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Steampunk Slytherin PM
Biography
Joined Sep '20

Hello, fellow fangirls! (And fanboys, but you guys are a rare species, but if you do exist, you are amazhang, my friend!) I am Steampunk Slytherin.

I am a teenage girl, I am pansexual and a Christian Baptist. I'm obsessed with Hershey's milk chocolate for some reason, I love music, I play the flute and do color guard, I love writing stories, especially horror.

I am probably the biggest bookworm you will ever meet. I have over a thousand books, I have two bookcases in my room, yet they still can't hold all my books, which are spread under my bed, on my nightstand, all over the house, in the car. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. I hate most vegetables. I'm right-handed. I have scoliosis and I have worn a back brace since the third grade (I'm in 9th now) and I'm getting spinal fusion surgery next summer. I have two dogs, a black lab named Daisy and a basset hound named Copper. I have two younger twin siblings who are INSANE and I honestly want to set myself on fire when I babysit them, which is everyday b/c of quarantine, ya know.

I'm from South Carolina.

Almost every movie I love, but if I had a favorite it would either be The Greatest Showman or Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark. My favorite shows are Stranger Things, Cobra Kai, No Good Nick, Supernatural, KC Undercover, Young Sheldon, and Friends. My favorite books are pretty much anything Rick Riordan writes, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Divergent, and a lot of others. If y'all want to know who my godly parent is, it's Aphrodite, but I would most likely join the Hunters of Artemis (yeah I know, a child of Aphrodite wanting to join a group of man-haters? UNHEARD OF! Until now!), I'm a muggleborn and proud. I'm a Slytherin. Knowing my luck, I would get reaped for the Hunger Games, but if someone close to me got reaped, I would volunteer for them in a heartbeat.

Let me tell you what I look like. I have waist-length caramel-colored hair that always gets natural highlights when outside. I have tan skin. I 5'7, but I would be taller if my back was straight. I have big hazelnut eyes that change color depending on what I'm wearing with long eyelashes. I like to think that my eyes are my best feature, especially when I put makeup on them. I love makeup. A lot of people tell me that I'm really pretty, but I really don't care. Most of the time, I look like a mad scientist, crazy hair, and all.

I'm really good at drawing, painting, anything that has to do with art.

If you guys want, you can check out my other fanfiction accounts. On Quotev, my username is Steampunk Slytherin (My favorite fanfic of all time is on there; it's called Why Me? by Mystery Angel of Death). My Wattpad account is HuntressofArtemis87. On Quotev, I am apart of the Art Club, you guys can find some of my art there. We're not accepting any more members, sorry guys :(.

Oh yeah, my favorite food is Mexican and Italian (although fried chicken is bae). My favorite colors are teal, emerald green, hot pink, black (IT IS A COLOR, FIGHT ME-), and purple. My favorite fruits are strawberries and pineapple.


The 27 Commandments of Fanfiction (a few of which I have blatantly ignored in the past)

1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it. Unless it's a glitchy mobile device.

2.Thou shalt not post a chapter of fewer than 100 words unless it is a drabble. This displeases the masses.

3.Thou shalt not put the author's notes in the middle of the story.

4.Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic unless the characters are actually texting.

5.Thou shalt keeps to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly.

6.Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well.

7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious.

8.Thou shalt not use :), ;l, or :( or any other variation in fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character.

9.Thou shall try-eth to keep characters in character!

10.Thou shall not treat every criticism as a flame.

11.The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so.

12.Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary.

13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words in length.

14. Thou shall not insert thyself into the storyline as thyself or as a character- yes we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character.

15.If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original storyline, point it out in the beginning.

16.Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason).

17.Thou shalt show and not tell.

18.Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers.

19.Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak-est- writing is an art.

20.Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise.

21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader.

22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise, thine readers shalt be confuse-ed.

23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason.

24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on, it displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision and make angels weep.

25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story.

26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows a lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside.

27. Thou shall use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers.

(Bonus rules-because I can)

28. Thou shall not use links to pictures instead of describing character appearances and scenes. Don't be lazy about this. Please. Links don't always last forever.

29. Thous shalt not add an OC that is overpowered compared to the rest of the characters or that is way too unrealistic (a prime example: a Big Three kid that could do everything Jason and Thalia combined could, plus was so good at self-defense while using electronics and was perfect in almost every way...yeah, no. Been there, seen that, ruined the story for me)

30. Thou shall write thine fanfic as if writing an actual original story, with regards to everything above.

31. Thou shalt not forget the disclaimer.

32. Thou shalt use capitalization. There is a shift key for good reason.

Why do people do all of the above??????


I promise to remember Percy, whenever I'm at sea.

I promise to remember Annabeth, whenever a spider comes at me.

I promise to protect nature, for Grover's sake of course.

I promise to remember Luke when my heart fills with remorse.

I promise to remember Chiron, whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''.

I promise to remember Tyson, whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side.

I promise to remember Thalia whenever a friend is scared of heights.

I promise to remember Clarisse when I see someone who gives me a fright.

I promise to remember Bianca, whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother.

I promise to remember Nico, whenever I see someone who never plays the hero.

I promise to remember Leo when I make a promise to someone,

I promise to remember Reyna when I do something that's hard

I promise to remember Hazel, when I get a second chance.

I promise to remember Frank when I have to take a chance.

I promise to remember Piper when I see someone breaking the mold

I promise to remember Drew when I have to do as told,

I promise to acknowledge the ignored, just as Ethan wanted,

I promise to think of Charles and Silena when I see the love that can't be broken.

I promise to remember Bob, whenever I see the stars

I promise to remember Rachel, whenever a limo passes my car.

Yes, I promise to remember PJO,
Wherever I may go!


I am a book freak, yes.

So what?

While I hole myself up in a good story,

you're off frying your brains.

While I lose myself in unknown worlds,

you're off playing Minecraft or World of Warcraft.

While I learn things you cannot imagine,

you're off failing school and your teachers and family.

I know more about some characters than I do myself—

characters you will never know.

I can survive my whole life in a world—

a world you will never see.

I know the secrets of people, places, and creatures—

all of which you will never meet.

I could ruin your life if I had the heart to and if you and I were in one of the worlds I know—

and you would never tell the difference.

