Some Kind of Growing Pains
Stephan and Damon were okay - Caroline was okay. It could mean one of two things; either they weren't turned by Klaus' bloodline, or they were okay. I prayed to whatever god that was out there that - just this once - it was what I wanted to happen.
Because if they were fine then so was Sam.
But I was terrified. I was terrified that Stephan and Damon were alive because Klaus hadn't started their bloodline. And I couldn't know for sure either. Sam wasn't picking up her phone and there was no way of proving anything else.
I tried again.
Hi. You've reached the voicemail of Sam Collins. I can't come to the phone right now because you're not important enough or I'm avoiding someone. I will call back eventually - unless you're the person I'm avoiding. In that case fuck off you dick.
I ran my fingers through my hair in exasperation. It wasn't just knowing if Sam was alive anymore. I hadn't told her. I hadn't told her I loved her and if she had died not knowing that…
Something shifting in the room next to mine told me Elena was awake. If nothing else I was grateful that my sister was alive. But maybe the price she would have to pay was too much.
Elena could die. Or she could complete the transition and become one of them.
Nothing good had come from vampires coming into our lives. If there were none then mom and dad would be alive, Vikki wouldn't have died, Sam wouldn't have turned and Elena wouldn't be going through this right now.
If she turned then what would stop her from becoming ruthless like Damon or unstoppable like Stephan? She would become a danger to everyone and I didn't want her to have to go through that.
Sam flashed through my mind but I pushed the thought her image led aside. She was different. She was still half human. And it was that human half that balanced out the ruthlessness vampirism usually led to in the first few months.
Elena wouldn't have that.
I went to Elena's room, needing to see her as she usually was but she wasn't when I found her. She was facing the mirror and she looked like she was in pain, holding her head in her hands.
Suddenly she turned and saw me. "Jer!" She walked towards me and hugged me tightly. I hugged her back just as much. She could have just as easily not been here hugging me. Then what would I have done?
"Are you OK? I watched Vickie go through this. She was a mess. Her emotions were all over the place. All of these old memories came flooding back."
"I'm fine. I'm not Vickie." She told me stubbornly.
"No, you're not. You're you. You act like everything's OK so no one worries about you, but you need help."
"I said I'm fine okay?" She snapped. I looked at her in surprise and she seemed to realise what she had done. "I... I'm sorry, I...have you talked to Bonnie?"
"Yeah." I told her. "She said when I was shot, she made some plea to the witch spirits to bring me back. And they listened."
"Yeah, but the consequences were horrible."
"And what could be more horrible than you turning into a vampire?" I asked angrily. I needed her to see how bad it would be for her. For us as a family. We had already lost Ric. Did we need another? "I need my sister. Not another one of them."
"We're going to find a way out of this." She promised. "Everything's going to be OK."
"I hope so." But I didn't believe her. There was only so much hope I could have before I just gave up and without Sammy here to help Bonnie, I felt like I was going to collapse from stress.
I groaned as I woke up from my, oh so uncomfortable position on the ground - which was a hell of a surprise might I add? I was not dead.
Now don't get me wrong - I was freakin ecstatic about this little fact but for the life of me (hah no pun intended) I couldn't not understand why.
Klaus dying equalled a dead Samantha right? So…why was I not dead?
I looked down and managed to see a phone. My phone. My broken phone. My broken I-Phone that had taken me ages to buy.
That meant I couldn't even call anyone to come and get me. I had to make my own way back to Mystic Falls. And since it was Rebekkah who had brought me here in her car, I would have to find a way back without it.
Oh happy days.
Why did this always happen to me? Or rather, why did this happen to us? I wasn't aware of any other town that had this many supernatural creatures running around in it - well except for the show Supernatural and that was totally stupid, but more accurate than that god awful book Twilight.
By the time I was sufficiently fuming at fate for being a raging bitch, I had been walking down the long arse road for what seemed like hours and I was wearing heels. This wouldn't have been a problem if I was a full vamp but seeing as I wasn't, I was still more susceptible to pain. Less so than the average human of course but more than a vamp. And considering I hadn't eaten well…yeah.
Then I could suddenly hear a car engine coming up behind me. Man I must have been out of it cause I didn't even hear it. I stuck my hand out for the car and was happy to say it stopped beside me.
Inside was a man wearing what looked like an expensive suit, coupled with a watch. "Hello? Are you okay miss?" He asked. "Do you need a ride to somewhere?"
Okay so you know how they usually tell you 'stranger danger' and 'don't ride with strange men'? Well I wasn't getting that vibe from him at all. And he had a car seat in the back so he seemed like an okay guy.
"Uh yeah actually. I'm going towards Mystic Falls." I asked in a polite, sweet voice. The man smiled and nodded his head.
