Hi, I made this account purely for the reason of getting updates on my favorite fics so I won't be posting anything.
I have however read the profiles of other people and often found them very funny so I thought I'd post some of my favorite quotes here(this is technically stealing ideas from other writers so if someone complains that I'm stealing their ideas I will gladly take them of but I'm just doing this to spread them around so more can appreciate the hilarity):
This particular quote came from Reflections Through Time by Perfect Lionheart
"You know one of the saddest things in fiction? I don't restrict this to HP stories, but all fanfiction. It's when an author comes up with a wonderful idea, an absolutely beautiful 'what if' scenario that really fires the imagination and excites you with opportunities, but the author is such a slave to the original material that they swear outright to make sure to follow canon to the last detail - in essence making sure that their previously wonderful idea has no effect on the storyline at all.
Why are they even writing?
What's the point of writing 'fanfiction' that's just another rewrite of the source material? If you aren't going to change anything, don't bother writing! If every mystery, every quest or personal relationship is going to come out exactly the same as the source did, what are you wasting all our time for? We could just go back and reread the originals if that's what we wanted. Fanfiction is a venue for stuff that turns out differently than the original, explores new territory and makes up new problems to solve, or solves old ones in new ways.
It exists to do what the original author did not do, but could have. Anything else is a waste of the venue."
This one comes from Wanderer by Chibi-Reaper
"And so." The King declared somberly. "Should you succede in this noblest of quests, then upon your return, I shall allow that you be wed to any of my sons that you so choose."
Ranma tried, really she did, to just politely decline and request money or something more useful instead, but somewhere along the path between her mind and her mouth, the words had warped and twisted to become unrecognizable.
"That's nice, and all, but I don't suppose you could let me have your daughter there instead? She looks a tasty treat. Mrowr."
"... Kill the monster, then we'll talk."
It was quite difficult to tell whether the princes or princesses looked more scandalized and upset, and who they were moreso with.
Murphy was an optimist.
it's quality verses quantity, but quantity has a quality all its own.
The road to Hell is ordered by the righteous, planned by the well-meaning, and paved with their good intentions
Two wrongs don't make a right, but seven lefts do.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but to Wrights make an airplane.
The words “that’s impossible” are the surest sign that your plan is the right one. No one ever tries to prevent the impossible so it’s often the easiest way to get things done.
The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.
"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell cant paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that paper up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say "oh shit , I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, asshole."
Always proofread your sentences carefully to see if you any words out.
The road to hell is ordered by the righteous, planned by the well-meaning, and paved with their good intentions.
Always be who you are. Those who matter don't care and those who care don't matter.
If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.
I heard someone say that good judgement comes from experience. The problem is I heard the exact same person say that experience comes from bad judgement.
Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity.
What if this weren't a hypothetical question?
(this question can be used on people lacking intelligence, to keep them away from you for a few days)
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice quite adequately.
Anyone who uses the phrase 'easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried taking candy from a baby.
We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.
I refuse to go into a battle of wits with an unarmed adversary.
The word "politics" is derived from the word "poly" which means "many" and the word "ticks" which means "blood sucking parasites".
A good friend won’t give away your hiding place during hide-and-seek. A great friend won’t give away the place you hid the bodies during a police raid.
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Psychology. Mind over matter. Mind under matter? It doesn't matter. Never mind.
Don't upset me. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Forgive your enemies but never ever forget their names.
The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. They don't just borrow words; on occasion English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.
People say I've lost my mind. I haven't - I saved it on a back-up disk!...Somewhere
... in this country... continent... I'm reasonably certain that it's at least on this planet
The difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.
Heaven won't take me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over.
I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
When life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice in the eyes of your enemies.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then, sit back and watch the whole world wonder how the hell you did THAT.
When life gives you lemons, read them and drool.
Smile, it confuses people.
Keep smiling. It makes people wonder what you're up to.
When someone annoys you, remember, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to flip them the bird.
When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
Stress - The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living shit out of some asshole who desperately deserves it.
A good friend will keep your secrets when you ask them too. A true friend will keep their mouths shut without you asking them.
The most useless error message ever: INVALID SYSTEM DISK: NO KEYBOARD CONNECTED: (A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore?
