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Regina lacrimarum PM
Joined Dec '08

I mostly read Harry Potter, Bones, the Mentalist, and House, M.D., although sometimes I look at Star Wars or Terry Pratchett.

I mostly read romance and humor. I'm not big on angst (Ironically, many of my stories seem to contain traces of it.). Parodies are good only if they're very clever or very subtle. Anyone can make up a really stupid story and call it a parody.

I write slowy. I have not abandoned any story unless I so indicate, but it may be a while before I update. Sorry about that.

The thing most likely to throw me off a story is bad grammar/spelling/usage. There is a spell check. The site guidelines even say that spell checking is your responsibility. If I make an error regarding grammar/spelling/usage, I want to be corrected. I will thank you for correcting me, as long as it's done respectfully. However, if you're not sure, don't bother, since the only thing that bugs me more than incorrect grammar in my writing is when people condescendingly correct me and then turn out to be wrong.
If I am guilty of a Mary-Sue or very OOC people, tell me so I can fix it, since the idea makes me cringe.
If my plot is unclear or totally unbelievable and it is not a drabble, please tell me.
If anything is wrong with my story, please just tell me. I will try the best I can to fix it if I think the criticism is valid.
There is an exception to this. If my story just doesn't suit your personal taste (e.g. it's slash and that offends you), I don't want to hear it.
Regarding others' stories, I myself will follow these guidelines to the best of my ability.

My Stories

Completed Works


Home- Zack found a home at the Jeffersonian.

Harry Potter

A Nod and a Smile- An Angelina/Blaise one-shot based on a challenge.
Balm- Ten short chapters in Hermione's relationship with Ginny.
Brilliant- Snape sees Hermione as "brilliant but delusional." Written for a challenge.
Cranes- Draco folds birds.
Golden-a Hermione/Narcissa oneshot written for a challenge.
Jealousy- Ron/Lavender oneshot. Short and sweet(ish).
Misunderstood- Harry/Ron drabble.
Neville- Hermione muses about her dead husband. Written for a challenge.
Paean to Eros- A series of Fleur/Hermione drabbles that form a story.
Precedence- a oneshot about Hermione and Mrs. Malfoy
The Curious Incident of the Dream in the Nighttime- HPHG drabble.

Works in Progress
Life Experiences- A challenge fic. 100 oneshots based on different verbs. If you (understandably) don't wish to read all of them, I recommend Chapters 2 (Cry), 7 (Scream), and 9 (Giggle).
The List- A desperate Draco tries to clean up his act. Hermione plots.
On the Origin of Emotions
- takes you through SSHG growth
Shades of Grey- A long and not very plausible Hermione Granger/Tom Riddle story that I started because of an idea in my head that wouldn't go away, and because there aren't enough of this pairing out there. Has become my baby, if I had a baby that I loved but neglected.
Things Past- Snape/Hermione romance based around the castle.

Favorite Quotes

"I was searching the Continent for the Deathly Hallows—you wouldn't know about those, of course, but they're a bit like Chocolate Frogs cards, except when you collect them all you get to become Master of Death." -from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Nurmengard by Eggo Waffles

"And she fell for him like her heart was a mob informant and he was the East River." -from the summary for The Nothing Fights by EmmandEnn

"'Right,' Bill repeated, eying the pictures of Fleur on his desk to remind himself that his wife was worth having a desk job. A desk job working alongside Hermione Granger, who firmly believed that taking shortcuts while doing paperwork was the fourth Unforgivable." -from Matchmaker by kalina-blue

(A parody of cliched DM/HP stories, describing Draco Malfoy's eyes) "Emerald locked with silver. Or mercury. Or lithium. Potassium. Magnesium. Calcium. Or any of the silver-coloured metals in the periodic table. You get your pick." -from When Emerald met Silver by Ihatenicknames

"Ron shook his head sadly. 'Poor bloke's lost it. You're paying for the medical facility.' Hermione rolled her eyes. 'That's not funny.' 'Oh, you're right. He's loaded. He can pay for it himself.' 'That's better.' Hermione looked back down at her book." -from How to Kill Harry Potter Easy Version by Smurfey

"Draco didn’t understand why all of his best-laid plans always had to go directly to hell. He at least would have liked to take the scenic route every once in a while. Was that really too much to ask?" -from Christmas Spirit by Tierfal

"In general, he preferred his mother, being that she never hit him, hadn’t encouraged him to destroy the world and never suggested the drinking of muggles' blood. He rather adored her for this." -from Hermione Malfoy by superscar

“'Now there’s no need to be alarmed!' Hagrid roared comfortingly, 'Kelpies’re only dangerous if you’re a bit stupid, see?'
'Your friends are dead,' Draco murmured to Hermione... Hermione...could think of nothing to say as a retort, as she rather suspected he had a point." -from Not Applicable by snappleducated

"As usual, Neville Longbottom had just slid down the last flight of stairs and was currently looking for his toad- again, Hermione Granger was yet consumed by an extremely large and boring volume which hid a tinier book within titled: How To Nab Your Sexy Potions Master, The Matured Yet Irresistible DADA Professor, or when all else fails, The Misunderstood Evil Blonde Guy, Harry Potter was going off again with Ron Weasley talking about how it’s so hard being the guy everybody loved and how he supposedly doesn’t want all the attention, Colin Creevy still looking like paper and right about ready to faint from being only ten seats away from his idol, and of course, and of course, Filch and Mrs. Norris practically hopping their way towards their seats after a suspicious ten minute long stay in one of the broom closets." -from WHEN MUGGLES ATTACK! by distorted prep queen

"Hermione was looking forward to dinner that night with as much enthusiasm as conversos must have looked forward to the Spanish Inquisition..." -from Heart Over Mind by Regann

"Severus Snape steeled himself for battle before apparating to Malfoy Manor a few days later. Lucius hadn't sent him a Howler. He'd sent him a dinner invitation, which was about twenty times worse." -from Bonds of Matrimony by gnrkrystle

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