"Journalism allows its readers to witness history; fiction give its readers an opportunity to live it" -- John Hersey
Huge fan of Mariska Hargitay, Law and order SVU, One Tree Hill, Grey's Anatomy, Twilight a little bit of Glee also.
-love reading fanfics. Don't write them, thats why I give a lot of credit to the authors that write stories that i enjoy reading.
"Those of us, we have been true readers all our life fully realize the enormous extension of out being which we owe to author's"
Law & Order: SVU. One Tree Hill . NCIS. JAG. Grey's Anatomy. .Big Brother.
THE STORY OF JACK SCH!TT
Jack: It's pronounced "sh!t", don't get it wrong.
Who is Jack Sch!tt, you ask? The lineage is finally revealed! Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Sch!tt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation!
Jack is the only son of Awe Sc!htt and O Sch!tt. Awe Sch!tt, the fertilizer magnate, married O Sch!tt, the owner of Kneedeep N. Sch!tt, Inc. In turn, Jack married Noe Sch!tt, and the deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Sch!tt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Sch!tt, Bull Sch!tt, and the twins, Deep Sch!tt and Dip Sch!tt. Against her parents' wishes, Deep Sch!t married Dumb Sch!tt, a high school dropout. After being married for 15 years, Jack and Noe divorced.
Noe Sch!tt later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then know as Noe Sch!tt-Sherlock. Dip Sch!tt married Loda Sch!tt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Sch!tt.
Fulla Sch!tt and Giva Sch!tt were inseparable throughout their childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the "Sch!tt-Happens" wedding. The children of the Sch!tt-Happens are Dawg, Byrd and Horse. Bull Sch!tt, the prodigal son, left the home to tour the world, and recently returned from Italy with his new bride, Pisa Sch!tt.
So now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Sch!tt!", you can correct them.
Things I Hate About Everyone:
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?
5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor
6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, it can't be new.
8 When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was
BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism
We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.