3Disclaimer: I do not own this maze of bone and flesh and word and wit. But I do swear, that if I dare, I'll make something of it.
A/N: Thanks to TheBlueFoxtrot A Samba, for the use of her prompt list. Go check out her own Crack Pairing That Could in a fic called "One at a Time."
For Dark Lord of the X-Men, to tide you over while I work on the long one.
A further note: My friend Marlin-Rae on Deviant Art is in need of plane ticket money, and does commissions! Fanart or original, as I understand it, so if you want to see some cool, quality artwork and want to help a gal out, here's a link. I'm sure you all know what to do with the spaces. marlin-rae. deviantart .com
Lock
She promised to stop locking her door if he promised to stop breaking it down.
Unknown
There was something… irresistibly mysterious about this strange man in the mask.
Highway
He wasn't entirely sure what "my way or the highway" meant, but the pretty ninja with the purple hair was interesting, so he decided to go along with Fury's plan –this once.
Eclipse
Betsy was having trouble figuring out why she couldn't stop thinking about him.
Hope
Sure, he's crazy. But isn't this part of being crazy? Hoping for things you have no right to hope for? And he definitely has no right to hope for her.
Search
"I've been looking for you a long time, sock-head. Time to die!"
Talk
Every time they actually try to talk about them –whatever they are –she gets confused and he gets bored and eventually, one of them kisses the other and they stop talking entirely.
Wait
Patience is a virtue, but Wade has never exactly been the picture of virtue to begin with. He gives in and calls her back three minutes after they hang up.
Whisper
Her voice is soft when she tells him she loves him, because it's always easier to pretend it never happened if it was barely there to start with.
Overwhelmed
He stared at the sight before him. His voice was awe-filled as he said, close to tears, "She went to Chipotle's…"
Forever
"I missed you. So much."
Lies
He tells her he'll be back in a couple of days, but it's weeks and weeks before she hears from him and even then, it's only a phone call connected through Logan and she's sort of glad, but mostly mad because he said he'd be home soon and he lied.
Laugh
When Nick Fury learns about the relationship between Betsy Braddock, the psychic ninja, and Wade Wilson, the ever-effusive-hater of all-things both psychic and ninja, he throws back his head and laughs and laughs and laughs.
Fever
She's sick. Oh Stan, she's sick, she's sick, she's sick, and what does he do? This doesn't happen to him, he doesn't know, he doesn't know, has to call someone, ohjosswhatdoeshedo…
World
He doesn't really know which thread of the multiverse he popped out of –and he doesn't really care. All he knows or cares about is that, whatever world he's in, she's there with him.
Farewells
"Stop leaving."
"I wish I could."
"I hate Fury."
"I know."
"I think I should pay him a little visit."
Beat.
"Wade? Why are you laughing?"
Sacred
Logan stared down at the piece of paper in his hand, announcing doom and destruction and the probable end of the world in thirteen simple, horrifying words.
You are cordially invited to the wedding of Wade Wilson and Elizabeth Braddock…
Body
One of the mooks tries to kill him by stabbing him in the stomach. It doesn't work, of course, much to the mooks bemusement.
It's his turn to be bemused though, when Psylocke tries to kill the poor guy for "scarring up her property."
Forgotten
In the back of Wade's mind, the small part of him that rebelliously declared that Bea Arthur was the only woman for him seethed at the way he'd completely overlooked the actress' birthday in order to go out with that purple-haired ninja babe.
Ice
"Stan, Wade! You're freezing! Where did Fury have you go anyway, Siberia?"
"…How did you know?"
Mask
He stops covering his face when they're alone because she gets annoyed when he hides from her.
Strength
Fury rolled his eyes at the sappy look on Wilson's face as the man stared at the purple-haired girl in awe.
Honestly. It wasn't like the man had never seen anyone beat Logan in arm-wrestling before…
Fire
Her face is burning, but she tries to ignore that fact and make it through this family reunion. She will not give Wade the satisfaction of watching her die from embarrassment at her parent's dinner table.
Journey
"I swear, Wade, if you don't stop singing that song, I'll give you something to stop believing in."
Silence
She wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing that the guy who had broken into the apartment was no longer screaming.
Talent
She stared at him in somewhat horrified fascination –she'd honestly never seen someone eat a chimichanga that fast before.
Dream
It said something very strange about Betsy's life that she only realized she was dreaming when Wade didn't come back to life after being shot in the head.
Promise
"Don't ever die," she ordered him, clinging tightly to his chest.
He looked a little confused, but agreed, knowing that it was one promise he could keep.
Cover
"I swear," he said from behind the t-shirt she had flung over his head when he appeared in her bathroom right as she stepped out of the shower. "This is a total coincidence."
Dance
There was something aesthetically pleasing about watching Wade with a katana. The ninja in her appreciated the line of the blade as it cut through the air. The woman in her appreciated the hands and shoulders wielding the blade.
