127Frozen is my new favourite movie. The best ever. Hands down. Disney has outdone itself this time.
This movie has made me feel all sorts of emotions. There were several parts of the movie which I found terribly saddening. On of them is the part where Elsa lost control of her powers in the courtyard, and this woman holding the baby shielded the child from her. It was an instinctive, protective move on the mother's part, but it must have hurt Elsa terribly.
I wish, somehow, that this hurt could be healed.
This came out in less than an hour. Sorry if it's rushed; and I apologise in advance for any grammatical mistakes, too.
And of course, I do not own Frozen.
It was evening, and the setting sun was painting broad strokes of red, gold, yellow and pink across the skies. The impromptu ice rink was glowing in the evening light, and rang with the laughter of the people as old and young alike skated in circles in the once-forbidden courtyard of Arendelle Castle.
Children caught snowflakes on their tongues and giggled at the sight of Sven, who provided a source of fascination as most of the people had never seen a reindeer up close before. Olaf, happy, cheerful, was seen building snowmen with a group of adults and children. Anna, finally managing to stay on her feet, still wobbled dangerously as she skated hand in hand with Kristoff.
Elsa couldn't remember a time in which she was this happy. Of course, she noticed the stares, felt the hesitation of the people as they smiled at her or bowed. Some parents still kept their children away from her. But at least she was out here, with her sister and her people, and her powers were bringing the people joy; and for every person who shied away from her, three more came up to greet her with shy bows and smiles. A child even offered a flower, which Elsa accepted graciously and tucked into her hair. The dazed joy on the child's face brought smiles of approval from the people around.
Across the rink she saw Anna wobbling and almost falling, only to be steadied by Kristoff. The adoration on the ice-harvester's face was blatant and warmed Elsa's heart. She wondered if Anna knew how Kristoff felt about her. Then she saw the way Anna looked at him, and realized that maybe Anna already did.
She would have to invite Kristoff into the castle for meals from now on, Elsa thought with a smile. She would get to know this awkward, kind-hearted man, who had risked so much for her sister, and for her as well.
"Your Majesty," said a soft voice.
Elsa turned, pivoting on her slippers, a ready smile already on her face. It faltered a little when she saw the person who addressed her.
It was a woman. Elsa had a vague memory of a sea of horrified faces, terrified screams, and the crowd backing away from her. The woman's face blended into this blurred sea of faces; but Elsa remembered clearly the child in her arms.
This was the woman who had asked if she was alright, the night of her coronation; and this was the baby she had shielded from Elsa as her powers got the better of her. The same child with chubby cheeks, wide, innocent eyes, a huge toothless grin. And fat little arms that reach out to her to be held.
In her musings Elsa had wondered close to a bench, and it was from this bench that the woman was rising, executing an awkward curtsy while holding the child in her arms.
"Please, don't get up," Elsa held up her hands, and quickly dropped them as she remembered what had happened the last time she had stood face-to-face with this woman. For a moment they looked awkwardly at each other, neither knowing what to say, how to act. Then the woman slowly backed away. "Does Your Majesty wish to rest for a while? We will get out of your way…"
"Oh please don't," Elsa said in distress, "Please, sit down and rest. I daresay the child is heavy."
To her surprise, a smile broke over the woman's face.
"She is, aye." she said fondly, while the child gurgled around the fist she had stuffed into her mouth, reaching out with the other hand to grab at the snowflakes drifting slowly through the air.
"Then please, sit down. The bench is big enough for the two of us." Elsa said, and then wanted to kick herself. The woman was most likely looking for an excuse to leave. And with one sentence Elsa had pinned her on the spot. What other choice did the woman have now than to sit back down on the bench, with the one person who possessed the power to harm her child with just one wave of her hand?
She wanted to say something, to tell the woman that it was okay if she wanted to leave, but the woman was already sitting down, the child in her lap, now busy trying to stuff the other fist into her mouth too. Gingerly, Elsa sat down too, on the edge of the bench, as far as she could away from the woman and her precious bundle. The nerves turned her fingers cold, and Elsa turned her palms into each other. She wanted to apologise, for the fear and the confusion and the storm that had encased Arendelle in ice; but the words she could think of felt stiff and unfriendly on her tongue. She had been starved of human companionship for so long, she did not know how to communicate. What were the proper words to use, the right gestures?
If only Anna were here, she thought miserably. Anna would know what to do, what to say; how to defuse this awkwardness. No one but Anna had the warmth, the innocence, the love…
She had reckoned without the child.
The baby had finally noticed that she was there. Elsa found herself confronted with big, curious brown eyes, blinking at her owlishly over her mother's shoulder. Then, the child smiled, cooed, and reached out with chubby arms to Elsa.
"Oh." The simple acceptance was too much. All the innocence, all the trust in the world. Elsa was horrified to find tears gathering in her eyes. Before she could brush them away, the woman had noticed. Concerned brown eyes –so there was there the child got her eyes from, Elsa thought dizzily- stared at her over the cooing baby's head.
