Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Spoilers: Vague references to Jeanne and Wendy.

Warnings: MMMMMMMMMMMM. ~ Consider this a warning. Not for kiddies. Also, use of a toy, but a toy that's also not for kiddies.

Notes: If you read this fic and, halfway through, get confused and go, "No way. Tony reacting like this? Really?" then I may have the answer for you! :D Please read the A/N below for more notes.




"Oh, no."

Ziva grinned as she held the object aloft for Tony to see. His face contorted at the sight of the pale pink silicon, and he backed away, looking more horrified than she had ever seen him.

"What is that?" he asked in alarm.

"A vibrator." She waved it around for a bit—more to annoy him than anything else—before leaning closer and dropping her voice to a husky tone, "Have you never seen one, Tony?"

"I've seen a vibrator." He licked his lips nervously. "That's not a vibrator. That's a cock ring."

"That vibrates." She shrugged. "So, to all intents and purposes, it is a vibrator."

"No, it turns me into a vibrator!"

"And you have a problem with that?" she asked calmly.

He spluttered. "I just-… I'm a traditional man. I like to please my women however they want me to, but I've—I've never used one of those before…"

"Huh." She frowned, lowering her hand to drop the cock ring back into the small, innocuous box it had been shipped in. "You have never used a cock ring before?"

"I have, in college. But it didn't vibrate." Tony lowered his eyes, lifting a shoulder and dropping it. "And I just … never found a use for it after … y'know, I grew up."

"You never found a use for a cock ring," she remarked, equally puzzled and sceptical.

"Well, forgive me if I thought my own hands were enough," he shot back sardonically. "I lost it, okay? God knows where, and I pity the person who found it. But it's been lost for more than a decade, and I never looked for it and I never got another one. I didn't see the point. I didn't think, ten years ago, that I was going to need to spice up my sex life again—whether I was alone or not."

She sighed. She heard the unspoken words in his speech—he had stopped looking, stopped experimenting, after his engagement with Wendy had been broken off. Excepting Jeanne, then, Tony had never been in another committed relationship until now; Ziva could easily see how that would have affected his sex life.

Moving forwards, she cupped his cheeks gently. He accepted the brushing of her lips against his without question, but his breathing was stilted and his voice shaky when he hesitantly asked, "Is it … not good enough for you?"

"What, the sex?"

His head movement managed to be simultaneously a nod and a shake of the head.

"Of course it is." She stroked his skin with her thumb. "Why would this make you think it wasn't?"

"Because … you wouldn't need a sex toy if I was good enough, right?"

"Are you jealous of a sex toy?" she asked with mild amusement, and he jerked away in embarrassment.

"No." His face flushed. "I just-… I'm-… It-… There's no way for me to say this without sounding like a jerk."

"Try," she encouraged quietly.

"It's just an additional thing, okay?" he answered just as quietly. "If I were good enough, then there'd be no need for an additional thing, right? So, I must be doing something wrong."

"You are doing nothing wrong," she assured him. "The sex toy, Tony, is a tool—like a phone for communication or a car for travel. We don't need those things but we have them because they make life better. This toy would make our sex lives more interesting. We do not have to try it if you don't want to. But I want you to know, Tony, that sex with you, without any toys, has always been out of this world."

"Okay," he said, but he didn't look convinced.

"Think about it this way: If I really did not want to have sex with you, do you think all the sex toys in the world could entice me?"

He chuckled, his cheeks turning darker than she had ever seen before. "I guess not."

"So, then, it must be a good sign that I am wanting to bring sex toys into play, yes?"

His cheeks turned even redder, and he looked away with uncharacteristic shyness. "Yeah," he admitted.

She beamed, leaning forwards once again to press a firmer kiss to his lips. "In that case, I think you have nothing to worry about."

And then his shoulders relaxed, the tenseness in his figure going away as he looped his arms around her waist to pull her body close to his.


"Let's try it."

Ziva looked up from where she was stowing the toy away to see Tony standing, lips pursed and arms akimbo, over her. His determined expression was all the more worrying; as she stood up, she drew him a little closer to study his face.

