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Proffesor Ass Spiders PM
Joined Apr '20

Sup fellas, its ya boy, Proffesor Ass Spiders. I also go under the pseudonym 'Cancer Central', which is my youtube channel, check it out if you like garbage content. I mostly go under the name "Overhead the Albatross" in most other online things. So if you see someone online with an albatross fursona (against a light blue background) under the name of "Overhead the Albatross" or anything very similar to that, then its almost certainly me. I'm on Archive of Our Own, Discord, Reddit, Spotify, Steam and DeviantArt under that name.

Channel link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCX30kSo5JLXkS_FZ5svZsXQ

You can also call me Proffesor, Ass Spiders, or simply Spiders. Your choice.


Banana Phone is better than Bohemian Rhapsody

Ao3 account: https:///users/Overhead_the_Albatross

Fanfiction discord server, has me, Fonjavters, Sledge Macaw, AgentGunderson1, slyxshs, Ripso, FilmedIt, DIO Kujo, and BestBookIsYou on it: https:///UqH98x

Be warned, you have to type it manually

My discord name plus code is: Overhead the Albatross#8523

Either friend me, or DM me on discord. I'll send you the link to the server. Speaking of PMs, feel free to PM me about any question, suggestion or some other thing. I won't bite, I promise... I'll just punch instead...

My forum: https://www.fanfiction.net/forum/Ramblings-of-an-Aussie-Idiot/229254/

My name is is Blake, I am an 15 year old Homo Sapien from the shithole known as Australia. I have autism and ADHD, and I'm also an atheist. However I frankly don't care if you're religious, unless you use it to justify bigotry and ignorance. Anyways, I like rivers, rollercoasters, and birds way too much. I like the film Rio, but not so much its sequel. I like the movie due to the good animation, beautiful scenery/backgrounds, likeable characters, and some nice humour. (And because it has birds) I also like it because it raised awareness for the critically endangered Spix's Macaw, which I actually first read about in a book titled 'Record Breakers: The Living World', in a page where it lists some critically endangered animals, including the Spix's Macaw. I will write Rio fanfictions, and will try to have proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Because I feel as though many fanfictions have poor grammar, and/or bad spelling. I don't know if I'll write any fanfictions on non-Rio IP's. Anyways here's some lists or something:



-Very Sad Rio Story
-Sandbox Advert
-Very Sad Rio Story, but its Google Translated
-Ice Age Baby
-Epic Rio Horror Story

The Dark Stories:

-Too Ugly To Be Loved
-Wish You Were Here
-A Human In The Spix's Tribe
-Little Blue Orphan
-The Hurting
-Hereditary Guilt

The Harpy Files:

-Harpy Lives Matter
-To Be A Harpy


-A Human In The Spix's Tribe

Misc. Humour stories:

-Generic Rio Story
-Unfunny ScenaRios
-Rio 3 lol

Mostly Serious One Shots:

-A Blu Christmas
-Harpy Lives Matter
-Father's Day
-The Hurting


-The Hurting/Two Blues (although it'll be more likely a remake of said story)
-A Human In The Spix's Tribe/Bluey

Favourite Movies:

1. Airplane!

2. Army of Darkness

3. The Thing (1982)

4. The Simpsons Movie

5. Terminator II Judgement Day

6. 1917

7. Monty Python and The Holy Grail

8. Hot Fuzz

9. Rio

10. Blazing Saddles

Movies I'd like to see or re-watch due to not remembering them, in no order:

A Clockwork Orange

Die Hard

The Terminator

The Emperor's New Groove

Shrek 2

Planet Of The Apes

Enemies At The Gates

Full Metal Jacket

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly




Donnie Darko


Favourite TV Shows: (2, 3, 4, and 5 aren't ranked) (I know some are Netflix Originals)

1. Archer

Tuca and Bertie

The Simpsons (old)

Batman: The Animated Series

SpongeBob SquarePants (old)

Favourite Songs:

1. 'You Get What You Give', by New Radicals

2. 'Free Bird', by Lynyrd Skynyrd (has godly guitar solo, listen to 10 minute version)

3. 'Starless', by King Crimson

4. 'Megalomania', by Black Sabbath

5. 'Mr. Blue Sky', by Electric Light Orchestra

6. 'The Reflex', by Duran Duran

7. 'Over and Over', by Hot Chip

8. 'Shout', by Tears For Fears

9. 'Black Hole Sun', by Soundgarden

10. 'Blue Monday', by New Order

Other epic songs:

'Paranoid Android', by Radiohead

'Lost In Hollywood', by System Of A Down

'Colony Of Birchmen',by Mastodon

'Everybody Wants To Rule The World', by Tears For Fears

'Rio', by Duran Duran

'Comfortably Numb', by Pink Floyd (Listen to 9:30 version, you won't regret it!)

