stole stuff somewhere so its goes there the honor not to me so dont curse/bann/hate/sue/send-assasins/death-treats. etc...
peace lot of it im an anime fan i read too much i need a hobby
Tazuna, Sasuke and Sakura sweat dropped, Naruto on the other hand had just had his anger riled because Kakashi was late. Again.
“Wait, wait! Don’t tell me. You’re late today because you got lost on the road of life while helping some random old lady cross a random street; after saving her poor pooch from a rampage of S ranked criminals who had set a fire on the mime you were copying because you covered the wrong eye with your headband.”==
“Chakra is 50 spiritual energy and 50 stamina, there are also other types like Ki which is 93 mental energy and spiritual energy and 7 stamina, Psi 75 mental energy and 25 spiritual energy, and finally mana which is 40 Spiritual energy, 50 mental energy and 10 stamina.”==
I've done it! After eighteen weeks of hard labor digging out and building a secret basement lab, four months of hooking together unnessecarily complicated machinery, six days and nights of inputting incomprehensible code that even I can barely understand, and enough cups of coffee to fill a medium sized sea, I have finally completed my masterpiece! Now... if only I could remember what it does. Where are my notes?"==
Magic is the mental infestation of the life energy all humans contain, it is also known as mana. From the three forms of known life energy, that are able to be manipulated, magic users are recognized by there yellow auras. Where as the other two are recognized by their respective blue (chakra) and red (Ki) color. Ki is also called the physical infestation of life energy and Chakra is a combination of the physical and the mental. A Oniriyousha is easily recognizable by their yellow hair and blue eyes. The brighter the color, the greater their Mana supplies. It is even rumored that the really strong magic users eventually gain white hair and pure silver eyes and are able to increase their lifespan indefinitely. These are however rumors since nobody has ever been able to reach that level of power.-
"Chaos is the Ultimate Balance in the Universe. Both Good and Evil, both Right and Wrong, both Order and Darkness... to lose Chaos means to lose Everything."
--Don't piss me off today, I'm running out of places to hide to bodies XD
-- Evolution -- life's a niche, and then you die.
-- "The physiology exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper."
-- If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?
-- If I seem to give a damn, please tell me. I would hate to be giving the wrong impression. XD
-- I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.
-- I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
-- I find it rather easy to protray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.
-- I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't like?
-- Instant gratification takes too long.
-- Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked "Brightness," but it doesn't work.
-- Just when you realize life's a bitch, it has puppies.
-- The fellow that agrees with everything you say... is either a fool... or he is getting ready to skin you.
-- Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad.
-- I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.
-- I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
-- I regard you with an indifference closely bordering on aversion.
-- Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.
-- All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
-- There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown about it, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.
-- Scientists say that 1 out of every 4 people are crazy... so go check 3 of your friends, if it's not them...
-- Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING?
-- I'm not antisocial, I just don't like you.
-- I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
-- Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking.
-- I lay at my bed last night, counting the stars, and I thought to myself: Where the hell did my ceiling go?!
-- Finals equals academic suicide.
-- Well... The voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.
-- I hear voices... They said they don't like you.
-- I'm sleeping...Please IM me quietly XD
-- Looking at the mirror. Enjoying the view. Be back later :D
-- Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
-- Leave a message, and I'll IM you back later. Leave a SEXY message and I'll IM you back sooner.
-- I'm not available right now so please leave your name, number, and address and I will Stalk you later.
-- You! Out of the gene pool--NOW!
-- Nostalgia? Revenge is a form of Nostalgia, right?
-- Due to circumstances within my control, tomorrow will be cancelled.
-- Due to recent cutbacks and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
-- The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
-- Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view.
-- In man's struggle against the world, bet on the world.
-- If you can't say anything nice, then at least have the decency to be vague.
-- Depression n. - Anger without enthusiasm.
-- The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea hits you, and just before you realize what is wrong with it.
-- I am currently occupied, give me a couple minutes to get frustrated and then I'll get back to you.
-- I'm drunk...I'm armed...I'm off my meds. You had better make your message really, really sweet.
-- Hi, I'm probably here, I'm just avoiding someone I don't want to talk to. Leave a message and if I don't IM you back, well, what can I say?
-- Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it is time to get up.
-- That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast.
-- Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy ANYTHING.
-- There are plenty more fish in the sea, but who wants to go out with a fish?
Extras and Funny Lists I Have Found:
(Okay, I looked at the forty-nine laws of anime and I couldn't stop laughing because it's absolutely true)
Fourty- Nine laws of Anime:
Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito
1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
The normal laws of physics do not apply.
2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.
4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.
5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.
6. Law of Temporal Variability
Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.
7. First Law of Temporal Mortality
'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.
8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality
It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.
9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis
Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).
10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.
