66 I don't give a tinker's curse, Aldia! » A survivor of the ill-fated war with the giants returns to Drangleic years before the fated Bearer of the Curse. The plan: fill a boat full of weapons and fight giants until everyone is hollow.
Dark Souls, T, English, Fantasy & Humor, chapters: 21, words: 56k+, favs: 20, follows: 25, updated: 8/30/2020 published: 4/12/2020, Soldier, Aldia, Scholar of the First Sin
37Why can't I just take MAI WAIFU on a date? » Extra chapters for the Take the Series. No particular order, published infrequently. Will take topic suggestions in reviews.
Dark Souls, T, English, Fantasy & Humor, chapters: 5, words: 13k+, favs: 106, follows: 123, updated: 11/24/2019 published: 5/31/2016, Gwyndolin, Dragon Slayer Ornstein, Witch of Izalith
370 Ring of Favor and Protection » All Deacon Lex had wanted in life was a loving wife and maybe a pet. He would happily serve the gods in peace. Imagine his surprise when he is chosen as Prophet and sent on a mission to ancient Lordran. With a knight of Astora at his side, will he save the world - or will he settle for being a witch's plaything?
Dark Souls, M, English, Fantasy & Humor, chapters: 60, words: 227k+, favs: 305, follows: 322, updated: 10/1/2019 published: 12/13/2016, Cleric, Oscar, Knight of Astora, Solaire of Astora
11001 Looking Glass Nights A collection of short stories about what happens between our undead journeys.
Dark Souls, T, English, Fantasy & Hurt/Comfort, words: 1k+, favs: 14, follows: 16, 10/31/2018, Lothric, Younger Prince
122Why can't I just take an army of summons and drown them in bodies? » The Chosen Undead has saved the world, defeated great evils, and most importantly, lost his virginity, but when all timelines begin to converge, it'll take everyone to keep some jerkoff Lords of Cinder from flushing it all down the toilet. Part of the Take the Ring metaplot.
Dark Souls, T, English, Fantasy & Humor, chapters: 10, words: 26k+, favs: 332, follows: 378, updated: 7/6/2018 published: 4/22/2016, Gwyndolin, Priscilla, Artorias the Abysswalker, Shira
62 Why can't I just take the cord without killing the larva? » The nightmare whirls and churns unending...
Dark Souls & Bloodborne, T, English, Fantasy & Humor, chapters: 7, words: 13k+, favs: 237, follows: 224, updated: 2/21/2017 published: 11/28/2015, Cleric, Laurence, Amelia, Maria
263 Why can't I just take Shanalotte on adventures with me? » Flung into the distant future, the victorious Chosen Undead searches for a way back in time in order to prevent this awful sequel from occurring in the first place. Follows "Take the Ring."
Dark Souls, T, English, Fantasy & Humor, chapters: 27, words: 70k+, favs: 580, follows: 528, updated: 12/31/2016 published: 1/28/2016, Cleric
740 Why can't I just take the ring after I fight Artorias? » Questioning only briefly why he's there anyway, a human from the real world ignores the rules of the game and drags Oscar of Astora on a grand adventure to discover the truth of the conflict between Light and Dark. But more importantly to impress his waifu.
Dark Souls, T, English, Fantasy & Humor, chapters: 65, words: 184k+, favs: 1k+, follows: 891, updated: 10/18/2015 published: 3/19/2015, Cleric, Witch Beatrice, Oscar, Knight of Astora, Siegmeyer of Catarina