Hey, everyone I'm Dani Kane. I'm 27, I live in Iowa. I love reading The Harry Potter books and fanfictions, cooking, singing, dancing and rollerblading. I love reading fanfics. My favorite TV show is and always will be Buffy the Vampire Slayer. My new favorite show is True Blood! Love it.
TOUGH GIRLS COME FROM THE EAST, SWEET GIRLS COME FROM THE WEST, BUT WE IOWA GIRLS HAVE FIRE AND ICE IN OUR BLOOD, WE CAN RIDE FOUR WHEELER’S, BE A PRINCESS, COOK LIKE A CHEF, THROW LEFT HOOKS AND DRINK WITH THE BOYS...IF WE HAVE AN OPINION YOU KNOW YOU'RE GONNA HEAR IT,... RE-POST... IF YOU’RE A TRUE IOWA GIRL!!!!!
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you agree that rum is for drinking, not burning, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumb war with yourself (I find that I am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this on to your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this on to your profile!
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. (I don't own I got this from I'm The Reason The Rum Is Gone.)
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost
Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Its ok to cry, I cried, so can you.
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up.
He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism.
FUNNY TRUE SIGNS:
At a train station: KEEP BACK FROM THE PLATFORM EDGE...or you may get sucked off
At a zoo: PLEASE BE SAFE. Do not stand, sit, climb or lean on zoo fences. If you fall, animals could eat you and that might make them sick. THANK YOU.
In a bathroom: OUR AIM IS TO KEEP THIS BATHROOM CLEAN. GENTLEMEN: Your aim will help. Stand closer, it's shorter than you think. LADIES: Please remain seated for the entire performance.
On a machine: CAUTION! This machine has no brain. Use your own.
In a subway car: Ladies, the poles are fitted for your safety. No dancing.
At a park: ATTENTION DOG GUARDIANS: Pick up after your dog. Thank you. ATTENTION DOGS: Grrrrrr, bark, woof. Good dog.
At a downtown shop: MR. TOSKANA has had an EXPENSIVE divorce and now needs the money, so SALE NOW ON!
At the a mall: PLEASE don't throw your cigarette ends on the floor--the cockroaches are getting cancer. I saw this on shadowglove's profile and I had to post it here. No I do not own it.
I found this to on shadowglove's profile and she got it from THEATTENTIONJUSTENCOURAGESHER'S PROFILE.
No, I do not own the following:
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
Life was so simple when boys had cooties
I ran with scissors, and lived!
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
Thanks Stephenie now I will NEVER get a man.
I hear voices, and they don't like you.
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.
You know what makes letting go of a crush so hard? The fear that the moment you let go, they'll catch on.
It's true, Edward Cullen prefers brunettes. Sorry, Barbie you aren't Bella, and Edward isn't your Ken.
Jacob Black glared at the children dressed as vampires and he knew it wasn't right but he lied and told them there was no candy left anyway.
On a package of peanuts: open package, eat nuts. (What were you supposed to do? Throw them at the people sitting near you?) Hell yeah!
Again I got this from shadowglove's profile and I don't own.
...You Know It's gonna be a bad day when:
You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.
You see a 60 Minutes news team waiting in your office.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of your candle.
While following a group of Hell's Angels, you tap your horn accidentally and it sticks.
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, blissfulmemories, Misfit Band Geek, Inuyashagrl101,purpleface14, DX-Dynamite, Jeffismyhero1217, Legolas' Girl 31,
I don't own the following I got it from 's Profile:
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
1990!! Do YOU remember the 90s??
Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid. It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. I am sorry but three conscious years of the 90's just wont cut it. You're a 90's kid if You remember watching -Doug -Ren & Stimpy -Pinky and the Brain -AAAAAAAH Real Monsters! -Rockos modern Life. -Animaniacs -Gargoyles. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!" You just cant resist finishing this . . . "in west Philadelphia born and raised . . ." You remember -Step by Step -Family Matters -Dinosaurs -Boy Meets World. You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons. You remember reading "Goosebumps." You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not. When everything was settled by -rock paper scissors or -bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or -ms. mary mack. When kick ball was a daily activity. When we used to obey our parents. You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time on a tape. You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular. You remember The Original Game Boy. You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny. You remember watching -The Magic School Bus -Wishbone -Reading Rainbow -and Ghostwriter on PBS. You remember when Yo-Yos were cool. You remember those Where's Waldo books. You remember eating Warheads and Splashers Gum. You remember watching -the 1st Batman -Aladdin -Ninja Turtles -ghost busters You remember Ring Pops. If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!" You remember boom boxes vs. cd players. Making those little paper fortune things, and then predicting your life with them. You played and/or collected "Pogs" You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere. One word. . . . . . . .trolls. Windows 95 was the best. You watched the original cartoons of -Rugrats -Wild Thornberry's -Power Rangers -Rocket Power. All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand. You collected those Beanie Babies. Carebears, Lambchop's song never ended. Silver dollars, which were cool to have. Everyone watched the WB. If you even know what an original walkman is. You know the Macarena by heart. "Talk to the hand" . . . enough said. You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace. You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground. Before the MySpace frenzy . . . Before the Internet & text messaging . . . Before Sidekicks & iPods . . . Before PlayStation3 or X-BOX 360 . . . Before Spongebob . . . Before Tupac was shot. When light up sneakers were cool. When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs. When gas was 0.95 a gallon. When we recorded stuff on VCRs. You had slap bracelets! You Actually played outside until it was dark! Way back. Before we realized all this would eventually disappear. Post this in your bulletin if you remember these days . . . . POWER TO THE CHILDREN OF THE 90'S!! LIVE ON!!