11. Law of Inherent Combustability
Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".
12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission
Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.
13. Law of Energetic Emission
There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.
14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.
First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.
15. Law of Inexhaustability
No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.
16. Law of Inverse Accuracy
The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)
Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.
17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
Minmei is a bimbo.
18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.
19. Law of Demonic Consistency
Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.
20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.
21. Law of Tactical Unreliability
Tactical geniuses aren't...
22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.
23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.
24. Law of Americanthropomorphism
Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.
First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)
Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.
25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality
The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.
26. Law of Feline Mutation
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
a) be female
b) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation
c)and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.
27. Law of Conservation of Firepower
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.
28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.
29. Law of Melee Luminescence
Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.
30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.
31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.
32. Law of Follicular Permanence
Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!
33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.
34. Law of Probable Attire
Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
--Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).
--Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.
35. Law of Musical Omnipotence
Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.
36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination
Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
a) The Hero/Leader
b) His girlfriend
c) His Best Friend/Rival
d) A Hulking Brute
e) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance
All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.
First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.
38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission
Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.
39. Law of Inverse Attraction
Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.
First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...
40. Law of Nasal Sanguination
When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.
41. Law of Xylolaceration
Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.
42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.
43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia
There is no Law #43.
44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation
The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.
45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.
46. Law of Flimsy Incognition
Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives
overlord credits go this site
Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present...
overlord credits here
Everyone shuddered. Two screeches coming from a pink haired girl and duck-ass haired boy, is all greeting they received. "YOU'RE LATE!"
Kakashi scratched his head sheepishly. "Now, now. Calm down. We both have a perfectly good reason for being late, don't we Naruto-kun?" The blonde next to the man nodded in agreement.
Sakura glared hatefully at the two of them, tapping her foot. "Well!? Let's hear it!"
They nodded and Kakashi started. "We were on our way here when,"
Now Naruto spoke. "A black cat appeared in the road,"
Kakashi... "So naturally we had to take another route."
"Then we came across an eagle that was trapped in a bin and we freed it, earning it's gratitude..."
"Then when we started walking again, we noticed the Hokage tower on fire, so naturally..."
"We saved the day and lives of those poor paper- and pencil-pushers... so..."
And in unison. "We're hero's!!" They chirped, smiling happily.
Silence is all that greeted them... for several seconds anyway. Again, two screeches, the some ones as before, could be heard. "LIARS!"
Right after the two had screeched, a small Eagle flew into the clearing and landed on the shoulder of Kakashi. It then nipped his hair affectionately, and flew over to Naruto and did the same, then flew off into the sun's direction. Everyone blinked at the odd occurrence.
Kakashi coughed to clear his throat. "Anyway... Let's start this test. This alarm clock here is set to noon. I have on my belt, two bells, as does Anko over there. Your objectives is to get a bell. Each person that gets a bell passes. Simple as that. Understand?"
from http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1077352/ToxicManipulator fanfic
Taking into account the time that he had, he began to close his eyes, before he did, though, he spoke into his mind. 'If you say one damn thing, Alter, you get the bunny treatment!' "What's the bunny treatment?" 'I will put an army of ninja bunnies in the mindscape and give them the powers to shoot rainbows from their hands and blow sugar out of their asses!' "You wouldn't..."
Naruto's mind went quiet and he started to hear Alter speak. "Huh? What...what the fuck is that? OH SHIT! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! AAAAAHHHHH!" Naruto chuckled darkly to himself, getting freaked out looks from the others. Naruto then heard the sounds of battle coming from inside his head. "GET AWAY YOU FUCKING BUNNY RABBITS! NO ONE WANTS YOUR ASS SUGAR! Wait...is that...GRENADE!"
Naruto burst out laughing as he started to doze off. Takashi heard him and began to shiver. 'I swear...this guy's insane when he's tired. It's scary as hell...' Takashi then closed his eyes as he fell asleep with Rei on his shoulder. Naruto himself soon drifted off into sleep.
║║║╠╗╔╣║║║╔╗╠╗╔╣╔╗║║║Put this on your
║╚╝║║║║║║║╚╝║║║║╚╝║╚╝page if you love
I have discovered the equation to go over the top in everything!
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98 percent
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96 percent
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100 percent
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103 percent
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118 percent
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while HARDWORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, and ATTITUDE will get you there, its really the BULLSHIT and the ASS KISSING that will put you over the top.
( )_( )
(='.'=) Rabbit-kun says, "YAOI SUCKS AND YOU KNOW IT!"
(\_/) ('")('")o Usagi-chan says, "Itachi-kun kicks ass, and Sasuke-teme takes it IN the ass"
(='.'=) This is Bunny. Put him on your profile to help him achieve World
(")_(") Domination and come join the Dark Side! We have cookies! MWAHAHA!