My Dearest Daisy,
Every month I've written these letters but for some reason I've never been able to force myself to post any of them. I hope that this one will be different. I hope that if you receive this you're still reading but I know that I really don't deserve anything more than complete and utter silence. I understand if you don't want to talk to me, I just needed to tell you what all has become of me while I've been away.
Away. It makes it sound as if I've been on vacation rather than locked in a jail cell for the last few years. I know that I deserve it. Getting involved with criminals that even my uncle wouldn't have associated with, being knee-deep in a counterfeiting ring, not to mention all of the other schemes that I once was involved in. But most of all, I deserve to be sitting right where I am all because I put your life in danger. That is a crime that I still can't forgive myself for.
You have no idea just how many times I'd wished that I'd met you before I got tangled up with the elements that I did that led to my eventual downfall. I'd like to think that we could have been happy together; much like we were when I was in Hazzard before you learned just how I made my money. We would have still had both of our families to contend with but I know that we would have made them see after a while that we loved one another. Then they would have had to have given us their blessings.
I'm under no disillusionment that you could possibly still love me after everything that happened. Have no fear, I take full responsibility for that, as well. No mere sinner deserves the undying love or affection from an Earth-bound angel like you. I know that I will forever be longing for you from afar. My love for you is deep enough to know that if I just showed up out of nowhere with no warning, it could upset you deeply which is something that I couldn't bear to do. So instead, should I actually post this letter, I'll leave my address on the back of the envelope in the hopes that one day you'll decide to look me up.
Now on to new news of my life. My sentenced is up next week and I'll be free to walk from these walls to never grace them again. When I get out, I am determined to only conduct business that is completely legal this time around. I promise that I won't do anything that will tarnish my memories of you. I'd like to think that I can someday redeem myself enough to be the man that you once thought that I was; the man who you fell in love with.
I know that this must sound like a pathetic plea to win your heart back but I assure that it isn't. You deserve someone who can cherish and protect that wonderful prize and I ruined my chance to be your protector and hero. It may take an entire lifetime to atone for my past sins and there is no reason to force you to stand back and watch as I fail time and time again. I only wanted you to know that you have inspired me to become a better person.
You do that, you know. You make things better just by being who you are.
I hope that by now you have found your happiness but if you haven't, please, don't wait around. Find someone who is worthy of you and won't sit on his hands and let a perfect gem like you slip through his fingers. Be happy, Love. You deserve it.
Jamie Lee Hogg
Daisy sat in her Jeep down by the pond as she read and re-read Jamie's letter. It had been a long time since she had thought of Jamie. The one man who she had been willing to defy her family for; she had even packed her bag and left to elope with him. But they never made it to the altar. Instead, Jamie's boss was there waiting on her because he thought that she knew what kind of business they were running out of the old grits mill. She hadn't but the man was ready to kill both of them anyway. He had to see to it that he left nothing and no one who could link the operation to himself.
When Daisy learned what kind of business Jamie had been a part of, she had been terribly angry. Not just at him but at herself for not seeing what had been going on right under her own nose for weeks. It made her feel like she was a fool. She'd let down her guard and truly fallen for him (despite the fact that he was Boss's nephew). He had made her feel in ways that no one ever had.
Looking back without the anger to cloud her mind, Daisy was reminded of the way that Jamie had tried to convince his angry boss to let her go unharmed. He never even pled for his own life, only for hers. So many of the men that she's dated over the years wouldn't have done the same in Jamie's shoes. In fact, they may have tried to use her as leverage to help save their own lives. Enos, of course, being the only true exception.
Reading the letter once more, Daisy couldn't decide just how she felt about Jamie now. Nor did she know how she should take his flattery. Was there anything more than a silver-tongue behind them? If he meant them, did that really matter to her anymore?
He had been right about one thing, though. She had loved him. Had loved him deeply. Did she love him now...? Not that he asked that. Not outright at least. But receiving the letter did stir up feelings in her that she hadn't felt in a long time.
Maybe one day it wouldn't hurt to see if (after a while) Jamie was true to his word. Because if a Hogg could go on the straight and narrow, she'd definitely want to see it.