I create worlds, people, creatures, but most of all lives with my words that you call another boring subject—

something you will never experience the joy and pride of.

I have ridden on dragons, outwitted darkness, eluded death a thousand times . . .

I have saved lives, used magic, unraveled deathly secrets that could start wars . . .

I have swum with the serpents, flown with the pegasi, howled with the wolves . . .

I have stood upon the moon, fought in great battles, discovered new universes . . .

I have relived long-gone lives, shaped new destinies, guided the paths of others . . .

I have stepped into other worlds, become other creatures, experienced unimaginable things . . .

I have lived through wars, living nightmares, the worst of tragedies . . .

I have felt the joy, pride, and elation of just—knowing.

Knowing the fact that you would never learn what I have.

And never have I moved a single inch, as long as I read.

I have traveled universes while sitting in a corner with a book

For you, one glance is what it took

To say it was useless and stupid

But you can never experience time travel or falling again and again,

You can never live a life of the first daughter who hates it or experience victory over dictators,

And other things I have,

Yet you claim that all of this is boring—

Boring, stupid, sad, uncool, dumb, even embarrassing.

You say that this is something no one can like.

And yet, here I stand, holding a book.

If you agree with what I have written, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to make our voices heard: Crystal Silvera, Akronite, Jasminehoran, Anjali Roongta, Samantha W.

Today, writers are scorned because of those too unversed to know.


Strangers stab you in the front.
Friends stab you in the back.
Boyfriends stab you in the heart.
Best friends poke you with straws.

Let's eat, Gramma!
Let's eat Gramma!
PUNCTUATION SAVES LIVES.

I find inspiration in cooking, my family, and my dog.
I find inspiration in cooking my family and my dog.
COMMAS SAVE LIVES.

Dear Math,
Please stop asking us to find your X. She's not coming back, and don't ask Y either...

Dear Math,
I am not a therapist. Solve your own problems.

Dear Yahoo,
I have never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo it!"Just saying...
Sincerely, Google

Dear The Optimist, The Pessimist, and The Realist,
While you idiots were arguing whether the glass was half full, half empty, or half of both air and water hence always full, I drank the glass.
Sincerely, The Opportunist

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I hate rhyming.
Zebra.

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," the sarcastic teacher said. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" inquired the teacher.
"Well, actually, I don't," said the student, "I just hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

DO NOT READ THE NEXT SENTENCE.
You little rebel. I like you.

Real men don't sparkle. Real men defeat dark wizards.

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, but on Halloween, it's encouraged. Does this make sense to anyone?


This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley, she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe it or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God


Do You Want to be an Author When You Grow Up?

You talk to yourself,

You talk to yourself as if there is another person in front of you, but you know there isn't,

The Keyboard letters are fading because of over typing,

You love to read,

It's not hard to find paper and pen near you,

One of your Idols is an Author,

You spend most of your time on Fan Fiction,

If someone asks "What are you doing?" you'll answer either writing, reading, or whatnot.

If the Library is one of your favorite places.

You want to be an author when you grow up.


RELATIONSHIPS

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Your place or mine. I can't decide.

Woman: Both. You go to yours. I'll go to mine. Problem solved.

Man: What do you think

Woman: I think you could use a mint.

Man: What do you do for a living?

Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: What's your sign?

Woman: Do not enter.

FRIENDS

Friends: Lend you an umbrella.

Best Friends: Takes yours and runs away screaming, "EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!!!!"

Friends: Never ask for anything to eat or drink

Best Friends: Are the reason your 'fridge is empty.

Friends: Would bail you out of jail.

Best Friends: Would be sitting there next to you saying, "THAT WAS SO FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!!"

Friends: Would help you up after you tripped.

Best Friends: Would help you up after you tripped, but only after they're done laughing... yeah... don't count on getting helped up...

Friends: Borrows your stuff for a few days, then returns it.

Best Friends: Borrows your stuff, loses it, and tells you, "my bad... here's a tissue."

Friends: Know only your favorite things.

Best Friends: Could write an embarrassing autobiography on your life story.

Friends: Will comfort you when your crush rejects you.

Best Friends: Will walk right up to your crush and say, "it's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will teach me how to drive
BEST FRIENDS: Will help me push the car in the lake so I can collect insurance.

FRIENDS: Will go to the concert with me
BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with me.

FRIENDS: Will hide me from the cops
BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason there after me.

FRIENDS: Will let me make a fool of myself in public
BEST FRIENDS: Are making a fool of themselves next to me.


What happens in movies:

Girl dies in the movie* HAHAHAHA! That's what you get!!!!

Guy dies in the movie* You weren't a very character anyway!!!!!!

Dog dies in the movie* WTH! WHY WOULD YOU KILL THE DOG?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!


If you mouth "Pink elephants eating watermelon" over and over again, it looks like you're actually saying multiple things.


You know you're in the 21st Century when:

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is because they don't have a screen name or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote then press the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job

7.) As you read this you keep nodding and smiling

8.) As you read this you think about sending it to all your friends

9.)and you were to busy to notice number 5

10.) You scroll back up again to see if there was a number 5

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly

12.) Put this in your profile, and you know fell for it too.

I ACTUALLY DIDN'T FALL FOR IT! IN YO FACE!


THE HUNGER GAMES PLEDGE:

I promise to remember Rue when mockingbirds’ songs wake me.

I’ll think of Foxface every time I eat a strange new berry.

If my little sister pets a goat, I promise to think of Prim.

And if my best friend acts depressed then Gale; I’ll think of him.

When I toss some wood in the fire, I’ll think of Katniss every time.

And I’ll always think of Peeta when my birthday cake’s sublime.

The Capitol will cross my mind when someone is unfair.

I’ll be sure to think of Clove each time I pretend to care.

I’ll always think of Glimmer if someone’s pretty, but a dunce.

And Thresh will occupy my mind if I spare someone, something… Once.

Whenever I watch a reality show, I will think of the Hunger Games.

I’ll surely imagine Haymitch if someone calls me names.

I swear to think of Cato when I’m homicidally inclined.

I’ll make sure I think of Effie when there’s nothing on my mind.

I swear to remember the Hunger Games.


