1This story goes with 'I'm Already Home: Steve's tale' they should be read together. they both are fill in the blanks of my 'Brown Eyed Girl' story.
Before Steve left he swore we would get married as soon as he came back. I've been waiting forever it feels like.
It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen
All dressed in white, goin' to the church that night
She had his box of letters in the passenger seat
Six pence in a shoe, somethin' borrowed, somethin' blue
I couldn't stand the idle time on my hands. I write him every day, sometimes twice a day when it's really bad. He didn't write me that often and he seemed less and less like the boy I knew. He was turning into a man I didn't know. I think most people misunderstood Steve, except maybe Sodapop. He wasn't just a hateful, violent, smart-aleck. He was so thoughtful with me. He held my hand when we were in his car or when we were with his friends. He kissed me tenderly and always made me feel safe and loved. I was crazy about him.
And when the church doors opened up wide
She put her veil down, tryin' to hide the tears
Oh, she just couldn't believe it
She heard the trumpets from the military band
And the flowers fell out of her hands
When I saw his mother at my door, at first I was confused but then I was sick.
Baby, why'd you leave me? Why'd you have to go?
I was countin' on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
I was numb in side. He had to come back. His mother said Steve was MIA. The army sent her a letter. The army took her only son without giving him a choice and now the best they could do was send her a lousy letter. But he had to come home. He promised he'd marry me.
It's like I'm lookin' from a distance, standin' in the background
Everybody's sayin', he's not comin' home now
This can't be happenin' to me
This is just a dream
There was a special Sunday service held for him. I wondered if this was supposed to be a replacement funeral. They had already given up hope. Even his mom, but I couldn't. He had to come back. He promised.
The preacher man said, "Let's bow our heads and pray"
Lord, please lift his soul and heal this hurt
Then the congregation all stood up and sang
The saddest song that she ever heard
I was wrong. It wasn't even a week later; his mom was at my door again. She had a tearstained face and a folded flag, Steve's flag. I hit my knees involuntarily. I couldn't breathe or stand, or stop crying. He wasn't coming back, only his body. I wouldn't be marrying him.
And then they handed her a folded up flag
And she held on to all she had left of him
Oh, and what could've been
And then the guns rang one last shot
And it felt like a bullet in her heart
I should have never let him go I should have held on tighter, I should have married him sooner. I know he wouldn't have gone if he had a choice. He put on a brave face and acted excited about it. But I know inside he was afraid of this outcome. He didn't belong over there. He belonged with me. He promised he was coming back to me and I was stupid enough to believe he really would.
Baby, why'd you leave me? Why'd you have to go?
I was countin' on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
I don't know how long I stayed there on my knees sobbing and screaming at the sky. Why him? He didn't deserve to die in a war he didn't want to fight. It was so hard to believe he wasn't coming back. I couldn't get my head around it.
It's like I'm lookin' from a distance, standin' in the background
Everybody's sayin', he's not comin' home now
This can't be happenin' to me
This is just a dream
I cried and prayed for weeks but I couldn't make it make sense. i just knew we would be one of those couples who still act like teenage lovers when we were eighty. But now I won't ever see him with gray hair, or as a new dad. He was just gone.
Ooh, baby, why'd you leave me? Why'd you have to go?
I was countin' on forever, now I'll never know
Oh, I'll never know
Life isn't fair and apparently neither was death. Why did fate pick Steve to take away? Everyone else missed the draft, except Two-Bit. Why did they take him?
It's like I'm lookin' from a distance, standin' in the background
Everybody's sayin', he's not comin' home now
This can't be happenin' to me
This is just a dream
I woke up. It had been the worst, most realistic dream I had ever had. It wasn't a dream, it had been a nightmare. I took in a great breath of relief. Steve was coming back, he promised. Then the sound that woke me, I went to the door to see who was knocking; Steve's mother. She was crying, and holding a folded up flag. Steve wasn't coming back.
Oh, this is just a dream
It's just a dream, yeah, yeah
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it.