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RamenKnight PM
Joined Jan '09

Update 1/30/13

Just cleaning it up some.

A little about me, I love great fanfiction and I am very opinionated about certain things. It you wish to see those I have posted just look in the next section down, that section also has some general ways to improve story's. I'm male, very curious, and get bored easily if not learning new things or getting better at something. This is seen in the fact that i get highly agitated after a certain amount of time without taking in information i didnt know before.

My favorite genres of fanfiction are, well, from my most favorite fics I would say transformers. Hmm...I blame a greater good-author to bad-author ratio there.

Don't read my story. Seriously, don't. It sucks. Its horrible. Save yourself from the pain. Only reason I still have it up is so people can search for me.

The Help

Somethings I have learned over the years of reading, a very small amount of writing that put thing into perspective, being a sounding board for my professional writer of a brother, and listing to the podcasts that my brother listen to of several prominent story tellers. I spend my time to put these here to help everyone's fanfic quality go up.

First off, in this one, its more my opinion than most of the others. Moving on. 'Fake Hero' A person, typically a man, who is admired for courage or noble qualities. That's right out of the dictionary. I've seen this a lot the part couple of years, thank to several stories that have these so called 'Fake Heros', and they have surprisingly spawned fanfiction. These are characters who ether A: jump into something that they think could be cool, and then immediately turn tail and run from any responsibility dangers(read:responsibilities) that it may have garnered for themselves. Therefore causing death, destruction, and generaly terrible things to happen because they are running from their responsibilities. Or B: Are forced into something for survival and then just keeping running to whatever will give them survival(more of the most comfortable survival) leaving needless death, destruction and generally terrible thing happening in their wake that could have been avoided or made a lot smaller if they had just been a little more selfless and helped. Both of these 'fake hero' types tend to avoid things that would inconvenience them or make them feel awkward. Then they turn around, have a moment of bravery (sometimes rather pitiful and could still be explained away easily by the above) and are made to be the hero. Right, selfishness, cowherd, dis-honorable(not honoring responsibilities), untrustworthy(being unable to be trusted with responsibilities) and not having a cause that they view as worth dying for. That's totally a hero. NOT!

As Dr. Martin Luther King said, if you haven't found something worth dying for, you aren't fit to be living. A hero must have something worth dying for besides himself, a hero must have courage in the face of fear. A hero must be trustworthy, selfless, and honorable. You should be able to give a hero responsibilities and they go, alright. I got this, and if I don't got this, ill make sure someone else does. He must be willing to turn around and face what he is terrified of. But through all of this, he must know how to make the hard decisions. Life is not so easily black and white. He must be able to watch a few people die over here, if it will save the many overhear, even as it tears at his soul. And at some point, he should be able to look back on those hard decisions he made without guilt over the choices he made. And a hero must be pure of heart. That is a hero in my eyes. And quite honestly, that's what I try my best to be. And hope that's who I am being molded closer into being everyday by God. I hold high standards, but that's what a hero is. Someone above the standered.

'Epic length paragraphs aren't actually all that epic.' A big problem I see. The reason I see this as a problem is because the longer the paragraph, the harder it is to keep track of where you are in it, and because seeing a paragraph that covers more than your screen can hold is, quite plainly, intimidating. These factors raise the point of tolerance a read must have to read. Yes, these may seem like small reasons, but the higher the tolerance of readers, the less readers you get. And if you aim for being a professional, you make money from readers. And everyone likes more cha-ching. After doing a little more study on this subject that what I had originally, I would say the major base of this problem stem from two areas. Area 1: the missing natural page break. In a book, every 300 or so words, no matter if there are many paragraphs, or just one, there is a natural page break that cuts down on paragraph size for the reader. A actually physically book forces word blocks to be around the 300-400 word range, very manageable as long as it doesn't happen often. This problem really only hits people who write on online sites, like our very own A problem that hits both book writers and Fanfiction writers is spamming epic length paragraphs. The problems of the epic length paragraphs bring are multiplied for everyone there is in row. In this case, it doesn't even involve epic length, just large. Enough paragraphs over 100-150 words and it quickly get many many times worse than the singular epic paragraph. Its, like, ok, one super boss paragraph I can handle, sometimes. but dozens, or hundreds of low boss paragraphs in a row, or almost in row? Ya, later suckers. Hope this helps*

'For every bonus a character get's, another problem to over come should be added.' You dont see this a lot in 'God' Naruto fics. It makes the character feel overpowered and the fanfic boring when the character has no problems he cant over come with practically a snap of his figures. You could say, give you character supper speed, but he cant see while he is moving. Now he may eventually come over the cant see when moving part but, that would be a long ways into your story. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

"Cannon lock" in my view this is when the writer change the universe in such a way a conversation, battle, ect, shouldn't of happened, but they put it in any way. Its one of the most common problems that i see. It is easy to not see this when you are writing, i know this from the little experience i have at writing. My best guess as to why it is common is because cannon is familiar to the author(and readers) so the author subconsciously grabs onto something familiar and doesn't notice this fact. This can also happens because because some author dont have the imaginations(like myself), or are to lazy to come up with new content that isnt "cannon" related. I believe this affect the diversity in fanfics a lot, for it really is quite low when you look at the plot.

