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noodle-monster
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Joined Feb '07

Why of why does every Riddick/harry potter crossover i come across have to be slash? what possible reason could writers have to make a macho killer like riddick into a boy-crazy lover. frankly it's rather disturbing and disgusting. and before people who read this bombard me with all sorts of hate mail about being a homophobe, i actually do have a couple friends that are homosexual. i can very well tolerate them kissing their partners, and i'm all for them being allowed to marry, etc etc, but just as i wouldn't want to see my parents getting it on, i don't wanna see them getting it on either. so yeah, i find it disturbing. which is why i don't wanna read how harry potter becomes riddick's little kitten.


i honestly can't understand how anybody can like naruto anymore. the whole thing pretty much went downhill the moment naruto got kage bunshin. i mean doesn't anybody realize that naruto gets power handed to him on a plate and every advantage is given to him? don't believe me? let's examine it shall we.

base naruto, while a complete idiot, is given tremendous amounts of chakra, stamina, and even strength, and in some extreme situations a nigh impenetrable chakra shield. i imagine that he even gets a certain amount of heightened senses/reflexes...though i'm not completely sure about that. he can also heal from just about anything. even malnutrition is not a problem apparently.

kage bunshin: apparently naruto's brain is so advanced he can absorb the collective stimuli and memories of dozens, sometimes hundreds of inputs, each equivalent of a whole person, at once when the clones are dispelled. now if naruto existed in the DC or Marvel comic-verses i'd buy it, but he exists in the naruto-verse. assuming his brain could even begin to process such things, he should be a vegetable.

i think we can all pretty much agree, naruto hardly ever trains. sure we see him train really really hard to achieve something, like tree climbing or the rasengan (which by the way he shouldn't haven been able to produce period. it's a chakra manipulation technique not an actual jutsu, and every where you look in the manga and anime it's agreed that naruto has very little control.) anyway, back to training. naruto doesn't appear to train his body, or even train with his jutsu's etc to keep them up. we see others training to keep there edge but not naruto. once he achieves something it apparently stays that good forever.

sage mode. god how i hate that. it's just such a complete and utter deus ex machina. uch like goku's spirit bomb. it just utterly undermines everything in my opinion.

rasenshruiken. again, it shouldn't be possible according to what i've observed in the naruto-verse. the rasengan only works because the user is close-by continuously pumping chakra into it and it doesn't look like a closed energy system like most other jutsus appear to be. Ie: a certain amount of energy put into the jutsu, tied off and then left to go it's course...though there are some that require constant input from the user...kagemane, that continuous fire breath thing, etc...but those all have some form of connection to the user while the r-shruiken doesn't.

finally we've got the seal of the kyuubi. apparently minato managed to fool the god of death himself, and leave part of himself behind in the seal so that he could act as a fail safe. oh come on already. the deal was for the seal the death god gets the soul, not nearly all of it, but all.

one of the things i really wanna know is how minato even got the seal. did he create it? if so he must have done so in a very short amount of time during which i can hardly believe he could implement the fail-safes.

i've noticed a very disturbing trend off late, where writers are turning male characters into females. very disturbing that. i like my male heroes to please stay male, thank you very much.

harry's treatment at the dursleys. fanfic writers really don't have that much of a clue about that do they. sure harry may get the occasional beating or be treated as a servant, perhaps on occasion even starved, but overall that isn't so unique or nearly as horrible as it could be, sure it's pretty horrible, but not when it could be soo much worse.
looking just at developed countries there are are thousands of children that go through that, many more go though so much worse its sickening. and there the writers are making harry's life out to be soooo unspeakable. (this is based off of the dursley's being normal human beings and not sick torturing monsters like some stories portray them to be, in those cases harry really does deserve his pity spiel) i've decided i won't even go into how harry's life compares to the children in developing nations, or war-torn ones.


what the fuck is up with naruto and bloodline stories? in almost all the stories where nartuo gets a bloodline it usually is something that either incorporates all the bloodlines of the other clans into his own or his bloodline is so super badass that he's pretty much god at 10 years old. what the hell??


i find it extremely weird that only about 10 percent of all the hp fanfic authors ever have harry questioning the prophesy. is it real? is there such a thing as fate? etc. none of that is ever explored in these fan fics. instead, dumbledore or whoever tells harry of the prophesy and boom he believes it, doesn't even rail against it, just complains "woe is me" and then starts planning.

another thing i've found pretty weird is the fact that people have such notable characters as molly and arthur weasley, diggle, and etc in the order, yet none of them are properly trained to fight, they're all civilians...and i mean that in the way that buffy's mum is a civilian when compared to her friends. dunno if that came out right, but what i meant was that neither dumbledore or his group have the training, skills, etc to fight a terrorist cell like voldy's. (sure they survived the first war and some did grindlewald, but that really doesn't mean jack.) what business does a housewife have in the field...i'll confess she may be a mean cook, but that doesn't qualify to be let in on confidential info.


flame:

i've come to the sad conclusion that most hp fic authors have absolutely no concept of money. sure harry can be rich but then they make him super uber duper rich.

i mean like 50 times bill gates rich. there's a few problems with that.