THINGS I MUST NOT DO AT HOGWARTS AGAIN:

1. I will NOT sing “We’re off to see The Wizard” when I am sent to the headmaster's office.

2. Dobby is NOT Yoda in disguise.

3. He is NOT Gollum either.

4. I will NOT bring a magic-8-ball to Divination Class.

5. My homework was NOT eaten by a werewolf. Especially when my teacher is Professor Lupin.

6. I will NOT tell the first years to make a tree-house in the Whomping Willow.

7. I will NOT give Lupin a flea collar.

8. Nor will I leave dog-biscuits on his desk.

9. If a classmate falls asleep I will NOT take advantage of this and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

10. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year’s Defence against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky. It is NOT a clever money-making concept.

11. I do NOT have a Dalek Patronus.

12. I will NOT teach House-Elves to impersonate Jar-Jar Binks.

13. Shouting “To Infinity and Beyond!” was only funny the first time I took off on a broom.

14. I will NOT refer to the summoning charm (Accio) as “The Force”.

15. “Springtime for Voldemort” is NOT a proper title for the school production.

16. I will NOT greet Prof. McGonagall with “What’s new Pussy-cat?”.

17. I will NOT send shampoo to Snape’s office, no matter how badly he needs it.

18. "Potter 6, Voldemort 0" is not a valid T-shirt slogan.

19. Even though they are easier to use and probably more effective, I will not use guns against the Death Eaters.

20. I will not charm Firenze pink and call him "My Little Pony."

21. No matter how funny it is I will NOT leave kitty litter in Prof. McGonagall’s office. (scratch office, leave it on her desk!?)

22. I will NOT dress up as Lord Voldemort for Halloween.

23. I will NOT ask Harry Potter if his “Scar-Senses” are tingling.

24. I will NOT call Dumbledore Santa Claus. Even if it is Christmas.

25. I will NOT tell Voldemort to “Get a life”.

26. I will NOT tell Draco Malfoy to 'make like a ferret and bounce'

28. I will NOT go around and say that Seamus stole me Lucky Charms.

29. I will NOT joke about Remus Lupin's time of the month.

30. I will NOT wander in the corridors at night under the invisibility cloak singing the Pink Panther theme just to see what Filch does.

31. I will NOT buy Professor McGonagall cat food.

32. 'Ruling the world with an evil army of monkeys' is not a proper career choice.

33. Yelling "I'm Melting!" while in the showers is frowned upon, and it may scare some of the first years

34. The four houses of Hogwarts are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Not the Awesomes, the Morons, the Smarts, and the Mini-Death Eaters.

35. Dumbledore is to be addressed as Headmaster, or Sir. Not as 'Dude', 'Santa', or even 'Dumbles'.

36. Ruling the world with an army of evil flying monkeys is not a proper job choice.

37. I will NOT ask Harry Potter if he knows a good scar removal spell.


I am that girl,

The one who likes books more than boys.

The one who writes to escape

The one who just wants to help

The one that really wants to make a difference

The one that sticks to her values

The one that refuses to believe that this is it

The one that will do anything to make a better tomorrow

The one who won't give in

The one who won't give up

I am the girl that people look through when I say something.

I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most girls wouldn't call normal.

I am the girl that people call weird.

I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on Facebook or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone.

I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment),

Who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do anymore,

Who can express herself better with words than with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

I am that girl


Annabeth: It's hard to believe you can teleport using a stick.

Hermione: This isn't a stick. It's a wand. You're the one to say. A cap that makes you disappear?

Annabeth: It's simple physics. Now tell me what is the science on the splitting of souls.

Hermione: Only after you explain to me the lack of DNA in all of you guys.

Annabeth: After you explain how to make things float with words and a wand.

Hermione: After you explain how a watch can become a giant shield.

Annabeth:

Hermione:

Annabeth:

Hermione:

Annabeth:

Hermione: At least our boyfriends don't sparkle.

Annabeth: Right!

Bella: HEY!


Random things you should try:

1) Point at someone and shout "You're one of them!" Run and pretend to trip. Crawl away slowly.

2) Look at a see-through glass and when someone is on the other side shout "OH MY GOD, I'M HIDEOUS!"

3) Walk up to a small child that resembles you, and tell them that you are them from the future.

4) Put a Dora doll in the middle of Walmart. When someone tries to pick it up yell "SWIPER NO SWIPING".

5) Run up to someone random on the street and slap them with a loaf of bread.

6) Go to Petsmart and buy birdseed. Then ask the clerk how long it will take the birds to grow.

7) Go to McDonald's and ask for a happy meal with extra happy.

8) Bring a desk on an elevator. When people try to get on ask if they have an appointment.

9) Go to a pet shop, point at an employee, and shout "I WANT THAT ONE MOMMY!!!"

10) Follow strangers around a store and spray everything they touch with disinfectant.

11) Come late to school and when the teacher asks why say your pet rock had a seizure.

12) Go up to random people at the mall, show them your ID, and say, "HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN?!"

13) Buy an ice cream, ask the cashier if they believe in unicorns then squish the cone on your forehead.

14) Go to a library and ask for a book on how to read.

15) Go to Walmart and hide in a bathroom stall when someone opens it, say WELCOME TO NARNIA!!

16) Go jump on a random guy's back and yell (THE SKY IS FALLING RUN MAN RUN) and see what happens.

17) Run through a police station and yell " I finally escaped from prison!".

18) Go to McDonald's and ask for directions to Burger King.

19) Go in a Dressing room at Walmart, and yell " OH NO, There's no toilet paper left !!"

20) Make a cardboard car and wait in a carwash line, acting as if everything's normal.

21) Drive a tricycle past a cop while drinking a juice pouch screaming "YOU CAN'T CATCH ME".

22) Take a stuffed animal to the vet.

23) In a public place, hold up a box of cheerios and yell "FREE DONUT SEEDS!".

24) Go to McDonald's and ask for fries without the potatoes.


The Percy Jackson pledge

I promise to remember Percy

Whenever I'm at sea

I promise to remember Annabeth

Whenever a spider comes at me

I promise to protect nature

For Grover's sake of course

I promise to remember Luke

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Chiron

Whenever I see a sign that says ''Free Pony Ride''

I promise to remember Tyson

Whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side

I promise to remember Thalia

Whenever a friend is scared of heights

I promise to remember Clarisse

Whenever I see someone that gives me a fright

I promise to remember Bianca

Whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother

I promise to remember Nico

Whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others

I promise to remember Zoe

Whenever I watch the stars

I promise to remember Rachel

Whenever a limo passes my car.