"Are you sure?" she asked, and his right eyelid twitched.


"You're not sure," she hazarded a guess, and his mouth did an odd grimace.

"No," he admitted in a defeated tone, "but I wanna try."

"We don't have to force this."

"You're not forcing me … I'm forcing me."

She placed her hands on his chest, hoping to ground him away from all his anxieties. "Why?"

"'Cause I've been having the same goddamn vanilla sex for the last ten years, and I just haven't had the kind of relationship where I—" he cut himself off, staring nervously at her, "—I can try things. And … I can try them with you, right?"

She smiled. "Of course."

"You're absolutely sure?"

"Yes." Using his body as support, she leant up on tiptoe to kiss his lips. "It will be the first time for me with this particular contraption too, you know. We will discover it together, yes?"

He laughed shyly. "That would be nice."

"It's a deal, then," she answered with a grin. "I think you and I have a date in the bedroom tonight. Don't be late."


"Tony, relax."

"I am relaxed."

"I think the wrong bit of you is relaxed." Ziva bit her tongue as Tony's shoulders slumped, and she let go of his dick to slide her arms underneath his and rub his back in slow, up-and-down motions instead. He shifted on his feet.

"I'm trying," he murmured.

"You and I both know that 'trying' will get us nowhere in this case."

"Well, what do you suggest I do? I can't just not think about it."

"Why not, hmm?" she teased lightly, moving her hands downwards to cup his ass. At her gentle pinch, his hips jerked of their own accord into her, and she grinned. "Well, hello there."

He chuckled and rested his head against hers, laying his own hands on her lower back. "This feels good."

"Yes?" She tapped his bum before resuming the massage. "Perhaps we should try anal sex instead."

"Hah!" he laughed. "You got something to put up my ass that I don't know about?"

"You already know about my foot, so I don't think it counts," she answered smugly before purring, "but if I did have a dildo, I wouldn't be putting it up your ass."

"Miss David!" She could practically hear the lewd grin in his voice at his words. "How kinky."

She squeezed his ass and dropped her voice to growl, "I am a woman of many secrets, Mr DiNozzo."

"You gotta share those secrets with me," he answered hoarsely.

"Yes?" she asked calmly, continuing to knead his flesh. "And what do I get if I share with you?"

He moaned faintly before replying, "Um, free playtime with me?"

"I already get free playtime with you," she pointed out. "I am looking for something a little more … substantial in nature."

"Like what?"

She hummed quietly. "A new knife, perhaps," she teased. Allowing her fingers to drift to the dips in his hips, she pressed down gently. "Perhaps even a Swiss Army Knife with several knives. And a corkscrew. I'd like that."

Tony sniggered. "What the hell do you need a corkscrew for?"

She winked. "You never know what you could do with a corkscrew."

He shuddered when she grazed her fingertips across his abdomen and then dropped her right hand to skim over his balls. "Oh, god."

"Hmm." She covered his sack with her palm, and his dick twitched in response. "I never knew you found my abilities so … arousing."

"I find the way you say 'arousing' arousing."

She chuckled. "Well then," she breathed, finally allowing her fingers to brush up the length of his cock, "I must be very skilled."

At that, he buried his face into her hair, and she could feel his laughter reverberating throughout her body. "Oh, you are," he assured her, and his voice was muffled but his meaning was clear. She smiled and continued to touch him.

For a moment, the room was still except for her hands. One palm gripped the underside of his shaft while the other hand sent fingertips tripping up his length; when the same fingers reached the top, she wrapped them around his head and twisted her wrist. His body jerked into hers once again. She brushed a thumb over his slit and held his shaft with both hands, pumping up and down. His breathing grew ragged, and he lifted his head to watch her work him.

"Now," he said suddenly, and she didn't give him time to second-guess himself. She reached over to the bed to grab the cock ring; stretching it a little, she pulled it over his engorged tip and laid it at the base of his length, turning it so that the attached vibrator rested against his scrotum. Then, she pressed a button.