'Hungry Like The Wolf', by Duran Duran

'Hotel California', by Eagles

'Through The Fire And The Flames', by Dragonforce

'Day In The Life', by The Beatles

'Tainted Love', by Soft Cell

'Together In Electric Dreams', by Phillip Oakey

'Bitter Sweet Symphony', by The Verge

'Grace Kelly', by MIKA

'Epitaph', by King Crimson

'21st Century Schizoid Man', by King Crimson

'Red', by King Crimson

'Court Of The Crimson King', by King Crimson

'Break My Stride', by Matthew Wilder

'Easy', by Various artists

'Live It Up', by Mental As Anything

'I'm Still Standing', by Elton John (If I had wheelchair-bound friend, I would send the song to them whenever I could.)

'Everybody', by Backstreet Boys (Backstreet's Back)

'Woman', by Wolfmother

'Bat Country', by Avenged Sevenfold

'Banana Phone', by Raffi

'Daydreaming In Blue', by I, Monster

'Dancing In The Moonlight', by Toploader

'Losing My Religion', by REM (check out 'Corning My Religion', by Sam O'Nella Vlog)

'Life In A Northern Town', by Dream Academy

'B.Y.O.B', by System Of A Down

'Aerials', by System Of A Down

'Dreaming', by System Of A Down

'I-E-A-I-A-I-O', by System Of A Down

'Ghost Of Perdition', by Opeth

'[Love Is A] Landmine', by I Know Leopard

'Psycho', by System Of A Down

'Tentative', by System Of A Down

'Chop Suey!', by System Of A Down

'Ready To Go', by Republica

'Purple Rain', by Prince

'Dani California', by Red Hot Chili Peppers

'Catch The Rainbow', by Rainbow

'Toxicity', by System Of A Down

'Hypnotize', by System Of A Down

'Stars', by Hum

'Radio/Video', by System Of A Down

'Wonderwall', by Oasis

'Hysteria', by Def Leppard

'I Don't Feel Like Dancing', by Scissor Sister

'Don't Speak', by No Doubt

'Make Me Lose Control', by Eric Carmen

Some musical artists I like:

Duran Duran

King Crimson

Guns n Roses


Michael Jackson (his music)

System Of A Down (tied for number one)


Black Sabbath (tied for number one)

Budgie (underrated Welsh heavy metal band)

Pink Floyd

Rainbow (Ronnie James Dio is a phenomenal singer, and Ritchie Blackmore is a superb guitarist)

Favourite Video Game Soundtracks: (In no order, doesn't have to be an original soundtrack)

SimCity 4

Halo, especially Halo Reach


Rollercoaster Tycoon 3

Saints Row 2 (quite a few of my favourite songs I was introduced to by this game)


Favourite Youtubers, in no particular order:

Amazing Athiest



Diesel Patches


LEMMINO (best one, probably)

iSorrowproductions/ISP (both channels)

Simian Jimmy


Schaffrillas Productions



2, The Ranting Gryphon

Sam O'Nella Academy/Sam O'Nella Vlog


Mista GG



I Hate Everything







Favourite Authors:

1. Me

Epic Quotes:

''Quoting a famous smart person does not make you smart, it just makes you an idiot who has nothing interesting to say.''


''If at first you don't succeed, try again, and again. Keep trying. But if you find that after trying a hundred times you have yet to succeed, perhaps you should give up''


''Don't give up''

-every motivational quote in a nutshell

''Remember kids; Don't smoke, do heroin instead!''


''Well I'm a REAL light sleeper, Childs. And if anyone tries to wake me...Un-Uh''

-Macready, The Thing

''Excuse me, I happened to be passing, and I thought you might like some coffee.'' ''Oh that's very nice of you. Thank you. Won't you sit down?'' ''Thank you. Cream?'' ''No thanks. I take it black, like my men.''


''I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.''


''Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This...is my BOOMSTICK!''

-Ash Williams, Army of Darkness

''Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.''

-Ash Williams, Army of Darkness

''I have come here to chew bubblegum, and kick ass...And I'm all out of bubblegum.''

-John Nada, They Live!

''Yippee-ki-yay, motherf*cker!''

-John McClane, Die Hard

''Holy Spirit? More like: Ugly, gay spirit! Hehehehe!''

-Vincent The Atheist (Mumkey Jones)

''You have to have Tommy Dorsey playing in the background of any bird f*cking, for it to even APPROACH psychotic!''

-2, The Ranting Gryphon, Music Industry Rant (0:43)

''I know more people who've been raped by a f*cking panda, than listen to the radio.''

-2, The Ranting Gryphon, Music Industry Rant

''You're stupid AND ugly!''

-Jimmy Hopkins, Bully

''Are you inbred, or just naturally dumb?''

-Jimmy Hopkins, Bully

''So here I am at probably the worst school in the country, whose alumni are nothing but arms dealers, serial killers, and corporate lawyers. Real scum. And that old creep thinks he can tame me? We shall see, my friend... I only give people what they have coming to them.''

-Jimmy Hopkins, Bully

''Let me f*cking tell you something. If you think this dumb bitch is holding up a fake Trump head, to make some sort of statement of: ''I am making everyone aware, of my imminent plan to murder and decapitate the president.'', then you've got the situational awareness of a f*cking sponge. The kind you use to wash dishes by the way, a sea sponge would still have you beat.''

-TJ Kirk 'The Amazing Atheist', Idiots React to Kathy Griffin's Publicity Stunt! (3:40)

''Gravity, you f*cking retard! Gravity! Have you ever heard of f*cking gravity? GRAVITY! GRAVITY!''

-Desertphile, 'Why are all the planets round?'


-CoolHardLogic, numerous videos

''Oh, and Jews are from space!''

-Martymer 81, 'Worst History Lesson Ever (WDPLaSS 10)'

''When a certain demographic can't understand something, the conclusions they reach are...off the chart. Welcome, to World Of Batshit!''

-CoolHardLogic, World of Batshit videos

''They were kind of stupid.''

-Martymer 81, 'Worst History Lesson Ever (WDPLaSS 10)


-Martymer 81, various videos (he turns around dramatically)

''Is god willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him god?''

-Epicurus (rElIgIoN dEsTrOyEd By GrEeK gUy WiTh FaCtS aNd LoGiC eCkSdEe)

''The United States is like a retarded 12 year old with a rocket launcher and a crack habit!''

-2, The Ranting Gryphon, 'AMERICA'

''I'm gonna kill people the legal way- by paying my taxes! All I have to do is enter my credit card information to this site, and my money will be shipped away to the government, and they'll use it to kill brown people in countries I can't pronounce. Isn't that wonderful?''

-TJ Kirk 'The Amazing Atheist', 'Breaking All Ten Commandments!'

''Science flies you to the moon, religion flies you into buildings.''

-Victor J. Stenger

''Christmas is right around the corner, and when I think Christmas, I think DYSTOPIAN MEGACITY.''

-The Kilian Experience, 'The Worst City Ever'

Epic joke: If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have three, and a lot of counterfeits.

Three genders: Male, female, and wheelbarrow. I sexually identify as a wheelbarrow. Accept me otherwise you are a barrowphobe, and you need to check your manually operated machinery privilege.

Shoutout to OrangeMacawWorld, for his continued support and critique of my work. Also shoutout to Fonjavters.

My name comes from Simcity 4. If you have 4 cities connected to your city, you would unlock the Tourist Trap building. The message's headline would be:
''Hungry 'city name' spiders weave tourist web'', I got the awesome idea to name my city 'ass' or 'my ass'. ''Hungry ass spiders weave tourist web''. Peak comedy.

Feel free to use any of my OC's, as long as you credit me. You can also use my ideas, as long as it is transformative and you credit me. I believe that remixing ideas and IP's and sampling characters and ideas is a good thing. All you must do is notify me, and I will allow you to publish any story using my ideas, as long as you credit me. For using my OC's you don't have to ask, I frankly don't care if you use my OC, it doesn't matter at all. Just credit me.