"Sure. Why don't you hop in and I'll take you there. I'm heading that way myself actually." I nodded and jumped into the car and leaned my head against the window. "Shouldn't you put your belt on?" He asked.
"I'm a lot harder to kill than that." I grumbled. The man tried making conversation with me but I pretty much ignored him, making small nods and mumbles of acceptance but eventually he gave up and I fell asleep.
"I never meant for her to die. She asked me to help Matt first and I did."
"Tyler, don't tell me where you are. The less I know the better."
"In what world are you the one that gets to live?"
"You did what you always do... You respected my choice."
"Alaric Saltzman told us everything, Meredith. Probably time to start looking for a new job."
Flashes of fear and hate. Love. Disgust. Joy. Anger. Guilt. So many emotions. So much. Everywhere. I was drowning in them. What was happening? Where was I? The emotions played themselves over and over again. Fear. Hate. Love. Disgust. Joy. Anger. Guilt. Fear. Hate. Love. Disgust. Joy. Anger. Guilt.
I woke up with a gasp not knowing where I am and felt something against my wrists. I looked down to see they were tied up with one of those stupid police plastic bracelet things and I groaned in annoyance.
"Oh. Awake I see. You know, you remind me of my daughter. She looks a little bit like you." I heard a voice say. It was the man from the car - the one who offered me a life.
Just my luck he was a fucking rapist murder.
"You were pretty rude in the car you know. I was speaking to you and you pretty much ignored me." He went over and pulled the gag that had been around my mouth. "What do you have to say for yourself young lady?" He asked. Fucking freak. I hoped he didn't speak to his daughter like that. It was patronising.
I stared at him with a raised eyebrow and didn't say anything. This seemed to annoy the prick a little. "Little cunts like you should learn to answer you're elders!" He spat. My other eyebrow joined the first and I sighed.
"I don't have the time for this man." I told him, truthfully of course. "I have places to be, people to see and you're holding me up." The man frowned at me - probably expecting me to be out of my mind with fear. Unfortunately, it was his unlucky day.
"What the fuck is wrong with you? Why aren't you scared?" He asked and I rolled my eyes - all the while looking around the room. This was going to be easy to get out of.
"Look. Just let me out and I'll kill you quickly. How about that?" I asked smiling.
The man looked at me for a moment and then laughed. "I don't think so bitch. Pretty soon, you're the one that's gonna be dead." I huffed a little.
"I don't have time for this." I muttered before snapping the thing tying my wrists and legs together and stood up from the chair easily.
The man's face paled and he began shaking. "What - what -?" I walked up to him as he was practically tripping over his feet to get away from me. I grabbed him and slammed him against the wall hard enough for his bones to break.
"I told you to let me go. Sorry buddy. This isn't a good day for you is it?" I didn't even wait for a response. I grabbed the blade that had been in his hand and I stabbed it into his stomach before pulling it out. "Now, I want you to stab yourself all over till you die, okay?" I said, compelling him.
A though occurred to me and I grinned, biting my wrist and feeding him the blood. He gagged on it but I kept it in his mouth. He would change – I assume – but I put a spell on him to be stuck in that spot until he died a slow and more painful death.
It was kind of like vampire compulsion…well no. Not it wasn't at all, but it would make him suffer a whole lot more. And that made me very happy.
I left him there and walked out. But not before noticing that his keys were still on the table. I grabbed them and made my way to the outside where I saw his car parked like a birthday present. I grinned and pressed the button on the car to unlock it.
I would have to drive somewhere near to Mystic Falls and then ditch the car. Easy peasy.
By the time I had got to Mystic Falls, it was almost dark. The fucker had driven to some remote part of some random place in order to try and kill me and therefore it had taken me quite a little while trying to get back home. I also had to walk once I got within two hours of the town so that took time - even when I ran.
Suddenly I could hear voices. Not like vampire hearing but voices in my head - like in my dream. And it hurt. Fuck it hurt. I fell to the ground and groaned in pain - trying to cover my ears. Trying to stop the noise and the pain.
Stop her! The voices were shouting. Stop her NOW! It was getting louder and louder and I didn't know what was going on. They were just getting louder and louder to the point where it was like white noise, drilling into my head.
"Stop it!" I shouted. "Stop it!" And suddenly they did. There was no noise in my head anymore - only some kind of odd feeling. It was like a pull, drawing me to somewhere. And I was pretty sure it was the witches' doing so I followed.
The magic lead me to an old shack and inside I could hear a voice - Bonnie. She was doing something. A spell. But the energy she was calling wasn't good - she was using dark magic. I ran in there in time to see Tyler crumple to the ground groaning in pain.
