well, i guess i am making my profile a strange almost public diary of sorts, but mostly a depressed diary...lol...i am currently32 weeks pregnant and super excited about it, unfortunately my husband is more interested on his next 'boys nite' out at the bar, funny cuz he actually thinks this is ok and that i should be totally fine with it...of course i am not...not only is he following in his family tradition of becoming a total alcoholic but for a man who claims to want more children...well, being barely interested in this one really is what is going to keep that from happening...so, lets get to my plan... i cannot leave now due to the fact that, not only am i about to have i kid, but several years ago i took a huge loan from my 401k to 'help' us out...so, a large part of my paycheck goes to getting this loan paid off, funny thing, when i took this loan out it was agreed that i would receive funds from my husband to help with my 'wage-cut' (we have always kept our finances separate,if i wanna spend money on a ridiculous pair of boots i am gonna, nor will i feel guilty about how much it cost to get my hair done) but if he gave me up to $1200 i would be shocked, but the $1200 bucks he gave me it turns out was not for me really, it was given to me so that i could completely take over all of the household shopping, and the fucker actually insisted on reviewing every single receipt 'to make sure i wasnt wasting 'his money' (understand now about separate accounts?!?!?!) so i finally figured out, about a month ago, that this wasnt really working out...but, i am stuck for one more year, well, actually a year after my son is born...so approx one year after we celebrate diego's birth, i will be looking to move out, me, my son and two dogs...i warned my husband on numerous occasions that things could not continue as they are but i guess he never will believe me until afer i am actually gone...he didnt believe me when we broke up after dating for six years either...so i ahve adapted a new stragety to help keep myself from crying even more than my hormones push me to already...not to expect anything from him, if he chooses to go to the bar after work i would rather he just didnt call...so he has no obligations... i now think i understand the appeal of cutting...i have never done it so i might be 100% wrong but in my head it is like a release...because you can no longer contain 'it' and each persons 'it' is completely different...all of the ugly, brokeness, angst and loss of self...after a while it just doesnt fit anymore...no left over place to store, the emotional cannot hold anymore...the mental is so over abunded that the damn is already leaking and all of that over flow can only use so much of the spirit it cannot hold itself up any longer much less try to fly...odd, i was never particulary angsty as a kid or teen, dont get me wrong, life sucked but i was never miserable, so ironic that as i get older it is worse, like the buildup that usually hits in your teens was only just compounded and is taking over...happy birthday to me...it seems that most of my profile updates are on or around that day...welcome misery, so nice to meet you...staying awhile?
ok, not really too much to say...unfortunately i am more of a reader than a writer, actually i cannot claim to be a writer at all. a book addict, that is my claim.
thank you so much to all of the great writers out there, where would i be without you...reading the regular books again i guess...
basic facts, my name is nina and the rubell is a smoosching of my 2 nieces' names...i am 35, and as i have stated, i am a book addict...barnes and noble is my crack house, lol
the twilight series so far has been my biggest obsession, glad by the time i got hooked all four books had been released, i would have LOST MY MIND!! waiting for 2, 3 and 4 if it wasnt the movie that sucked me in...
i am married and currently have no children, not exactly trying yet either, i work at a bank and music it a VERY close #2 obsession (btw...if in...bathrobe ever reads this...i forgive you, lol) not much more to say bout me...
just keep writing ladies (and gentlemen too if you're out there) and keep me informed of any good stories that you come across, already raiding my fav auths fav story list...sure i will find lots more! love you all...
i am usually a good reviewer and usually dont complain too much if updates take awhile...i try really hard not to nag for more but sometimes i cannot help myself...
and as much as i like getting a review reply/PM if it is just to say 'thanks for R&R' i would rather you spent time actually writing, and i am almost sure that most readers feel the same...unless you actually want to reply or i have it all wrong and you need to set me straight the best thanks is another chapter to feed my addiction...now dont get all upset with me...i know the writers deserve their chance to say something to us but if it is generic, really why bother...one writer (you know who you are and i love you for it) actually adds my comments and comments back directly...that is fabulous and make readers feel very appreciated...js...an no, i do not expect a reply to every review to end up that way...even i am not that selfish...