Additional Info:

Most of my stories will be serious, although some are jokes. My first story will likely be a joke. I will make a few one shots (Excluding jokes, 2 or 3 one shots before a multi-chapter story) My first story will probably be a re-telling of the first Rio, as it is a straightforward story, making it easier for me to write a story. Won't reveal it's name or plot.

I own a pet/companion Yellow sided green cheek conure named 'Sunny', she is about 2 and a half years old (as of 16/04/2020AD)

I have autism, ADHD, and Asperger's. I am very special lol.


I came out of my mum, did some stuff, then I created a Fanfiction account


Name: Blake

Sex: Virgin lol

Race: Not athletic

Sexuality: Pansexual, pans are so hot lol

Religion: Pastafarian

Talents: Can force myself to vomit, I wiggle my nostrils, can spend hours drawing detailed river maps, can chew your ear off about stuff you don't care about

Weaknesses: I can't tie my shoelaces, I'm very afraid of caterpillars, I can't draw non-river map drawings, I am not good at socialising normally (I am getting better. Blame my autism), I have a stutter (Not as bad as it used to be. I do struggle reading out loud, and I do pause in my sentences.)


I plan on learning another language. Particularly Norwegian and Swedish. This is because my dad has Scandinavian heritage, at least according to him. I haven't checked this, I do plan on using to check. I know its not the most reputable site, but its more reliable than just taking my dad's word for it. By the way, Vikings didn't have horned helmets, or at least, they didn't wear them in battle. Perhaps they wore them in celebrations.

I also plan on writing a story which I have had on my mind for over a year. I know Reborn is my best story so far, but this other Rio fanfiction will be far better. I won't reveal too much about it, apart from it being a re-imagining of Rio. Not in the traditional way, but by changing a few characters, adding some, changing names, new sets of rules (Parrots can perfectly understand each other, other birds have language barriers, but the more they hang out, the better they understand each other. Also, animals can't talk to each other, so the marmosets and Luiz will be removed. Only certain animals can understand humans, not all pets can.) and more. I'll write it after I finished Reborn, and 2-3 more multi-chapter stories, plus a few one shots.

I know my bio details certain things, but it is a joke. For example, I jokingly put Pastafarian as my religion, but in actuality I am an atheist. I also am not pansexual, I'm either straight or bisexual. I honestly don't know yet. However my name, talents, and weaknesses are true. Yes, I am afraid of caterpillars, more so than spiders. Don't ask why, because I have no idea why.

I love the concept and fanfictions of Rio more than I actually like the film. Which is why I will eventually make the Rio fanfiction I have been teasing about. I will reveal its name one day, but I won't give anymore info.

I believe in the multiverse theory. Which is why I will divide my fanfictions into the Rio universes, and the Bluey universes. I draw river maps, which means, according to the multiverse theory, will mean that EVERY one of them is an actual planet in multiple universes. Also the events of Rio and every physics abiding Rio fanfiction was an actual event in multiple universes, including every fanfiction I have written. Mind blown. This may also fill one with nihilism, but not me, I feel powerful knowing that my stories are their own universes.

I can't word this as well as I would like to, but I do have an odd guilty pleasure: Watching/reading things that make me uncomfortable. Particularly the very...Interesting Rio fanfics. You can find a wonderful collection of them in Rio2Lover100's favourites list. I don't know why I weirdly enjoy making myself suffer by watching/reading cringey things. Please help.

I LOVE dark comedy, sarcasm, and irony. All my stories will have an element of the three. I plan on watching some dark comedies, such as A Clockwork Orange, Happiness, Pulp Fiction (I have watched that, I just want to watch it again. I didn't actually like it that much) etc. I also love edgy jokes. ''Laughter is the best medicine, which is why I laugh at people with AIDS'', ''What's blue and yellow, and found at the bottom of a pool? A toddler with its floaties slashed.''

I am an official member and founder of the Banana Phone Fanclub. Wanna join? Visit , and don't click on the penis enlargement ads, and there are no hot singles in your area. Sorry.

I am interested in learning to play the electric guitar. I already have tried, but now after watching guitarists play, I have decided to perhaps teach myself how to play it. I won't be the next Jimi Hendrix or Eddie Van Halen, but I hope I'll be good. I don't own an electric guitar, and only practiced 2 days a week at school, and due to COVID-19, I haven't had much time to practice. Hope I can learn, but I won't learn sheet music. That shit is confusing, and I'd rather improvise.

