If you're ever insulted/hurt by a review I leave, I'm sorry, but if I leave constructive criticism, it means I actually enjoy your story. If I care enough to leave you things you could work on, it means I think the story has potential and I like it, well done!
I'm available for beta reading, I am sort of new to this whole beta reading thing but I can try! If you could quickly take a look at my beta page (if you're looking for a beta) that would be great, I'm always looking for authors to help out a bit!
I write bad fanfiction. I have written for Warriors, and I'm doing a cross-over between Percy Jackson and Harry Potter (Not much of Percy though. Nico and Calypso are taking their well-deserved time in the limelight)
My favourite Percy Jackson ships are Caleo, Solangelo and Frazel. I will also prefer not to break up Percabeth and Jasper, but they aren't in my top three. My favourite characters are Leo, Nico and Calypso... don't ask... I'm a weird person... Also, I've recently been weirdly into Valdangelo/Leico recently. I still love Solangelo but for some reason, Valdangelo interests me too. I love stories where they are at least good friends, there's so little of that.
My favourite characters in Warriors would have to be Bluestar, Dawnpelt and Crowfeather. Bluestar was just a really good leader and I'll admit I forgot about Dawnpelt for a while but now I like her again. At least more than Tigerheart/star. Crowfeather is my all-time favourite. He's just so grumpy and sharp-tongued but there's something likeable about him. Breezepelt isn't too bad either. I think the most underrated cats would be Daisy, Rainflower and Millie. Yes, I know those three are not particularly popular but I think they're great cats. Daisy raised many cats in modern ThunderClan, Rainflower was (in my opinion) ashamed of seeing what she had done to Storm/Crookedkit since she was the one who encouraged them so much, and Millie was the reason Graystripe came back to the clans at all.
I am currently working on-
Heart of the Willows (On hold for the moment- I'll get back to it some time this year, I can promise that much)
The Angel's Tournament (I am rewriting chapters at the moment and it's taking forever)
The Demigod Professors (Yet another HP/HoO crossover. Leo, Will and Nico at Hogwarts to teach)
A different crossover that's yet to be posted (Just a side project I'm slowly working on- I'll only start posting chapters once I've actually written the entire story)
NORMAL PEOPLE: See a stick with marks on it and ignore it.
WARRIORS FANS: See a stick with marks on it and know it is Jayfeather's.
NORMAL PEOPLE: Say 'OH MY GOSH' (OMG).
WARRIORS FANS: Say 'OH MY STARCLAN' (OMSC).
NORMAL PEOPLE: Go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings.
WARRIORS FANS: Knows Rock is watching them.
NORMAL PEOPLE: Say 'Shut up or I'll tell on you!'
WARRIORS FANS: Say 'Shut up or Tigerstar will get you!'
NORMAL PEOPLE: Say 'Dang it!'
WARRIORS FANS: Say 'Fox Dung!'
NORMAL PEOPLE: When being chased yell 'HELP ME, SOMEBODY!'
WARRIORS FANS: When being chased yell 'SPOTTEDLEAF, SHOW ME THE WAY!'
NORMAL PEOPLE: Think black cats are bad luck.
WARRIORS FANS: Think black cats are from ShadowClan. (Or maybe it's Hollyleaf)
NORMAL PEOPLE: Ignore this.
WARRIORS FANS: Copy this on their page just like I did
1 Scary way to break up
DO NOT stop reading this or something bad will happen! One day, Sarah was walking home from school when her boyfriend honked at her to get in. She got in his car and he drove her to the lake. Her boyfriend said he was going to tell her something very important. Sarah could have sworn he was going to propose. However, he flicked her off, pushed her in the lake and yelled, "I am breaking up with you, you awful _! I hate you and I think that maybe you should just end your _ life! DUMB _!" He laughed and drove off. It was a very cold day. Sarah climbed out of the lake, freezing cold, and feeling the worst she had in her entire life. She got home went in a hot bath, and slit her wrists and died in the bathtub. Her parents yelled and screamed at her to get out until they finally broke the door down. They saw no body, but the entire bathroom was dripping with her blood. Her mom went insane and killed herself three days later, her dad is in prison, accused of murder. Later that week, Sarah's ex boyfriend was taking a shower when she came up from the drain, rotting and bloody, with a razor in her hand and said "Goodbye Jason." She cut his throat before he could scream. If you do not repost this with the title "1 scary way to break up", you are a heartless _ and Sarah come to you from the shower in the drain, and will kill you the say way she killed her boyfriend. 24 people have broken this chain and died. You have 13 minutes.