'If you have the intensity at 100% all the time, you may as well have it at 1% all the time.' Basically this means that if your characters are always fighting and you never stop you may as well not have them fight at all, because if its always happening the tenseness you wish to have for your readers is gone. Plus they get tired of everything being a t the same level of intensity. Now this isnt just for fighting, that was a metaphor, it can be for, humor, drama, romance, ect, ect. There is a balancing act you have to do with this to be able to get the right amount of humor, ect, ect. It's a challenge to pull off sometimes, but it makes your story a lot better. I'm currently hopping I'm doing it write myself in my fanfic. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Another thing I have noticed is that some people like to have there character hung up on something for a long time. Now, I'm not saying its bad to give your character problems, but you need to not drag them out too long. In one story that really bothered me the person built his story around the character, Naruto in this case, being hung up over the fact that he was beat when he was young his whole story. I dont mean he had a grudge to his village, never did like those fisc my self in the first place, he kept breaking down when ever someone hugged him, and the other people didnt think he needed to get over it, in fact no one really helped him, they just gave him a hug and said, 'poor Naruto, look at what the villagers did to you.' and Naruto wasnt even doing that to manipulate someone. The tenth time that happened, seven years of life latter from when that stopped happening, it made me sick. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

I found a really good way to make sure your story is as smooth as possible. Read, or mumble, your story out loud to yourself, and while doing this see if the sentences feels natural and smooth to you as you talk. If not, edit it. Im sure your smart enough figure it out from there. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

I think the whole 'mental age' thing that writers use is just a bad excuse to make 'insert name' really strong. From what I think the mind space is not time being bent. I believe that its the synapses in the brain all working on that small world. I feel that time outside should still pass, but just really slow. I mean each synapses fires about 12 times a second, and there are 23.5 trillion of them in a brain on average. For the sake of argument, lets say for every second spent in this time world 100,000 synapses once, for every 12th of a second she spent 2 1/2 days in there. Now personally, I think only 12 minutes should pass in 'mind space' for every second in the real world. So if we use what has been said above the person didnt age anymore than normal. The hole body just shut down for a very small amount of time and the brain focused on the 'mind space'. Plus if you use this it make it where the character has to pop out of the mind space for them to stay alive, and that make's it fell less like a cheap trick. Even after all of this, I still think using the 'mind space' to learn anything is a trip trick that shows how of a un-creative and un-willing author you are to make any power your character has, feel like it is earned. I mean most time skips feel cheap to me, but this is on a hole new level of it. In-fact its so cheap I wouldn't even call it creative. Its just a way to get a supper 'insert name'. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

To all those Naruto fanfic writers, the Konoha Council is only Homura Mitokado and Koharu Utatane. Here is a link to show you where the info is, http:///wiki/Konoha_Council. I believe the meeting that involve all of Konoha's clans name is 'assembly', sense, if you followed those links, you would the council is only two people. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

To all those Naruto fanfic writers, I can't believe how so many people make Naruto's relationship with the Ichiraku 's so... shallow. Yes, it may have started of with them only liking for how much he ate, but even if he only eats there half as much as people tend to make me think, there should be a more personal relationship. I mean he has been going there for years, and its been a sanctuary from the glares and the life he had when he was younger. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

To Halo fanfic writers that have spartan romance...they aren't sexually attracted to anyone or anything because of there implants. They can still have brother/sister commander thou because thats not sexual attraction. You ask 'why is it made that way?' it because warriors that are distracted by there lusts aren't capable of fully fighting at there best, and the implant in there Thyroid removed that urge. Now those arent the exactly write words on how to explain it but im sure you smart enough to figure it out. If you wonder where i got this info, grab the Halo book 'Fall of Reach' and read the fist 50-100 pages and theres your answer. Yes the book is considered cannon.

