is being made with this story. No profit is being made from this fanfic.

2020 was rough and I'm sorry for not putting out more stories. I'll try and do better next year. But I am experimenting here by trying something new: Subtlety. I don't spell everything out and you're going to have to read between the lines. I hope I did a good job doing this. Enjoy!

Bring on the Badguys!

Part Twenty-Two:

The Outsider


Commissioner Jim Gordon was exhausted as he glanced over the newest stack of reports put on his cluttered deck. "It never ends…"

"Heavy is the head that wears the crown," said the posh English voice of Alfred Pennyworth upon entering the Commissioner's office.

"Pennyworth? What are you doing here? I'm up to my neck as it is."

The kindly gentleman butler waved his hand to calm the policeman. "Nothing serious, Commissioner. Master Bruce just wanted me to check in on how all the new communications equipment Wayne Industries are performing for you. He trusts they are behaving at peak performance?"

"The radios are doing fine, Pennyworth. The boys say they work anywhere: Down in the sewers, in the signal dead-zones down by the county border, and even during the worst weather. They're mighty fine for what they do. They sure beat what we had back in the SEALs."

"As well as what I had while in the RAF and the SIS. Those buggers never worked properly. I can't tell you how often my mates would use them for target practice after they failed on site."

Gordon looked at Alfred with a raised eyebrow. "I had no idea you had that much of a military background, Pennyworth. I figured the only time you ever hurt yourself was cutting your fingers while polishing the silverware knives."

"I was approached by MI6 after a few years of performing on the English stage. It's not that strange. Acting is essential for espionage."

"Sounds pretty far fetch to believe you'd end up as a butler after all that. You should be an instructor at GCHQ instead of vacuuming carpets at Wayne's mansion."

"My duties include for more than that," Alfred gave a tiny smile. "Duties such as checking up on invoices to make certain that all is well. I will inform Master Bruce that the new comms work marvelous. But I am curious behind your sour disposition then. If you are satisfied with the supplies then whatever is the matter, my good man?"

"It's been a crazy couple of weeks. There's a new gang in town called the Grasshopper Gang and it's like they're entire modus operandi is just to stir things up. They're killing rival mob bosses but don't take over their territory. They bomb businesses the mobs use as legitimate fronts and just leave the cash. They sneak into the docks where they're shipping in contraband just to poison the dope. It's like all they want is chaos."

"They sound like some blokes I dealt with during the troubles with Ireland. But surely enhanced vigilance and additional patrols are digging up some leads?"

"You'd think that but so far nothing. The Grasshopper Gang doesn't deal with anyone and make zero attempts to make a place for themselves amongst Gotham's syndicates. If it wasn't for all the wonton destruction, I'd swear they didn't exist."

"You'll find them. I know you will," Alfred gave the gumshoe a comforting nod. "Gotham's defenders don't give up so easily and with Wayne Industries knew communication systems, you'll have a major advantage over any lowborn hoodlum, all on Master Wayne."

"It's not just the Grasshopper Gang given me fits. All the inmates at Blackgate and the Miskatonic Psychiatric Hospital who were on meds have gone nuts. It turns out this new doc named Brandon Crawford had been secretly switching all their prescriptions with nasty stuff. Vice is investigating and what they've told me is bad. Both joints are now packed with berserk violent criminals doped out of their brains."

"That's monstrous," Alfred whispered, the gravity hitting him. "Surely you've picked up this derange doctor and gotten answers why he did all this."

"My men have looked for him but Doctor Crawford vanished off the face of the earth. We can't find him anywhere and stranger still, despite his resume full of praising credentials, the man is a fake. His medical license and paperwork from his previous residency were all fake. He was just some crook posing as a pharmacist and he done his job. This was all planned."

"But why? I'm not seeing how this benefits anyone."

"My theory? If there were any breakouts right now than there is going to be high causalities, so that's why. This city is almost at a tipping point due to the Grasshopper Gang with all the families ready to go to war with each other. Add in a massive prison break of drugged out maniacs and Gotham will be a warzone."