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
Quick! Write down 12 cats from the warriors series.
6. Tigerheart/star (the not evil one)
12. Clear Sky
1~What would you think about a name with 1's beginning and 4's ending?
Dovestar? I guess it's alright?
2~Would you consider naming a cat in your story with 2's first name and 3's last name?
Ivypelt. I thought there used to be a cat named Ivypelt in Warriors, but maybe I'm confusing them with Ivytail and Ivypool. ???
3~Would you make fun of a cat called 5's first name and 2's last name?
Hawkpool isn't that bad. I don't make fun of people (or cats) because of their names.
4~What genre would a story be with cat names, 1's first name and 2's last name, as a main character?
Dovepool? I mean, adventure, probably.
Write a prophecy meaning 1's first name and 3's last name will save the clan from dogs?
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RELATED TO PROPHECIES
What would 3's first name and 1's last name look like just from their name?
Breezewing... probably black with white patches and long legs. I don't know.
Can you see 5 and 3 as a paring?
Breezepelt and Hawkfrost... Not really.
If 9 was looking for a mate would they choose 6 or 4?
Jayfeather choosing between Tigerheart or Bramblestar... Um... neither? One, Jayfeather is a medicine cat, two, Bramblestar already has a mate, three, Tigerheart/star is also a leader, four, Tigerheart is from another clan, five, Jayfeather is too horrible to have a mate, though I obviously love Jayfeather. He's the best (fourth-best, actually, after Dawnpelt, Bluestar and Crowfeather, obviously)
Could you see 1 and 10 fighting over 7?
Dovewing and Crowfeather fighting over Harespring. NOOOOOO
Think of a plot for a love story involving 2 and 8
Ivypool and Tawnypelt. Even more unlikely than the previous question.
What would happen if 7 walked in on 5 and 10 making out?
Harespring walking in on Crowfeather and Hawkfrost making out. That would not happen but if did... Harespring, RUN!
Would 4 rather make out with 8 or slap 3?
Hawkfrost make out with Tawnypelt or slap Breezepelt. SLAP, OBVIOUSLY!
Has there ever been a fanfic about 1 and 2?
Dovewing and Ivypool sure, I'm sure there has been.
What would kits between 6 and 8 look like?
Tigerheart and Tawnypelt. EW, TIGERHEART PLEASE DO NOT HAVE KITS WITH YOUR MOTHER!!!
What is a pickup line 4 would use on 7?
Um, Bramblestar on Harespring. THIS IS TOO IMPOSSIBLE
If 6 and 5 got in a fight, who would 8 side with?
Tigerheart versus Hawkfrost, who would Tawnypelt side with? Obviously her son!
Have you ever read a 6/11 fanfiction before?
Tigerheart and Breezepelt? No, no, no.
Do you think 4 is hot? How hot?
Bramblestar... um... I guess he's handsome enough?
What would happen if 12 and 8 started going out?
Clear Sky and Tawnypelt? That wouldn't happen, but if it did, I'd laugh in the corner.
Do you recall any fics about 9?
No, but I'm sure there's Jayfeather fanfics out there.
Would 2 and 6 make a good couple?
No. Just. No. Tigerheart and Ivypool... No. Tigerheart is in love with Ivypool's SISTER for StarClan's sake!
5/9 or 5/10?
Hawkfrost Jayfeather or Hawkfrost Crowfeather... 5/10 so we can see who murders the other first, Hawkfrost or Crowfeather.
What would happen if 7 walked in on 2 and 8 kissing?
