Obligatory "Welcome to my profile!"
Stories are one thing, but profiles are another! I am middling-level author who enjoys writing stories for various fantasy and science fiction universes. My true enjoyment comes from crossovers, which present me with the challenge of marrying two different worlds, and/or the characters in those worlds together in a cohesive and fluid story that both functions narratively and flows well; that is my favorite kind of challenge, and its why most of my stories are crossovers.
Feel free to take a peak at my literary wares down below, O weary traveler!
ADDITIONAL STORY IDEAS (Old)
Below I've listed a couple of stories that I've been tossing around in my brain for a while. Sadly while I'd like to do all of them, I can't so I'm leaving it up to you guys to choose which one you want to see! If you're curious about one of them but want more information, feel free to send me a PM; I'm always happy to talk to my fans :D !
Kamui was a powerful technique, but as powerful as it was, it was never meant to be used against itself. The combined force of the two dimensional rifts clashing results in Naruto, Sasuke, Kabuto, Tobi, Kakashi, and the rest of the Konoha 11 to an alternate universe where they meet themselves... but something is strange about their alternate selves... Their gender is reversed!
Naruto/The Old Republic cross-over
The Shinobi Alliance failed; they lost. Madara consumed the Juubi and activated the Mugen Tsukuyomi. Many millennium later, an ambitious Sith Lord, Darth Nox follows a lead regarding a powerful Rakatan artifact to a strange, uninhabited planet, called Earth.
Ninja Art Online:
Naruto/Sword Art Online cross-over
In the resulting clash between Obito and Kakashi's Kamui, many Shinobi are sent to another world... in another universe. Two years later, a revolutionary virtual reality game is released, and many of the Shinobi are unknowingly given a copy of it. Little do they know the sinister plan behind its creation, nor the alternate plans one of the game's main programmers has for the game itself...
And more to come (when I think of them)!
The Situation in Hell
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
Common misconceptions about Naruto Fanfiction:
1. All enemy ninja are perverts who only want to rape the female Naruto cast.
2. Haku and Zabuza are pushovers.
3. Orochimaru is a pedophile and also a pushover.
4. The Third Hokage is a deceitful old man.
5. Kiba is a perv who wants in Hinata's pants.
6. Kiba is a boastful jerk who is ignorant of his surroundings.
7. Kakashi favors Sasuke over Naruto.
8. Sasuke is a pedophiliac for going to Orochimaru.
9. Suigetsu doesn't exist.
10. Karin is worth only to be used as a sex slave for Naruto.
11. Karin is an Uzumaki (Wow, she actualy is o.O).
12. Juugo doesn't exist, and if he does, he is a pushover.
13. Konoha ninja never die, even if against 10-1 odds, even if they are a nameless shinobi.
14. Temari has a crush on Naruto.
15. Gaara would kill anyone who tries to date Temari.
16. Sasuke could never have a REAL brotherly relationship with Naruto.
17. The Uchiha are pushovers.
18. The Sharingan is a pushover skill, and has no real use outside of being a neat, genetic contact.
19. Naruto only uses elemental jutsu if they're combined with another element (i.e. Kekkei Genkai).
20. Naruto can develop Kekkei Genkai through training.
21. Being part of the Uzumaki clan gives Naruto anywhere from one to a dozen Kekkei Genkai abilities free of charge.
22. The Uzumaki clan is realy hiding in secret.
23. Kabuto is underrated.
24. Hidan doesn't swear enough.
25. Nobody takes off their shoes when going into a house.
26. Kakashi can use Raikiri/Chidori limitlessly.
27. It doesn't require chakra to activate, and keep active any and all doujutsu.
28. Naruto doesn't flip people off. He'll swear at them like a sailor, but never flip them off.
29. Sasuke wants all techniques from other clans, using his bloated ego to get them. In truth, if his ego was really that big, he wouldn't even consider them worth learning.
30. Sakura is never a good enough fangirl.
31. No on gets pregnant. No one.
32. All main characters (non-villans) are unkillable.
33. The Konoha council consists of hundreds of people, both civilian and Shinobi, including all the clan heads.
34. The title "clan head" can be used infinitely without pissing readers off due to repetition.
35. Homura and Koharu never get their just desserts.
36. Tsunade doesn't say brat/gaki enough.
37. Using the word "dobe" is in no way obnoxious.
38. TenTen is hotter.
39. Ino is hotter.
40. Madara (Tobi) has a bloated ego.
41. Bloated egos are a genetic trait found in all Uchiha and occasionally in certain Hyuuga. Possibly related to the Sharingan and Byakugan respectively.
42. Female Sharingan and Byakugan users lack this omnipresent gene.
43. Rinnegan users also have lesser/greater traits of this "B-E" gene, but is commonly overlooked and/or accepted as normal by readers, depending on the lineage.
--First Corollary: If the Rinnegan user is Naruto, he is "bad ass." If the Rinnegan user is Uchiha Madara, he is "over powered." If the user is Nagato, he is "normal."
44. Black people (Kumogakure ninja) are part of a clan. Ironic?
45. Uchiha renegades (those who forsake other Uchiha who posses the B-E gene) without fail refuse to use their Sharingan.
46. "Fenikisu/Phoenix" is an acceptable alternate clan name for Uchiha.
47. Sakura never loses he voice, despite her incessant screeching.
48. Sasuke is a bad guy because he betrayed Naruto in search of power. Admit it, If you had a friend like Canon Naruto, you'd leave too.
49. The six other swords of the Seven Swordsmen (excluding Kubikiribocho) do not exist in alternate universes and timelines (ie. Crossovers).
50. Samehada is not adorable.
51. Mangetsu doesn't exist.
52. Ichiraku Teuchi is a former ANBU.
53. Iwagakure holds insane grudges.
54. Seduction had no real power.
--First Corollary: If the target of seduction is a young, hormonal teen, it is ineffective.
--Second Corollary: If the target is a seasoned, veteran killer, it is super effective.
55. Shunshin is slower than Shunpo.
56. Reiryoku is more powerful than Chakra.
57. In a villain vs. villain fight, the winner is based on OOC popularity, and not on actual skill or abilities, as they are irrelevant. If it is a tie, both villains undoubtedly die.
58. Shizune has no real skill other than healing, unless it is versus a major villain. In most cases the villain will lose, unless his popularity level is high enough for him to escape.
59. The second Hokage doesn't exist.
60. Yoai is a perfect method to get more readers.
61. Boruto is a cool name.
62. Fugaku has a personality.
63. Hiashi has a personality.
63.5. Hiashi has too much personality.
64. Any time an adult doesn't like what Naruto says, they yell. Only yell.
65. Authors only have a limited vocabulary of Naruto-related insults
--Monster, demon, thing, creature, abomination, brat, etc. Seriously folks, get a dictionary.
66. One-shot-ing opponents because Naruto can makes for an interesting story-line.
67. Keeping Naruto from one-shot-ing people by making him stupidly forgetful makes an interesting character development. This isn't DBZ, and Naruto isn't Goku.
--First Corollary: If this is a DBZ crossover and Naruto is raised by Goku, this is excusable.
68. Genjutsu do nothing to Shinigami.
69. Never used as a position in sex scenes.
70. When learning a new technique, words of love and encouragement are better than training.
71. Griffith did nothing wrong.
72. Disregard rule 71.