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The Carnivorous Muffin PM
My Stories 236
484 Blue Moon » In some other universe, Edward was a little more insistent about that "you can just sleep with Jacob" plan that he proposed to Bella inside a tent. Replace Jacob with Carlisle, insert Carlisle's need to fix the dumpster fire that is his son's relationship, and add in a dash of upset Bella and terrible things ensue.
Twilight, M, English, Humor & Romance, chapters: 17, words: 61k+, favs: 442, follows: 538, updated: 6/26 published: 7/31/2020, [Bella, Carlisle] Aro, Edward
240Painting Red Madonnas » A Bella who has never had a run in with vampires, misses registration while studying abroad and signs up for an art course in the nearby city of Volterra. Only, it's not an introductory course, she's somehow the only student, and she has zero talent. Aro's centuries old plan to get Marcus a hobby and a life finally comes to fruition in the strangest of ways.
Twilight, T, English, Humor & Friendship, chapters: 8, words: 29k+, favs: 298, follows: 363, updated: 6/24 published: 2/23, Bella, Marcus
2k+When Harry Met Tom » When the battle in the department of mysteries heads south, Harry finds herself flung backwards in time to 1942, where Tom Riddle is a prefect in his fifth year. Armed with this knowledge, but little else, Harry desperately tries to find a way home and for once in her life not screw it up. Tom, for his own part, wonders when Harry Evans will head back to the mothership. fem!Harry
Harry Potter, T, English, Romance & Humor, chapters: 28, words: 168k+, favs: 3k+, follows: 3k+, updated: 6/22 published: 1/8/2018, [Harry P., Tom R. Jr.]
5k+Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus » As the unwitting personification of Death, reality exists to Lily through the veil of a backstage curtain, a transient stage show performed by actors who take their roles only too seriously. But as the Girl-Who-Lived, Lily's role to play is the most important of all, and come hell or high water play it she will, regardless of how awful Wizard Lenin seems to think she is at her job.
Harry Potter, T, English, Humor & Fantasy, chapters: 77, words: 459k+, favs: 6k+, follows: 6k+, updated: 5/17 published: 12/8/2013, [Harry P., Tom R. Jr.]
2k+October » It is not paradox to rewrite history, in the breath of a single moment a universe blooms into existence as another path fades from view, Tom Riddle meets an aberration on the train to Hogwarts and the rest is in flux. AU, time travel, Death!Harry, Tom/Lily and Tom/Harry, not threesome
Harry Potter, T, English, Drama & Friendship, chapters: 57, words: 217k+, favs: 3k+, follows: 4k+, updated: 5/4 published: 4/29/2014, [Harry P., Tom R. Jr., Lily Evans P.]
1k+ Finishing the Hat » Feeling out of place in Konoha, Lee begins an exploration department in Konoha, taking her apprentice Obito with her on an expedition to another dimension a long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away. There, she confronts the strange shinobi culture there and their disdain for attachment. side fic to "Minato Namikaze and the Destroyer of Worlds"
Star Wars & Naruto, M, English, Sci-Fi & Adventure, chapters: 33, words: 285k+, favs: 1k+, follows: 1k+, updated: 3/25 published: 1/14/2017, Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan K., Qui-Gon J., Obito U.
98Morilden » A little mermaid, dreaming of a world above the surface which reflects the hope she has in mankind, once meets a little prince dreaming of kingship, honor, and glory. However, like the sun glimmering on the surface of the sea, sometimes dreams, while beautiful, cannot be held in one's hands. Spin off of "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus" Little Mermaid style.
Harry Potter, T, English, Tragedy & Romance, chapters: 8, words: 28k+, favs: 163, follows: 194, updated: 3/4 published: 2/4/2018, Harry P., Lily Evans P., Tom R. Jr., OC
39Carlisle and Bella's Bogus Journey » Unfortunately for Bella, the wolves do not show up in time to save her from Laurent. Fortunately for Bella, it seems like the universe refuses to let her die. She is transported back to an English forest, 1664, and a suicidal newborn Carlisle is talking Shakespearean gibberish while trying desperately not to eat her. Cowritten by Vinelle and The Carnivorous Muffin.
Twilight, T, English, Humor & Friendship, chapters: 2, words: 7k+, favs: 115, follows: 163, updated: 1/19 published: 1/18, Bella, Carlisle
68 There's Got to be a Morning After » In which, in a moment of blind panic, Lily remembers that she got drunk and had sex with somebody but the question is if it was Draco Malfoy or someone more appealing. Sequel to "The Night Before the Morning After"
Harry Potter, M, English, Humor & Romance, chapters: 4, words: 13k+, favs: 153, follows: 101, updated: 1/13 published: 9/16/2018, [Harry P., Tom R. Jr.]
3k+ Minato Namikaze and the Destroyer of Worlds » On October 10th when the Kyuubi no Kitsune ravages Konoha, Namikaze Minato unwittingly makes a bargain with Death. Years earlier, his life is rewritten when the overpowered, bizarre, and possibly alien Eleanor Lily Potter arrives at Konoha's orphanage and quickly becomes his best friend.
