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Proffesor Ass Spiders PM
My Stories 26
2Hereditary Guilt » Genetics isn't the only thing that is inherently hereditary that you can pass on to your children. The guilts and traumatic experiences Blu and Jewel had when they were young have come back to haunt their son, Tiago. Tiago and his family must try and figure out what's going on, and hopefully help the spirits find peace. Genres: Supernatural/Spiritual/Hurt/Comfort
Rio, T, English, Supernatural & Hurt/Comfort, chapters: 2, words: 6k+, updated: 19h published: 10/18, Blu, Jewel, Tiago
9Bluey » A remake of the first Rio film with new characters, changed characters, new themes, rules and more. Bluey is a spix's macaw from Moose Lake who must save the species with a spirited female named Jewel. Much ensues, including their developing love, sadness and plenty of comedy. May or may not update for a while, so keep that in mind.
Rio, T, English, Adventure & Romance, chapters: 8, words: 17k+, favs: 7, follows: 6, updated: 10/19 published: 7/19
2Reborn Remastered » While walking home from school, 15 year old Alice is killed in a hit and run, but is granted a second life as a Spix's macaw and the daughter of Blu and Jewel. A remaster of my first story that was decent. Featuring more detail, extra humour and is in general, better. And no, I still won't write a lemon.
Rio, M, English, Humor & Hurt/Comfort, chapters: 2, words: 3k+, favs: 3, follows: 4, 10/18
1 The Hurting A story about a broken home that a small glaucous macaw lives in. His name is Tomas, and his whole families hates him for things he couldn't control. Families don't always love each other, and Tomas knows that all too well. The cover is an edited version of the Tears for Fears album of the same name.
Rio, T, English, Hurt/Comfort & Family, words: 6k+, 10/17, OC
9Unfunny ScenaRios » A series of stupid and humorous one shots and skits. Will update every now and then. If you have any suggestions, tell me. Contains plenty of blue humour. Rated M just to be safe I suppose.
Rio, M, English, Humor, chapters: 7, words: 8k+, favs: 3, follows: 3, updated: 10/16 published: 6/23
4Rio 3 lol » A spoof/parody/satire/chill, its just ironic bro of the many ideas of Rio 3, as well as many stories on the archive in general. Featuring tonnes of humour, (including plenty of blue humour) satire, and some other stuff, this story is guaranteed to make at least one person on God's 70% blue and partly green but also white, brown and reddish Earth laugh.
Rio, T, English, Parody & Humor, chapters: 3, words: 4k+, updated: 10/14 published: 10/13
22One-Winged Angel » "Flying is freedom and not having to rely on anyone", those are the words of Jewel. Unfortunately, the thing she loves most is taken from her. Jewel's wing is amputated due to the damage it received, and Blu must help her get through this as she battles with depression and grief due to her disability. Credit to bluJewel stories for the idea.
Rio, T, English, Hurt/Comfort & Romance, chapters: 7, words: 19k+, favs: 10, follows: 10, updated: 9/30 published: 6/24, Blu, Jewel
16Little Blue Orphan » Blu and his family travel to Rio to spend the summer. However, Blu's past demons come back, and he starts having dreams about his parents and his life before he was smuggled. This triggers him to find out what happened to his parents and this obsession soon drives him to insanity. Might change the rating later on.
Rio, T, English, Hurt/Comfort & Tragedy, chapters: 5, words: 25k+, favs: 11, follows: 13, updated: 9/24 published: 7/16
2 Father's Day The Gunderson family celebrate a special date for fathers: Father's Day. A short one-shot that is better than A Blu Christmas.
Rio, K+, English, Family, words: 1k+, favs: 3, follows: 1, 9/5, Blu, Jewel, Bia, Tiago
13Too Ugly To Be Loved » An alt. version of Rio, where Blu has been severely disfigured by Psittacine Beak and Feather disease, and this destroys his self-esteem. However, when he finds out he is the last of his kind, he must venture to Rio, and possibly, despite his disfigurement, win the girl of his dreams over. Cover image is from David Lynch's 1980 film, The Elephant Man. No disrespect is intended.
Rio, T, English, Hurt/Comfort & Romance, chapters: 4, words: 9k+, favs: 8, follows: 8, updated: 8/19 published: 5/2, Blu, Jewel
6To Be A Harpy » After Blu succumbs to a mortal wound that was the result of a harpy eagle attack, Blu is resurrected and all seems fine... Until he becomes the thing that killed him: A harpy eagle. He learns some lessons about the world, and soon realises his path reaches a fork. Both paths will lead to him hurting someone, and he must decide which path to take.
