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Swordude PM
Biography
Joined Nov '08

Contacts:

My email: http:///

Age:

Yes

Interests: Stuff

Quotes that I found to be slightly smile-inducing:

C:/dos

C:/dos/run

run:/dos/run

"When all you have is a hammer, everything begins to look like a nail." — Abraham Maslow

"Never argue with an idiot, they'll bring you to their level then beat you with experience." — No Clue

"If you make something idiot-proof, they'll make a better idiot." — Hell if I know

Swordude's Helpful guide to making YOUR stories better (Yes, even yours):

For the love of God: Stop "cutetizing" Words! By this I mean taking real, normal words and fking them up.

Examples: Chapter (from Late Latin capitulum) into "Chappy" (ugh.), Cliffhanger (First used in 1873) in to shiver "Cliffy"

-Helpful solution: Just. Stop. It's not cute and It demeans yourself (i.e. It makes people not take you seriously)

Use punctuation! It Always helps us readers know what the hell is going on

-Helpful Solution: Use a program that can spell-check for you. Wow! Isn't technology grand?

Spell-check! If you can't us Readers will often times ignore the ever-loving crap outta what ever you write.

-Helpful Solution: See the above helpful solution

Indent! If you don't your readers will lose their eyes! And we don't want that do we? After all who else would read your stuff?

-Helpful Solution: Get a word program. You know... LIKE THE ONE FANFICTION.NET HAS A LINK TO ON IT'S OPENING PAGE?

Use words, not numbers or symbols! Using numbers breaks the illusion of reality. Real people don't speak 2 u like this.

-Helpful Solution: Think! If you had a speech bubble over your head would it have words, or numbers and symbols likes this (#%) in it?

Hidden Exception: For years it's okay to do numbers. Also: I believe that hates the percent symbol and deletes it, but I'm not positive.

Get Creative! How boring is it to read something like: "They played a PS3"? Make something up!

-Helpful Solution: Use your imagination instead of PS3 why not: The Awesomesplodbox 3000?

Create A Background: Explain why something works the way it does. It always makes me happy when an author creates fantastic explainations

-Helpful Solution: Make Crap up. If you explain it in enough detail it's probably believable.

Don't Apologize in your summary! I'd say this one is pretty self-explanatory.

-Helpful Solution: To summarize all you have to do it take the first main idea of the story and put it in a single sentence.

A helpful song courtesy of Strong Bad:

Ohhhh, if you're spelling a possessive, it's just I-T-S--

But if you're spelling a contraction, it's I-T-Apostrophe-S--

...Scalawag!

Ok, there are better ways to start a sentence than with a character's name! I've seen it all the time, It ends up looking really bad when a whole story looks like this:

Name 1 said " "

Name 2 spoke " "

Name 1 said " "

Name 2 yelled " "

or worse:

Name 1:

Name 2:

Name 1:

Name 2:

-Helpful solution: Words can go before AND after a character's name, split up a sentence and use half before and half after.

Awesome Addition: The English language has over a hundred different ways to say "said" each with a specific use, live a little use a new one sometime.

Dafaq is up with these things:
"Word" - People talking

"Word" -People Thinking

"Word" -People singing or some crap like that

etc.

I think most readers can figure out what is going on from context, and if they can't then you, as an author, have failed in your writing in this regard. I'm not saying not to use different means of font to establish different patterns of speaking, not at all. What I am saying is that you need to give the readers credit. At least some, I don't think I've ever referred to one of those things because I thought 'Huh, I wonder how what this line being bold and underlined means... I wish I had a handy guide to check to find out."
That and the whole BIG BOLDED SPEECH FOR A CHARACTER THAT SPEAKS QUITE A BIT thing gets old fast.

That got more rant-ish than I wanted.

More of Swordude's Helpful guide to making YOUR stories better (Yes, even yours) will be added later.

I have this thing against stories that just arbitrarily add in Bleach elements, like suddenly Zanpakto or whatever. I've never read a good story that had it and wasn't also a direct cross over. It's got to the point that I just quit reading when I see it.

67.52% of percentages are made up on the spot. If you hate these things don't re-post this, just chuckle and move on.

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