A/N: Hi people! So...I know a lot of people do Wicked parodies. I know. I've read a lot of them. So I though I might try my hand at writing one. Please don't kill me! *hides behind Elphaba* I owe most of my inspiration to Elle Leigh Woods. I read her fic Wicked: the parody & I nearly died laughing! You all should read it. Anyway...without further adieu...Let the parody begin!

Disclaimer: NO! I do not own Wicked! waaaaah! :(


Ozians: GOOD NEWS! SHE'S DEAD!

Random Wicked fan: NO! ELPHABA ISN'T DEAD! SHE JUST-

*Random Wicked fan is thrown out into the Lobby*

Ozians: Um…OH YEAH!

THE WITCH OF THE WEST IS DEAD!

THE WICKED-EST WITCH THERE EVER WAS!

THE ENEMY OF ALL OF US HERE IN OZ IS DEAD!

GOOD NEWS!

Random guy Ozian: HEY! LOOK OVER THERE!

Ozian #1: Where?

Random guy Ozian: THERE!

Crazy Ozian: IT'S A UFO!

All Ozians: AHHH! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Ozian #1: OH, I SEE IT! Wait…what am I looking at?

*Ozian #2 hits Ozian #1 over the head with an umbrella*

Ozian #2: BRAINLESS! It's Glinda! DUH!

Fiyero: *walks onstage* Somebody call me?

Director: Fiyero! Get off the stage! You're not on yet!

Fiyero: I'm not? Darn….*walks offstage sulking*

Director: *picks up random megaphone* OKAY! GET ON WITH IT!

Ozian #1: Um…what was I saying again?

*Director facepalms*

Glinda: Uh, HELLO? SOMEBODY FORGET THAT I'M STILL UP HERE?

Ozian #1: Oh YEAH! LOOK! IT'S GLINDA!

Ozian #2 *hits Ozian #1 with an umbrella again* No duh, STUPID!

Ozian #1: OW!

Glinda: It's good to see me, isn't it?

Glinda fans: YES!

Glinda: No need to respond, that was…um, LINE?!

*Director hits herself with her clipboard*

Boq: *sneaks onstage* Rhetorical! Your line is: No need to respond, that was RHETORICAL!

Glinda: AW! Thanks Biq!

Boq: IT'S BOQ! *stomps offstage*

Glinda: Umm…Anyway! FELLOW OZIANS!

Ozians: YES?

Glinda: LET US BE GLAD! LET US BE GREATFUL!

LET US REJOICIFY THAT GOODNESS COULD SUBDUE

THE WICKED WORKINGS OF YOU-KNOW-WHO!

Dumb Ozian: VOLDEMORT?!

Harry Potter: *runs onstage* WHO SAID HIS NAME? I HAVE A WAND AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!

Glinda: *twirls her wand like she does in act 2* SO DO I!

*Ozian #2: *hits Harry Potter with her umbrella*

Harry Potter: *falls into the Orchestra pit* OW!

Glinda: *stomps foot angrily* AW, COME ON! I DIDN'T GET TO FINISH MY SONG!

Director: THEN GET ON WITH IT!

Glinda: *smiles* Okay!

ISN'T IT NICE TO KNOW

THAT GOOD WILL CONQUER EVIL?

THAT TRUTH WE ALL BELIEVE'LL BY AND BY

OUTLIVE A LIE

FOR YOU AND-

Random Ozian: NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED!

Ozian #2: *Waves umbrella around menacingly* NO ONE CRIES THEY WON'T RETURN!

*Awkward silence*

Ozian #3: DANG! I MISSED MY CUE! *Runs offstage crying and falls into the orchestra pit*

#1 Wicked fan: *gets up onstage* OOH! This is my big chance! *squeals and sings WAY off-key*

NO ONE LIES A LILY ON THEIR GRAVE!

Ozians & Glinda: Ummm…

Ozian #1: *looks around confused* Uh….A good man scorns the Wicked? I-Is that right? *looks up at Glinda*

Glinda: *is admiring her reflection* Wha? Oh, um….Yeah, I think so…. *yells at the Director* HEY! IS THAT RIGHT?

Director: *sinks down in her seat*

Glinda: *shrugs* Oh well. *looks down at Ozians* Now what?

Ozian #4: I wanna go to Friendly's! *orchestra plays along to Friendly's jingle*

Glinda: Where ice cream makes the meal!

*Glinda's bubble pops and she face-plants onto the stage*

*Ozians gasp*

Glinda: Ow. *Looks at her hand and screams*

Random paramedic: *runs onstage* What's wrong, miss? Do you need medical attention?

Glinda: I BROKE A NAIL! *cries*

*paramedic rolls his eyes and walks back offstage*

Glinda: *gets up and brushes herself off* Well, that was fun. Now, what were we doing again?

Random person in the audience: GLINDA! IS IT TRUE YOU WERE HER FRIEND?

Glinda: Oh, Shiz...


On to chapter two!