Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! Although I wish I did, especially Invader Zim, but what are you going to do, eh?

Chapter 3: Miracles and Horrible Screaming Pain

Crawling through ceiling vents with a large laceration in his chest was not something Zim enjoyed.

Crawling through ceiling vents filled with dust with a large laceration in his chest was something Zim absolutely detested.

"Filthy, filthy, filthy, filthy, FILTHY HYUUUMANS!" screamed Zim, not caring about the possibility that his position might be given away, "I don't see how this could possibly become more disgusting than it already is."

It was at that moment that fate decided to have Zim crawl face-first into a dusty cobweb, simply because not even the mighty Zim is above the wrath of a provoked fate.

Zim, upon contact with the dusty web, started screaming again, "AHHH! I hate this planet!" Zim started thrashing around in his temper tantrum, but the pain that caused his chest was so great that he had to settle for slumping against the wall, muttering the occasional irken obscenity. Eventually he calmed down and sighed. "I just want to go home."

Actually, that was not entirely true. What did he have at home other than reminders of the past? Of his failed mission? What he really wanted was to be out of the ventilation system, to be free of the smell of dust and decay and exhaust.

Wait a minute…

Exhaust fumes come from those filthy human vehicles, cars, and stuff.

For Zim, the new revolting smell gave him hope. If he could smell exhaust, he had to be close to the outside. All he had to do was find a way out…


Behind that grate, was the soft glow of natural light.

Behind that grate, was freedom.

Seconds later the grate was blasted off its frame by a high-powered laser, courtesy of Zim.

Aided by his partially extended PAK legs, Zim pulled himself out of the vent and into the evening air.

He took a deep breath… and immediately cringed at the taste of pollutants.

"Disgusting," Growled Zim, "But most definitely less filthy than the air I'm used to, meaning that the female scientist's claim of this being a different country gains some merit. That and the different language really make it believable."

Zim sighed, "So, I'm in Ikebukero, Japan. I have no sense of location besides that name, no resources besides the PAK on my back, my ruined uniform, and my mighty brain meats. My chest has been sliced open and I'm under the constant threat of disembowelment. Oh, and I don't know the native language."

"Some mighty obstacles indeed, but no obstacle is too great for invader Zim." The little egomaniac gloated.

Zim, using his now fully extended PAK limbs, crouched down like a spider ready to jump upon its unsuspecting prey.

"I'd better get started." With those parting words, Zim leapt off the rooftop and into the night.

===============Zrrrrrr! ===============

'This,' Thought Mikado, 'is most definitely not going according to plan.'

Indeed, being led by gunpoint by a pair of thugs to an undisclosed location was not an ideal situation to have his make-up placebo date with Anri in, who was being led by gunpoint with him.

Overall, things were looking bleak. Mikado couldn't use his phone to contact the police, the Dollars, or anyone for that matter. Mikado glanced at Anri to see if she was having any better luck herself with Sakia's children. The glowing red eyes said she was trying, but the crestfallen look on her face spoke the truth. No one was close enough to help.

No one was coming to save them.

'It's okay,' Thought Mikado, trying desperately to hold onto his last shreds of optimism, 'We've still got options. We could…um…no, how about…no, that won't work, maybe…' Mikado's thought process was interrupted by one of the 'escorts' suddenly talking.

"It isn't every day that the boss takes interest in a pair of kids." The man said, "Any idea why he would?"

Mikado, finding it very hard to talk, simply shook his head.

The man shrugged, "Oh well. You'll probably figure it out before you're killed."

Mikado blanched. The other thug noticed, "Dude, don't scare the poor kid. That's just cruel."

"No, being cruel would be telling him what's going to happen to his girlfriend." The first man retorted.

Mikado was about to protest that he and Anri were not boyfriend and girlfriend, at least not in the strictest technical sense, when the full meaning of what had been said finally clicked in his head. "What's going to happen to her?"

The first man had the decency to look abashed. Finally, he spoke, "Hey, don't worry kid. Our boss is far more reasonable than most gang leaders. I'm sure you can negotiate her release."

That did make him feel better, though only a little.

"Turn here." grunted the second man.

Given that they were in no position to do otherwise, Mikado and Anri did so.

Mikado felt horrible. He had dragged Anri into a dangerous situation, and for what? To satisfy his need for a better memory of a date that wasn't even a date? What a selfish reason to endanger someone.

'Alright, we need a plan, a strategy.' thought Mikado, before reality reared its ugly head. 'Augh, forget that, we need a miracle.'

Yes, a miracle. Maybe Celty would drive by and notice what was going on, or Shizuo would turn the corner and take out his perpetual bad mood on the thugs. Maybe even Kadota and his gang would spontaneously show up to lend a helping hand.