Yes I promise to remember PJO

Wherever I may go

Now swear it on the River Styx!


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NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast
PJO FANS: will tell Zeus to make it rain

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
PJO FANS: say OH, MY GODS!

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
PJO FANS:won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!
PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you!

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid
PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME, SOMEBODY!
PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half-Blood

NORMAL PEOPLE: don't have this on their profile
PJO FANS: Must have this on their profile


Harry Potter Pledge

I promise to remember Snape when I love someone who doesn't love me back.

I promise to remember The Marauders when I'm with my friends having the time of our lives.

I promise to remember Draco when I have to make the hard choice between good and evil.

I promise to remember Hagrid when I feel that everything in this world should be loved by someone.

I promise to remember Hermione when no one thinks it's ok to be smart.

I promise to remember Ron when I don't get any attention for myself.

I promise to remember Sirius, whenever I take a risk that may alter my life completely.

I promise to remember Fred and George when I'm pulling pranks or being sarcastic.

I promise to remember Dumbledore when I'm making the choice between what is right, and what is easy.

I promise to remember Lupin when I'm afraid that people will judge me for what I am.

I promise to remember Cho when I've lost someone close and can't let go.

I promise to remember Ginny when I need to fight off my demons and be strong.

I promise to remember Percy when I get too power-hungry and put work before family.

I promise to remember Neville when I feel worthless inside but have to keep strong for the ones I love and care about.

And I'll remember Harry Potter when I need to be brave and make sacrifices for others.


You Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When…

You go to the Empire State Building and you ask for the 600th Floor.

There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!”

Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes.

When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses.

You burn food to see if it smells good.

You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!”

You’re in a running/swimming race and you’re praying and sacrificing to Hermes/Poseidon.

You think that your favorite singer is a child of Apollo.

Someone close to you dies and you give them money (LOTS of it) just in case…

Everyone else is creating a Twilight family and you create a PJO family.

You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda…

You’re on a boat and you pray that Poseidon is in a good mood.

You’re in the air (hang-gliding, cliff-diving, bungee jumping, flying, in a plane, etc.) and you hope Zeus is in a good mood and won’t blast you out of the air.

You go to Aunty Em’s and say you’re camera shy.

You find your true love and thank Aphrodite for sending him/her to you

You know Muse is the best singers. Get it, the Nine Muses??

Bring a blue plastic hairbrush with you everywhere.

When it gets really cold randomly, blame Kronos.

You get a Greek mythology calendar for Christmas

You get really mad at Hades when a family member dies.

You sometimes try to control water.

You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months.

You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address.

You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.

That every time you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword.

Every time you play dodgeball, you bring a suit of armor.

You go to San Fransisco looking for the Old Sea Man.

You find yourself praying to Poseidon for rain.

Whenever your internet slows down, you yell at the sky and say "HERMES! WHY DO YOU LOVE ANNOYING ME?!"

You pray to Athena when you don’t study for a math test.

And when you flunk the said test, you blame her irritation on Percabeth

You start hearing Percabeth in every song you hear.

You curse a god/goddess a lot.

You have one (Or more) pictures relating to PJO in your room.

You know PJO better than most sane people.

At least half of your friends have read all the PJO, or are going to in the very near future

You wish you could find a rainbow and a golden drachma to see if Iris messages work

You give friends and yourself a godly parent,

You are trying to learn Greek

You keep thinking about one of the PJO books when you go on a trip.

You think of Percy every time you see a dark haired green-eyed boy

You have an instant crush on Nico! (Dude! I FANGIRL SQUEAL ABOUT HIM!!!!)

You just have to research more about greek mythology

You want to learn Latin.

You copy/paste this onto your profile

Most of your fics are PJO related, even if it is a cross over

You have taken every test you can find about what demigodly parent you would/should have, and your trying to get your friends to

You make sure all of your friends (Or most of them), have an idea about what you say when talking about PJO

Your friends (At least one), think you are obsessed with PJO, and you agree

You have one or more things related to PJO on your school stuff, and if someone asks you why, you tell them

You have something on your school things (Or home things), that says 'Daughter (Or son if you're a guy) of God/goddess', and you don't even try to hide it, even if it says the daughter of Name of unliked god/goddess.

You’re nodding and smiling when you read this

You own every single book

You are planning on adding a lot more things to this list

You call yourself a demigod

You wish with every fiber of your being that the first page of The Lightning Theif told the truth, and the PJO series is real

You find yourself praying to a random god when you didn't study for a math test because you were too busy reading PJO

You've called someone you know a satyr.

You think the TLT poster in your room is a video camera, and they are secretly watching you.

And that's how you know you're obsessed with PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS!

IF YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH PJO LIKE ME, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE. (Notice this is capitalized, italicized, bolded, and underlined. I am SUPER OBSESSED. And proud of it!)


I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

Copy and paste this onto your profile if you think it's amazing too!


Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose: me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says:

The reason you never cross my mind is that you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is that I love you.

The reason I don't want you is that I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is that I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is that I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is that I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is that you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile


Try Not To Cry

Mommy... Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good boy, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Brittany; my girlfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actor, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Brittany, I'm sorry to cancel the date.

I love you, Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

So, please if you would, Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry and remember how blessed they truly are,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

Now you have 2 choices,

1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as "Try Not To Cry"

2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how cold-hearted you really are...

It's ok to cry...

A/N: OH, MY GOD! I'M SOBBING! *blows nose loudly*


A guy and girl are speeding down the road at 100 miles an hour--

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No it's not. Please, just slow down.

Guy: Then tell me that you love me.

Girl: I love you, just slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a hug.

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself; it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into the wall of a building because of brake failure. Two people were on it, and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes weren't working, and didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him that she loved him one last time. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you loved.


Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that isn't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree


People call another Guy fat, No one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight

People call an old man ugly, No one knew he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war.

Dear bullies,
See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? Last night he talked his friend out of suicide.
See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself.
See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country.
See that young boy you just made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor.
See that girl you made fun of for wearing lots of make-up? You bullied her for being ugly without it too.

Repost this if you are against bullying!