Harry Potter & Naruto, T, English, Adventure & Friendship, chapters: 51, words: 348k+, favs: 5k+, follows: 5k+, updated: 10/23/2020 published: 12/13/2015, [Harry P., Minato N.]
825 Wearing the Faces of Men » When Wizard Lenin and Lily mysteriously find themselves in the Pokémon universe in Lily's second year, the pair are forced into becoming Pokémon trainers, and they, along with Ash Ketchum, travel on their journey to become Pokémon masters even as they search for a means to get home. Side fic of "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus"
Pokémon & Harry Potter, T, English, Adventure & Friendship, chapters: 22, words: 171k+, favs: 807, follows: 873, updated: 9/2/2020 published: 12/9/2017, Ash K./Satoshi, Pikachu, Harry P., Tom R. Jr.
32Tequila Sunrise » In the fall of 1992, Ginny Weasley stepped on the train to Hogwarts with a brand new diary in hand eager to meet her personal hero, Ellie Potter. Only, nothing quite works out the way she thought it would. Side fic to "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus"
Harry Potter, T, English, Angst & Friendship, chapters: 4, words: 20k+, favs: 76, follows: 101, updated: 5/14/2020 published: 12/7/2019, [Ginny W., Tom R. Jr., Harry P.]
4 Palindrome » The events of Captain Marvel turn out differently and Carol finds herself in the unenviable position of deciding what to do with Yon-Rogg. Despite both of their intentions, history repeats itself.
Captain Marvel, T, English, Romance & Angst, chapters: 5, words: 18k+, favs: 15, follows: 9, 3/20/2020, [C. Danvers/Vers, Yon-Rogg]
438 Eru Lee and the Sundance Kid » Instead of going to the Star Wars universe, the unwitting Eru Lee and Uchiha Obito stumble into a strange almost medieval world filled with immortal and terrifying hunter nin, clever half-sized shinobi with the all consuming goal of getting lucky, and the worst kage ever. Side fic of "Minato Namikaze and the Destroyer of Worlds", sister fic of "Finishing the Hat".
Lord of the Rings & Naruto, T, English, Friendship & Humor, chapters: 22, words: 88k+, favs: 557, follows: 596, updated: 11/25/2019 published: 3/21/2018, [Sauron, Obito U., OC] Frodo B.
18 The Outlander » Marooned on a strange, desert, world once inhabited by the progenitors of mankind, the alien priest Light and Shadow of the Distant Sun must make use of the ill-fated Prometheus and its crew while searching for the answers that Lily believes he should seek. Sequel to "Light and Shadow of the Distant Sun"
Harry Potter & Prometheus, 2012, M, English, Sci-Fi & Spiritual, chapters: 6, words: 15k+, favs: 86, follows: 82, updated: 11/17/2019 published: 5/7/2019, [Harry P., OC] E. Shaw, David
19 All the Time in the World In a strange turn of events, Obito is rescued from Madara's cave by a Time Lord who was never meant to survive the war. Seeking to understand the destruction of her people and the Time Lord that caused it, she takes Obito on as a human companion, regardless of the destruction it might cause. "Finishing the Hat" spin-off.
Doctor Who & Naruto, T, English, Friendship & Sci-Fi, words: 3k+, favs: 82, follows: 96, 9/29/2019, [Obito U., OC] 10th Doctor, Donna N.
14 The Tragic Tale of Owo Rabbitson Lily, after a mysterious run in during the middle of the night, is forced to introduce yet another Albanian refugee at breakfast. Side fic to "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus"
Harry Potter, T, English, Humor & Friendship, words: 1k+, favs: 36, follows: 17, 8/28/2019, Harry P., Tom R. Jr.
12 The List Behind the scenes of "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus", Lily and Wizard Lenin find a list written by The Carnivorous Muffin. Side fic of "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus"
Harry Potter, T, English, Friendship & Humor, words: 1k+, favs: 22, follows: 14, 8/4/2019, Harry P., Severus S., Albus D., Tom R. Jr.
19 The Melancholy of Tom Riddle Tom Riddle, on entering Hogwarts, meets a strange overpowered girl who claims this isn't the first world that's ever existed while he contends with the truth that he is not at the heart of the universe. "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus" and "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya" fusion
Harry Potter & Haruhi Suzumiya series, T, English, Friendship & Angst, words: 5k+, favs: 65, follows: 37, 7/27/2019, Harry P., Tom R. Jr.
29 We're All Tom Riddle Here Tom Riddle, after the events of "The Unwinding Golden Thread", finds himself in an empty barren world which consists only of Tom Riddles. Crossover of "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus", "The Unwinding Golden Thread", "October", "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" and others
Harry Potter, T, English, Angst & Family, words: 3k+, favs: 75, follows: 31, 6/23/2019, [Harry P., Tom R. Jr.]
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