'Hell, even Izaya would be a welcome face at this point, and that's saying something.'

Hope had dwindled next to nothing at this point for Mikado, 'Anri, I'm so sorry you got involved in this. If we survive, I'll promise to make it up to you.'

Mikado sighed, 'We'll need to get away first. That miracle would look pretty good right about now.'

It was at that moment that the alien fell from the sky.

===============Zrrrrrr! ===============

As Zim skittered along over the rooftops of Ikebukero, he quickly realized two very important facts.

His PAK legs didn't need blood, but his brain, which controlled his PAK legs, did.

He had lost a lot of blood, and was starting to feel the effects of blood loss.

These two facts combined to produce a dizzy, very out of it and uncoordinated Zim. The uncoordinated part was especially noticeable as Zim stumbled along on his biomechanical limbs.

However, the true extent of his lack of cognitive function was realized when he stumbled straight off the roof of a building.

What could be considered impressive however would have to be how Zim not only remained oblivious to his sudden fall, but also to his squeedlyspoogh flowing out of his body, or even when his 'spoogh snagged itself on something.

He did notice when his 'spoogh ran out of slack though.

"Huh? Who? What the-!?" Stuttered Zim, highly confused. One second he was running along the rooftops, the next he found himself dangling by his squeedlyspoogh in front-

In front of humans!

Really big ones too. They seemed to be armed as well.

Zim immediately jumped to conclusions and the worst-case scenario.

"Are you with the F.B.I?" Zim wheezed, "Because you'll never take my organs. Never!" Zim grunted with exertion and brought his PAK legs back online, and lifted them threateningly. "Be gone with you!" He screamed as loud as he could while lashing out with his PAK legs.

The thugs fled, terrified of the bizarre sight before them. Zim cackled weakly, "Victory…" he wheezed, "Now, to free my 'spoogh-." A wet ripping sound filled the air as Zim felt something that was supposed to be inside of him give. Then he was falling, and there was pain, and there was screaming.

Then it was dark.

===============Zrrrrrr! ===============

Mikado stood shocked. One minute he and Anri were being led by gunpoint to who knows where. The next, an alien falls from the sky and scares away the thugs with its metal legs.

'Heh, guess miracles do happen.'

There was really only one problem.

The alien was obviously gravely injured. Its guts were spilling out of its chest cavity, and the stomach-intestine thing was ripped in two, leaking the alien's fluids all over the ground.

He needed medical help. Now.

"He needs help." Anri spoke up, voicing Mikado's thoughts.

Mikado nodded, before an idea struck him. "Shinra! We can take him to Shinra. He should be able to help. I think…"

Anri nodded. "Shinra and Celty's apartment is close by-"

'It is?'

"-so we should be able to get him there without too many people noticing him."

"Okay. Okay, good, yeah." Mikado stuttered as the last five minutes began to process in his mind, "Is,-is this for real? Is that thing really an alien?"

Anri stared at the injured thing before her, and thought for a few seconds. Finally, she responded, "It might be or it might not. Either way we've got to help it."

Mikado nodded, "Alright. Let's get him to Shinra."

After taking a few stomach-churning moments to put his organs back inside him, Mikado and Anri wrapped the alien in Mikado's jacket and set out for Celty and Shinra's apartment.

After walking a few minutes, trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible, Mikado suddenly felt some doubts creep up on him. "Anri, are we doing the right thing?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, should we really be doing this? What if he's hostile? What if the police find out?"

Anri remained silent for a few seconds, before speaking, "He might be, we don't know. But regardless, we should still help him."

"Yeah, you're right. This is just a bit much."

"I know what you mean. This is a lot to take in."

Mikado chuckled a little, drawing the attention of Anri, "What's so funny?"

"Well, look at us. I'm the head of The Dollars, my best friend was the head of the Yellow Scarves, you're possessed by a magical sword, and we are not only on good terms with the strongest man in Ikebukero, but we're also friends with a headless woman."

He laughed some more. "We've seen so many strange things it's not even funny. The way I see it, it was only a matter of time before an alien showed up."

Anri cracked a small smile at the thought. "I agree with you. It simply wouldn't be Ikebukero without things being strange."

They both smiled at the thought, before Anri grew serious again, "We should probably hurry. The sooner we get him to Shinra, the better."

Mikado nodded in agreement, before both increased their pace and hurried to the only one they knew of who could or even be willing to save an alien's life.

Author's notes: I probably should have been doing this sooner, but I'm new at this, which is why I'm going to ask you politely to review so that I can get better and avoid making mistakes that are missed by both myself and my friend/editor. So please, review.