I probably won't ever write a K or K story. I write either T or M rated stories because they offer more freedom to write things, also because I want to be safe.


DatBoiWhoReturned (aka Fonjavters)

Sledge Macaw


This list is incomplete, but it will (hopefully) be expanded. I don't know any of them personally, although Fonjavters is an online friend I annoy.

FUTURE FANFICTIONS: (MAY NOT BE IN ORDER OF WHEN I WILL CREATE THEM) (I will write most, if not all, of these one day)

1. A Satirical story on Rio. It will make fun of all the clichés in Rio stories. Hopefully it will turn out good. (Generic Rio Story) (In production)

2. A story where Blu and Jewel take a liking to each other almost instantly. (Love At First Sight)

3. An alt. version of the first Rio film, featuring Blu and Jewel, and two glaucous macaws. (Two Blues) (In production)

4. An alt. version of Reborn, but instead of Sophia/Alice being a girl, it would be a boy.

5. A retelling of Rio. The fanfiction I have teased for the majority of the time I've been here. (Alt. Rio) (Will include Jacques, but he's from Bolivia, instead of New Mexico) (Bluey)

6. Anthro version of Rio. A world where humans and birds live side by side. I will include themes of racism, or speciesm, between birds and humans. Will have a bird and a human fall in love, and be looked down upon by society. Allegory for interracial relationships. It'll be a bit different than human racism, as both sides are equal in technology, and actively oppressed one another. Both sides are beginning to de-segregate, but still hate each other. A major source of drama occurs when a human and a bird have a taboo relationship. I am actually pretty interested in this, and will definitely write this. Probably before the 'Alt. Rio' fanfiction. (Tyler being Blu, and Jewel being his love interest. Will include 2 of my Rio OC's)

7. What if Jewel was once a pet who was abused by her owners? She escapes her abusive owners, and lives in the wild for a year, until she is captured and sent to the aviary, where she meets Blu.

8. A Rio Noire story. A satire on the noire genre, inspired by season 8 of Archer. I'll watch some noire films before I write it, as apart from Archer season 8, I've only watched one noire film, sort of. I rented the film 'Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid', which is actually a parody, from Blockbuster a few years ago. I didn't even watch the entire movie. So until I get a better grasp on noire films, I won't write it. When I do, though, I hope I can make a great satire. Won't be absurd like 'Generic Rio Story', but will still feature some of my typical humour: Sarcasm, irony, vulgar and dark comedy. Season 8 of Archer is, probably my favourite season.

9. A version of Rio featuring Paradise Parrots. Three ideas for this: 1. Rio, but its in Australia. Blu is instead a paradise parrot in Moose Lake, Jewel is a wild paradise parrot in Queensland, taken to an aviary in North QLD. They meet, and are captured etc. 2. Takes place in Brazil, after Blu and Jewel meet and fall in love. A female paradise parrot who escaped from smugglers who took her from her home in Australia, she meets an American or Australian Paradise parrot. 3. Like Two Blues, except instead of Glaucous Macaws, there are Paradise Parrots. (R.I.P Paradise Parrots) (Bird(s) of Paradise)

10. A love story between a Scarlet and a Spix's Macaw. This could either be its own separate/independent story, or it could tie in with Bluey. May be one of the only stories that I will write that take place in the Amazon. I just don't like Rio 2 that much, although the visuals are nice. This story will either have a happy ending where they flee, or a tragic ending. Like Romeo and Juliet. (Forbidden Love)

11. An alt. version of Rio, similar to the Paradise Parrots one, except they're fictional cockatoos. The species is what I call the 'Blue Cockatoo', (creative I know). They are the size of a smaller Sulphur-Crested Cockatoo, (about 50cm long, about the length of a Spix's Macaw), and has Navy Blue feathers (the male does, but the female has feathers of the same shade as Jewel), they have white periopthalmic rings around their eyes and a white crest. Anyways they are still titled Blu and Jewel, and its the same as Rio, except its in Queensland. Aussie Rio lol. (True Blues) (In progress)

Maybes, plus terrible Rio parodies: (Probably won't do these, number 13 is by far the most likely. The parodies probably won't happen, because of possible site rules forbidding them, and other reasons.)

12. (maybe) Rio version of A Clockwork Orange. May not be allowed due to ultraviolence and taboo subjects.

