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Looking for draft critique
Yasuo Yamada Kamiya

Unfortunately, I can't link to it, but I had earlier tried getting draft critique for my series, Rhythmic Pretty Cure, on TV Tropes, and it's stalled there so far, so I figured I may as well bring my present draft for episode 1 here. For me it's been a long and tiring road (long story), but I'm nearly reaching my destination, at which point I'll finalize my draft. All I need now is to make any further refinements necessary. And now, without further ado...

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rmUddZNDKUIQS9flrE9vVie0Q5D-i0UgnK56NLG1ue4/

2/16/2015 . Edited 2/19/2015 #1 Report
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