When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.
When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.
When a girl wants to see you every day, she wants to be pampered.
When a girl says "I love you." she means it.
When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.
The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.
The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her."
If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.
If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.
Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.
Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.
So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.


Month One-

Mommy. I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heartbeat is my lullaby.

-Month Two-

Mommy. Today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely see I'm a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm here.

-Month Three-

You know what Mommy? I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry too even though you can't hear me.

-Month Four-

Mommy. My hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

-Month Five-

You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

-Month Six-

I can hear the doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding on my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy, what is it? It burns!! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy, help me!!

-Month Seven-

Mommy. I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me, Mommy? What did I do wrong?

Every abortion is just...

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

Please if anyone out there is really thinking about abortion, please think again.

If you don't want the child, send it to be adopted, so it can find someone who will really love it.


(='.'=) This is Bunny.

(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination

HELP THE BUNNY!!!!

/l、 (゚、 。 7 Kitty is Bunny's nemesis. Or evil accomplice. Nobody really knows. l、 ヽ Either way, copy and

じ しf,)ノ paste Kitty as well or Bunny will get lonely


24 Things I owe to my Mother

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you two are going to kill each other, at least do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."

3. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you aren't coming to the store with me!"

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.

6. My mother taught IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "Your room looks like a tornado went through there!"

11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it too!"

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children around the world who don't have wonderful parents as you do!"

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home!"

16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You're going to get it when we get home!"

17. My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way!"

18. My mother taught me about ESP. "Put your sweater on! Don't you think I know when you're cold?"

19. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When the lawnmower cuts off your toes, don't come crying to me!"

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me about MY ROOTS. "Shut that door! Do you think you were raised in a barn?"

23. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you're my age, you'll understand."

24. My mother taught me JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"


Funny quotes people say:

If you are what you eat, then cannibals are the only humans.

Boys are like lava lamps: fun to watch but not too bright.

10 years. Trillions of dollars. Thousands of soldiers dead. State of the art technology. The US finally found Bin Laden... In his house.

Dear America, Since you released upon us the horror that is Miley Cyrus (I actually like her a bit but I thought this was funny), we have decided to retaliate. Its name is Justin Bieber (His songs are ok but I hate him.) and no-one will be spared. Yours faithfully, Canada.

When I die, friends will go to my funeral, good friends will cry at my funeral, but my best friend will change my Facebook status to "Chilin' with Jesus"

Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!

I believe you should live each day as if it were your last, which is why I don't do my laundry. I mean, come on, who would wanna wash clothes on the last day of their life?

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

It's always in the last place you look...of course, it is, why the heck would you keep looking after I found it?

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

When your down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I'll be willing to lay down right next to you.

Sticks and stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.

It's not until you're broken that you know what you're made of.

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

When you're are in jail a friend will bail you out, but a best friend will be sitting right next to you saying "dang, that was fun!"

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up.

Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive

1 out of every 4 people is insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

If something goes without saying, why do people say it?

Please note: Christmas is canceled - apparently you told Santa you were good this year ... and he died laughing

People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled Bang, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I was about to take over the world, but I got distracted when I saw something shiny.

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

God created man-THEN had a better idea!

Be insane... because well-behaved girls never made history

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, it's encouraged! Why is that?

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask directions.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

I like wood. It fascinates me. I can sit and stare at it for hours.

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

I have CDO. It's like OCD but all of the letters are in alphabetical order...like they should be.

It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

The early bird gets the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

I'm not random, I'm just HEY LOOK A SQUIRREL!

You laugh, I laugh. You cry I cry. You jump off a cliff, I laugh.

A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Dang, that was fun!"

Anyone else having trouble getting to Narnia?

I've used up all of my sick days so I'm calling in dead.

Stereotyping? How do you type with a stereo?

People who don't know me think I'm quiet. People who do wish I was.

I didn't slap you, I high-fived your face.

You're a great friend, but if the zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you.

DEATH: the number 1 killer in the U.S (Or in my case UK)...tell your friends.

Hey stupid! Your sock is untied...

If my calculations are correct...slinkies escalator = EVERLASTING FUN!!

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

"To be is to do" Socrates

"To do is to be" Sartre

"Do be do be do." Sinatra

Ever notice that studying is "student" and "dying" put together?

Chocolate is the answer no matter what the question is.

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

We're so cool ice cubes are jealous.

I'm not as random as you think I salad.

On a scale of 1 to crazy, I'm a penguin.

If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

I don't get it...boys think girls are so complicated. Haven't they met themselves?

I see no good reason to act my age.

Don't follow my footsteps, I run into walls.

Be a dork!! Because being cool is overrated.

At this moment, you're the oldest you've ever been. Pretty deep huh?

Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

Hey you! Yeah, you! No, not you, the other guy. You right there! Do you like tacos?

The worst time to have a heart attack; during a game of charades.

If you're reading this then you're not dead. Good for you.

I ROCK! Guitar hero told me.

I tried being normal, but I didn't like it.

I was going to kill the ugliest person alive but then I thought I'd let your mom live one more day

Smile. It makes the world wonder what you're up to.

There are two things that are infinite. The universe and human stupidity. And I'm not so sure about the universe.

Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.

Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.

Be yourself. That's crazy enough.

You always get what's coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.

Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.

The trouble with real life is that there is no background music

I have not lost my mind; it's backed up on a disk somewhere

Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.

Forecast for tonight: darkness

If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do?

I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

How come when you mix water with flour, you get glue, and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go?

If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something

Hell is full of musical amateurs

There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line

I'm not random I just have many thoughts

I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

If you had a life you would stop talking about mine

We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking

The below statement is true

The above statement is false

Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner.

In a world of cheerios, be a fruitloop!

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.

Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them as much

If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Five tequila, six tequila, lock the jail door!

I'm mature and you're not. Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah!

If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the hell are you scared?!

Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a barbie doll.

If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.

I know KUNG-FU and 42 other dangerous words

I and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh it's a secret!

Quick, what's the number for 9-1-1?

By the time you finished reading this, you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life

I burst laughing out in class today...I got that joke you told yesterday

Hi! I'm human. What're you?

Have you considered suing your brain for non-support?

Everyone has a right to be ugly, but you're abusing that privilege.

I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!

Life is like a circle. No wonder I'm so dizzy.

Yeah I'm a loser, but I'm the coolest loser you'll ever meet

One night, I looked up into the sky. I began counting the reasons why I love you. I was doing great until I ran out of stars.

Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars and thought to myself, WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?

It's not that I'm not a “people person”... it's just that I'm not a “stupid people person”.

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience

I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?


Weird Notes and Warnings on Things:

On a Sears hairdryer:

Do not use while sleeping. (Well when else would I use it?)

On a bar of Dial soap:

"Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:

"Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):

"Do not turn upside down." (too late...)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

"Product will be hot after heating." (Ouch. Hot! Oops, should've read to the label)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:

Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights:

"For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what? Outer space?)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:

"Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts" (And then what?)

On a child's superman costume:

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (Wait to crush the kid's dream!)

On a Swedish chainsaw:

"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (OMG! You saved my life there!!)


1. Don't make me get out my flying monkeys

2.Chaos, Panic& Disorder, my work here is done

3.Don't meddle in the affairs of dragons because in their world you are crunchy and go good with ketchup

5. Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional

6. I do whatever my rice crispies tell me

7. You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me

8.obedient women are never remembered in history

9. I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures

10. My mind wandered and never came back

11. Dear God save me from your "good people"

12. Don't stell the government hate competition

13. DO NOT start with me you will NOT win

14. God bless freaks

15. I know there is a hell... I work in retail

16. SARCASM a service I offer


FUN THINGS TO DO IN A ELEVATOR

1.When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2.Say "Ding" on every floor.

3.Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

4.Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.

6.Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

7.Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

8.Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

9.Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

10.Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

11.Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

12.Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

13.Ask, "Did you feel that?"

14.Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

15.When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

16.Swat at flies that don't exist.

17.Tell people that you can see their aura.

out, "Group Hug!" and then enforce it.

19.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

20.Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

21.Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

22.Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

23.Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

24.Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

25.Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

26.Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on."

27.Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

28. Tap a random person on the shoulder and ask if they've seen a black and red snake about this big (Spread your arms as wide as possible)

29. Stand in the middle of a crowded elevator and as soon as the doors close, with your hands behind your back ask, "I assume you all know why I've called you here."

30. Tap someone on the shoulder and ask, "did you dispose of the body?" And for added effect pretend to realize you're talking to the wrong person and say, "you never saw me."

31. As soon as the doors open grab the person entering and scream at them, "What year is it?! What year is it?!" And when they give you the year, act stunned, then run down the hall screaming, "I've done it!" (Like you've time-traveled)


Wisdom of Life - Quotable Quotes and Facts of Life

The quality of life is not determined by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away.

Attempting to give a damn . . . . . Unable to give a damn. Stopping . . . . Process failed. Damn not given.

I'm not so good at advice; may I interest you in a sarcastic reply?

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep.

WARNING: Do not follow in my footsteps. I tend to walk into walls and off cliffs.

Real girls aren't perfect, and perfect girls aren't real.

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have. (I don't have ADD, I have SAS: short attention span)

What hair color do they put down on the driver's licenses of a bald man?

I'm not littering . . . just donating to the Earth.

It's funny--the people who want quiet are always the loudest getting people to shut up.

I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you... you're just not laughing.

I used up all my sick days at work so I'm calling in dead.

Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home.

It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

My favorite word is sarcasm.

Please don't drop cigarette buds on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

If you want to look young and thin, hang around with old fat people.

If Wal-mart is lowering its prices every day, how come the store isn't free yet?

Sarcasm doesn't work on a sarcastic person.

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.' (if I HAD one . . .)

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

Screw fire and save matches!!

Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words.

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect to get it back!

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. . . if well-aimed.

One way to find out if something works: push all the buttons.

I hear your silence loud and clear.

According to the latest figures, 43% of all statistics are utterly worthless.

Don't steal. The government hates the competition.

If at first, you don't succeed, change the rules.

Tell the truth and run.

Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Friends come and go while enemies never do; they just multiply.

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat.

Generally, generalizations are wrong.

Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

If we knew what we were doing, there wouldn't be research.

Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts.

The Truth is out there. So what are you doing here?

Whatever you are, be a good one.

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

We are the people our parents warned us about.

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.

The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for.

Belief gets in the way of learning.

If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done?

When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.

Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead.

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years.

We don't live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we perceive reality.

If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire.

A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic.

Have the courage to live. Anyone can die.

Education is important. School, however, is another matter.

When a finger points at the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months.

Cynics are made, not born.

What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it?. . . Next week.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

My mind works like lightning . . . . one brilliant flash and it's gone.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Don't underestimate the power of funny. It moves mountains.

Never say that! Never! Run before you walk! Fly before you crawl! Keep moving forward! Because if we fail, I'd rather fail really hugely. All or nothing!

Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them more.

If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Growing old is mandatory . . . growing UP is optional . . .

When I'm stressed, I laugh. When I'm happy, I laugh. When I'm nervous, I laugh. If I find something funny, I can't stop laughing.

If you find any poisonous plants in your tea, just to let you know, it wasn't me.

Don't pop my bubbles. I'll get depressed.

Anatidaephobia: the fear that somehow, somewhere, a duck is watching you.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

You cry I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

If your heart was really broken . . . you'd be dead so shut up.

People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled "Bang", I don't think you'd kill too many people.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band-Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, but Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous.

They laugh because we're losers . . . . We laugh because they just figured it out.

The 50-50-90 rule: any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

The voices may not be real, but they have some pretty good ideas.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.

Why be difficult, when, with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium. My work here is done.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Newsflash, Honey, I don't live to please you.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps: fun to watch but not too bright.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I believe you should live each day as if it were your last, which is why I don't do my laundry. I mean, come on, who would wanna wash clothes on the last day of their life?

Silence is golden . . . duct tape is silver.

When life gives you lemons . . .
make grape juice, and watch the world wonder how you did it. (OR)
squirt 'em in peoples' eyes!

Be insane- well-behaved people never made history.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you're the world.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and was too stubborn to ask for directions.

It's always in the last place you look . . . of course it is, why would I keep looking for it?

Happiness is just around the corner! . . . Too bad the world is round . . .

I'm not random . . .
I just have many thou- OH, A SQUIRREL!! (OR)
you just can't think as fast as me.

I can only please one person a day. Today's not your day, and tomorrow's not looking good either.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!

If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that thing up in two seconds. When I play Rock, Paper, Scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready-made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you *!"

