So this work was a roleplay completed by me and the lovely user, ameliaa-holmes. For the record, this has not been beta'd, I've looked over it and corrected as many of those tedious little errors I could find. Sorry if I have left errors though, my bad.
I hope you do like this, the chapters will be updated as I finish editing them. Comments or criticisms for our work would be nice and would contribute to the future of our writing. Thank you! Have fun reading!~
After Castiel fell from Heaven, he did find and talk to the Winchester brothers for a while but had distanced from them. Now, it had been 3 years since Castiel had last spoken to Dean, Sam or even Kevin. In fact, he had ran away from the whole aspect of the hunting or the supernatural world and he had been lucky, no one visited him, tortured him, questioned him and all was good. Until he started feeling sick around 8 months ago and the doctor's he went to found out that he had stage four pancreatic cancer that had spread to the stomach, and that it was too late for chemotherapy or radiation treatments, instead the doctors just tried to keep his as comfortable as possible. They gave him 9 months to live and if you could do the math correctly, he was on his last month. He was constantly bed-ridden now in hospital and nurses kept asking if he wanted to contact a friend or family and he had denied it every time, thinking of no one who would be there for him, until one day, he pondered. He wondered if he should contact Dean and so he did, 'Dean, come to St James Memorial Hospital. From Castiel' He texted that message to Dean's number, hoping he still had it. It was often when the Winchesters would have to change their phones, maybe they had lost it or broken it in a hunt or changing it simply so that FBI couldn't find them and track their calls. And so Castiel was left, laying in the hospital bed, an almost skeletal body framework and slowly dying, never to come back to Earth.
When Dean received a text very early in the morning, the last person he expected it to be from Castiel. Dean had read the message over several times, his fingers shaking as he did so. It had taken him a matter of ten minutes before he had packed a bag, explained to Sam he needed to be somewhere important, and was in the Impala, heading towards the hospital. He could still feel his fingers trembling slightly as he approached one of the nurses at the desk after the long, tedious drive. "Ah - I'm here to visit a Castiel?" The nurse gave him a sad smile - only worsening Dean's panic - and directed him towards a room. Dean stood outside Castiel's ward for a long moment; the door was closed and separated the two of them. He took a deep breath, trying to stop his shaking hands and knocked on the door.
Castiel still missed being an angel but he enjoyed just watching the busy lives and the sheer energy of the human race through his window and out to the garden. Many people would think that it was depressing but Castiel loved it and it was something that he did most every day since he was too weak to stand up on his own for long periods of time. Sometimes he was able to go out into the garden, sit on a bench and take in the warm and happy rays of the sun, treasuring each moment he had left of his long and tiring life. Castiel looked down at the barely eaten food in front of him and felt nauseous from the two bites that he took of it. He hated hospital food and that just made everything worse for him. Castiel sighed as he watched the quiet TV in the corner of his room and jumped when a knock was heard on his door. He consciously pulled the blanket up to cover more of his hospital gowned body as he was insecure about his bony body and answered. "Come in." His voice was weak and tired sounding.
Dean continued to hesitate for a moment longer, beginning to wonder if he had made a mistake in coming. But then he heard it - the familiar sound of Castiel's voice - and every ounce of his being screamed at him to get closer to the owner of the voice. Opening the door, Dean's mouth all but dropped open. He didn't know what he had been expecting - maybe a broken arm at the worst - but it wasn't this. Castiel, looking like a skeleton, was covered under white sheets, tubes prodding out of his body at odd places, his lips a sickly blue, his bones protruding. Castiel's cheekbones looked sharp and it looked as if all the fat and muscle that the ex-angel wore on him, had been completely sucked away from him and Dean was completely shocked to say in the least. The white shades of the hospital room made the dark shades under his eyes even darker. "Cas..." Dean whispered, paralysed by the sight of him.