1) if the potters were so damm rich, why the fuck did they live in a "shabby" little house in godric's hollow, when they could live in the really uber protected manor or castle?
2) the economy would be in complete shambles if so much of the money was out of circulation, allocated to just sit in a gringotts vault. (does gotts even give interest?--i didn't think it did but anyway)
3) if he's so rich, why the hell does he never spend more, sure in all the stories he'll go on an initial buying spree, but then he won't for years to come. all that: i don't want the money my family left me..blah blah..woo woo.

anyway, it's just really really implausible for the potters to have interest in all these stores and businesses, it just sounds sooo stupid and is clearly just there because the author happens to be a complete moron, without any creativity whatsoever.


i thought 'd rant some more:

what's up with the fact that hermione granger is always in the order of the phoenix even when harry hasn't been raised by anybody connected with it/in GB/etc, and if she has absolutely no connection to harry potter. some might argue that there is the connection with ron or her smarts, but if harry and ron hadn't met then it is highly unlikely that ron and hermione would have ever even become friends, not to mention her age and inexperience.


then there's this whole crap about harry and for that matter naruto constantly being referred to as pup/cub and kit...is everybody retarded? wouldn't it freakin bother you to be referred to like that? it just sounds incredibly stupid or nauseatingly infantile.


addendum april/08:

why do people, native speakers, find the english language or writing in general so hard? some of the stupidest things i've come across on ffnet:

just then -- what the fuck is that

i've got a feeling -- only portrays the authors absolute lack of originality, style, or brains in general (only used by people who can't use words to come up with something better)

there's distinct differences between:

wondering - wandering

then - than

there - they're - their

here - hear

quiet - quite

and the list goes on (three fourths of ffnet seems to have failed elementary and middle school english)

anyway, just some things that really piss me off about people's writing


hm, i wonder sometimes, how can harry potter love sirius so much...in all these stories he's so distraught, and quite frankly it's pathetic. in total he's maybe spent an aggregate of a month's time with his godfather...not nearly enough time in my opinion to have formed such a familial bond...i mean come on, harry was abused and then suddenly there's sirus in his life, which while well and good, abused children don't from bonds like that in such a small amount of time...where's the freakin logic in it.

then there's all this stuff about harry remembering things when he was one year old or less, people while the brain does keep track of all that, it is highly unlikely that a baby would prioritize something like that, making it almost impossible to actively recall anything in that time frame.

lastly, there's this whole padfoot, moony, etc nickname thing going around. i realize it's all well and good during the early teen years but adults simply don't go around calling each other things like that, and especially wouldn't feel comfortable being called that by teenagers or peers. if your dad's best friend asked you to call him padfoot, wouldn't you be weirded out?


aprilish/08:

k, i've been reading a new genre for me, dark harry fics...and wow, my IQ literally went down a few notches after reading some of them. i mean, honestly, an evil eleven year old, demon wands, etc. what the hell! eleven year-olds do not understand the concept of evil ppl. yes, they may be cruel, etc, but they haven't yet achieved the mental capacity to understand what they're doing. sure, he wants to hurt the dursleys but evil aka dark as in world domination are out of their age range.

then there's those fics where harry is a grey wiz. those are usually just another load of shit. ppl and creatures from all races and species flocking to him, giving up certain aspects of their characters to live happily amongst themselves, elders that have ruled with an iron fist for years suddenly start listening to a teen...what kinda pot are y'all smoking.


early 1/08:

well, this is kinda an addendum to my previous post

what the hell are ppl thinking about when they write hp adoption fics. honestly, for 10 years hp lives happily with a different family and then boom he gets told about his dead biological parents and it's like his adoptive parents become something other than parents. ppl don't react that way, no matter how imaginary they are.
as i said, just a little addendum.


late 12/07:

lately, i've been reading some of the hp stories with harry as main char (read draco main char stories before)...and wow, are a lot of them a load of crap.
honestly, there's those where hp is raised by others with love, or those where he grows up hard...then in waltzes either his miraculously still alive parents or his godfather sirious black, and he just pretty much drops all things and goes running to them, or his previous relations all of a sudden get put on the back burner. No, person does that. i'd imagine he'd either resent them for not being there, tell them to fuck off; maybe let them in but only as something akin to distant cousins or something. but come on. and what's with the constant references to pranks etc in those stories. i mean kids pranking is one thing, but an adult doing it is just weird, it's no way to be a role model. then they apparently do it all the time...i mean come on, as fun as it might be, the ppl around them would eventual either ostracize them or they'd get punished. also, what's with sirious being one of the guys, it just doesn't work that way in a younger male-older male friendship relationship.

then of course there's some of the stories where he gets together with ginny or hermione, where they're made out to be some form of goddess through a miraculous pubescent transformation over the summer. again, come on, neither is good looking, at best they're somewhat pretty but none can beat fleur or other given beautiful girls, like daphne, or possibly cho. (i'm talking books here, none of the girls are that pretty in the movies)

ah well


Review of HPDH:

Well, so HP DH is out and, boy, was i disappointed. In general it was just a very weak wrap-up of loose threads. Some main points of contention:
Introduction of the DH artifacts as the weapons to destroy Voldie..what the hell happened to Dumbledor's constant preaching of love as the ultimate power? JKR just totally dropped that. Then Snape's death; if a Weasley could be bitten by Nagini and survive for an extended period of time, why did Snape, a Potions Master (with presumably certain antidotes on him at all times, not to mention a probable poison resistance -- it would just make sense that he had that)..anyway Snape just bites the dust in a couple of mins...what the hell?
Then there's the ending, it was probably one of the most uninspired endings i've had the bad luck of reading, ever. (don't even get me started on the names for the children...totally unimaginative, not to mention the couples..sigh)


pre 2007:

well, some day i might post some of my stuff here..right now it's still too rough around the edges and i'm not sure i like ffnet's administration and policies.

otherwise, i love reading and i like writing. i fancy myself quite proficient with the English language (not too mention a couple others). I pride myself quite a bit on my library of books..some one or two thousand by now (honest..my parents almost had a heart attack when i started coming home with tons of books years back--poor wallet).

anyway, i review stories on ffnet occasionally and some of my reviews can be quite harsh, i realize...and i'm sorry if i come across as an ass, usually i've just had a bad day and my filter and common sense/courtesy aren't where they should be and i'm letting off steam at writers who may not deserve it. sorry.

cheers for now

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