Harespring seeing Ivypool and Tawnypelt kissing... He would run.
Make a summary of a 3/10 fic?
Breezepelt and Crowfeather... NOOOOOOOO
Is there anything of 1/8 fluff?
Tawnypelt Dovewing? Don't think so!
Suggest a title for a 7/12 hurt/comfort fic?
What 10 might scream in a great moment of passion?
Crowfeather might scream I HATE THE WORLD (or "I HATE BREEZEPELT" or "WHY DOES BREEZEPELT HAVE A MATE AND I DON'T)
If you wrote a songfic about 1m what song would you use?
WHATS A SONGFIC?
If you wrote a 1/6/12 fic, what would the warning be?
Dovewing, Tigerheart, Clear Sky. Dovewing and Tigerheart are living happily and Clear Sky... he can just loiter at the sides.
Here is something I have just thought
If everyone gained a pound when they thought their life was good and they lost a pound when they thought their life sucked, most people would be broke.
Copy and paste if you are one of the few people who enjoy their life and wouldn't change it for the world. Except I would change how Spottedleaf died.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Re-post this message.
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.
My name is Tiffany I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see. I must be stupid, I must be bad What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my Mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't do a wrong I can't speak at all Or else I'm locked up All day long. When I'm awake I'm all alone; The house is dark, My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come home I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll just get One whipping tonight. I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's bar. I hear him curse My name is called I press myself Against the wall I try to hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry He finds me weeping Calls me ugly words, He says its my fault He suffers at work. He slaps and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And run to the door He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall, and I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken, "I'm sorry!" I scream But it's now to late; His face has been twisted With an unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again... Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door While I lay there motionless Brawled on the floor. My name is Tiffany I am three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me And you can help. Sickens me top the soul, And if you read this and don't pass it on I pray for your forgiveness Because you would have to be One heartless person To not be effected By this Poem And because you are effected, Do something about it! So all I ask you to do Is pass this on!
IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE!
When you were 5, your mom gave you an ice cream cone. You thank her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind.
When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming class to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back.
When you were 10, your mom paid for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class.
When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night.
When you were 14, your mom paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter.
When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got.
When you were 17, your mom drove you to the mall and gave you her credit card. You thanked her by maxing it out.
When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn.
When you were 20, your mom drove you to collage. You thanked her by saying good-bye to her outside the dorm so you wouldn't have to say bye in front of your friends.
When you were 26, your mom paid for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world.
When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents became to children.
Then, one day, she quietly died and everything you did came crashing down on you.
If YOU love your mom, re-post this and if you don't, you won't care if your mom dies, will you?
20 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
8 Dont use any punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work.
14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity . . . e-mail this to someone to make them smile and laugh. Its called therapy.
there were 2 girls
They were looking through peoples MySpaces.
The girl slowly came upon this one myspace.
It had creatures in the background and the man looked like a psycho.
She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.
Right then, an instant message came up.
SatanStalker: So how do u like my MySpace??
XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??
SatanStalker: Well, you should know; youre looking at my MySpace right now.
XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??
SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.
XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make any sense, how?
SatanStalker: I just do.
Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.
Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.
At the time the girl was wearing high shorts.
She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what ever she could. Her and her friend started to get worried now.
XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.
SatanStalker: You should be afraid.
SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you just said about me with your friend like a minute ago.
They were in shock.
Her friend: Holy crap man just block him hes a fcking psycho!
The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes watching us?
SatanStalker: I am.
SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldnt stop me from coming to your house.
XxLoVemExX: What? My house?
SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its not a problem.
XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.
SatanStalker: Your screen name says love me, trust me that wont be a problem.
SatanStalker has just signed off.
The girl and her friend were really scared. Girls
friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.
They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.
All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.
Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.
She goes and knocks but no one said anything
she opens it and finds her friend there on the ground dead. She started to scream but when she turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom;
her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.
If you do not repost this in the next two minutes here will be three men, one in your bathroom,
one in your room, and one killing your parents at that very moment.
Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?
Repost or you are going to die
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
Thanks for reading!