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Hooligan: So I tell the swamp donkey to sock it before I give her a trunky in the tradesman's entrance and have her lick me yarbles!
Cooper: Wow. You guys are on a completely different level of swearing here.
- Bold all of the following TV shows which you've ever seen 3 or more episodes of in your lifetime.
- Italicize a show if you're positive you've seen every episode of it.
24 7th Heaven ALF Alias American Gothic America's Next Top Model Angel Arrested Development
Babylon 5 Batman: The Animated Series Battlestar Galactica (the old one) Battlestar Galactica (the new one) Baywatch
Beverly Hills 90210 Bewitched Bonanza Bones Bosom Buddies Boston Legal Boy Meets World Brothers And Sisters Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Californication Chappelle's Show Charlie's Angels Charmed Cheers Chuck Clarissa Explains it All Columbo Commander in Chief
Criminal Minds Crossing Jordan CSI CSI: Miami CSI: NY Curb Your Enthusiasm
Dark Angel Dark Skies DaVinci's Inquest Dawson's Creek Dead Like Me Deadwood Degrassi: The Next Generation Designing Women
Desperate Housewives Dexter Dharma & Greg Different Strokes Doctor Who Dragnet Due South
ER Everwood Everybody Loves Raymond Facts of Life Family Guy Farscape Fawlty Towers Felicity Firefly Frasier Friends Fringe Futurama
Get Smart Gilligan's Island Gilmore Girls Gossip Girl Grey's Anatomy Grange Hill Growing Pains Gunsmoke Happy Days Hell's Kitchen Hercules: the Legendary Journeys Heroes Home Improvement Homicide: Life on the Street House
I Dream of Jeannie I Love Lucy Invader Zim Invasion JAG Jackass Joey Kim Possible Knight Rider Knight Rider: 2008 Kung Fu Kung Fu: The Legend Continues
La Femme Nikita LA Law Laverne and Shirley Law and Order: SVU Leverage Little House on the Prairie Lizzie McGuire Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Lost Lost in Space
MASH MacGyver Malcolm in the Middle Married... With Children McLeods Daughters Melrose Place Miami Vice Mission: Impossible Mod Squad
Monk Mork & Mindy Murphy Brown My Life As A Dog My Three Sons My Two Dads Mythbusters
NCIS Ned Bigby's Declassified School Survival Guide Nip/Tuck Numb3rs Once Upon a Time One Tree Hill Oz
Perry Mason Power Rangers Press Gang Pretty Little Liars Prison Break Private Practice Privileged Profiler Project Runway Psych Pushing Daisies
Quantum Leap Queer As Folk (US) Queer as Folk (UK)
ReGenesis Remington Steele Rescue Me Road Rules ROME Roseanne Roswell
Sanctuary Scooby-Doo, Where Are You? Scrubs Seaquest DSV Seinfeld Sex and the City Six Feet Under Slings and Arrows Smallville So Weird South of Nowhere South Park Spongebob Squarepants Star Trek Star Trek: The Next Generation Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Star Trek: Voyager Star Trek: Enterprise Stargate Atlantis Stargate SG-1 Starsky & Hutch Superman Supernatural Surface Survivor
Taxi Teen Titans That 70's Show That's So Raven The 4400 The Addams Family The Amazing Race The Andy Griffith Show The A-Team
The Avengers The Beverly Hillbillies The Brady Bunch The Cosby Show The Daily Show The Dead Zone The Dick Van Dyke Show
The Flintstones The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air The Golden Girls The Honeymooners The Jeffersons The Jetsons The L Word The Love Boat
The Magnificent Seven The Mary Tyler Moore Show The Monkees The Munsters The Office (US) The Powerpuff Girls The Pretender
The Real World The Shield The Simpsons The Six Million Dollar Man The Sopranos The Suite Life of Zack and Cody The Twilight Zone
The Waltons The West Wing The Wonder Years The X-Files Third Watch Three's Company Twin Peaks Twitch City
Unfabulous Ugly Betty Veronica Mars Weeds Whose Line is it Anyway? (US) Whose Line is it Anyway? (UK) Will and Grace Wings Xena: Warrior Princess.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile
Copy the bunny to your profile to help him achieve world domination.
I made him a sword to speed things up.