AN: Just so you know I always imagine Joker as the starkly white, green haired, chemically scarred mad man that I grew up with. But if you want to imagine him a different way I won't try to stop you.
Disclaimer: If I owned anything other than the plot I'd be doing a happy dance.
It was 'Billionaire Bruce Wayne's Thirtieth Birthday', and anyone who was anyone just had to be there.
Dignitaries and Diplomats, Celebrities of high fame all the way down to the most recent flash-in-the-pan Superstar, Old money and New- they all showed up if the managed to get an invitation.
And once they arrived they made sure to be seen by as many people as possible. Every person posed and preened for the multitude of cameras circling the ballroom like vultures.
All except for one man- the Birthday Boy. He had managed to slip away to a quiet balcony unnoticed for the simple fact that no-one had yet to recognize him. He just wanted a moment alone- and maybe a plan on how to remove those vapid people from his home- but what he got was an unexpected visitor.
"Oh my! What have we here? Is it the birthday boy? Why I think it is! Tell me birthday boy: why do I find you out here, in the open, instead of inside where I can make a proper scene?" Looking into deadly green eyes Bruce felt the Batman stir at the back of his mind, preparing to take over and take out the mad clown before them.
But for now Bruce held him back and decided to simply see where this encounter would take him. After all, he wanted to get away from this horrible party. What better way to do that than with the help of Gotham's most wanted mad man?
And if things got out of hand, Batman could always step forward and take the clown out. Satisfied he had found the perfect escape, Bruce fully turned towards the purple suited man.
Just as he opened his mouth to flippantly ask if the mad clown had actually received an invitation, the balcony doors opened. Moving by pure instinct, Bruce dove behind a pillar- accidentally bringing the Joker with him.
Giving a cautious look around his makeshift shield, the tall man turned to the shocked clown at his side. Deciding that he might feel better to get it all off his chest, Bruce let himself honestly vent to probably the only person who wouldn't judge him harshly for it.
"I am out here because not more than two percent of the total guests in my home tonight actually know who I am, and of those that do know me they are only here to have their picture taken and to ask me for money. It is very annoying as you can imagine, I'm sure. I would, in fact, prefer to be just about anywhere else tonight- this is no way to celebrate a birthday. And I don't care what the ton thinks on that matter!" The last was said towards the closed balcony doors.
Composing himself, Bruce looked around to see that the Joker had a very contemplative look on his face. As the Batman tensed anew, Bruce gave a huff- it was only half contrived- and decided to continue as he had begun.
"You're here to ask me for money too, aren't you." At the small nod and big puppy dog eyes he received, he gave a small laugh. Why was he so relaxed around the psycho when he could hear all of the Batman's warnings in his ear?
Shaking off the thought when the door opened again, and diving behind the pillar once more- only this time he purposely brought the Joker with him- Bruce decided on what he wanted to do for his birthday.
Looking at the clown that he still held close- and wishing fervently that whoever had come outside would quickly go back inside- Bruce asked the clown a simple question.
"WHAT?!" Shushing the Clown Prince of Crime, the billionaire repeated himself.
"I said: Would you please kidnap me tonight? You see, I wasn't lying when I said I'd rather be anywhere else. If you like I can pay you a healthy ransom upfront for my safe return once the infestation of my home has run its course." Giving as pleading a smile as he could manage, Bruce waited for a reply.
It took a few moments- during which time the unwanted guest had gone back inside, leaving the balcony door open- but the clown finally gave a wide smile.
"Ten million and I'll gladly be your personal Party Clown all evening long." Bruce could now hear the shrill laughter coming from inside, so he didn't even hesitate to agree with the clown- even though he could also hear Batman grumbling in the far recesses of his mind.
But this was his night and he could do with it what he liked! And if things got out of control, then Batman could take over and do as he pleased. With that last decisive thought Bruce felt Batman settle down into a watchful presence behind his eyes- it was a comforting feeling- as he transfered the money to an off shore account.
With a shout, the Joker grabbed Bruce by the wrist and practically dragged him to the garage.
"I've always wanted to drive a Porsche!" Was the the last thing said before they were tearing off down the road, the crazed clown at the wheel and the billionaire holding on for dear life.