"Oh!" he cried out when the ring started moving. When he looked up at her, he was wide-eyed and appeared somewhere between stunned and excited. His voice gravelly, he said, "Oh, that's different."

"Yes?" She smiled, rubbing her thighs against each other.

"Yeah." He began to stroke his cock with both hands, only to have her bat his arms away.

"I believe that's my job," she remarked possessively, and he smirked. Taking over from where he had left off, she ran her closed fists down his length once again. Tony inhaled deeply and wrapped his arms around her waist, his fingers digging into her back, and she squeezed him and wriggled out of his grasp so that she could lower herself to her knees. Once at her intended destination, she popped his tip into her mouth. The vibrations travelling down him were not pleasant, but she still sucked on his tip until he groaned before she stood up again.

Quick to take advantage of her momentary disorientation, Tony swung her onto their bed. She landed more gracefully than he had probably anticipated, but he managed to clamber onto the bed before she could right herself, anyway, to pursue her with a glint in his eye. She crawled backwards on her elbows to prop herself against the pillows lining the headboard; he followed her on his hands and knees. It gave her quite a sight, him with his legs wide open and his dick just vibrating in mid-air. She reached out to grab him, and he stopped mid-crawl, his breath coming in short, harsh gasps.

"How do you feel?" she asked.

"I need to—" he grunted roughly before fixing his fingers around her hips abruptly. "On my shoulders."

Confused, she obliged, hooking her knees around his shoulders. He reached out to slip two pillows underneath her back, and she barely had time to prepare herself before his nose and lips were buried in her folds.

She couldn't help the groan that came next. He licked just shy of her opening, going below and above and over her folds instead, and ignoring her when she wiggled her hips to get him to pay attention to other areas.

"C'mon," he rumbled, bringing her hands up so that she could hold her nether lips apart. His own hands were thus free to graze over her thighs for a while; when he licked upwards, his hands drifted away to cover her breasts. She moaned.

"You are the master of this," she managed to choke out, and he snorted into her.

"Would you like to tell that to your girlfriends when you go for lunch after shopping on Sunday?" he asked sarcastically, lifting an eyebrow, and she made a face at him.

"Shut up."

"Don't forget oral's not the only thing I'm good at—"

"Shut up, Tony."

He grinned and returned to eating her out. She cried out when he finally lapped her clit in small, rhythmic movements, and her hips shook when he wrapped his lips around it to suck gently. His fingers left where they had been caressing her breasts to hold her steady instead, and she closed her eyes and tried to keep herself in control. That turned out to be the wrong move, though; it made the sensation of his tongue dipping into her opening all the more intense. Again and again and again his tongue repeated the movement, until she was groaning in tandem with it. Weakly, she shrugged a leg off his shoulder and opened her eyes to see him looking questioningly at her.

"I'm going to come," she explained, and he laughed breathily.

"I wouldn't object to that," he replied, but helped her down and removed the pillows from under her back. With her body lowered enough to see more than his face again, she looked up just in time to see him pleasuring himself.

"Tony," she moaned huskily, and he pressed the quick-release on the cock ring and tossed it aside to where it lay trembling on the bed. She furrowed her eyebrows.

"Too much," he panted, his voice strained. "I wanna do things same as always first, and we'll come back to that later."

Chuckling, she beckoned to him with a finger. He needed no further prompting, and gingerly crawled up her body, allowing her to indulge in kissing him. A nip to his upper lip later, he pulled apart and asked her, "Ready?"

She nodded. He pushed a finger through her folds to test her; what he found must have satisfied him, because he began pushing his tip in next. She breathed in deeply and struggled to hold back the moan that wanted to escape her mouth. Before long he had his length buried in her, though, and she couldn't stop her whimper when he started to move back and forth inside her. Slowly, gently at first; and then much faster, and she moaned loudly when he squeezed her breasts.

