Jim walked tentatively into sickbay. He hated having to come here for official business. It was one thing to come here when he just wanted to see Bones, but it was a whole other thing to come here because he needed medical attention. But he just couldn't take it anymore and so he had come.
As Jim walked through the open doorway, he peered around the corner to see where Bones was. He didn't immediately see him and he sighed with relief. Maybe, just maybe, he could avoid him during this visit as he really, really did not want to see him.
Jim spotted Nurse Christine Chapel. "Pssssttt, Chapel, over here... Over here, Chapel. I need you!" he whispered from the doorway corner.
Nurse Chapel looked behind her and at him with a puzzled frown. "Captain, what are you doing?" she asked from across the room.
Shaking his head, Jim held his finger to his lips, "Sssshhh, I need your help, but it's a secret. Bones can't know. Is he around?"
Chapel shook her head no and watched her Captain sigh in relief.
"Great! That's great!" he said with obvious enthusiasm. Kirk straightened up and came striding towards her. "I have a little bit of an issue," he said, once he'd approached her standing at the end of a biobed.
"What kind of an issue, Captain Kirk?" she asked, slightly amused by his slinking around.
"Well… it's kind of embarrassing, which is why I didn't want Bones here. If he finds out, he'll never let me live it down," he said, looking sheepish.
"Well, Captain, I can assure you, I've seen pretty much everything there is, so there's no need to get embarrassed here," Chapel stated with authority and confidence.
Kirk looked at Chapel with a pained look on his face. "Can we go somewhere a little more private, please? I don't want anyone just walking in on us right now – especially Bones."
Chapel gave him an amused look and led him to a biobed in the corner and activated the privacy screen that all the biobeds were equipped with. "All right, it's totally private now. So what is all this secrecy about, Captain?" she asked trying to bite back her smile.
Kirk looked at her and then looked away, obviously uncomfortable sharing such a private conversation with her. "Ahm… it's, ah… well, ahm…," he tried to say with a look on his face that reminded her of how her little brother looked when he was in trouble but didn't want to admit what he'd done.
"It's ok, Captain, just tell me what's wrong," she said gently. "Let me know what the issue is and we can get it taken care of."
Kirk gives her a grateful look and said, "Ok, but it's kind of gross," he says apologetically.
"Don't worry, it won't bother me," said Chapel with confidence, masking her unease at what Kirk had said. There were things even she got a little squeamish about.
"Well, ah… there's something in my ear and I can't get it out," he finally said.
Chapel raised an eyebrow, eerily reminiscent of Spock. "In your ear?" she asked. At Kirk's nod, she just humphed, saying, "Well, let's take a look then. I haven't got all day."
Kirk had a déjà vu feeling that Nurse Chapel was Bones, just in a female body. Shaking his head at that ridiculous notion, he pointed to his right ear. "It's in here. I've tried getting it out, but I can't, and it's really uncomfortable." He paused as she got out the otoscope to take a look. "Ahm, I should probably warn you…"
"It's moving," Nurse Chapel yelped, jumping back a foot.
"Ahm, yeah, I was going to tell you before you looked, but you kind of beat me to it," said Kirk sheepishly.
"Okay… Captain, what exactly is in your ear?" Chapel asked a bit apprehensively.
"Ah, yeah… well, it's a Rigellian bloodworm. It's one of those worms that come in Rigellian Tequila," he said matter of factly. "Did you know that they are still alive when you open the tequila?" he said animatedly. "It's really amazing that they can survive that whole time in the bottle."
"No, Captain, I wasn't aware of that fact," Nurse Chapel says dryly. She reaches around, pulls a drawer open, and pulls out a pair of tweezers. "Hold still, please. Hopefully this won't hurt too much."
Kirk winced as Chapel inserted the tweezers into his ear. He felt her dig around a bit for a good spot to grab hold of the worm and winced as she hit a tender spot. All of a sudden he felt movement and she pulled the worm out. He grimaced as he watched it wiggle at the end of her tweezers. Chapel carried it to a biohazard chute and disposed of it.
"Thanks, Nurse Chapel" Kirk exclaims abruptly, jumping up from the bed. "That's what I came in here for and you took care of it. I can't thank you enough!" Kirk turns to leave, saying, "I've got to get back to the bridge so I'll leave you to get back to your other patients."
"Not so fast, Captain!" Chapel commands. As Kirk turns back to her, she said, "You at least owe me an explanation for getting rid of that worm!"
Kirk looks at her determined face and decides he won't be able to get away without explaining what happened. "Well, you see, it all started when the guys from the bridge got tired of playing poker and wanted to play 'Truth and Dare'…, you see…"
Chapel's nonstop laughter could even be heard over the privacy screen, making the rest of sickbay staff wonder what was so darn funny.