98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile please.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, Arktos, Mei Fire, Happy-Hippy, MavisClone101, PerfectionIsInTheEyes, Faith Crain, Kazeek, LLAMAS WILL RULE THE WORLD, Raye Lynne, NaruHinaFanboy, Arsao Tome, AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, iluvdavidwright45, dianeandnumairareahotcouple,windsoftiti, Ilovethelittletacos...Ilovethemgood, i-have-issues-deal-with-it, Kiba Obsessed Demonic Angel, Digital98, Anime-Kunoichi,Chinbaldo,Naruto Ninja44,May and Dawn are the best, rst64tlc, Gammatron, Dragolord09
You know you live in 2000+ when...:
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, Chocolate Chan, Staring.out.my.flooded.window, TheDevilsAngel93, c. b. o. l., Vert9411, Pinkcherryblossoms225, CherryBlossoms016, Sam-AKA-SakuxSasuLover-, Crimsonchidori, Alicia Kawa Uchiha, SilentSinger948, NaruHinaxNejiTen, Naruhina-Fanboy-Devlin, GravityTheWizard, thymistacles, danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Simply Manialoll, Coca-Cola is better than Pepsi, Neko7cheese, Demonically Angelic Neko88, GammaTron, Dragolord09
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Vampiress19, I'veComeToTakeYourCheese,Vampire Scooby, Simply Manialoll, Coca-Cola is better than Pepsi, Neko7cheese, Demonically Angelic Neko88, GammaTron, Dragolor09
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Simply Manialoll, Coca-Cola is better than Pepsi, Neko7cheese, Demonically Angelic Neko88, GammaTron, Dragolord09
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me colored"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!
BESTFRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. heres a tissue"
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you
BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life
FREINDS: Will leave you behind if thats what everyone else is doing
BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door
BESTFRIENDS: Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME"
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell
BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell
FRIENDS: Are through high school/college (drinking buddies)
BESTFRIENDS: Are for life
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think you've had enough
BESTFRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl/Boy drink the rest of that. You know we don't waste."
FRIENDS: Will crack under interrogation.
BESTFRIENDS: Will not only keep their mouths shut, but will help you hide the body.
FRIENDS: Will look at you like you're crazy when you tell them you're an alien from outerspace.
BESTFRIENDS: Will break you out of the loony bin and drive you to New Mexico to meet up with the mothership.
FRIENDS: Will know all your passwords.
BESTFRIENDS: MADE all your passwords.
FRIENDS: Will ignore this
GOOD FRIENDS: Will repost this!
BESTFRIENDS: Will add to it!!
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word
in each line from the top.
Betcha you can't resist passing it on. LOL!
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.
If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.
You're just jealous because the voices in my head talks to me and not you. I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.
-If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
-I want child abuse to stop, and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile.
REST IN PIECE TOONAMI.
From beginning to the very end I was there. I will never forget.
Tom and the Absolution
1997-2008
A great Character and a funny host you will live on forever in this.
If you were there for Toonami from the beginning to end and now wish to honor it post this on your profile. Zaara the black, jmasta32, The Fifth Rider of Armageddon, DarkSamuraiX1999 foxgoddess07, thymistacles, Dragolord09
If you hate flamers then join the A.A.F. (Authors Against Flamers) together we can destroy the bastards that have plagued us for years! If you support out cause copy and paste this on your profile and add your name. The Fifth Rider of Armageddon, Dragolord09
If you worship manga, copy and paste this into your profile!!
If you hate stereotypes and think people should just shut up and stop POST THIS.
(Pick the stereotype that fits you...bolded are the ones that fit me)
I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm an ITALIAN GUY, so I must have a big DICK.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.
I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.
If you can hear the voices of the characters in your head, copy and paste this into your profile. (I hear different voices)
If you believe that Naruto and Hinata are the greatest pairing, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: SilentSinger948, NaruHinaFanboy, Arsao Tome, Dragolord09
If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile
Naruto for Rokudaime Hokage! If you also want Naruto to succeed Tsunade as the next Hokage, copy and paste this to your profile page, and add your name to the list! Help Naruto achieve his dream!: KinKitsune01, adngo714, MarlinMan, Alicia Kawa Uchiha, SilentSinger948,NaruHinaxNejiTen, NaruHinaFanboy Arsao Tome, Dragolord09
Girl: Slow down!
Guy: No this is fun!
Girl: No it's not! Please, it's way to scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you. Now slow down.
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gave him a big hug.
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself? It's bothering me.
In the newspaper, the next day, a motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure.
Two people were on it and only one survived.
The truth was, that half way down the road the guy realized his breaks were out and he didn't want the girl to know.
Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so she would live even if it meant he would die.
If you would do the same for the person you love, copy and paste this into your profile.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE:
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered for having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all: -I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you have a fanfiction account, copy and paste this into your profile.
I don't care if you're gay or straight,everybody needs love.
I don't care if you're diseased with an incurable sickness, everybody deserves a chance.
I don't care if you're ugly or pretty, everybody has flaws.
I don't care if you're black or white, everybody has the same capabilities.
I don't care if you're weird, everybody needs to change.
I don't care if you're rich or poor, everybody needs warmth.
I don't care if you're different, everybody is. Repost this if you agree with it
What you call pre-marital sex I call a pre-marrage honeymoon. If you believe this copy and paste on to your profile.
If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.
If you and/or your best friend are insane, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile!
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep had the same tune.
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile.
A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.
A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "there", "their", and "they're". If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
In case you need further proof that the human race is
doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label
instructions on consumer goods.
On a Myer hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of
Chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how??)
On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought??...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head
colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause
drowsiness.
(And I am taking this...because?)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use".