Castiel felt shocked at first at the sight of Dean, standing in the doorway of his hospital room, clad in the usual leather jacket and denim jeans. Not much had changed from him, except the lines of weary years evident on his face and a stronger build to his body if that were possible. He knew that Dean would have more scars, three years was enough time to get roughed up a little for a hunter and Castiel wondered how many Dean had in total, how many times Dean had gone through pain and suffering just to get the supernatural monsters and freaks back in order. Castiel perked up a bit from the word that Dean uttered, not having heard Dean's voice in three years and to finally hear his voice, his name being spoken by Dean, made him feel something he hadn't felt since the last time he saw him. Castiel wondered for a brief moment if Dean had even thought of him in the last three years. Castiel noticed that Dean was looking over at everything that was on him, from the numerous IV's to his arms and the morphine pump to his port. "D-Dean?" Castiel stuttered, he was still having trouble processing that Dean had actually come to him when Castiel needed him the most even if Castiel regrettably didn't do that a lot when he was an angel. It showed that Dean respected him a bit more than he thought. "It's okay... You can come in..." Castiel quietly said, motioning slowly to a chair next to the bed. His movements were slow but Castiel still had strength, he could still do things for himself, he wasn't completely immobilized and he liked that, liked having to do something for himself instead of letting other people do it for him.
Dean gulped, nodding and trying to regain control of his body. He felt slightly numb with shock from the tubes and wires and beeping machines because it was completely wrong as Cas looked sick. He wasn't supposed to look sick, he wasn't even supposed to have the ability of being sick but here he was now, laying in a hospital bed, looking like death. He straightened his shoulders, walking over slowly to sit in the chair beside Cas' bed, burying his hands into his pockets so Castiel couldn't see how much they were shaking from the nervousness and the fear he felt. "Cas -" He repeated, hardly more than a whisper. After scanning the whole room, his gaze finally came to rest on Castiel. He looked into his ocean blue eyes which - unlike the rest of him - hadn't changed a bit. "What -" was all he managed to say as a wave of sadness washed over him and he was forced to avert his gaze from Castiel's fearing he might crumple right in front of the sick ex-angel.
Castiel looked around him and noticed why Dean might have been overwhelmed. His throat got caught for a few seconds before he used his slightly raspy voice. "Cancer." He said simply, looking down at his bony fingers which were tangled together, mingling with one another, giving him something to do other than look at Dean and simply watch him become even more heart broken. He decided to give it a few moments to explain as he didn't want Dean to be overwhelmed with this shock either because he was still confused as to why this was happening, he even got angry sometimes but then he had to do the most rational thing and just accept his oncoming death. "Pancreatic Cancer…stage four." He finished, his throat closing off with a squeak, a few moments later. God, he had said those words too many times in the past 8 months that they were almost just normal to him but when he explained it to Dean, it was different, it hurt more to admit it, it hurt to blatantly state that he was leaving Dean with no chance of coming back. Living in the hospital was now normal to him too seeing as he had been there for a while. He was used to the ringing of phones, the coughing of other patients out in the halls, the usual aroma of death and disinfectant stinking up in his nostrils. "Sorry..." Castiel croaked.
Dean felt tears prick at the back of his eyes. The word, cancer, so simple, but yet so complex, and it dropped like a brick between the pair of them. It took Dean aback, he suddenly couldn't think straight because the word cancer was just flashing and popping up in Dean's head like a disco and it shocked Dean to the core because he really had nothing to do with cancer a lot of the time and now that something was happening to him that actually revolved around the life threatening disease, it made Dean put things into perspective. Dean couldn't help but feel that it was his entire fault even if he had no control whether Castiel got cancer or not. But he felt that if he had just looked after Cas better, kept Castiel with them for longer then none of this would ever have happened. He suddenly thought about all their lost minutes together, all the times they would never have now, all the things they could have done in the past 3 years. "God, don't apologize." Dean choked, tears welling now. Dammit. Hold them back, he willed himself. Cas didn't need to see him cry. "I...I...how long?"
Castiel looked up to see Dean, taking in the look of Dean's face. He looked tired, and he wondered how long Dean was sat in the car to try and reach him but that thought quickly disappeared when he noticed that Dean wore unshed tears in his eyes and he knew that if Dean blinked, the perfect tear drops would fall down the man's face in a graceful manner. God, this whole thing was affecting him more than he thought it would, he didn't even think Dean would even come, it was a miracle that he did but it certainly made him feel better, not so much alone now, which was good. "Not long now... Doctor's said I had 9 months... That was 8 months ago..." Castiel had 9 months to accept his fate and whilst it was hard at first, he grew better at accepting it but it was hard now, to accept it in front of Dean. Some sort of pressure was building up in Castiel's chest and he knew that if this continued, he would start crying, it was almost like a chain reaction after seeing Dean so upset too. He didn't want to break down, not now, not in front of Dean so he quickly wiped the tears that were threatening to spill and just hoped that Dean didn't see that.