"More," she groaned, and he thrusted harder. She pulsed her inner muscles around him and watched as he clenched his jaw and closed his eyes, the sensation too much for him to handle. He gave her one more thrust before pulling out completely and placing the cock ring back onto his dick with shaky hands. The vibrator turned upwards this time, he thrust back into her in a single, unhesitant motion.

In that moment, she felt the earth shatter.

Oh, she was no coy woman. She had used a vibrator before, one of those designed to stimulate her in two places at once while she pleasured herself; none of that, however, could compete with knowing that the warm hands against her ass were not her own and that the vibrations inside her, coming from the length that was simultaneously soft and hard and hot, were nothing close to mechanical —at least, not directly. She arched her pelvis upwards when he pressed into her and allowed her to feel the vibrator against her clit.

"Oh my god, move," she wailed, but he merely grinded against her until she could feel her muscles start to flutter. It was then that he began to move, eliciting an angry scowl from her, but he stayed his course, only moving one hand to her clit to rub gently. She dropped her head back and gulped for air, all while he kept moving below.

He was thicker than usual. The cock ring had made his erection stronger, and she could feel his length acutely, sliding against her inner walls like it belonged there. She could tell that everything was intensified for him, too— written all over his face was the exertion of holding back. She decided to move things along; dropping her own hand to her clit, she tangled them with his fingers and made him rub harder. She swore she grew even wetter, and knew that he could feel it, because his breaths suddenly became much shorter and quicker.

With one particularly forceful thrust, the world flew apart for her. She could feel her inner muscles contracting around his length as he jerked a couple more times and then exploded into her. Tony's whole body shuddered as jet after jet of hot liquid was released into her, and she squirmed at the feeling, the fingernails of her free hand digging into the bed at the molten rush flooding her body.

Eventually, she regained enough of her senses to take a deep breath. Tony pulled out of her and laid her ass down onto the bed before releasing the cock ring again. He avoided her gaze as he placed the toy to one side, and that worried her, but before she could sit up to check on him, he was seeking out her embrace.

Lying flat on soiled bed sheets, just as butt-naked as her partner was, she held him.

He was silent for a long time, merely breathing quietly into her hair. It took a long while before he said, "Thank you."

"For what?" she asked. "This seems an odd thing to say after sex."

He chuckled quietly. "For what I just experienced."

"It wasn't a favour, Tony." She regretted her words when she felt his heart racing away against her skin, and so she rephrased, "Sex is always going to be you and me, Tony. You and me, not you to me or me to you. Do you get that? The only time I am going to not want something with you is when you don't want something with me."

"You'd think I'd get that," he murmured, and she knew that the bitterness in his voice was directed towards himself rather than at her.

"I think you do." She turned her head slightly so that she could brush the corner of her lips against his skin. "But your insecurities let you forget it sometimes."

"You gonna tell that to your friends over lunch on Sunday, too?"

She laughed despite herself. "No," she answered, rubbing his back slowly. "I think this is for your and my ears only."

A/N: Oookay ... this whopper of a fic came about when I got a request from Anne to write, as I quote, "vibrator smut". At first, I thought about making it something fun and simple; and then I started to think about what using a sex toy would mean to Tony and Ziva, and I felt that the introduction of a sex toy, especially one used on Tony rather than by Tony on someone else, would not be simple.

The reason for this, though, is simple: Tony comes from a different walk of life. It is evident in the fake machismo with which he sometimes carries himself; in the way he struggles to be vulnerable; in his need to protect women and children. Tony is not sexist, but he has been brought up with the belief that he, as a man, should be at least capable of providing for others. Add to that the fact that, compared to women, men (of his time) never had the platform in the likes of Sex and the City and a larger women's sexual revolution to discuss sex toys and untraditional sex-related issues, and it is likely that the introduction of a sex toy into Tony and Ziva's relationship would be momentarily intimidating to him.

And that's where this fic came about :) rather than making it a fic that's purely about sex, I decided to have Tony and Ziva deal with this issue. Maybe you agree with me; maybe you do not. Either way, I hope you enjoyed reading. Thank you; I appreciate it!