Rock beats paper. Always. But since we live in a world where paper may beat rock, use Cannonball; it makes a big hole in the paper.

I hate it when people say there is no such thing as normal. There IS such thing, as normal means average, what is considered to be most common. Normal. Of course, I'm not normal at all so I have no idea what I'm on about. If you want to learn how to explode things, crush things, cause things harm, or whatever random things you need, I'm your girl. If you want to know about anything that you will actually USE in life, go somewhere else.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it . . .

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!

He said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.
She said: You wear pants, don't you?

"Sir, we're surrounded!"
"Excellent, we can attack in any direction!"

Maybe this world is another planet's hell.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.

You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Haikus are random
They never make any sense
Refrigerator


A Percy Jackson Acronym

Perseus Jackson. Savior of Olympus.

Electricity. That's what will shock you if you mess with Thalia Grace.

Riptide. Percy's lethal ballpoint pen.

Clarisse. That's who will go after you if you beat her in a battle. (And you don't want an angry Clarisse. It's bad enough when she's not angry.)

Yellow duffle bags. Helped Percy, Tyson, and Annabeth.

Jason Grace. Thalia's "lost" little brother.

Annabeth Chase. Percy's girlfriend and official architect of Olympus.

Chiron. Trainer of heroes.

Kaleidoscope. What Piper's eyes look like to Jason.

Son of Neptune. The book we can't wait for.

Olympus. Home of the gods.

Nemesis. Ethan's mother. Don't worry, she's getting her revenge on his death.

Atlas. Zoe's father.

Never back down. The phrase that reminds me of TLO.

Dionysus. The god of wine. (More like the god of Diet Coke.)

Thalia Grace. Hunter of Artemis and daughter of Zeus.

Hephaestus. The father of our favorite fire boy. ;)

Empathy link. What Grover and Percy have. Saved Grover's life a couple of times.

Octavian. Camp Jupiter's royal a-hole.

Lupa. The she-wolf we all want to know about.

Morpheus. The gods of dreams. Put NYC asleep during TLO.

Persephone. The kidnapped wife of Hades. Believes every hero is brave and wants to give them a chance.

Iapetus. Percy's Titan friend is called Bob!

Artemis. Goddess of the Hunt. Has hunters, including Thalia.

Nothing lasts forever. Even the gods.

Switched. Percy and Jason are switched. Jason at CHB, Percy at Camp Jupiter.


Have you ever wondered:

Why the sun lightens our hair but darkens our skin...

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish-washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when

they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe,

why do they call the airport the terminal?


Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.

this is this cat

this is is cat

this is how cat

this is to cat

this is keep cat

this is a cat

this is retard cat

this is busy cat

this is for cat

this is forty cat

this is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on


ONLY IN AMERICA

1. Only in
America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places
in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores
make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the
front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave
both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in
America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put
our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use
answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't
miss a
call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to
describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics'
meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America...do they have
drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.


THIS ONE'S FOR THE GIRLS

I'm sick of backstabbing girls who say that they're your friends. I'm tired of people who talk bad about me behind my back, but in reality, they're just as bad. I'm tired of girls who seem to think that makeup defines our entire lives. I'm tired of my so-called best friend always going behind my back, putting everyone down, and just being an all-around "five-minute girl" that no one wants to be around. I'm sick and tired of the boys that fall for these crazy, dumb, FAKE girls that are so fake that Barbie herself is jealous. I'm sick and tired of all of it- Me

“Here’s to the girls: That keep a smile even though they’re going through hell. That keeps their head high, even though they’d rather be elsewhere. That gives amazing advice but can’t seem to follow it themselves. That can make anyone laugh, but herself. Here’s to her.”

“This is for the girls who don’t always win. The girls who stay up all night listening to music that inspires them. The girls that laugh, smile, cry, and think all on a daily basis. The girls who live, learn and regret. The girls who may never have it easy. The girls who learn the hard way to live and tell about it. The real girls.”

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace or talking to a boyfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do anymore, who loves and is obsessed with Percy Jackson and Maximum Ride, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle. Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom, PercyJackson-PeetaM-Fang-Fan11, xXxDaughteroftheKingxXx, AwesomePossum328, Steampunk Slytherin,

"Girl, you're amazing, just the way you are."- Bruno Mars

“One day you’re gonna want her. That girl that knew she wasn’t perfect, but tried to be for you. That girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you, and loving you was the only way she could. The girl who sees your flaws, but values them as much as your strengths. That girl who still can’t bring herself to hate you, even though sometimes you probably deserve it. The girl that should have you, but doesn’t.”

Boys are like purses; Cute, full of crap, and can always be replaced.

Boys are like snuggies. They're stupid, but we all want one.

"A heart is not a plaything,

a heart is not a toy,

but if you want it broken,

Just give it to a boy.

Boys like to play with things

To see what makes them run,

But when it comes to kissing,

They do it just for fun.

Boys never give their hearts away

They play us girls for fools,

They wait until we give our hearts

And then they play it cool.

You will wonder where he is a night

You will wonder if he's true,

One moment you will be happy,

One moment you will be blue.

If you get a chance to see him

Your heart begins to dance

Your life revolves around him,

There's nothing like romance.

And then it starts to happen,

You worry day and night

You see, my friend, you're losing him

It never turns outright.

Boys are great, though immature

The price you pay is high,

He may seem sweet and gorgeous

But remember, he's a guy.

Don't fall in love with just a boy

That takes a lot of nerve.

You see, my friend, you need a man

To get what you deserve.

So when you think that you're in love,

Be careful if you can

Before you give your heart away

Make sure that he's a man."

To guys, girls are like video games, they go up to the next level with a girl. Then the next, then the next, and once they get bored of playing, they quit.

Behind every successful man, is a woman doing all the work.

God created man before woman because you always need a rough draft!

Boys are like computers. Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Boys are like mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Boys are like lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Q: What makes men chase after women they have no intention of marrying?

A: The same urge that makes dogs chase after cars they have no intention of driving.

Every girl has three guys in her life. The one she hates, the one she loves, and the one she can't live without. And in the end, they're all the same guy.

Boys are like stars, there are millions of them out there, but only one can make your dreams come true.

Never let your man’s mind wander – it’s too little to be out on its own.

The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said,
“I’ve found a man just like father!”.