The legend of the "Idiot Ball". The Idiot Ball is a ball that in some story's get passed from character to character. It, as the name would suggest, make the character holding it to a new found level of stupid that has only been seen before in other Idiot Ball carriers. These people get the Idiot ball because the author wants a story to progress in a certain direction that ether: A, can't happen with there story, or B, don't find a different way. You can see this when the person starts to do acts that makes you think they are "too stupid to live". If you looking for a better explanation, go to "tvtropes . org" and search "Idiot Ball" and "Too stupid to live"

Naruto fanfic writers(and to other writers, just paste relevant information) please stop making the average ninja an idiot/fool. I've seen so many Chunin made to look pathetic is truly sad. To put this in a little perspective, you know all the struggles the Chunin exams had for team 7? YOu know how tough and skilled they where at certain parts? Ya, to be a Chunin you are expected to be more capable than them in EVERY fashion. Infact, im pretty sure I've seen a Chunin be sent threw a tree and get up after words with only a few broken bones, if that. And yes with how tough Chunin really are, I've seen them killed/severely hurt by civilians. I mean really, if you can get punched threw a tree maybe have a broken bone for it, a civilian punching you should do nothing. It should be like a five year old punching a grown man in the chest. You would feel the impact, but it wouldn't hurt a bit.

I hope this improve the quality of everyone's story's =). Also, if you agree to any of the above please copy and past it to your profile so that's story's can improve. Thanks. O, if you do tweak it for some reason, please try to keep the spirit of constructively pointing out holes.

Halo fans

I found something funny the other day about what the Elites (Sangaheilie) say. "Wort" is the liquid extracted from the mashing process during the brewing of beer or whiskey. The sugarier in wort will be fermented by the brewing yeast to produce alcohol. Now every time I hear that I think "they must like there alcohol".

Current Story's

Splosion Maddnes



Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

RIP We shall remember

(='.'=) This is Bunny. Help Bunny achieve World Domination by copying this into your profile!

New Favorite Quote(s):

"Why did Sasuke cross the road? Because he wanted to avenge the chicken who didn't make it." - chocobo hero, GameFAQs.

"Uh, are there vampires in Twilight? Because they sparkle. And I thought those were called fairies." - Crispin Freeman.

"ANBU, Always Near But Useless" - Unknown

Just a little something on my view of post death treatment.

Why I die throw me in a hole
In halves, pieces, or whole
or toss me on a fire with gasoline
perhaps you’ll hear me crackling
or put me off to sea, in a boat fancy,
or just push me off the side
and waves I will ride

but in the end, I really don’t care
see ya suckers, I’m in a land more fair!

Recommended Authors, and their fics

Well, these three authors, LeaderPinhead, Alathea2, and hydraling110 are all in a metaphorical cage fight for top place. If I was to say which one is looking the best, it would be Alathea2. LeaderPinhead is behind her in second place., with hydraling110 pulling up last in the top 3. Though she would jump up past LeaderPinhead for 2nd place if she updated regularly.

For LeaderPinhead I highly recommend her series that starts with Pint Sized, it has a sequel that she is currently working on. Both of them together come to about 340k words. I haven't read her 'Adoption' series, her first series, nor have I read her comedy/parody 'fangirl' works.

hydraling110's Property Of is very highly recommended. It currently sits at 250k words. Sadly, I think it may be dead and I have not been able to get a response to any messages I send her. Though it may be because her computer finally died. One of her other works that I recommend, though not as highly, is One Time Too Many. It is complete and sits at about 14.5k, good for some laughs. Any other works she may have I have no knowledge on.

Alathea2's More Than a Guardian is highly recommended. It currently sits at 124k, as of this update, and is updated semi-regularly. She is currently focused on her other highly recommended fic, Turning Points which sits at 99k, as of this update. It is updated regularly. Easily 2-4 times a month, her chapters being about 6k an update for this story. Her Proving Ground (sequel) series is also highly recommended, just not as much as the other stories already listed. The series together sits at about 30k words, and both stories are complete. I do not think she has plans for another story in the series. The rest of her stories are also recommended reads, all of them. They are First Arrival (42k, in progress, sporadic updates), A Hundred Choices in One (2k, complete, not recommended for anyone easily offended by anything spiritual) and Christmas Mission (5k, complete, not recommended for anyone easily offended by anything spiritual) for the ones I have read. The only ones I have not read of hers are Riptide(5k, abandoned) and Lone Star Landing (8k, abandoned).

Other authors that are recommended above the regular favorites, in order of lest to greatest, are

Angel of Snapdragons for her works A Drop of Poison and A Month as Naruto Uzumaki

Fjord Mustang for all 5 of her works

Left hand turn signal for all 3 of his works

Katsuhiro for both of his works

And BlueOwl for his works To Shape and Change, Mysterious Thing, Time and Harry Potter Dark Memories

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