"Bonnie. Stop!" I shouted. I saw everyone look up at me, shocked that I was here. That I was alive. But I was only looking at Bonnie. I could feel the dark magic she was using and it was making me feel sick.
"I warned you child." I turned and saw Sheila standing there, looking at Bonnie with sadness in her eyes. "I warned you to stay away." She grabbed a hold of Bonnie's hands and wouldn't let go.
"What's happening? Let me go!" Bonnie said, panicking.
"I can't." Sheila replied.
"No, let her go. Let her go. Please." I begged the spirits. Sheila turned and looked at me with sorrow in her eyes.
"You were supposed to protect her from this." She said to me and I shook my head. I didn't know. How was I supposed to know that this was going to happen? That Bonnie would begin practicing dark magic?
"Let me go!" Bonnie cried again. "Sam do something!" But I couldn't. I didn't have any sway with the spirits. They hated what I was.
"Sam, what's happening?" Caroline asked me but all I could see where the black veins appearing on Sheila's arms, travelling up.
"I can't let her go!" Bonnie cried out.
"Bonnie, stop the spell!" Jeremy shouted but he didn't understand. She couldn't. Not now. She had her chance and she abused it. The spirits were showing her the consequences of her actions.
"You made your choice. Now they're taking it out on me." Sheila said. She sounded like she was in pain as the veins began appearing on her face as well.
"Sam stop it!" Bonnie begged.
"I can't." I whispered. Bonnie looked at me, tears on her face and she began to panic.
"I'm sorry, grams! They can't do this to you! Please! Don't do this to her!" She shouted.
"Bonnie, stop!" Caroline begged her friend. She couldn't see what was happening as Bonnie began screaming.
"No! No! No!" She screamed and she fell to her knees. Sheila was gone and I ran to her and brought her to be, hugging her tightly. "Oh my god! What have I done?! What did I do?!" She kept repeating over and over again. I said nothing and just carried on hugging her as she cried into my shoulder.
Eventually Jeremy and I managed to get Bonnie to calm down and I didn't think it was a good idea for her to stay by herself and who knew where her mother was so I told her to stay with me. By this time Bonnie was half dead on her feet so I got Jeremy to put her in my bed.
She was out so quickly that she hadn't even been put down on the bed before she was asleep. I left her there and walked Jeremy out.
He turned and looked at me. I bit my lip. "What happened to you Sam?" He asked. "You called me and left me with that stupid message and then I can't even call you back. I thought you had died!"
"Well if it helps, I thought I was gonna die too." Stupid, stupid Sam. Why did you say that? Did my brain have no filter? No. No it didn't.
"That doesn't help at all. Why didn't you just call me? Or Stephan, or Bonnie? Someone?" I bit my lip again.
"This is going to sound like the lamest excuse in the world but…I broke my phone." Jeremy looked at me like I was crazy and honestly, I didn't even blame him. "I really did -"
"Shut up Sam." He growled and I frowned. He looked so angry. I didn't mean to make him feel so worried and in hindsight it probably wasn't the best phone call I could make.
"Look I am sorry Jeremy. Really." He was frowning now, a look of intense thought and something flickered through his eyes. I hadn't noticed that he had come closer to me but suddenly I could feel the warmth radiating from his body. "I'm sorr" -
My apology was broken by him pushing me against the door and kissing me hungrily.
Instinct took over and I wove my fingers through his hair and gripped it, pulling him to me. His tongue traced my lips and I let him in without resistance. Fuck he tasted good.
He grabbed my hips tightly, and I used Jeremy and the door, lifting my leg up to wrap around his waist bringing us closer together. I could fee l him. All of him and as I shifted a little bit the friction caused a loud moan from me.
I kissed him again, biting his lip and he tugged at my hair. Leaving my lips to trail wet kisses down my neck and I moaned as he sucked on a sensitive spot.
Jeremy was kissing me.
Jeremy was kissing me. Fuck.
I pushed him away from me as quickly as I could and I stood there panting. "No. No, no, no, no, no." I groaned to myself. This wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to let this happen.
"Stop it Sam. Please." I heard Jeremy whisper. He took my wrists in his and pulled me to him. "Don't. Don't do this."
I was still shaking my head but now I was crying. "Bad things happen to the people I love Jer. You'll die! I - I can't-"
"Sshh." Jeremy said, hugging me tightly. "Don't push me away because you're afraid of what might happen. Please don't Sammy. I love you. Always have, always will."
I broke down even more at the words he had said to me, only this time - it was a mixture of complete happiness and fear for him.
He brought me over to the sofa and held me tightly to his chest and I breathed in the familiar smell of oil pain and charcoal. "I love you." He whispered again.
"I love you too." I whispered back, and not long after, I fell asleep listening to the steady beat of Jeremy's heart and dreamt of the possibilities of accepting him.