Her mother replied,
“So what do you want from me, sympathy?”

"Love is like Tug-of-war, one jerk after another."

"Mr. Right's coming.. but he's in Africa and he's walking!" -Oprah


The Kane Chronicles Pledge:

I promise to remember Carter

When I travel far away

I promise to remember Sadie

When I have something sarcastic to say

I promise to remember Desjardins

When someone doesn't fight fair

I promise to remember Amos

When someone has beads in their hair

I promise to remember Iskandar

When I see someone very old

I promise to remember Bast

When I see a cat's eyes that are gold

I promise to remember Horus

When I see a beautiful bird

I promise to remember Isis

Whenever strange voices are heard

I promise to remember Set

When someone is clever and sly

I promise to remember Anubis

When a cute boy catches my eye

I promise to remember Zia

When I see someone working magic

I promise to remember Julius Kane

When someone's life is tragic

I promise to remember Ruby Kane

When someone I love is gone

And whenever I read The Red Pyramid

I'll always remember this song.


RANDOM CRAZY SAYINGS

"This is Bob. Bob likes you. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob."

"Here is all you need to know about men and women. Men are dumb and women are crazy. And the reason women are crazy is that men are dumb."

"Oh? Rock beats paper? Okay, you try defending yourself with paper when I throw a rock at you."

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing."

"Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up."

"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people."

"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'"

"You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?"

"If you can't convince them, confuse them."

"Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs."

"A criminal will stab you in the front. A friend will stab you in the back. A boyfriend will stab you in the heart. But only best friends poke each other with straws."

"Isn’t it funny how the word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’?"

"I ran with scissors, and lived!"

"Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?"

"Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot."

"I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!"

"I did what they say and chose the road less traveled...Now where the heck am I?"

"Someday, my prince will come. He just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions."

"Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that."

"Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised that we lied about the cookies?
Come to the light side. We have ICE CREAM!
Welcome to the light side. Heh, sorry, we're out of ice cream."

"Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... 'Nuff said."

"Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL,

Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART,

Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG,

Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY,

Calling me POOR won't make you RICH,

Calling me FAT won't make you THIN,

Calling me UNCOOL won't make you COOL,

So why bother?"

"If nothing is going right... GO LEFT! :)"


Important Things I Learned From Rick Riordan

Even cat goddesses like growling at birds.

Underwater kisses are way better than normal ones.

The five elements are earth, air, fire, water, and cheese.

Children of rival gods can fall in love. (AWWWWW!!!! XD)

No one really knows why the Egyptians wrote without vowels.

Nemean lions can be defeated with freeze-dried ice cream.

Eating fruit bats is bad for your health.

Contrary to popular belief, hellhounds can be domesticated.

The Set animal does not appreciate being named Leroy.

Yes, that twelve-year-old wearing a silver jacket is a goddess.

Jackal headed gods can be very attractive. (VERY, VERY Attractive!)

Math teachers really are evil.

Set's secret name is Evil Day. (Use this to your advantage...)

It's not easy to insult a daughter of Athena.

Elvis was a magician. No, really.

Do not trust the bald man who wants to sell you a water bed.

Hieroglyphics are fun to read.

A god of toilet paper can actually be really cool.

Demons will give you free samples if you ask nicely.

If you hear a voice in your head, you're not crazy - you just have an uber-powerful god living inside you.

Burritos are deadly projectiles.


You know you're a book addict if...

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. (Absolutely!)

Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. (All the time...)

You write fanfictions about the book. (Well... duh.)

You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read your favorite books. (Yeah! ALL THE TIME)

You accidentally call everyone by the character's names. (Hey, how are you doing Voldemort? Oops! Sorry, Boss!)

Everything reminds you of the book. (*rubs neck sheepishly* What?? No, course not...)

You quote random lines all the time. (Me: "And that was pretty much the best underwater kiss of all time." Friend: "Uh. We're in Spanish class...")

You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. (Nearly burnt my hand once trying to fire bend...)

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class. (What? Absolutely not! Well... fine... just don't tell anyone...)

You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod. (What'd'ya think my background was?)

You've got a book memorized. (Er, sorta, kinda, yes.)

You've read a book more than five times. (How do you think I got it memorized?)

You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days. (My record is two hours.)

You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like. (Egad! You've discovered me!)

You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend. (No. I wouldn't do that to Annabeth, no matter how hot Percy is! But I would murder Bella, and then ditch Edward...)

You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional. (Uh. Because they're not!)

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional. (Sometimes...)

Your idol is a character from a book. (What can I say?... "With great power, comes great need to take a nap...")


The 9 Commandments of a Teenager

1)Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long?)

2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)

3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)

4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)

5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows Grandma has more money)

6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Catfight anyhow...just start them.)

7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)

8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)

9) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave 'em in the middle)


Rearranging The Letters ;)

DORMITORY:

When you rearrange the letters:

DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:

When you rearrange the letters:

BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:

When you rearrange the letters:

MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:

A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:

When you rearrange the letters:

THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:

When you rearrange the letters:

HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:

When you rearrange the letters:

HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:

When you rearrange the letters:

CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:

When you rearrange the letters:

IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:

When you rearrange the letters:

LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:

When you rearrange the letters:

ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:

When you rearrange the letters:

IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:

When you rearrange the letters:

THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:

When you rearrange the letters:

TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:

When you rearrange the letters:

WOMEN HITLER


ONE DAY I SHALL:

Be a queen in Narnia

study at Hogwarts

Go to Camp Half-Blood

Sail the Black Pearl

Visit the elves from Lord of the rings

Fly with Peter Pan

Create a world like in Inception

And finally, find love like in Titanic


FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), ChiyoChiyamamoto (USA), Crazy-Monkey13 (USA) Mittensx7768 (USA), Darkness Incarnated (USA), monkeygirl77 (USA), Secret (Scotland UK), dragonswoe (England), just a tad bit insane(USA), WritingGoddess12 (USA), Olympus Angel (England), 2Fashionista (USA), Steampunk Slytherin (USA),


A/N- Ahhhh, so you have finally made it to the bottom! I was wondering when you were gonna arrive! You took forever! I hope my profile did not offend you in any way, because that was just for fun and it took me forever to do it. How many times did y'all laugh throughout reading my profile?

-Steampunk Slytherin :)


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