Ten reasons to be team Jasper:
1. He's sensitive to your feelings, literally.
2. He doesn't take his brothers to strip clubs.
3. He fought in the civil war.
4. He didn't kill Bella.
5. He sparkles.
6. He never left anyone.
7. He showed everyone how to fight.
8. Blonds have more fun.
9. He has an amazing ability to put up with Rosalie.
10. He's just that cool. TEAM JASPER ALWAYS AND FOREVER AMEN!
Edward. I hate Edward. He is an emotionally abusive, all round manipulative, pompous and overreactive stalkerish asshole. Who needs to grow up. Period.
10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen:
10. Sing “Discovery Channel” by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.
9. Hot-wire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.
8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically pedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.
7. Ask how Tanya is.
6. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”
5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face.
4. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”
3.Tell him his hair isn't bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.
2.Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.
And the Number One way to annoy Edward Cullen?
1.Take his silver cell phone and change the ring-tone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna.
(borrowed from Twilight 4ever84 & Whitlocklover32)
A TRUE FRIEND DOESN'T CARE WHEN YOU'E BROKEN, WHAT YOU WEIGH, IF YOU DON'T SEE THEM FOR MONTHS, IF YOUR HOUSE IS A MESS, WHAT YOU DRIVE, ABOUT YOUR PAST,OR IF YOUR FAMILY IS FILLED WITH CRAZY PEOPLE. YOUR CONVERSATIONS PICK UP WHERE THEY LEFT OFF, EVEN IF THEY HAVE BEEN MONTHS APART, THEY LOVE YOU... FOR WHO YOU ARE, COPY AND PASTE TOU YOUR PROFILE IF YOU HAVE AT LEAST ONE TRUE FRIEND. THEY WILL KNOW WHO THEY ARE.
Your One and Only Wish
Do it one by one, don't look ahead
1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which color do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favorite number?
8. Do you like California or Florida more?
9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
Are you done? If so, scroll down (don't cheat--)
1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.
3. If your initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4. If you were born in: Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.
July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.
Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soulmate.
5. If you choose...
Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.
8. If you choose... California: You like adventure. Florida: You are a laidback person.
9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday
the way you talk to me
the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car
I hate the way you stare
I hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind
I hate you so much it makes me sick
it even makes me rhyme
I hate the way you're always right
I hate the way you lie
I hate the way you make me laugh
and even worse when you make me cry
I hate it that you're not around
and the fact that you didn't call
I hate the way
I DON'T HATE YOU
not even close
not a bit
not even at all...
THINGS I MUST NOT DO AT HOGWARTS:
1. I will NOT sing “We’re off to see The Wizard” when I am sent to the headmasters office.
2. Dobby is NOT Yoda is disguise.
3. He is NOT Gollum either.
4. I will NOT bring a magic-8-ball to Divination Class.
5. My homework was NOT eaten by a werewolf. Especially when my teacher is Professor Lupin.
6. I will NOT tell the first years to make a tree-house in the Whomping Willow.
7. I will NOT give Lupin a flea collar.
8. Nor will I leave dog-biscuits on his desk.
9. If a classmate falls asleep I will NOT take advantage of this and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
10. Starting a betting-pool on the fate of this year’s Defense against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky. It is NOT a clever money-making concept.
11. I do NOT have a Dalek Patronus.
12. I will NOT teach House-Elves to impersonate Jar-Jar Binks.
13. Shouting “To Infinity and Beyond!” was only funny the first time I took off on a broom.
14. I will NOT refer to the summoning charm (Accio) as “The Force”.
15. “Springtime for Voldemort” is NOT an appropriate title for the school production.
16. I will NOT greet Prof. McGonagall with “What’s new Pussy-cat?”.
17. I will NOT send shampoo to Snape’s office, no matter how badly he needs it.
18. "Potter 6, Voldemort 0" is not a valid T-shirt slogan.
19. Even though they are easier to use and probably more effective, I will not use guns against the Death Eaters.
20. I will not charm Firenze pink and call him "My Little Pony."
21. No matter how funny it is I will NOT leave kitty litter in Prof. McGonagall’s office.
22. I will NOT dress up as Lord Voldemort for Halloween.
23. I will NOT ask Harry Potter if his “Scar-Senses” are tingling.
24. I will NOT call Dumbledore Santa Claus. Even if it is Christmas.
25. I will NOT tell Voldemort to “Get a life”.
26. I will NOT ask Professor Dumbledore if I can learn Parseltongue for a foreign language.
27. I will NOT scream lumos and/or nox at the light switch... again.
28. I will NOT under any circumstances ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
29. I will NOT jump up in the middle of an Order or DA meeting and yell "Voldemort, run!"
30. I will NOT tease Dymphna Furmage by releasing Cornish Pixies near her.
Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is.
Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’.
Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever.
Professor Moody … does the best ‘teaching’ Hogwarts has seen in a while.
Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her.
Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’.
Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy.
Draco Malfoy … disagrees.
Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand.
Ron Weasley … is very afraid.
Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much.
Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat.
Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out.
George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and will not be remotely sorry.
Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter.
James Potter … doesn’t believe her.
Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’.
Sirius Black … was killed by drapery.
Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences.
Bellatrix Black … is 'quietly' going insane.
Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush.
Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’.
Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pull out a mandrake in his presence.
Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.
Slytherins … will push someone else off.
Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.
Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet.