This is a fill in the blank oneshot for my 'Brown Eyed Girl' story, 'Just a Dream: Evie's tale' goes hand in hand with this one.


I didn't want to come over here. I don't even know why I'm fighting. I just know I got a letter, and a scared sick feeling in my stomach, Evie cried, Soda looked grave. I couldn't take that. I put on a hard, brave, bored face and laughed it off.

If you're reading this, my momma's sitting there

Looks like I only got a one-way ticket over here

I sure wish I could give you one more kiss

And war was just a game we played when we were kids

I knew when I left that I would miss so much. My friends are going to go on with their lives and I'll be here. I knew I was lying to Evie when I left, I told her I'd come back and nothing would change. But I knew there was only a slim chance I would come back at all, and if I did I wouldn't be the same.

Well I'm laying down my gun, I'm hanging up my boots

I'm up here with God and we're both watching over you

There was something different about that day, I could feel it. It was rainy and cold and we had orders to scout ahead. The thing about orders was, you didn't question them. Me and this other guy went stalking through the jungle, looking all around for a sign of the enemy. There was none until it was too late.

So lay me down

In that open field out on the edge of town

And know my soul

Is where my momma always prayed that it would go

If you're reading this I'm already home

I never have been religious, or even read a lot. But I know people talk about great extravagant things happening when you die. It's true. I knew I was going to die as soon as I heard the first shot. I fell when a bullet hit me; I knew it was coming, like de ja vu. I floated away. I saw my mom in her flowerbed, and Evie sitting at her desk writing. I was so close to them I could have touched them, if I had been more than a ghost.

If you're reading this half way around the world

I won't be there to see the birth of our little girl

I hope she looks like you, I hope she fights like me

And stands up for the innocent and the weak

I wanted to be home with them. Evie use to make plans for when we were old. All I would ever get now was her plans. I wish this wasn't going to be so hard on her. I wished I had time to write her, just to tell her not to let this bother her too much, and to tell her how much I really did love her. I guess what I really wanted was just to see her and touch her and kiss her lips, a chance to say goodbye.

I'm laying down my gun, I'm hanging up my boots

Tell dad I don't regret that I followed in his shoes

I hope they don't forget me, but I hope they remember I am the one who died, not them. I hope my dad knows that I didn't hide; I was as tough as he was in all his old war stories. I won't be the only one to die over here, and I know that, maybe there is another boy like me dying just like I am right now. I hope someone will miss him like I know I will be missed.

So lay me down

In that open field out on the edge of town

And know my soul

Is where my momma always prayed that it would go

If you're reading this I'm already home

Evie will find someone new, I know it will take her a while, but she will love again. I hope she has the daughter she's always talked about wanting. I hope she knows I'm always going to watch over her. I'm not scared of dying, because my momma has always told me what heaven is like and I know she has said enough prayers that I will be there.

If you're reading this there's gonna come a day

When you move on and find someone else and that's okay

Just remember this I'm in a better place

Where soldiers live in peace and angels sing "Amazing Grace"

I watched my funeral. It was a moving thing. The gang was there, and my mom and Evie. Every one cried. I'm not bitter that the gang didn't go to war. I'm happy for them that they didn't have to. Maybe in some way what I did over there will keep them safe in the future. I'm proud of what I did for my country and my friends.

So lay me down

In that open field out on the edge of town

And know my soul

Is where my momma always prayed that it would go

If you're reading this, if you're reading this I'm already home

I think Evie knows all the things I won't have a chance to say to her. I love her, and I'm home.


Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it!