"Your Majesty, are you alright?"
The same words, spoken in the same tone. There was no fear in the woman's eyes, none of the aversion Elsa had been so afraid to see. Instead there was simple concern, kind patience.
"I… I…" Elsa shook her head helplessly as more tears gathered. Frost began to creep over the bench, over the ice, spreading in a slow circle. "I… oh no…"
"Your Majesty has had a rough few days." the woman said with gentle sympathy; and to Elsa's acute terror, shifted closer instead of fleeing from the frost. The baby was still smiling at her, babbling now, fat arms held out demanding to be held. It was too easy to picture those little arms freezing into ice.
Terrified, feeling the cold waiting to burst out of her, Elsa made a move to jump up and run, when the child, tired of being ignored, made a sudden lung for Elsa and almost toppled out of her mother's arms.
It was reflex, instinct. Elsa caught the child against her. The next instant there was blind, total panic. There was a fragile, wiggling, foreign being in her arms; so warm and soft and vulnerable; and she could feel the cold creeping up her spine, the power of it building up in her limbs.
"Oh. She's always doing that." the woman said in mild exasperation.
Elsa wanted to scream for Anna, wanted to thrust the baby back at her mother; but her limbs would not move; her mind was a complete blank. And the baby grabbed her braid, tugged, gurgled, and stuffed the end of it into her mouth.
"Oh Elsa," sighed the woman, resigned, watching as her daughter chewed on the queen's hair.
Elsa stared at her in confusion, her moment of panic forgotten. The woman blushed, suddenly embarrassed.
"I hope Your Majesty won't mind but… my husband and I named her after you," she said shyly, "Our beloved queen, who has watched over us all these years. We hope that… that our child would grow up to be just like you,"
Elsa looked down at her namesake, who gazed back, still fearlessly and enthusiastically chewing on her hair. A child, an innocent being named after her. The revelation was stunning and devastating. "You… you wanted her to grow up to be like me? Really?" she whispered. 'But... why?"
And she was not a queen now, talking to a subject of her kingdom. She was a little girl now, desperately in need of reassurance that even with all these years of isolation from her people, she had not failed in her duty of taking care of them.
The woman's face melted into a tender smile. "You are everything we could hope for in our queen," she said gently, "You kept us fed, kept us warm, and defended us, even from yourself. Most of all, you love us; Your Majesty. That is the greatest gift of all."
The tears were gathering in her eyes again; the woman's face washed into a blur. But Elsa could still hear the words. "Of course we want our little Elsa to grow up like you, to be as kind, as caring; with the same capacity for love."
She wanted to deny it; the woman was mistaken. She was nothing like the woman had described. But the baby chose this moment to reach up and pat her face gently with a damp fist, and Elsa let the tears fall.
The baby cooed, blinking those huge, trusting brown eyes.
"Hello, Elsa," Elsa said gently, rubbing away the tears and smiling down at the baby. She was soft and chubby, and smelling of milk and soap and baby powder. The child leaned in and put her small head into the crook of Elsa's neck, snuggling against her with a happy gurgle.
"She likes you." the woman smiled.
And all of Elsa's fears were forgotten, all the guilt was gone. The same woman who, with one instinctive action, had torn her heart apart had now mended it with just a few words; that, and the trusting child nestled in her arms. Her heart was so full in her chest that she rather thought it wouldn't be able to contain all she was feeling. There was no cold in her, no tingling in her fingertips. the cold had no place against the warmth of the child, the understanding of the mother.
"Oooooh a baby!" gushed the well-known voice of her sister, and Anna and Kristoff materialized beside them. "Aw how sweet!" Anna tickled the baby's cheek, "What's her name?"
"Elsa." said Elsa happily.
"Elsa? But that's…" Anna's eyes widened in understanding, she beamed at the woman. "That's a wonderful name."
"Yes it is." the woman beamed back.
Anna drew her sister into an one-armed hug. "A person named after you, Elsa. That's like… the highest honour!"
And a great responsibility. Elsa got up, cradling the child carefully. Anna laid her head on her shoulder with a happy sigh.
"I hope I can live up to your expectations of me.;" Elsa said seriously to the woman.
The woman smiled gently. "Oh Your Majesty. You already have."
You already have.
Warmth welled so hard, so fast; healing the hurt, banishing the fears. And Elsa recognized this simple faith for what it really was – just another kind of love.
"So... does little Elsa have a sister named Anna?" Anna asked hopefully.
"Anna!"
"What? It's a valid question!" Anna gave an un-princess-like shrug, "You're all aloof and regal and stand-offish and you get someone named after you! I'm all about warmth and bringing happiness to people, of course someone should be named after me!"
Undone, helpless with laughter, Elsa drew her sister in for a hug and held both her and little Elsa close.
Yes. Just another kind of love.