Rio, T, English, Hurt/Comfort & Drama, chapters: 2, words: 5k+, favs: 8, follows: 9, 8/15, Blu, Jewel, OC
3 Harpy Lives Matter A one-shot showing Harpyphobes that Harpy eagles are animals capable of emotions, and are worthy of life. They may take it, but it ain't their fault. Directed at the countless Harpy deaths and villains in Rio fanfictions. Stop murdering Harpies, start murdering chickens. They're evil, and they want to take over the world. Support KFC, Chick-Fill-A and other fast food chains.
Rio, T, English, Tragedy, words: 655, 8/11
4 Orphaned » Tiago is left the sole survivor of a viscous Harpy eagle attack that leaves his entire family dead. With no family left, he is taken care of by Linda as he battles through survivor's guilt. Are the ghosts real? Or is he just insane? Not for the faint of heart. Rated M just to be overly cautious.
Rio, M, English, Tragedy & Hurt/Comfort, chapters: 2, words: 6k+, favs: 4, follows: 4, updated: 8/5 published: 8/4, Tiago
1 Epic Rio horror story A parody of over the top creepypastas and poorly written horror stories in general. Blu and his family are plagued by stupid scary stuff that does stupid scary stuff for no reason and with no build up for the sole purpose of shock value and 'scariness'. I wrote this in under 10 minutes lol
Rio, M, English, Horror & Parody, words: 543, 7/28
12Wish You Were Here » Regret is a powerful emotion, and one that can ruin someone. Blu is no exception. Losing someone you care about is hard on its own, imagine how hard it must be living a life of regret and loneliness, awaiting for the day both you and your species dies. That is the situation Blu is in, all because he stayed behind. Maybe joy will be brought back into his life...Just maybe...
Rio, T, English, Hurt/Comfort & Tragedy, chapters: 3, words: 7k+, favs: 4, follows: 5, updated: 7/12 published: 5/17, Blu, Linda
2 Ice Age Baby A bunch of people try to stop the hyperevil and malevolent ICE AGE BABY. Starring Ice Age characters and Shrek. This story is a joke, and I got it from Fonjavters, who got it from a Youtube comment. ICE AGE BABY, FOREVER. ICE AGE BABY, FOREVER. Enough references to a stupid song from Vanilla Ice. Contains plenty of swearing and memes.
Shrek & Ice Age, M, English, Parody, words: 2k+, 7/1
9 A Human In The Spix's Tribe » Alicia is a depressed spix's macaw, who still has yet to get over the traumatic fires that ravaged the tribe, which took away her father, brother and best friend Jewel. But Alicia will find a new purpose in life: A human baby which she adopts and raises. With it brings a whole new can of worms, which she must overcome. Could a human really fare well in the Spix's tribe?
Rio, T, English, Family & Hurt/Comfort, chapters: 3, words: 7k+, favs: 4, follows: 4, updated: 6/11 published: 6/5, OC
6Rio Chatroom, or, How Four Birds Found Love » Blu and his 3 friends talk to each other in an internet chatroom. (used to) Takes place one day before Rio, and continues after. During this, the birds find love. Rated T for mild coarse language and sexual references. Now a full on story. Thanks OrangeMacawWorld! ON HIATUS FOR AN UNSPECIFIED AMOUNT OF TIME!
Rio, T, English, Humor & Romance, chapters: 3, words: 2k+, favs: 3, follows: 3, updated: 5/31 published: 4/17, Blu, OC
13True Blues » Blu is a pet Blue Cockatoo living in Moose Lake with his owner, Linda. However, when they learn he is the last male of his kind, and there is a female in the aviary in Cairns, they must travel there. Blu and Jewel battle smugglers, meet other birds who will help them along the way, and maybe they might just fall in love...Aussie Rio. Yes, I made a fictional parrot species lol.
Rio, M, English, Adventure & Romance, chapters: 9, words: 18k+, favs: 3, follows: 3, updated: 5/14 published: 5/7, Blu, Jewel, OC
5 Very Sad Rio Story, but its Google Translated I took my first story and Google Translated it many times, and may have accidentally stumbled across the word of god, or something. It is profoundly wise, and you have to have a very high I.Q to understand it. I understand it as I read Uncyclopedia and watch Rick and Morty. What have I created? I legitimately haven't laughed this much in a while. Please read or else.
Rio, T, English, Humor, words: 2k+, favs: 3, follows: 2, 5/9
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