A/N: I should be writing college essays right now. *writes fanfiction instead*

Amelia was thirteen when she first took interest in the males of her species.

The Doctor was less than thrilled.

One minute his Pond would be contentedly walking alongside him, listening intently to that day's lesson about the subtleties in color patterning between different sub-species of an alien race, and the next he would cast a glance to where she should have been only to find he had been delivering his dissertation to thin air. A quick survey of his surroundings would reveal a bright flash of red hair, chatting animatedly to whichever male of her species had caught Pond's eye.

And any attempt to dissuade her was doomed to failure. He would buzz about her, chatting on about nonsense in a desperate hope of leading his Pond far, far away from the young male. He was usually rewarded with eyerolls and huffs of breath that sounded suspiciously like, "so overprotective" before she resumed in her endeavors to attract her fellow human. With her bright hair and brighter smile, she was almost always successful.

Eventually chaos would find them-as it inevitably did on every planet they landed on-and the Doctor would make no attempt to hide his glee when Amelia finally lost interest in the male in favor of partaking in the latest adventure. (He would still throw a glare over his shoulder for good measure. Honestly, Pond was far too young to take interest in finding a companion of her own.)

He knew that one day Pond would want to go on a date. He lived in dread of that day.

So when Amelia sidled up with an offering of jammy dodgers and a placating smile as he worked at the console after their latest adventure, he was immediately suspicious. They had yet to take off from the planet where they had been involved in solving the robbery of a precious national treasure, and he knew that his Pond had taken a particular interest in the son of one of the governors. (And to his never-ending displeasure it seemed the son had taken an interest in her as well).

"Doctor…" she began, her voice overly sweet and her expression far too innocent. "Do you remember that boy, Zed? He invited me to go anti-gravity minigolfing with him tonight. Would it be okay if I went? I promise I will be very careful and look out for strangers and I'll be back before the third sun sets!"

The Doctor grabbed a biscuit from the plate before taking a bite in an attempt to gain himself some more time.

It had always been at the back of his mind that little Amelia Pond was probably going to one day grow up and take interest in the other half of her species. Perhaps she would even want to find a spouse and have little Ponds of her own. But he usually squashed those thoughts far, far, far away, tucking it into a dark corner where he hoped he would never have to deal with it.

Unfortunately, time waits for no man's denial.

He glanced back at Amelia, who was looking at him with those big, bright eyes that he could never say no to. He groaned inwardly, knowing already that resistance was futile. This little human could get him to agree to just about anything, and she-quite unfortunately-knew it.

"I guess we could stay on the planet long enough for one rou-" He was interrupted when she squealed in glee, pressing a kiss to his cheek before darting off to her room, tossing a "Thank you, Doctor!" over her shoulder before she rounded the corner.

"I don't suppose you could just lock all the doors and keep her inside?" He pondered aloud to the TARDIS. He was answered in the negative, and he also got the distinct impression that she was laughing at him.

He shook his head.

Of all the things in all of the universes he had shown her, she just had to take an interest in boys.

He was definitely too old for this.