13. (maybe) Anthro version of Rio. Except there's no humans. May have hints of nihilism, and will be divided in two: High School/college, and adult portion. The adult half will be a satirical crime drama/mafia story, where one of the two main characters is caught up in the mafia, and has to pay off debt and escape them. This will be made much later, and will hopefully be hilarious.

14. (maybe) Parody/Rio version of Oldboy. The awesome South Korean thriller. May not write it because, like A Clockwork Orange, it deals with some taboo subjects. Although not to the extent of A Clockwork Orange.

15. (maybe) Parody of The Thing, with Rio characters and OC's. Unlikely, because it will probably be terrible, and The Thing is quite graphic.

Favourite Rio Stories:

If someone were to ask me 'What's the best Rio story', I couldn't answer them. I don't have a number one Rio story, but I do have a collection of some of the best ones: (one per author)

'Come Back', by Corration

'Life After The Jump', by therobotchicken

'Rio one and a half' and 'Jupiter and company and their Adventure in the Amazon', by VPVPVP (can't decide between the two)

'Hopeless', by Drako1997

'Aqua Blue', by veronica.toon.7

'The Crossfade', by bievwer

'The Estrella', by Sorrelwing

Note that there are certainly better stories that I haven't read, probably even some major ones, or ones I have forgotten about. This list isn't complete, and is in no order. It is merely a collection of my personal favourites.


I don't know when I will write it, but I will write it sometime this year. I already have the cover for it, which is taken from an amazing looking teaser image for Rio, where Blu looks over Rio at sunrise, or sunset. I can't tell. I used MS Paint (very professional) to add 'Bluey' in Copperplate Bold. It looks decent. For the story, it will be like the first Rio movie, with some changes. I have a few scenes and lines planned out in my head.

Two Blues is a proto-Bluey, in the sense that Bluey may be similar in writing style (only that Bluey will be of higher quality, I hope), and humour. Bluey will be a Frankenstein's monster of different elements from other fanfictions, remixed with original ideas and tweaked a bit. I don't want to blow smoke up my ass, but I do hope it will be one of the better fanfictions.

Bluey will be a 4 part story, Bluey, Bluey 2, Bluey 3 and Bluey 4. All with different themes, and will detail Bluey's life. Bluey is the second major version of Blu in my weird multiverse Rio concept, the other one being Blu.

I actually got the idea for Bluey over a year ago, and it has evolved over time. I learned about Fanfiction.net at around January, and I have visited this site on a regular basis. I may actually post chapter one soon, but it will be an introductory chapter, and I will update it when I feel as though I have the skills to write the story to the standard I wish it to be. (High quality, emotional and funny)

I can't wait until I write it, and I'm sure you all are looking forward to reading it.


Rio Chatroom: I have abandoned it, as Reborn took away my will to write chapters for it. However the nail in the coffin was the fact that due to site rules, I had to get rid of the chatroom scenes. Which was bad, because they were the comic relief portions, and also provided exposition and additional dialogue and length. As Rio Chatroom was originally supposed to be just the chatroom sections, the other parts were quite boring. So the story was ruined by the removal of the chatroom sections. Plus the story isn't really that good. I might remake it one day with skype calls and better writing.

Reborn: Is on temporary hiatus due to lack of motivation and ideas. I will continue it at some point, but I don't know when. Currently, I feel like writing my other two stories more than I do for Reborn.

Two Blues: Beyond some writer's block for chapter 6, it is going good. I have to get past the club scene, and once I do, the story should get written rather quickly. (Hopefully)

Too Ugly To Be Loved: More chapters coming out soon. I do have a few ideas for the story, which I will refrain from revealing. Unless it goes through development hell, and I decide to reach out to others for help. My main problem is that I have the ideas and some scenes planned out, its just that I can't put pen to paper/I can't write the scenes in between. I blame Garry.