Hero
When Betsy's niece tells her that, "the other day, my kitten got saved out of a tree by a scary man in a red and black mask," she smiles secretly to herself and resolves to call Wade and thank him later.
Ring
Diamonds are a girl's best friend… but Betsy loves her plain, black metal band because it was the one Wade was wearing when he staggered out of the explosion, pieces torn out of his face and slowly growing back, to ask her to marry him.
Red
He's the spider to her fly sometimes, she thinks. Luring her in, then ensnaring her so completely and totally that she knows she'll never ever want to get free.
Candle
"Happy Birthday, dear Wa-ade… Happy Birthday to yooooou!"
"Wade, honey, you do realize you're singing to yourself in the third person, right?"
"What's your point?"
Box
The little yellow box is back, and normally this would be a good thing, but right now, all it's saying is CALL HER in big capital letters, and since he isn't actually thinking this at the time, this is sort of confusing.
Memory
Sometimes, when he slips between worlds, he's not quite the same. Looks different, acts different, feels different. The only thing that always stays the same is the fleeting rush of memory of purple hair and a glowing katana singing as it slices the air.
Run
When she first realizes that she's falling for him, it freaks her out, and she takes off, running anywhere and everywhere she can think to get away from him. This lasts for about a week before she comes to her senses and goes home, only to have him show up on her doorstep five minutes after she walks in, panting like he's just run a marathon and saying, "Whew, am I glad you got that outta your system. Wanna make out?"
Fall
"Let's just get one thing straight here," she said, narrowing her eyes at the people surrounding her. "I did not fall for him. He totally tripped me."
Hurricane
She doesn't know where this storm came from, or why it brought with it a masked man with a sword strapped to his back, but she does know that she never thought that she'd be grateful for a hurricane.
Wings
"Wade. Stop. Singing. That. Song."
Cold
She feels cold, though she knows this is ridiculous, because it's ninety-five degrees in here, but there's something that's just positively chilling about looking into the eyes of the man you love and seeing a stranger staring back.
Gravity
Is a harsh mistress, and no one knows this better than Deadpool: though, knowing him, he probably doesn't mind it too much.
Drink
"An' then," he slurs, with the careful articulation of the particularly drunk, "I was all, pow! And she was all whoosh, and we both had our katanas out an'…" he trailed off with a shudder as the drink passed through his bloodstream.
Sigh.
Five whole minutes. He'd managed to get drunk and stay that way for five whole minutes. A new record.
Sometimes this regenerating gig wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
Formal
"M'lady," he grasped her hand in his and lifted her onto his motorcycle with all the formality of a dignitary in a stretch limo.
She would have laughed if she didn't know he was holding a grenade in his other hand.
Midnight
The darkness slides over her skin like silk, and his fingers crawl behind the darkness, caressing. His hand palms her cheek, tracing gently over her cheekbones.
Her fingers get trapped underneath his mask, until he pulls it off and lets her stroke his scars.
Temptation
"C'mon," he wheedles, flashing her a smile only Wade could produce –three parts dazzling, one part rogue, and about five parts crazy (Betsy will do the math later).
View
She's looking at the view from the rooftop they're perched on. He's looking at her. She says, "What a beautiful view."
He says, "You need to get out more."
Music
The katanas sing, which is something that no one had ever understood before, except Wade. But then there was Betsy, who's katana wasn't even real, it was just made of psionic energy, but it was real enough, and Wade knew it because when it came slashing towards his neck for the first time he could hear its voice, rising in an aria (or maybe just a death shriek, it was hard to tell sometimes) and Wade fell a little bit in love. With the katana.
Breathe
He kisses her, kinda like he's got something to prove, which, maybe he does, because look at all those disapproving X-Man faces. Betsy doesn't know if it's Deadpool they don't approve of, or if it's Psylocke, who wouldn't join them in their quest for world peace but has clearly joined him in his… whatever it is. She doesn't actually care though, because Wade is sucking the breath from her lungs like some sort of weird reverse-CPR, and she's got to give as good as she gets to get anywhere in this relationship, so she deepens the kiss, just a little bit, and then presses her advantage to leave him breathless.
Silk
She wears silk on their wedding day –partially because she's getting married, and partially because it hides the skintight suit she is wearing underneath the dress. What? Just because it's her wedding is no excuse for not being prepared.
Besides, she knows that Wade is packing like, half of a Russian military surplus store on his person. How his tuxedo fits over it all, she'll never know.
They have chimichangas for the reception, ninjas attack because that's just what happens to them, the X-Men were all prepared too, fancy that, and after it's all over, Wade and Betsy end up having their honeymoon on a deserted tropical island, which is quite a bit different from Paris, but certainly not worse.
It's midnight, and his hands on her face are like silk.
A/N: Most of these were supposed to be romantic. Oops.
To my Wetsy lovers. Bless you all.