Alfred whistled. "This is a dreary picture you're painting. Thank goodness for the Batman though. I imagine he's been a big help during all this. It could keep him busy for weeks."

Jim Gordon's voice dropped to a tired gravel like a worn out record. "The Gotham PD has no official relationship with the costume vigilante called the Batman. Any aid he offers, while appreciated, is never asked for or demanded by any officer in official capacity."

The British butler chuckled lightly. "I remember Parliament saying almost the exact same thing the day after my boys and I were deployed in hot spots to help cool things off. That doesn't change facts: The Batman is going to have to go all out to deal with this powder keg."

He finally had enough. Gordon ushered to the door. "Since I've said your radios work just fine then you can help yourself out. I've got too much work to do."

Alfred laughed, a bit deeper than he should have. "As do I. There's still more to do before I pull a little shindig for Master Bruce. It's my mission to make certain that boy is always happy and I know my work keeps him nice and busy; which is when he's always happiest. I will make certain he is always like this."

The burly butler turned to leave. But just as he reached the door, Jim Gordon spoke up. "I just remembered a report from two months ago that you got caught up in that terror attack with that weird snake cult. The paramedics said your arm was all cut-up but you refused to be treated. Cuts like that can lead to infection."

"I only trust my personal doctor, Commissioner. You yanks' medical practices are too barbaric for me."

"Sorry about that. We Americans aren't very good at taking care of each other." Gordon looked carefully at Alfred and down at the photo of Brandon Crawford. The guy actually had hair and a moustache and the eyes were a different color but they did have the same height and build… "We're too busy looking for threats that might not exist."

"All too true. That is what makes me an outsider." Alfred flashed Gordon a crooked smile, leaving the policeman's office. He had a party to plan…

End Part Twenty-Two…

This story was inspired by the short cartoon Batman Loves His Villains on CartoonHooligans' Youtube channel. It was a quick funny webtoon with the punchline that Alfred had been breaking out Arkham's super-criminals all for the sake of giving Master Bruce a good time as Batman.

Since this is my last update of the year, I'll list my favorites of 2020.

Favorite new game: Marvel vs. Capcom 2 on Dreamcast. I never saw what the big deal was about this game since I picked up the ps2 version. It wasn't until I got the Dreamcast version of Marvel 2 a birthday gift that I finally realized how good this game really was. I can't believe the ps2 got such a crappy port of a masterpiece.

Favorite new comic: Jason Aaron's Conan the Barbarian series. This comic was pure heavy metal fantasy and was a great break from the more G-rated superhero comics Marvel keeps pumping out. When it ended, all I wanted was more.

Favorite new cartoon: Harley Quinn. This cartoon was a hoot! There wasn't a single character or episode I didn't like. Heck, I vastly prefer this version of Kite-Man and the Joker far more than how Tom King and Scott Snyder ever presented them.

Favorite new anime: Area 88. This was one of those anime I heard of growing up but never got the chance to watch, either because it was never available at Best Buy or didn't see ads for it in my other anime DVDs. I was watching Pluto when it came on and I was blown away. This is '90s anime at its best.

Favorite new novel: Critical Role: The Chronicles of Exandria - The Mighty Nein. I know it's an artbook with some short tales between all the gorgeous pictures but I really enjoyed this. I'm surprised it hasn't been licensed out as either a comic series or a full-on fantasy novel series.

Favorite new TV show: Swamp Thing. I've been a big fan of Swamp Thing ever since DC collected Alan Moore's run in the early '00s and this show captured it to a T. The last episode felt a bit rushed but regardless it was one of the best adaptations of Moore's run. I really hope it gets picked up for a second season.

Favorite new musician: Man on the Internet. I found his channel on Youtube and I'm really enjoying his content. Yes, it's all just remixed video game soundtracks with lyrics but it's all so good. I can't get enough of it.

Favorite new movie: Wonder Woman 1984. I know it's getting bad reviews but I friggin' loved this film! I really don't understand the criticisms about it being convoluted; and I don't even have the excuse of being a long-time fan since I don't read her comic. I just paid attention and I got a spectacle of action and charm in this amazing film. I can't wait for the next one.

Happy New Year, everyone!