Thoughts on Rio 2, and Rio 3

RIO 2: Although visually stunning, I feel as though it is inferior to the first film for a number of reasons: 1. The first one is funnier and a bit better paced. (from what I remember) 2. The main reason being the fact it reduces two characters to being utterly pathetic: Nigel is rendered a laughing stock, and is not intimidating or fun to watch. Its honestly sad how pathetic he is, which is a far cry from the sadistic and terrifying beast he was in the first one (Not scary to the audience, but he is to the birds). He serves no purpose in the film other than to be the butt of jokes, and its just sad.
Blu is made into a pathetic character as well. In the first one he is also pathetic, but the second film makes him so in a different manner: He doesn't stand up for himself. In the film he seems to never stick up for himself, and when he does, he quickly backs down. The entire tribe treats him like shit, and he is removed from Linda, and Jewel appears to cheat on him, or at least seem to. So Blu is beaten down, cucked by Roberto, and placed in his version of hell. He is humiliated in front of both tribes, and the Spix's Macaw tribe abhor him for scoring a suicide goal. He sticks up for himself, only to be told he is selfish by his mate. He leaves, but comes crawling back. Saving the tribes from loggers, his father in law 'accepts' him. For some reason Blu instantly forgives them and acts as if nothing happened.

First of all, it is insulting how much Blu had to do to earn respect. Jewel is accepted instantly, because she is his daughter, and a wild bird. If Blu wasn't a pet, he would've been accepted instantly, but because he is a pet, he had to singlehandedly save BOTH tribes from smugglers, and only then does his father in law accept him. Second of all, Blu had been humiliated, de-masculinated, disrespected and dehumanised (or deavianised), and a sappy apology is all it took for Blu to not only forgive him, but decide to stay. If I were Blu I would tell him to go to hell.

Third of all, Blu is a pet, and will always be. He isn't wild, and will never be. He can be semi-domesticated, but not wild. It is in his very nature to be with humans, and you can't make someone into something they're not. They can pretend to, but they won't ever really be. Blu will be unhappy, and won't ever belong, unless he gives up what he is, and that is a pet. If he does, then he isn't Blu, just a husk pretending to be. Anyways, f*ck Eduardo, f*ck Roberto, and f*ck Blu for letting himself be Jewel's bitch. He is in a toxic relationship, and Jewel is a parasite. Blu gave up everything for her, and she did nothing. The film, for reducing Blu to a pathetic cuck, and for ruining their whole relationship, is therefore pretty toxic bruh. His love is a tainted one, and it isn't a good love. Blu may just be better off a free bird, or a pet. Either that, or they go to Rio and actually live like the way the first film had them live (wild, visiting Linda every now and then, or 'Semi-domesticated')

Thoughts on Rio 3: Hopefully it repairs the relationship between Blu and Jewel, and not in Blu being controlled by Jewel. I do hope they cover the topic of Blu's parents, perhaps Jewel having her father makes Blu jealous of the fact she gets to have parents, and he doesn't. I predict they would go on holidays to Rio, (otherwise why call it Rio?) and hopefully it won't be '1 dimensional smugglers' trying to get them or something. Again, hopefully they mention Blu's parents. Perhaps they could have a surreal dream where Blu sees his mother, and have it be really sad. I don't know.


gUyS i WaS bOrN iN tEh WrOnG gEnErAtIoN

You say Rihanna, I say Anthrax (good in letters)

You say Bruno Mars, I say Judas Priest (more like POOdis Pisst lmao)

You say Hannah Montana, I say Black Sabbath (Black gaybath lmao)

You say Owl City, I say Slayer (more like gayer lmao)

You say Jonas Brothers, I say Iron Maiden (more like Iron Gayden lmao)

You say Taylor Swift, I say Pantera (more like pantie-ra lmao)

You say One Direction, I say Megadeth (more like Megashit lmao)

You say Justin Bieber, I say Fuck You

95% of teens these days listen to the same formulaic, crappy pop over and over again. If you're one of the 5% who still listens to real music,copy and paste this to at least five profiles. Don't let the spirit of rock and roll, hard rock and metal die!

Put Your Name Next to Mine Once You've Copy and Pasted: LexisTexas2000, KungFuPanadaFanatic,ThrashMetalMartin, Proffesor Ass Spiders

More like: Bore Ragnarok, am I right guys?

The Salmon Act 1986 is an Act of Parliament of the United Kingdom, passed in 1986, which regulates salmon fishery. It is frequently cited in lists of absurd or unusual laws, since it contains a provision making it illegal to "handle salmon in suspicious circumstances".[1]


The act contains 43 paragraphs, dealing with a wide range of detailed matters relating to salmon fisheries. Matters covered include

  1. the definition and registration of "salmon fishery", the legal regulation of close seasons on such fisheries, and the constitution and governance of salmon fishery boards.
  2. regulation of the methods allowed for salmon fishing (specifically, giving the Secretary of State the power to define what is meant by various forms of net fishing)
  3. regulation of the trade in salmon dealers.