(damn, but i have a whole stash in
my basement that were just right to process)
On packet of Nobbys'
Peanuts:-
"Warning: contains nuts.
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for
this one:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly".
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
100 Rules of Anime
The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural
phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original
intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that
explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope
that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good
chuckle.
#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.
#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is
thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit
the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.
#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud
sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.
#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust
equals constant velocity.
#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a
mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects
known to human science.
#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero
whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and
lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.
#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of
two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out
affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human
existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. NOTE: Sometimes, Anime
heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg
and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.
#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die...
regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they
don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is
attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.
#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are
depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color
(usually red or white).
#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a
"Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3
different angles.
#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to
human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities,
sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".
#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.
#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly
referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because
of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the
Law of Inherent Combustibility.
#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any
object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.
First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also
known as the A-Ko phenomenon.
#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of
course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.
#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form
of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the
"Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot
decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a
drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and
several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle
of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will
hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds,
the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a
single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is
in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm,
which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving,
firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex
martial arts maneuvers.
Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he
will hit.
#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The
Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs
to get out more.)
#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood,
sometimes more, under high pressure.
#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at
least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not
unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to work
just as well...
#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and
large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped
and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a
song.
First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes
up against an entire army, the army always loses.
#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...
#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little
things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.
#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost
twice as annoying.
#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles,
either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy".
First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb
Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line
Effect)
Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American
translators are the American editors and censors.
Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome
"Good Guys".
#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly
proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.
#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
1) be female.
2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation.
3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.
#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of
destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and
used as a last resort.
#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate
a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.
#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of
martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing
aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is
attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.
#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are
hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.
#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is
considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or
explanation.
#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and
can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical
abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s
hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!
#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable
guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of
whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive
amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off
somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes,
then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the
Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably
wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to
extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer
invulnerable to any form of damage.
Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is
indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows,
or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice
attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of
Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 48)
#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing,
playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple"
things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so
on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.
#36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good
Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic
positions, which are:
1) The Hero/Leader
2) His Girlfriend
3) His Best Friend/Rival
4) A Hulking Brute
5) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
1) Extreme Coolness
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible Irritation
#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an
extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from
which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious
dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".
First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a
heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.
#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is
because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released
at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in
the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are
actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is
because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the
back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat
gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.
#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely
proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the
less you get and vice-versa.
First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real
world...
#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get
erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current
theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see
Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush
along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.
#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal
swords, if not sharper.
#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it
done in half the time and twice the angst.
#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.
#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a
martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).
#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the
transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to
interrupt it.
#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy
mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.
#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some
unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or
spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind
the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.
#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or
burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later,
your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame,
wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s)
to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and
letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in
part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.
#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will
get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform
magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as
the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will
help him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff Sniff
#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are
under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY
small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter).
Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.
#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws
44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and
the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack
are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave
Phenomenon")
52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters
(usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or
perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons
for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don’t give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:
1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.
#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.
#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,
wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid,
etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying
pan or something.
#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and
withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power
weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.
#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons
will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late.
First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome
which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use
it against the "Good Guy".
Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military
device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just
"fooled" by the "Good Guy".
d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.
#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of
the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.
#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,
resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me
look.
A negative charge will result in the
hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.
#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition
available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate
when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7
for speaker pods)
#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s
attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them.
(Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing
girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot
couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)
#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an
awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract,
except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single
drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.
#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years
is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.
#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the
few... of even the one.
#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be
funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall
to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.
(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)
#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the
male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually
helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can
sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the
guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49)
#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater
than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse
coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least
500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".
Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to
normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also
inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all
actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot
from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb.
of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a
mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing
this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.
#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the
Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be
increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does
not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads
to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by
an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.
#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the
control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through
means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which
clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant
Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at
will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and
lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or
disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not
always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where
the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of
Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.
#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any
situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding
increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually
come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in
Ambient Dramatic Tension.
#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a
survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly
and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often
referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain
activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in
slow motion.
#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male
character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at
another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an
interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of
Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and
65)
#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head
shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the
wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages
will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.
#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to
a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking
sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the
edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly
past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.
#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When
faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime
characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and
exposition),
Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a
position to ravish beautiful girls, or
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.
#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can
summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.
#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a
secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around
him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?
#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick
strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the
elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)
#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST
capable of dealing with it.
#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial
arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with
your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just
doesn’t work in real life...
#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is
male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a
shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain
is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole
(horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.
#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if
you’re normally a klutz.
#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a
Hentai anime is to start having sex.
#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become
possible.
First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the
hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he
is wrong and will invariably be toastied.
#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed
by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could
accomplish... but his old teacher did!
#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire
straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see
Laws #67, 69, and 84)
#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in
beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won
against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they
tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack.
Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toastied.
#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.
#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have
the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water,
rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling
themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.
#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large
penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the
size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...
#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following
characteristics:
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.
#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and
up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive
vagina.
#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance
while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them
introducing themselves.
#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at
least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a
Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the
male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following
him around is there because:
1) It’s his girlfriend’s.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by
a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal,
real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal
that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It’s her boyfriend’s.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.
#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability
that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like
bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though
they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the
Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.
#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any
human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime
girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is,
but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the
skin of the tentacle...
Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never
experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also
known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).
Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human
relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.
#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,
sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage
begins to occur.
First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it
from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko
Thing")
#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that
enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being
immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)
#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or
spaceborne, have the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
6) Homophobicness
7) Emotionless (Idiots.)
#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest
appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said
character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love.
No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At
least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...
#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.
You're a 90's kid if:
You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Carebears
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.