1A.N. wassup? So this is a story I've been meaning to start for a while now, and I figured, hey? Why not start it now, while I'm cooped up at home being ill and chiz? Sooo...yeah.
Me; LEEEOOOO!
Leo;...what now? Can't a guy get some sleep?
Me; nope. And it's not MY fault you, Percy, and the guys had an all night movie fest.
Leo;...but you could have stopped us
Me; yes. But I was using my BRAIN, and sleeping by that point
Leo;...touché.
Me; now say the disclaimer!
Leo; can't I sleep inste-
Me; SAY IT!
Leo; Rick Riordan is a guy, believe it or not. Alice here is a gal. Therefore; she doesn't own PJO, HoO, or any Rick Riordan related stuff.
Me; He speaks the truth. Now, shoo! Go read! Let us sleep!
prologue
Let's go for a picnic, they said.
It'll be fun, they said.
But did anyone mention flaming bulls? No. No sir, they didn't.
You'd think at least one person would have seen us heading towards the field and just casually gone "hey, you know that field is infested with flaming bulls with anger management, right?" But no. Apparently no one seemed to consider it useful or important.
But then; this my life. So I can't really say I'm surprised.
"ALICE? ALICE, SLOW DOWN!" Yells Jake from somewhere behind me, his voice getting muffled by some very angry mooing. In other circumstances; I might have slowed down. Might. But when I'm being chased by two impossibly sparky cattle creatures; you're just gonna have to run a little faster, my friend.
"Oh, oh sure. I'll just slow down and let those motherfreakin bonfire bulls turn me into an Alice-kabob!"
"They're not bonfire bulls, they're Khalkotaur-" oh, not again. He's gonna turn into mr bore-you-to-death-with-facts-no-one-would-ever-fre aking-care-about-in-their-wildest-dreams.
"NO ONE CARES, JAKE!"
"WELL YOU SHOULD!"
"WHY THE HELL SHOULD I CARE!? ALL I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THEM IS THAT IF I DONT RUN FAST ENOUGH, IM GONNA BECOME ALICE-SHAPED BACON!"
"...technically you wouldn't be-"
"Oh for gods sake; NO ONE CARES!" Seriously. That boy sometimes makes me wanna tear all my hair out, then throw it on the floor and stamp on it like hell-but I have this feeling I'd have more regrets than relief afterwards. Besides; he'd just lecture me about it later.
Speaking of lectures; why hasn't Jake started going on about how people do care yet? Normally he'd be in his height by now...oh god. You don't think...
"Jake?" I call out, starting to slow down, straining to hear an answer. But there's nothing. Not even a demented moo.
"J-Jake? You can stop this now." but there's nothing but a steady pitter-patter of rain, flattening my hair against my forehead in that annoying way rain does. "Jake? C-cut it out. I'm sorry, ok? just...come out. Please." I slow to a halt, my feet sloshing through a puddle as the dampness starts soaking through my tattered shorts and simple checkered shirt, setting off a rally of shivers across my entire body. "Jake? Jake! JA-"
"yup?" Asks a familiar voice, right by my ear.
"GAH!" I shriek and jump several feet in the air. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!"
"wut wuh whu fur?" Jake looks at me nonchalantly,-oh hell yes. I just said a motherfreakin big word. Take that, Ms Simmons- with one eyebrow raised; and half an enchilada sticking out of his mouth.
"What was that for?" I repeat slowly, my anger starting to boil up inside of me like a chemistry experiment gone wrong.
I spin on the spot, and take a step towards Jake. "What was that for?" Another step; and now I'm right in his annoying just-slightly-taller-but-tall-enough-to-definitely -piss-me-off face. If this boy had any sense; he'd be running for the hills. Then again; he probably thinks cuz he's my best friend I won't murder him. Big mistake, my young padawan. I narrow my eyes.
"You disappeared for ages-" I poke him in the chest. Hard."-with two motherfreakin blazing bulls chasing us-" poke "-let me think you were dead-" poke "-but all this time-" poke "-you were taking a sandwich break?!" Poke.
"Alice-" Jake starts, putting a cautious hand on my arm like I'm some bomb that's about to blow, whilst his eyes dart around nervously, never staying in one place for more than a second. Did this guy have, like, twenty cappuccinos as well as that enchilada? "Alice, shu-"
"NO! No, I'm not going to shut up! You freaking ditched me! In the rain! Whilst being chased by some messed up bulls with anger issues! Therefore; I'm gonna shout all I freaking wa-MMMMMPH!" Jake claps a goaty smelling hand over my mouth, and yanks me backwards into the trees. What the hell?! Why would he- but I-
Wait.
Jake sucks at P.E! How the hell is he suddenly strong enough to drag me backwards, note, against my freaking will?! This makes no freaking sense!
"Mmmph mm-"
"shhh!" Jake hisses. Oh. No. He. Freaking. Didn't. NO ONE SHUSHES ME, JACOB DANIELS. Without a second thought, I bite down on his hand. Hard. As. Hell.
Jake yelps, and withdraws his hand; at the same time I immediately start rubbing at my tongue with my hand, trying to remove the taste of Jake from my mouth.