A large part of the Act updates Victorian-era legislation, for instance, the Salmon Fisheries (Scotland) Act 1868.

Handling Salmon in Suspicious Circumstances[edit]

Section 32 of the Act is headed "Handling Salmon in Suspicious Circumstances".[2] This section creates an offence in England and Wales or Scotland for any person who receives or disposes of any salmon in circumstances where they believe, or could reasonably believe, that the salmon has been illegally fished. Essentially, this is a provision aimed at reducing salmon poaching by making the handling of poached salmon a criminal offence. Section 22 introduces a parallel provision into Scottish law.[3]

This offence is often cited, without its context, in lists of quirky or absurd laws—often alongside archaic or downright mythical "laws".

At the turn of the millennium, there were signs. Was there something out there? A higher intelligence, a mysterious force at work. Beyond words. Beyond comprehension. Beyond, beyond. What will the new millennium bring? In theory, a shadowy construct fathomed by scientists at their wit's end of the quest of the answer to everything. Beyond time. Beyond space. Beyond gravity. Beyond dimensions we understand. A natural force simply known as, Millennium Force. Somewhere, racing along the edge of the time space continuum in the universe as we know it. It's out there. Millennium Force. The future is riding on it. Gravity knows no force like Millennium Force. A two minute forty-five second journey through space and beyond. First hill, 310 feet [310 feet]. The drop, 300 feet. Falling towards earth at 80 degrees [80 degrees]. 92 miles per hour [92 miles per hour]. Next hill, a nearly inverted turn 169 feet in the air. Then, into the tunnel. Third hill, 182 feet. Turn, thunder back to town. [Greatest thrill ride ever]. Airtime, return to the station, breathe . You have just broken ten world records. [Fastest, longest, steepest, first ever.] Beyond coaster, giga coaster. Millennium Force.

Stop spamming your bios with copy and pastes!

Have you ever read someone's bio and be bombarded with their dozen sappy, dumb, in your face copy and pastes? Well I am too, and you should all be! They're all the same.

We're all equal! Copy/paste this if you're against bigotry! Homophobia bad! If you're apart of this group, be proud! I'm not like other x! 95% of kids these days x! I'M A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE, MUMMY SAYS SO!

All the same carebears 'love and friendship' message, with the subtlety of being struck by an intercontinental ballistic missile! Well guess what bitch, NO ONE GIVES A SHIT IF YOU THINK THAT TORTURING PEOPLE AND SPITTING ON THEIR GRAVES IS NOT NICE. GUESS WHAT, EVERY SANE PERSON THINKS THAT!

Hey guys, did you know that I think murder, rape, racism and bigotry is bad? Good job, Billy, that's so wonderful!


So if you're like me (an alpha male redpilled mother*cker lol) and don't have the gays, then stand by me and say it loud, say it proud!


Copy and paste if you agree! Put your name below:

Proffesor Ass Spiders

Please note that quite a few of my 'favourite authors' aren't even my actual favourite authors. Many of them I have read few, or none of their stories. I do have an obsession with keeping lists and documenting things. I do this with Movies, tv shows, songs, episodes of shows, etc. I don't know why, but I just do.

Also some of the authors are just online acquaintances of mine, I wouldn't really call them friends. Hopefully no one drowned in their tears because they read that.

I also pester Fonjavters by making retarded jokes and pestering him about Banana Phone, until he snaps and hires a hitman on me. If I'm found dead with several bullet holes, then its probably because I was dispatched by a hitman hired by Fonjavters. To investigators who find this, then please know it was justified, unless it was a break and enter gone wrong, then it probably wasn't. I am very annoying, and not funny.

Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself. Melt fuel can't steel jet beams. The Earth is a 4th dimension tesseract. #wakeupsheeple

I discovered that you can set your location to Best Korea. This is hilarious.

If you're curious where my profile pic came from, its from the Clint Eastwood film, 'Escape From Alcatraz'. I edited in MS Paint.

Also, as of 11:51pm, 14/05/2020 Fonjavters died. This is so sad, Alexa play Despacito.

And that concludes my overly long bio.

That is all you need to know about me. Now run along now child.

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