"What was that for?!" He hisses, glaring down at me.
"What? It's not like I didn't suffer too! I had to bite your hand!" I hiss back up at him. World, why must you be so cruel as to make me short? "Oh, by the way; why does your hand taste like pickles and mud?" I add as an afterthought.
"Well, you see, it's cuz-wait. Why am I even answering that?! I asked you first!"
"I dont care! Besides, my question's more interesting!"
"No it's not!"
"Err, yes it is!"
"No it's not!"
"Yes it I-"
"MOOOOO." Both Jake and I freeze, mid banter, hands raised as if we were torn between throttling the life out of each other or giving them the death hug of, well; death
"Jake..." I whisper.
"Yeah, Alice?"
"...Did you just moo by any chance?"
"...No, Alice."
"...Damn." Suddenly I'm aware of hot air being rhythmically snorted against the base of my neck, as the air around us suddenly seems to shoot up by a million degrees. Without speaking, Jake slowly takes my hand, and motions for me to stay completely still. "Oh my god. Oh. My. God. It's right behind me, isn't it? It's right behind me, and it's gonna roast me alive. It's gonna kill me. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god..." I start hyperventilating, my breath coming in short, panicky bursts as my imagination goes overtime with ideas on how it's gonna kill me.
Oh, how I love being normal.
"On the count of three; run. I'll be right behind you." Jake suddenly whispers, squeezing my hand and dragging me out of my thoughts.
"W-what? Jake, I'm not leaving yo-"
"Alice, you don't have a choice." I frown, and open my mouth to argue- but then I see the look in his eyes. Jake's serious about this. Actually serious. And nothing I say is gonna change his mind.
"But you'll die..." I complain weakly, trying to find a glimmer of understanding in his eyes. But all I can see is solemn acceptance of his fate. "Ja-"
"-Ready?" He interrupts briskly, putting on his facade of the carefree, wimpy dork I knew mere minutes earlier.
"...yep." I lie. Jake, please don't do this. Don't leave me. You're my best friend.
We squeeze each others hands, and I prepare myself to run for my life.
"...THREE!" Jake yanks my hand and I splutter, taken unawares by the nonexistant countdown. Almost tripping over my ever helpful two left feet as he pushes me away from the bonfire bull, I falter for a moment, and turn around. I can't do this. I can't abandon him.
"Ja-"
"GO!" He yells, gaze lingering just slightly to the left of my eyes. "I'll be fine." You dirty liar, Jacob Woolridge. I catch a glimpse of the bull towering over Jake, the first flames sputtering out of its mouth; then I turn, unable to watch, and start running. I don't want to hear the screams.
So for once, I follow orders; I go.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-Sup? It's bob the line break-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
I don't know how long I've been running now. My legs feel like they're being pumped with liquid fire; and I'm guessing that's not a good thing. Should I mention everything's a tad blurry and tilted? Plus my head feels like its gonna explode. And the world is tinted in bright vain pink, with the ground giving birth to fantastic vibrant butterflies. Yeah...I'm doomed, aren't I?
I think I can hear yelling. Maybe. It's probably my imagination, though.
"Jake...where are you?" I whisper, my feet catching on twigs and uneven chunks of earth. I need to stop. I'm gonna collapse. "You said you'd be right behind me...but you're not. Jake..." My eyes start blurring up even more with tears. Alice, you gotta stop. Just...take a break. So what if the bonfire bulls catch up? "Jake, please...don't go..." Just take a break. Lie down on the earth. Let Mother Earth watch over you. "Don't leave me..." I stumble again, and almost don't regain my balance. Something inside me screams not to listen to the voice. Just lie down...take a rest...
Through the magenta haze, I can barely make out a fuzzy light...there's yelling...a lot of yelling...suddenly my legs won't cooperate, and I crumple to the ground like an unwanted rag doll. Rest child. Rest and sleep.
Someone is leaning over me. They look...familiar...
"J-Jake..." I whimper hoarsely, a single hot tear leaking out of the corner of my eye. Sleep, child. The person looks...worried. Weird. No one's ever been worried for me. That is...except for Jake. Jake. C'mon, Alice, stay strong. Just...stay...wake...Damn you, voice. Cuz I sure as hell ain't- and I embrace the dark and empty slumber like a five year old getting a tangerine dolphin pillow pet. Named Bubbles, coincidentally
A.N. so, what'd y'all think? So excited, as this is gonna be my first proper ff! Hopefully y'all liked it. Flames are welcome! That is; as long as they're nice. If they're horrid; I'm donating them to Festus. And my campfire. And then I shall make s'mores! : D btw, as this is my first proper ff; free blue s'mores, cookies, and tacos for all! *gives said food*
Leo; YAY!
Me; Leo, they're not for you. They're for the reviewers. And you're not a reviewer. Besides, I thought you were asleep...
Leo; *grumbles* i woke up. anyway...i bet you'd give them to percy...
Me; he's my bro, dumbass. And who says I'd actually give him any at a-
Percy; *yawns*did someone mention blue food?...
Me; TAKE IT! Take as much as you want!
Leo; *facepalm*
...R&R, guys! *Brofist!*